wow time does fly

Apr 27, 2010

ok i am ashamed to say i looked back and saw how long i ve not writen although i was on quit often and looked alot,  :)    i am much smaller and thinner then i wanted to be.    through out all of this i wanted to be a healthier person, not a skinny person. and i ve gone well beyond where i wanted to go , i was hopeing for around 150  but i am down to 103. i am torerateing more foods but its still a day by day process and it took me 42 years to make the habits and the body i carried for so long, i m trying to trust in my new body be patient while i learn the new system!                                                                                                                                             i ve had some sad days and emotional days but i honest to god  feel as if i m with out regrets,  i wish i could attack a big mac  ,  lol  and i would love a big thick grilled steak but would i got back to may 6th2009   and say ok i ve seen everything, every ache/ pains / scar / thought/  and others reactions  , that come with this surgery , would i not do it??. and i say i would                                                                                                                                                                  . i even had a few extra days stay, and  a bit of an infection. but i d take it all over again in a nano second.  i have energy  , i can walk  thru the store and not be as winded and exhusted. i can hug my boyfriend and feel his arms all the way around me .  i can  play with my grandkids and i m awake and up and i enjoymy days more  and i feel good when i wake up  refreshed actually not so sluggish.  i still have health issues my weight  cant fix.  i still have medications i will always have to take. i still have emotional days , but its not the same as it was when being over weight added to the burdens on my body and mind.   i was never ashamed to be fat or heavy i loved my curves,  but i loved the people around me who would miss my curves and everything that made me,   me.even more, if i did nt get healthier and inprove myself.        once you let someone into your life and let them love you even as a friend, then youve given apart of your self to them and you ve given them the right to worry  for you love and have concern right back.  so be good to yourself , your friends deserve the best you  , you can be!  have a great day everybody    there is life after the flu!!

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