Julie122780
~* This journey begins in 2004 when I began to research weight loss surgery and continues on during my struggles with insurance, doctors, and weight issues. *~
******Please click http://myspace.com/jewelzspace to Myspace at the top for my pictures, and my blog... feel free to add me as a friend as well if you would like! *******
****March 29, 2004****
My name is Julie, I am 23 years old. I have decided that having weight loss surgery is something that I need to live a normal life. I got the information from the Bariatric Treatment Center in the Mail and Called Loretta who is the patient services representative. She said that I should make an appointment even though I have not yet had my Sleep Apnea test done. My appointment is Thursday April 1, 2004 @ 8:30am. Loretta said that I should have prepared a list of all my dieting attempts, medications I am currently taking, Surgeries I have had in the past, and questions to ask the surgeon. I am very excited to get the ball rolling with this, but at the same time I am scared to death! I was reading entries from other members on this site and was hearing about a woman needing to have a tracheotomy (might be misspelled) but I am scared to death I dont want anyone cutting a hole in my throat! I am going to bring that up to the surgeon on Thursday when I go. I will update afterwards with more information.
****April 1,2004****
I had a consult at the Bariatric Treatment Center in Ypsilanti, Michigan. There were a few other people in the Center already. One lady whom I noticed was incredibly thin and I wondered to myself why she would be there. My mom and I sat waiting in the lobby and when this thin woman heard that I was there for my initial consultation she came and sat next to me. She introduced herself as Andrea a woman who had an open rny a year and a half ago. She was down 150lbs and looked amazing! She sat with me for a while telling me her story and answering my questions. Andrea gave me her email address and told me that when I go in for my surgery she wanted to come up and visit me, which made me feel great! While I was sitting in the lobby one of the nurses came out and gave everyone in the lobby including my mom and I a hug. It was great! About a half hour after arriving they called me back and the first thing they did was weigh me I was utterly mortified to find out my weight which I haven't known exactly for about 2 years and I weigh over 400 lets just put it that way. I was asked many questions by the nurse. Then the surgeon came in, Steven Poplawski M.D. This man had a great personality he was informative, and funny. Best of all he was understanding of my situation and seemed to genuniely care about my success with this. He answered every question I had honestly, and really gave me so much hope. He said because of my weight I would have to have the open RNY and laproscopic could only be done if I was to get down under 350 before surgery. If I could lose that much weight I wouldnt be in this situation. But I'm definatley going to try! After the surgeon was done explaining everything in detail a Patient Counselor came in her name is Melanie Forrester. She had actually had the surgery 7 years ago and she looked amazing, she even showed us her before picture. She went over specifics of the diet and things I should steer clear of. She was very sweet, and informative. I definately saw a pattern of caring people at the center. I have to have to see a cardiologist, a psychologist, have a pulmonary function test done, have my blood gases taken, also my sleep study before we can apply for approval. After this meeting I really feel that this is something that I can do, and I know that this is the beginning of a road that will change my life forever! I will update when more information is available! Good luck to everyone with their weight loss ventures!
****April 8,2004****
My cardiac clearance testing was today, I went and saw Dr. Mancini in Dearborn. Hes a great doctor and not to mention extremely attractive. They did an EKG and everything was normal, instead of doing a stress test they decided to to an Echo Cardiogram which basically is just an ultrasound of the heart. They had me undress and put on a gown that was way too small for me. Then they did the ultrasound and let me tell you it is very strange to see your heart beating on a screen. Dr. Mancini said that I have thickening around my heart caused by obstructive Sleep Apnea and that it can turn into heart disease if not taken care of which is why he was so happy that I am doing this. He gave me the clearance to have the surgery. Oh, by the way since my consult at the BTC I have been on a low carb, low fat, no sugar or caffeine diet and in exactly 1 week I lost 10lbs. I was floored when I got on the scale I am definately staying on this diet until surgery.
****April 13,2004****
Today I had my PFT done which is Pulmonary Function Testing which was at Annapolis Hospital in Wayne Michigan. They also drew my blood gases which (I am sorry but I am going to give it to you straight)was horrible. My friend Jeanie went with me and I squeezed her hand so hard she thought I may have broken some bones. My arm was sore for the rest of the day. The woman who performed the test was an african american woman in her early to mid 40's she was very nice. She led me into the pulmonary testing area where I was seated in a chair next to a machine. The machine had a tube attached with a mouth piece that reminded me of a mouth guard that you wear for sports. I had to bite down on the guard and do a number of tests to register my lung capacity and such. After doing that she gave me combivent an inhaled medication and I then performed several of the tests again. She said everything looked good and that the specialist would look over the results and get the info to my PCP and I am sure I will know as soon as it comes in due to the fact that my mother is a Nurse at the office. The people at Annapolis were very friendly, I even noticed after I left that I had left my wallet there and they had made several attempts to contact me. As for the diet, its going ok... I am noticing that I am having cravings for carbs like crazy! I have had a few here and there but I am trying to steer clear of them as best as I can. Over the weekend I went to hang out with my friend Robert and his mom had the surgery and I talked to her. She had the micro pouch at the Cori centers and she lost 175 in a year. I am beginning to wonder if I should explore my options and see which I am comfortable with. Saturday Morning I am going to a support group meeting at the BTC and I will post then about my experience.
****April 16,2004****
The support group meeting isn't until tomorrow but I have to update! Today I went with my friend Jeanie she was going to donate plasma which if you didn't know is the liquid portion of your blood. They pay you for your donation so I decided that I would also do it, when I went into the center they asked a lot of questions and then they asked me to step up on the scale and I was absolutely floored when I found out I have lost 30 lbs in the past 2 weeks!!! This is utterly amazing to me, my dad said the majority of it is water weight but I don't care I have never lost 30 lbs in my life, and even though it is a small amount of weight compared to the size I am... I am noticing a difference in the way my pants are fitting, they are not loose but just not as snug. Tomorrow morning I am going to the support group meeting at the BTC and my friend Jason is going with me he also is looking into getting the surgery. I am very excited in learning more about it.
****April 18,2004****
I went to the support group meeting yesterday at the BTC. I got up at 7:30am and picked up my friend Jason and we headed over there. When we walked into the meeting I noticed that almost everyone in there was on the smaller side. They had us sign in and take some pamphlets and information. Once about 20 people had arrived they started the meeting, every person there except us and one other lady were post-op. They went around telling their names and when they had surgery and how much weight they have lost. One woman who was there with her daughter, was telling of her great experience this week. She had fulfilled her lifelong dream of being able to shop in the same store as her daughter. She was down to a size 16 and she started getting teary eyed when she was talking. She told how much her life had dramatically changed since the surgery. It was very encouraging to see all the success they had. They talked about questions, and told of their weight loss struggles and issues and everyone was supportive and lent their suggestions. It was great to see everyone rooting eachother on I definately want to attend the support group meetings after my surgery. I am still on the diet, with a lot of difficulty I am finding myself craving bread. It has been a struggle. Oh by the way also at the meeting they told us that everyone needs to have a hobby... which I don't have one so I guess I will try to find a hobby. My sleep test is in 12 days, and my friend James told me that they are going to put sticky electrodes in my hair... not too excited about that but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
****April 29,2004****
Last night was my Sleep Study and it was quite a treat. I went to the Oakwood Sleep Center in Westland, I went in and the tech, Mike, had me watch a video on sleep apnea and how the test works. Afterwards I went into the small room that consisted of a bed, 2 night stands, a closet, a television, and a bathroom. He got me all hooked up and I literally had electrodes all over my body, even in my hair which was held in place with some sticky wax. I was not able to put my hair up, because of all the wires and I have longer hair and never sleep with it down. I had a lot of trouble trying to sleep. I was in a strange environment, with wires all over my body, and I was just all around uncomfortable. Mike came in and told me that if I didn't fall asleep that I would have to re-schedule for another time and I had waited like a month to get into that place. So I was frustrated to say the least. Finally around 3am I believe I was able to sleep. I was awakened at 6:15 Mike said that I had awoke over 20 times in the 3 hours from my sleep apnea. He said that I definately have it, and that my quality of sleep is very poor because of it. He said that the doctor will look over my results and he will let me know my method of treatment. What a night, I tell ya... and then I come home tonight only to find out that my dads human resources department sent a letter out which states that I am not elligible for insurance through them after my 23rd birthday. They said something about sending a COBRA packet... my mom said that is where I would have to pay additional to be on their insurance she didn't know the cost but she guessed somewhere in the ballpark of 200 a month. Which I am not working right now so that is discouraging. Today was my last final exam for this semester so I am going to just start looking for a job. Also I got a call from the BTC yesterday and they said that they had already applied for approval from my insurance company. The insurance company said they didn't have enough information to approve they wanted a psych eval, weight history of the past 5 years, and proof that I have been under physicians care for weight related issues and that I have been on a calorie restricted diet for at least 12 months. I don't know why they said that if I am not even on their insurance plan. I am extremely frustrated right now, what seemed right within my grasp seems so impossible to obtain. This is one of the times I feel like drowning my sorrows in a gallon of haggen-daas. Good thing I am a different person than I used to be, and when I am feeling upset I am able to surround myself with other activities to take my mind off of eating. Anyway I have to get this insurance situation squared away, and find someone who will do my psych evaluation that accepts my insurance (I am dually insured). I will update when I find out more.
****May 13,2004****
Ok so the results came back and I definately have Sleep Apnea, the doctor set a cpap trial for the 22nd... yay more wires and stuff. This time I am going to make sure that I am tired when I go so I have no problems falling asleep. My dads insurance sent out the COBRA packet and out of pocket the insurance would cost me 370.00 a month which is quite a chunk of change. I called around to different insurance companies locally to find out how much their individual plans are and I found a company where it is considerably cheaper. They are sending out the coverage information for me to review before I decide to go ahead with it. So I am waiting on that to come in the mail. My PCP wrote a wonderful letter reguarding all of my medical issues and her feelings on my necessity of the surgery. I am still working on the diet, I have been very good with a few exceptions here and there but I am eating very differently than I used to. I drink a lot of water, and I also love crystal lights raspberry iced tea. It has only 5 calories per serving and no carbs, also its a nice change from drinking water all day. I have been on a few different scales and none of them are remotely close to eachother I am beginning to think that its hard to get an accurate weight when you are this big. My friends and family tell me that I have lost obvious weight. My Dad told me that my face is looking thinner. My grandparents have made comments that they are very proud of me and that I look at least 50 lbs lighter. I don't know how true that is, but I have lost inches and my clothes are fitting better. I stopped exercising where I was because my free trial ran out and being unemployed I cannot afford to pay for the membership fee there. Currently I am searching for either an exercise I can do at home or another cheaper facility I can work out in. I have an XL glider in my basement its similar to the Tony Littles Gazelle freestyle Elite, But the machine makes the arches of my feet ache. I have extremely high arches in my feet so maybe that is the cause. So for now I will just continue the diet and wait for the information from the insurance company and when I find out more I will update.
****May 31, 2004****
Ok, so I got the information in the mail from the insurance company and they say that it will cost me 255.00 a month. My parents were not willing to pay this fee although by the grace of God it is going to be paid by my anonymous angels. The only thing I am worried about is that they are able to deny you for any reason they see fit and you have to put your current weight on the application. My guess is that when they see my weight they will deny me. I guess we are going to send the packet in though and wait and see what happens. My mom is able to chose her insurance carrier during open enrollment and one of the insurers is ohs care which she has. The other is M Care which has covered the surgery for others without problems. So if by some chance I do not get approved for the out of pocket insurance I will go ahead and try to get it under M Care. Also I went to the CPAP trial at the sleep center that was a week ago yesterday. That was a treat. Because of my problem with falling asleep the last time I only slept for 4 hours the night before the test. I got to the facility at 9pm but due to flooding of the area the technician did not get there until close to 930. He got me all hooked up and everything and he had me try a few different masks until I found one that fit somewhat comfortably. Not that any cpap mask is comfortable. (Note: this is not intended to discourage anyone in any way I am merely stating my personal opinions) He started the machine and to be quite honest I hated it from the very beginning. I felt like I was not getting enough air from the mask and he told me to keep my mouth shut. The wires were pulling on me, I was sweating, my room was very warm, and my stomach was starting to hurt. After tossing and turning for near 2 hours I asked the tech to come in and let me go to the bathroom. I did so and told him that my stomach was upset he let me lie down for a few without the mask and I was ready to pass out. Then he came in and hooked me back up and once again I tossed I turned, my stomach began hurting again, I was uncomfortable. After another 2 hours passed the Tech came in and asked me what the problem was I told him I was not feeling well and that I didn't like wearing the mask. He said that there was nothing he could do... at another facility he works for if a patient is having trouble falling asleep they give them a sleeping pill but at this facility they do not do that. So I told the tech that I would attempt to fall asleep for another hour and once again I tossed and turned. Finally at 4am the tech came in and I told him that I knew I was not going to be able to sleep despite my exhaustion. So we decided to just go ahead and end the test. At this point I am not sure if it is goign to be necessary for me to use a cpap machine before my surgery. I really don't want to at all. I will have to wait and see what happens. So at this point I just have to wait and see if I get the approval to be on that insurance. I am remaining on the diet for the most part. The other day I had a spell where I got really sweaty and my forehead was dripping, and I began to shake and tremble all over and my stomach was hurting really bad... I felt like I was going to get sick, and my heart was racing, I was feeling very lightheaded and dizzy it was strange. I do not know what it was from but I am going to talk to the doctor and when I find out what it was I will update I am wondering though if maybe it had something to do with my sugar levels. I remember when I was younger being friends with some diabetic twins and they used to get very dizzy and lightheaded when their sugar was down so I am not sure. But I will update when I get more information about my situation.
***December 26, 2004***
Wow it has been a long time, but here is the deal. No insurance would cover me to have this surgery. I have tried and tried to no end. I am at a loss and I feel like I am suffocating. Over the summer I lost around 50 lbs and I have gained it all back and then some. I have no idea what to do with myself at this point but I am tired of being fat. I had a dream last night that I was too fat to fit through the door at the mall which is far from true but that is what I fear will happen if I do not get some help. Anyone who has any advice or suggestions to get me back on track please email me. I want to start to diet again on January first but I do not know how to go about it. The low carb diet I was on made me very very sick and I cannot go back on a diet of this sort. So anyone who has advice or suggestions for me please let me know. Thank you very much.
***January 16, 2005***
About a week ago today I had a dream and it was a very real dream, I am sure we have all had them. I dreampt that I was at my grandma's house and she was very sick... which she has been for quite some time she has congestive heart failure. Anyway, I was at her house and she was very ill and my aunt had just come out of her bedroom where she was laying and I asked her how my grandma was doing. She told me that she was not doing well and that she would probably not make it. Then she looked me in the eye and said "Neither will you, if you don't do something about your weight." I recall being very frightened by this and I woke up dumbfounded. I thought maybe it was just because I had been thinking alot about my weight lately and left it at that. As the day went on I could not get this out of my mind. I decided to tell my mom about it, and I broke down in tears. I told my mom that I had to do something and that I could not just sit around waiting on this surgery that I am afraid will never happen. My mom seemed happy she never gets on me about my weight, but I know that she is worried about me. I told her that I wanted to join weight watchers but I was afraid to do it alone. She told me that she would do it with me, and that made me feel really good because I need someone to support me. We went to the local weight watchers center in Canton and everyone there was very nice. It only cost 20.00 to join and then I will pay 12.00 each week when I weigh in. We opted to buy the starter pack as well which came with an extensive dining out guide and list of foods and point values as well as a nice organizer for all of our weight watchers information and papers. I was nervous about weighing in because I had not weighed myself in quite some time and I was very afraid that I was way over the weight I was when I had gone to the BTC. I was quite shocked to see that I was not,I was still less than I was then but I had gained all of the weight back except 5 pounds. After weighing in we went and sat down for the meeting and then the Leader of the meeting Robert sat down with us afterwards and gave us a run down of the 2 different plan options. There was alot of information to read so I came home and read the papers and made a list of things I wanted to buy. I am telling you if you have not tried the Turnaround program from weight watchers you should give it a try before you opt to have weight loss surgery. I have been on the diet now for 5 days and I have not felt deprived in the least. In fact I am eating more than I was before the diet just different types of food. I can still have the "Bad stuff" just in small portions. I feel alot better and I have learned about reading labels. I definately can see why this diet works for people. Next thursday is the day that we go back and weigh in and I cannot wait to see if I have made any progress I will update when I find out more. If anyone has any questions feel free to email me. Bye, and good luck everyone with your weight loss ventures.
****May 27, 2005****
Okay so I did the weight watchers thing and I managed to lose about 20lbs in 4 months which at the size I am is practically nothing at all. So needless to say I gave up. I have since gained back the weight and then some. I have come to a point in my life where I am going to do this surgery once and for all. If I do not do it, I am afraid that I will just continue to gain until I cannot walk. I was walking around the mall with my mom the other day and it was so painful for me to get around that I went home and cried. I want to do this because I want to be around to have kids and grandkids. I am 24 years old and I have more medical issues than my parents put together and that is just not right. I am going to pay out of pocket for the surgery. Yes, I know it is very costly, but I am going to do it. Sitting waiting is getting me no where, and I just cannot sit back and watch my life pass me by any longer. I am ready to live. I contacted the CORI centers by email last week and talked to a woman on the phone a few days ago they said they are going to have a representative send out some information and call me. I have not heard from them yet but I am excited to do so. If anyone has paid out of pocket for the surgery please contact me and let me know about your experience and your costs. [email protected]. Thanks!!
****June 27,2005****
I heard from the patient care rep. with the CORI centers. I inquired about the financing that I heard about and she informed me that they have no financing available through the center and the only financing option would be if you financed through an outside source which is not an option for me based on my horrendous credit! She said that the surgery and the hospitalization is approximately $22,000, that is less than I thought she was going to say. She said that you do have to have the entire amount in full at the time of the procedure. Which means that I will be waiting for a few more months until my surgery. I have waited this long so what is a few more months? I have spent this past week moving which has taken a toll on my back which is killing me! Friday night I went to canada, which is only about 30 mins away from where I live, as a going away party for one of my best friends who is going to Mexico for a month. We were club hopping walking down the main strip when I heard a comment made by a girl sittin on a bench. She was sitting there with a guy when she leaned over and said "Oh my God, Look at how fat that ass is!" Honestly at that moment I wanted to go over and sock that girl in her face which I contemplated for a moment and then after the anger of the situation wore off I was really hurt. What would cause a person to be so cruel to say something like that so the person being insulted could obviously hear? Every person in the world should spend a DAY living the life we do. I do not think there is a single moment of my life that passes that I am not reminded of how overweight I am. People are so inconsiderate and rude. I think everyone should know what its like to be this way and then maybe they could have an ounce of compassion for those who are obese. Anyway, I just quit smoking 4 days ago and with the exception of a few cravings here and there I am doing pretty good. It is going to be hard though because my boyfriend smokes, who I have not seen since I quit. So that should be interesting. I am going to go back on a diet soon, so I can try to lose a few lbs., I am thinking maybe I should go back on atkins but I havent decided. I will update later!!! Take care ALL!!!
****September 4, 2005****
I just went back to school a few days ago, which I hate because the hike from the parking lot to my classes is like hell. I am so out of breath when I get there. I always feel like people are staring at me wherever I go saying to themselves "look at this fat girl." Although rarely do people ever comment, at least not so I can hear it. So a about three weeks ago I went for a routine eye exam at Vision Pro. The doctor was checking my eyes and told me that I have papilitis in my left eye. I was confused but he said that my ocular nerves were swollen and it could be caused by a number of things but one of them is a brain tumor. So, he sent me to an opthemoligist. I went and saw dr. Kleinfeldt in Livonia and he checked my eyes out and did some tests and said that what I have is pseudo tumoritis which is swelling of the ocular nerves, but he said that I needed to see a neurologist. Well, before I could get in to the neurologist I began having numbness in my tongue and my lips. After a few days the numbness spread to my chin my cheek and up the side of my face and my forehead and also my jaw began locking up randomly throughout the day. So, I went to see the neurologist who shall remain nameless at this time. He asked me many many questions some irrelevant to the situation. He checked in my eyes and said it was pseudo tumoritis and that I would have to have an MRI MRV and MRA just to make sure that its not a brain tumor. He said he thought that it may be due to my weight and that I needed to lose the weight otherwise the pressure will need to be released off my ocular nerves and they may have to go in and cut my eyes open and slice my ocular nerves to release pressure. I cringed as he said that and I told him about my plan of having the surgery, he said it was a very good idea. We proceeded out to the reception area where he wrote up the order for the testing. He handed me the papers and spoke very loudly so the waiting room and everyone in the office could hear and he said "Now when you schedule this make sure you tell them that you weigh XXX Pounds" and he actually said my weight outloud. My sister was standing next to me and I could feel her jaw drop without looking. One of my best friends Adri was in the lobby and I looked at her and saw her eyes grow big as if she was saying "Oh, No he didn't!" I was absolutely mortified. I just don't understand what the point was in saying my exact weight. He could have said tell them of your size or your weight problem. It was just so unnecessary for him to say the weight. Anyway, so the numbness and lockjaw continued to happen and my PCP (Primary Care Physician) Dr. King (whom I love to death, she is my favorite doctor ever) she told me that I should see my dentist because it sounded like possible TMJ which is a problem with your jaw joint. So I went to see my dentist Dr. Hayward in Plymouth and she asked lots of questions and felt around and she said I needed a Bite guard to wear when I was sleeping or just sitting around. She said that the guard will release pressure off of my jaw and make it so I can relax the joint. She took impressions of my mouth and made and appointment for me to come back in a week to get the guard. She said I needed to see and oral surgeon and I made the appointment and I go there on Sept. 21 or 22. So right now I am just in a holding pattern waiting to see what happens. I don't know I am hoping that the numbness and locking jaw are from the TMJ but I do not want to have to have surgery on my jaw. I am hoping that the Pseudo Tumoritis is from the weight and not something else going on. Things have been crazy lately. I broke up with my boyfriend we were together a year and I broke up with him on the day that we were celebrating our anniversary. I realized that he was not the one that I was supposed to marry and since I am getting to be 25 soon, I should not waste time with someone who is wrong for me when someone who is right might be looking too. He was always against me having this surgery. He never understood. So if any guys out there are single and looking ;) WINK
I am just kidding. I have gone 2 months and 11 days without a cigarette! I do not have any cravings except when I have had a few drinks then I feel like I need to smoke. One of my really good friends Kimmy sent me her pic I have not seen her in a few years since she first had her surgery because she moved to florida but she looks amazing. She started bigger than I am and she looks like a different person I am so proud of her and it makes me happy because I hope to have the success that she has had. For now I am just waiting on the money for my surgery to come I am hoping sometime before the trial date but we cannot say. I cannot discuss the situation further at this time because it is a pending lawsuit. Take care everyone I will update later.
****March 13, 2006****
Yes it has been a long time since I have updated. Lets see... I got a new insurance through my job Preferred Choices through Trinity Health its a ppo. I got that in January and I just started to look for a provider in network. This insurance says they will cover the surgery as long as it is proven medically necessary, but it will only be covered in network. CORI centers is out of network, I called BTC/Barix and they said that it should be covered but they want me to come in for a meeting or something so they scheduled me to come in today and 12:30. I have not gone yet, but I will update to tell what happened. The facial numbness and lockjaw has gone away, thank GOD! I am still cigarette free! I decided about a month and a half ago to go back on a diet which I did, I joined Ediets.com and I did their atkins program and had no success at all. I am still dieting and I have lost about 15 lbs and a few inches in my waist hips thighs and such. I joined Lifetime Fitness and I have been doing the treadmill and the recumbant bike, some weights also and it has been great for me... I feel very good after I work out. I purchased a high capacity scale also and for once I actually know what my weight is. I am hoping to have surgery over the summer, although I do not know if there is a waiting period for pre-existing conditions being that I have only had this insurance since January. I guess I will find out soon enough. So, I am going to go to this meeting and see what I can find out and I will update and let you know how it goes. Also, if anyone wants information on joining lifetime fitness, let me know, and I will give you the name of the girl who hooked me up. She is a former big girl... and is the reason I joined because she made me feel so welcome, so comfortable, and she will do the same for you. Feel free to email me [email protected].
****April 20, 2006****
On 3-25-06 I lost one of my very best friends. Jason Braun of Milan Michigan was a member on this site, and was also morbidly obese. He and I used to date, and we had been best friends for over 5 years. He had been struggling to have the surgery for the past 2 years while he was in and out of the hospital because of his heart, and cellulitis. Jason and I were a support system to eachother both dealing with the same issues and struggles. Jason was a wonderful person with a big heart. He left behind a son Jordan who is 7 years old. I have been trying to deal with the loss as best as I can but he was such a big part of my life that it is so hard. We used to talk about what we were going to do when we "Were Normal" again, meaning after we had the surgery and lost weight. We would talk about how we were going to travel, and live life again. I had a dream about a week after he passed, and in the dream I was going to a restarant, and his family was there and so was he, but it was like his spirit or something. I ran up to him and hugged him so tightly as I sobbed and I kissed him on the cheek and told him that I loved him and missed him. He told me that he loved me too. I looked at him crying and said "I promise you Jason, that I will accomplish what we set out to do, I promise that I will make you proud." I noticed that he was much skinnier and said "Look at me... I have no weight issue in heaven." That is when I woke up and the dream was so vivid and real. I just really felt as though it was a message letting me know that Jason is alright. Jason would be very happy for me today, my letter of approval was sent to the insurance company today and I am now waiting for approval. I hope and pray that it comes back quickly and that I am approved. I have been waiting hoping and praying for this surgery for so long now, I have tried everything in the book and I am just so ready to live life.
I went to a seminar last night at LivLite with my mom last night at Bi-County Hospital and the people there are so very nice. The surgeons seem wonderful and they had 4 former patients there and they all had such wonderful things to say and they were so successful I just cannot wait. I just want to get this done and over with so I can be on the path to my new life. I will update as soon as I hear if I am approved. Take care!
**** June 1, 2006 ****
Yesterday I called the insurance company because I had not heard wether or not my surgery was approved. So I talked to a lady in their customer service department and she informed me that they had come to a decision, and the letter had been sent although she could not tell me what the decision was. I figured that probably meant that I was not approved and that she just could not tell me that over the phone. Around 3:15pm I got a call from Susan Poplar at Liv-Lite and she informed me that I had been approved. I immediately began screaming and crying, all the years of hoping and waiting and trying have finally paid off. Finally after a lifetime of obesity I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have to see the surgeon before they can schedule my surgery date. So I am guessing that my surgery will be sometime in July. I am just so happy, and I cannot wait to be on the road to my new life. I will update with all changes. To those who are learning about the surgery, do not give up hope because miracles do come true.
**** July 9, 2006 ****
I had my consultation with Dr. Pesta, went well though he told me I have to have a filter placed in my artery to prevent a blood clots from traveling to my lungs its due to my high BMI. I had to have a Dobutamine Stress Test, that was fun. My case had to be presented to the board of the hospital for approval as well I am guessing because my bmi is so high that they have to be shown that I am able to handle the surgery and that I am able to mobilize afterwards. Anyway, the committee met last Thursday and I got a call telling me everything was good to go. So I made my appointment with the surgeon who is going to place my filter. My appointment is July 19, and my filter surgery will be July 20. From there my surgery will be about 7-10 days after that. I am a big ball of emotion, I am so excited, and nervous. This is something that always seemed so unattainable and now that its approaching its emotional. I just can't believe all the work that has gone into this and how glad I am that it has finally paid off that I can have the tool that is going to aid me in my quest for health, and a more normal lifestyle. I am sitting here sobbing right now as I listen to my boyfriend Dan snore.
I took before pictures and it was very difficult to view them after they had been taken. It is hard to see what I have become. I cannot wait to have them as just a distant memory of what I used to be.
****August 10, 2006****
Wow its been a while huh? I had the IVC vena cava filter surgery July 20th that was not too bad. I could not move my neck for 3 days but it could have been worse. My Open RNY surgery was one week ago today! I arrived at the hospital at 7am on August, 3rd and they took me back and began to prep me. I was slightly nervous but very excited. The guys who prepped me were so funny that it took the edge off. I remember them putting the IV in, and I slightly remember seeing my surgeon for a second and him telling me he would be back but I probably would not remember him being there. I remember one of the guys John holding me forward while I sat on the edge of the bed as they were putting my epidural in my spine, from what I can recall that was not terrible. I vaguely recall my mom and my boyfriend coming into the room and they were spraying my throat with some spray talking about preparing to intubate me. I remember them wheeling me into the OR and getting on the table. I remember a guy putting something metal down my throat and he removed it as soon as I began to gag. I remember him saying that I would not remember them intubating me and thats the last thing I recall. The next thing I knew I was waking up and I could sugar coat it and say it was not so bad, or that I was a little sore, but I will give it to you straight... I was in a LOT of pain when I woke up. I remember feeling very tight in my stomach area and having a quite annoying mouth and nose oxygen mask. I kept asking them if they would allow my mom to come back and I know I was told several times that I had to wait because of the privacy of other patients. Next thing I knew my mom and my boyfriend were on each side of me. I don't recall much but I recall being in severe pain and them being right by me. Finally they told me that my room was ready and they took me up. I remember being in my private room and being in pain. I remember my boyfriend and my mom one on each side, I was holding my boyfriends hand and gouging my moms arm because of the pain. The next thing I knew I woke up and I think the epidural had began to kick in and I did not feel horrible anymore. Everything was fine while I had the epidural in, still sore and everything but it was not so bad. I kept getting up and walking with my mom and my oxygen and it was very hard. I was so happy when they started giving me ice chips because my mouth had been so dry. I was even more excited when they started giving me popsicles, it felt so good going down and it was quite soothing. I came across one nurses aid that I fell in love with in the hospital her name was Maryanne, she was awesome. I was super itchy from the epidural and I was upset because my butt itched and I could not get it so she actually scratched my back and butt with both hands. She was such a sweet person I loved her. I did however encounter a nurses aid that was rude, and mean also I can't remember her name but my mom and I both almost told her to kiss our butts and not to come back. My mom stayed with me at the hospital until I finally got to go home saturday. The ride home was not so fun, but it could have been worse. So, I have been relaxing at home since surgery. I have been trying to take it easy but its hard. I have had a lot of drainage that has soaked my shirt and shorts a few times. Things were shaky the first few days but I am getting better. The gas pains have been horrible, but I just take it one day at a time and I am one week post-op and I will update more after I see the surgeon monday.
****September 2, 2006****
Okay so I have not been keeping up very well with the posts I apologize. As of last wednesday I am -36lbs. I have been doing pretty well with the exception of chewing the food well enough. Twice I have gotten things stuck in my throat which is so uncomfortable! I have not been working out as much as I should but I have been busy and I want to do the aerobics and my surgeon said not until I was 6 weeks out. I still do not really get the sensation of being full which is very strange. I have gotten nauseous several times and ran to the bathroom thinking I was going to get sick but after I sit there 2 minutes for so the feeling passes and I have not actually gotten sick. It is very weird because I can watch people eating the forbidden foods and it does not bother me but what does bother me is when I see people drinking pop or soda (as some people refer to it). I was a Pepsi FREAK! So it is difficult for me to see people drinking pop. I also have been craving salad, which I cannot have yet. It is difficult for me to get the protein in also because I am lazy and I make a huge mess with the blender and everything when I am mixing it. I have been trying though. I also have been trying to get in all the water that I should have daily. My clothes are starting to get looser and I do not want to purchase new ones that I am just going to grow out of. So I need to find someone who is losing to temporarily donate some clothes to me. Anyway, I will update soon with my progress. Feel free to e-mail me or contact me on Myspace.com if anyone has any comments or questions about anything! Thanks!
**** December 5, 2006 ****
I am down 92lbs right now and I can see the transformation. It has not been easy but I am hanging in there. I cannot wait to shed some more lbs!
**** August 16, 2007 ****
I am so bad at keeping up, I am sorry! I am just over a year post-op now! I am down 170 lbs and I found out 3 weeks ago that I am pregnant. In reading my story I never brought up the fact that the guy I was with when I had my surgery and I broke up in December. He was not a bad guy, he took good care of me after my surgery but it was clear that our relationship was just not going anywhere and so I broke it off. I have been with Jerome since January and we are 13 weeks and 4 days pregnant, this is his second child and my first. So far I have had some crappy symptoms and felt awful most of the time, which sucks, but I think in the end it will be worth it. I still have 60 lbs to go to be at my personal goal, and I hope that after having the baby I can get there.
**** August 28, 2007 ****
What a sad, sad terrible week it has been. I suffered from a miscarriage on Aug 22 and its the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Here is the story:
Miscarriage Story
I will tell you exactly what happened to me. I got very sick, with terrible migraines. I thought I had a brain tumor or something because they were so very severe. I would have to be in bed for days at a time. One day my migraine was so severe I had to go to the Emergency Room. They decided to do a CAT scan and then they asked me if I was pregnant. I had taken a pregnancy test 2 weeks prior and it was negative, so I told them no. They did a urine test, and she came back with 2 positive pregnancy tests and told me I was. I was shocked! More shocked when they told me I was 10 weeks.
So, I got really excited and started making plans. I could not wait, because I honestly thought I was not fertile.
When I was about 11 weeks I began to spot, and the spotting led to bleeding. I was concerned and they kept telling me it was nothing to be concerned about. Over the next few weeks they did several ultrasounds telling me everything was fine.
When I was 14 weeks I woke up and went to the bathroom and I passed a clot that was the size of a baseball. I freaked out and called the OB they said to come and they would check the heart tones. They said the heart rate was perfect and sent me on my way. I went home and I laid down, when I got up I felt a gush and a huge clot literally fell out of me on to the bedroom floor and blood started to gush down my legs. I called the OB and they said to come immediately. I was leaking like a faucet at this point. They started the ultrasound and I could tell immediately that something was wrong. They had done 6 ultrasounds in 4 weeks at this point so I knew what it looked like, and it just looked different. The tech looked very serious. "Something is wrong isn't it?" I asked. She said that she hoped she was wrong but it looked like the baby was far down and my cervix was open. The doctor came and confirmed that I was in process of miscarriage. They admitted me to the hospital.
The bleeding subsided and the cramps stopped. The next day the doctor came and said my cervix had closed. It seemed like a miracle. Later that night the cramps came back times 20. At one point I could do nothing but lay there and scream, and I was losing so much blood. Finally the doctor came and said he wanted to do a ultrasound and he looked and said "I am sorry the baby has passed away". I could see there was no heartbeat. He said my body was going toxic and he had me in the Operating room for a D&C within 15 minutes. My temps were upwards of 104 at this point. Over the next 2 days they pumped me full of antibiotics and the temps returned to normal.
So here I am now, without my baby. My poor boyfriend just wants to do anything to make me smile but I cannot pretend that I am alright because I am not. I cannot think of anything but my baby. I feel so lost, and I do not know how to go on. I cry constantly. I cannot stand to see people with their babies and kids because it hurts me that I cannot be with mine. I feel so empty, not just emotionally but physically too. I am angry at my body for not holding the baby and protecting it the way it should. I want a baby so desperately but I am so afraid to consider trying again. I could not go through this again. I miss my baby angel and I do not think this pain will ever go away.
**** OCTOBER 5, 2007 ****
I found out yesterday my baby was a girl. I wanted a girl so badly, and I completely broke down in the OBs office. We named her Kaitlyn Marie Navock, and strangely I feel much closer to her now that I know her sex and she has a name. Other than that things have been hard at times, but there are moments when I am doing alright with everything too. I love my baby girl with all of my heart and soul and nothing will ever change that, even if I am able to have a healthy baby one day it will not take away the love I feel for my first baby. Mommy misses you!
My weight loss has been crazy, I got on the scale and I had gained! Yes, can you believe I had gained a few lbs. For some reason I had been retaining a lot of water and my hands were very swollen. It was also my first cycle since my miscarriage so maybe that had something to do with it. At the OB yesterday my weight was pretty much back down to where it was before but I am still mid-cycle. I have been focusing more on eating more protein, I was slacking for a while there but I am giving it a good effort and I switched to a vitamin that I did the water test to and it was absorbable so I have been taking those. I tried riding my recumbent bike for the first time since my miscarriage and I rode it for about 9 miles and my legs were shaking so badly and I felt horrible the rest of the day. I wish I had gotten a treadmill instead. The bike is a Schwinn and it is almost brand new and cost 450 bucks! I hate to have an expensive piece of equipment sitting here that I cannot use. I wish I could find a workout buddy in the area who was wanting to work out with me. I am not the type that is comfortable going to work out on their own. We shall see what happens I guess. I want to lose another 55 lbs. I am getting discouraged thinking it might not happen though. *sigh*
My name is Julie, I am 23 years old. I have decided that having weight loss surgery is something that I need to live a normal life. I got the information from the Bariatric Treatment Center in the Mail and Called Loretta who is the patient services representative. She said that I should make an appointment even though I have not yet had my Sleep Apnea test done. My appointment is Thursday April 1, 2004 @ 8:30am. Loretta said that I should have prepared a list of all my dieting attempts, medications I am currently taking, Surgeries I have had in the past, and questions to ask the surgeon. I am very excited to get the ball rolling with this, but at the same time I am scared to death! I was reading entries from other members on this site and was hearing about a woman needing to have a tracheotomy (might be misspelled) but I am scared to death I dont want anyone cutting a hole in my throat! I am going to bring that up to the surgeon on Thursday when I go. I will update afterwards with more information.
****April 1,2004****
I had a consult at the Bariatric Treatment Center in Ypsilanti, Michigan. There were a few other people in the Center already. One lady whom I noticed was incredibly thin and I wondered to myself why she would be there. My mom and I sat waiting in the lobby and when this thin woman heard that I was there for my initial consultation she came and sat next to me. She introduced herself as Andrea a woman who had an open rny a year and a half ago. She was down 150lbs and looked amazing! She sat with me for a while telling me her story and answering my questions. Andrea gave me her email address and told me that when I go in for my surgery she wanted to come up and visit me, which made me feel great! While I was sitting in the lobby one of the nurses came out and gave everyone in the lobby including my mom and I a hug. It was great! About a half hour after arriving they called me back and the first thing they did was weigh me I was utterly mortified to find out my weight which I haven't known exactly for about 2 years and I weigh over 400 lets just put it that way. I was asked many questions by the nurse. Then the surgeon came in, Steven Poplawski M.D. This man had a great personality he was informative, and funny. Best of all he was understanding of my situation and seemed to genuniely care about my success with this. He answered every question I had honestly, and really gave me so much hope. He said because of my weight I would have to have the open RNY and laproscopic could only be done if I was to get down under 350 before surgery. If I could lose that much weight I wouldnt be in this situation. But I'm definatley going to try! After the surgeon was done explaining everything in detail a Patient Counselor came in her name is Melanie Forrester. She had actually had the surgery 7 years ago and she looked amazing, she even showed us her before picture. She went over specifics of the diet and things I should steer clear of. She was very sweet, and informative. I definately saw a pattern of caring people at the center. I have to have to see a cardiologist, a psychologist, have a pulmonary function test done, have my blood gases taken, also my sleep study before we can apply for approval. After this meeting I really feel that this is something that I can do, and I know that this is the beginning of a road that will change my life forever! I will update when more information is available! Good luck to everyone with their weight loss ventures!
****April 8,2004****
My cardiac clearance testing was today, I went and saw Dr. Mancini in Dearborn. Hes a great doctor and not to mention extremely attractive. They did an EKG and everything was normal, instead of doing a stress test they decided to to an Echo Cardiogram which basically is just an ultrasound of the heart. They had me undress and put on a gown that was way too small for me. Then they did the ultrasound and let me tell you it is very strange to see your heart beating on a screen. Dr. Mancini said that I have thickening around my heart caused by obstructive Sleep Apnea and that it can turn into heart disease if not taken care of which is why he was so happy that I am doing this. He gave me the clearance to have the surgery. Oh, by the way since my consult at the BTC I have been on a low carb, low fat, no sugar or caffeine diet and in exactly 1 week I lost 10lbs. I was floored when I got on the scale I am definately staying on this diet until surgery.
****April 13,2004****
Today I had my PFT done which is Pulmonary Function Testing which was at Annapolis Hospital in Wayne Michigan. They also drew my blood gases which (I am sorry but I am going to give it to you straight)was horrible. My friend Jeanie went with me and I squeezed her hand so hard she thought I may have broken some bones. My arm was sore for the rest of the day. The woman who performed the test was an african american woman in her early to mid 40's she was very nice. She led me into the pulmonary testing area where I was seated in a chair next to a machine. The machine had a tube attached with a mouth piece that reminded me of a mouth guard that you wear for sports. I had to bite down on the guard and do a number of tests to register my lung capacity and such. After doing that she gave me combivent an inhaled medication and I then performed several of the tests again. She said everything looked good and that the specialist would look over the results and get the info to my PCP and I am sure I will know as soon as it comes in due to the fact that my mother is a Nurse at the office. The people at Annapolis were very friendly, I even noticed after I left that I had left my wallet there and they had made several attempts to contact me. As for the diet, its going ok... I am noticing that I am having cravings for carbs like crazy! I have had a few here and there but I am trying to steer clear of them as best as I can. Over the weekend I went to hang out with my friend Robert and his mom had the surgery and I talked to her. She had the micro pouch at the Cori centers and she lost 175 in a year. I am beginning to wonder if I should explore my options and see which I am comfortable with. Saturday Morning I am going to a support group meeting at the BTC and I will post then about my experience.
****April 16,2004****
The support group meeting isn't until tomorrow but I have to update! Today I went with my friend Jeanie she was going to donate plasma which if you didn't know is the liquid portion of your blood. They pay you for your donation so I decided that I would also do it, when I went into the center they asked a lot of questions and then they asked me to step up on the scale and I was absolutely floored when I found out I have lost 30 lbs in the past 2 weeks!!! This is utterly amazing to me, my dad said the majority of it is water weight but I don't care I have never lost 30 lbs in my life, and even though it is a small amount of weight compared to the size I am... I am noticing a difference in the way my pants are fitting, they are not loose but just not as snug. Tomorrow morning I am going to the support group meeting at the BTC and my friend Jason is going with me he also is looking into getting the surgery. I am very excited in learning more about it.
****April 18,2004****
I went to the support group meeting yesterday at the BTC. I got up at 7:30am and picked up my friend Jason and we headed over there. When we walked into the meeting I noticed that almost everyone in there was on the smaller side. They had us sign in and take some pamphlets and information. Once about 20 people had arrived they started the meeting, every person there except us and one other lady were post-op. They went around telling their names and when they had surgery and how much weight they have lost. One woman who was there with her daughter, was telling of her great experience this week. She had fulfilled her lifelong dream of being able to shop in the same store as her daughter. She was down to a size 16 and she started getting teary eyed when she was talking. She told how much her life had dramatically changed since the surgery. It was very encouraging to see all the success they had. They talked about questions, and told of their weight loss struggles and issues and everyone was supportive and lent their suggestions. It was great to see everyone rooting eachother on I definately want to attend the support group meetings after my surgery. I am still on the diet, with a lot of difficulty I am finding myself craving bread. It has been a struggle. Oh by the way also at the meeting they told us that everyone needs to have a hobby... which I don't have one so I guess I will try to find a hobby. My sleep test is in 12 days, and my friend James told me that they are going to put sticky electrodes in my hair... not too excited about that but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
****April 29,2004****
Last night was my Sleep Study and it was quite a treat. I went to the Oakwood Sleep Center in Westland, I went in and the tech, Mike, had me watch a video on sleep apnea and how the test works. Afterwards I went into the small room that consisted of a bed, 2 night stands, a closet, a television, and a bathroom. He got me all hooked up and I literally had electrodes all over my body, even in my hair which was held in place with some sticky wax. I was not able to put my hair up, because of all the wires and I have longer hair and never sleep with it down. I had a lot of trouble trying to sleep. I was in a strange environment, with wires all over my body, and I was just all around uncomfortable. Mike came in and told me that if I didn't fall asleep that I would have to re-schedule for another time and I had waited like a month to get into that place. So I was frustrated to say the least. Finally around 3am I believe I was able to sleep. I was awakened at 6:15 Mike said that I had awoke over 20 times in the 3 hours from my sleep apnea. He said that I definately have it, and that my quality of sleep is very poor because of it. He said that the doctor will look over my results and he will let me know my method of treatment. What a night, I tell ya... and then I come home tonight only to find out that my dads human resources department sent a letter out which states that I am not elligible for insurance through them after my 23rd birthday. They said something about sending a COBRA packet... my mom said that is where I would have to pay additional to be on their insurance she didn't know the cost but she guessed somewhere in the ballpark of 200 a month. Which I am not working right now so that is discouraging. Today was my last final exam for this semester so I am going to just start looking for a job. Also I got a call from the BTC yesterday and they said that they had already applied for approval from my insurance company. The insurance company said they didn't have enough information to approve they wanted a psych eval, weight history of the past 5 years, and proof that I have been under physicians care for weight related issues and that I have been on a calorie restricted diet for at least 12 months. I don't know why they said that if I am not even on their insurance plan. I am extremely frustrated right now, what seemed right within my grasp seems so impossible to obtain. This is one of the times I feel like drowning my sorrows in a gallon of haggen-daas. Good thing I am a different person than I used to be, and when I am feeling upset I am able to surround myself with other activities to take my mind off of eating. Anyway I have to get this insurance situation squared away, and find someone who will do my psych evaluation that accepts my insurance (I am dually insured). I will update when I find out more.
****May 13,2004****
Ok so the results came back and I definately have Sleep Apnea, the doctor set a cpap trial for the 22nd... yay more wires and stuff. This time I am going to make sure that I am tired when I go so I have no problems falling asleep. My dads insurance sent out the COBRA packet and out of pocket the insurance would cost me 370.00 a month which is quite a chunk of change. I called around to different insurance companies locally to find out how much their individual plans are and I found a company where it is considerably cheaper. They are sending out the coverage information for me to review before I decide to go ahead with it. So I am waiting on that to come in the mail. My PCP wrote a wonderful letter reguarding all of my medical issues and her feelings on my necessity of the surgery. I am still working on the diet, I have been very good with a few exceptions here and there but I am eating very differently than I used to. I drink a lot of water, and I also love crystal lights raspberry iced tea. It has only 5 calories per serving and no carbs, also its a nice change from drinking water all day. I have been on a few different scales and none of them are remotely close to eachother I am beginning to think that its hard to get an accurate weight when you are this big. My friends and family tell me that I have lost obvious weight. My Dad told me that my face is looking thinner. My grandparents have made comments that they are very proud of me and that I look at least 50 lbs lighter. I don't know how true that is, but I have lost inches and my clothes are fitting better. I stopped exercising where I was because my free trial ran out and being unemployed I cannot afford to pay for the membership fee there. Currently I am searching for either an exercise I can do at home or another cheaper facility I can work out in. I have an XL glider in my basement its similar to the Tony Littles Gazelle freestyle Elite, But the machine makes the arches of my feet ache. I have extremely high arches in my feet so maybe that is the cause. So for now I will just continue the diet and wait for the information from the insurance company and when I find out more I will update.
****May 31, 2004****
Ok, so I got the information in the mail from the insurance company and they say that it will cost me 255.00 a month. My parents were not willing to pay this fee although by the grace of God it is going to be paid by my anonymous angels. The only thing I am worried about is that they are able to deny you for any reason they see fit and you have to put your current weight on the application. My guess is that when they see my weight they will deny me. I guess we are going to send the packet in though and wait and see what happens. My mom is able to chose her insurance carrier during open enrollment and one of the insurers is ohs care which she has. The other is M Care which has covered the surgery for others without problems. So if by some chance I do not get approved for the out of pocket insurance I will go ahead and try to get it under M Care. Also I went to the CPAP trial at the sleep center that was a week ago yesterday. That was a treat. Because of my problem with falling asleep the last time I only slept for 4 hours the night before the test. I got to the facility at 9pm but due to flooding of the area the technician did not get there until close to 930. He got me all hooked up and everything and he had me try a few different masks until I found one that fit somewhat comfortably. Not that any cpap mask is comfortable. (Note: this is not intended to discourage anyone in any way I am merely stating my personal opinions) He started the machine and to be quite honest I hated it from the very beginning. I felt like I was not getting enough air from the mask and he told me to keep my mouth shut. The wires were pulling on me, I was sweating, my room was very warm, and my stomach was starting to hurt. After tossing and turning for near 2 hours I asked the tech to come in and let me go to the bathroom. I did so and told him that my stomach was upset he let me lie down for a few without the mask and I was ready to pass out. Then he came in and hooked me back up and once again I tossed I turned, my stomach began hurting again, I was uncomfortable. After another 2 hours passed the Tech came in and asked me what the problem was I told him I was not feeling well and that I didn't like wearing the mask. He said that there was nothing he could do... at another facility he works for if a patient is having trouble falling asleep they give them a sleeping pill but at this facility they do not do that. So I told the tech that I would attempt to fall asleep for another hour and once again I tossed and turned. Finally at 4am the tech came in and I told him that I knew I was not going to be able to sleep despite my exhaustion. So we decided to just go ahead and end the test. At this point I am not sure if it is goign to be necessary for me to use a cpap machine before my surgery. I really don't want to at all. I will have to wait and see what happens. So at this point I just have to wait and see if I get the approval to be on that insurance. I am remaining on the diet for the most part. The other day I had a spell where I got really sweaty and my forehead was dripping, and I began to shake and tremble all over and my stomach was hurting really bad... I felt like I was going to get sick, and my heart was racing, I was feeling very lightheaded and dizzy it was strange. I do not know what it was from but I am going to talk to the doctor and when I find out what it was I will update I am wondering though if maybe it had something to do with my sugar levels. I remember when I was younger being friends with some diabetic twins and they used to get very dizzy and lightheaded when their sugar was down so I am not sure. But I will update when I get more information about my situation.
***December 26, 2004***
Wow it has been a long time, but here is the deal. No insurance would cover me to have this surgery. I have tried and tried to no end. I am at a loss and I feel like I am suffocating. Over the summer I lost around 50 lbs and I have gained it all back and then some. I have no idea what to do with myself at this point but I am tired of being fat. I had a dream last night that I was too fat to fit through the door at the mall which is far from true but that is what I fear will happen if I do not get some help. Anyone who has any advice or suggestions to get me back on track please email me. I want to start to diet again on January first but I do not know how to go about it. The low carb diet I was on made me very very sick and I cannot go back on a diet of this sort. So anyone who has advice or suggestions for me please let me know. Thank you very much.
***January 16, 2005***
About a week ago today I had a dream and it was a very real dream, I am sure we have all had them. I dreampt that I was at my grandma's house and she was very sick... which she has been for quite some time she has congestive heart failure. Anyway, I was at her house and she was very ill and my aunt had just come out of her bedroom where she was laying and I asked her how my grandma was doing. She told me that she was not doing well and that she would probably not make it. Then she looked me in the eye and said "Neither will you, if you don't do something about your weight." I recall being very frightened by this and I woke up dumbfounded. I thought maybe it was just because I had been thinking alot about my weight lately and left it at that. As the day went on I could not get this out of my mind. I decided to tell my mom about it, and I broke down in tears. I told my mom that I had to do something and that I could not just sit around waiting on this surgery that I am afraid will never happen. My mom seemed happy she never gets on me about my weight, but I know that she is worried about me. I told her that I wanted to join weight watchers but I was afraid to do it alone. She told me that she would do it with me, and that made me feel really good because I need someone to support me. We went to the local weight watchers center in Canton and everyone there was very nice. It only cost 20.00 to join and then I will pay 12.00 each week when I weigh in. We opted to buy the starter pack as well which came with an extensive dining out guide and list of foods and point values as well as a nice organizer for all of our weight watchers information and papers. I was nervous about weighing in because I had not weighed myself in quite some time and I was very afraid that I was way over the weight I was when I had gone to the BTC. I was quite shocked to see that I was not,I was still less than I was then but I had gained all of the weight back except 5 pounds. After weighing in we went and sat down for the meeting and then the Leader of the meeting Robert sat down with us afterwards and gave us a run down of the 2 different plan options. There was alot of information to read so I came home and read the papers and made a list of things I wanted to buy. I am telling you if you have not tried the Turnaround program from weight watchers you should give it a try before you opt to have weight loss surgery. I have been on the diet now for 5 days and I have not felt deprived in the least. In fact I am eating more than I was before the diet just different types of food. I can still have the "Bad stuff" just in small portions. I feel alot better and I have learned about reading labels. I definately can see why this diet works for people. Next thursday is the day that we go back and weigh in and I cannot wait to see if I have made any progress I will update when I find out more. If anyone has any questions feel free to email me. Bye, and good luck everyone with your weight loss ventures.
****May 27, 2005****
Okay so I did the weight watchers thing and I managed to lose about 20lbs in 4 months which at the size I am is practically nothing at all. So needless to say I gave up. I have since gained back the weight and then some. I have come to a point in my life where I am going to do this surgery once and for all. If I do not do it, I am afraid that I will just continue to gain until I cannot walk. I was walking around the mall with my mom the other day and it was so painful for me to get around that I went home and cried. I want to do this because I want to be around to have kids and grandkids. I am 24 years old and I have more medical issues than my parents put together and that is just not right. I am going to pay out of pocket for the surgery. Yes, I know it is very costly, but I am going to do it. Sitting waiting is getting me no where, and I just cannot sit back and watch my life pass me by any longer. I am ready to live. I contacted the CORI centers by email last week and talked to a woman on the phone a few days ago they said they are going to have a representative send out some information and call me. I have not heard from them yet but I am excited to do so. If anyone has paid out of pocket for the surgery please contact me and let me know about your experience and your costs. [email protected]. Thanks!!
****June 27,2005****
I heard from the patient care rep. with the CORI centers. I inquired about the financing that I heard about and she informed me that they have no financing available through the center and the only financing option would be if you financed through an outside source which is not an option for me based on my horrendous credit! She said that the surgery and the hospitalization is approximately $22,000, that is less than I thought she was going to say. She said that you do have to have the entire amount in full at the time of the procedure. Which means that I will be waiting for a few more months until my surgery. I have waited this long so what is a few more months? I have spent this past week moving which has taken a toll on my back which is killing me! Friday night I went to canada, which is only about 30 mins away from where I live, as a going away party for one of my best friends who is going to Mexico for a month. We were club hopping walking down the main strip when I heard a comment made by a girl sittin on a bench. She was sitting there with a guy when she leaned over and said "Oh my God, Look at how fat that ass is!" Honestly at that moment I wanted to go over and sock that girl in her face which I contemplated for a moment and then after the anger of the situation wore off I was really hurt. What would cause a person to be so cruel to say something like that so the person being insulted could obviously hear? Every person in the world should spend a DAY living the life we do. I do not think there is a single moment of my life that passes that I am not reminded of how overweight I am. People are so inconsiderate and rude. I think everyone should know what its like to be this way and then maybe they could have an ounce of compassion for those who are obese. Anyway, I just quit smoking 4 days ago and with the exception of a few cravings here and there I am doing pretty good. It is going to be hard though because my boyfriend smokes, who I have not seen since I quit. So that should be interesting. I am going to go back on a diet soon, so I can try to lose a few lbs., I am thinking maybe I should go back on atkins but I havent decided. I will update later!!! Take care ALL!!!
****September 4, 2005****
I just went back to school a few days ago, which I hate because the hike from the parking lot to my classes is like hell. I am so out of breath when I get there. I always feel like people are staring at me wherever I go saying to themselves "look at this fat girl." Although rarely do people ever comment, at least not so I can hear it. So a about three weeks ago I went for a routine eye exam at Vision Pro. The doctor was checking my eyes and told me that I have papilitis in my left eye. I was confused but he said that my ocular nerves were swollen and it could be caused by a number of things but one of them is a brain tumor. So, he sent me to an opthemoligist. I went and saw dr. Kleinfeldt in Livonia and he checked my eyes out and did some tests and said that what I have is pseudo tumoritis which is swelling of the ocular nerves, but he said that I needed to see a neurologist. Well, before I could get in to the neurologist I began having numbness in my tongue and my lips. After a few days the numbness spread to my chin my cheek and up the side of my face and my forehead and also my jaw began locking up randomly throughout the day. So, I went to see the neurologist who shall remain nameless at this time. He asked me many many questions some irrelevant to the situation. He checked in my eyes and said it was pseudo tumoritis and that I would have to have an MRI MRV and MRA just to make sure that its not a brain tumor. He said he thought that it may be due to my weight and that I needed to lose the weight otherwise the pressure will need to be released off my ocular nerves and they may have to go in and cut my eyes open and slice my ocular nerves to release pressure. I cringed as he said that and I told him about my plan of having the surgery, he said it was a very good idea. We proceeded out to the reception area where he wrote up the order for the testing. He handed me the papers and spoke very loudly so the waiting room and everyone in the office could hear and he said "Now when you schedule this make sure you tell them that you weigh XXX Pounds" and he actually said my weight outloud. My sister was standing next to me and I could feel her jaw drop without looking. One of my best friends Adri was in the lobby and I looked at her and saw her eyes grow big as if she was saying "Oh, No he didn't!" I was absolutely mortified. I just don't understand what the point was in saying my exact weight. He could have said tell them of your size or your weight problem. It was just so unnecessary for him to say the weight. Anyway, so the numbness and lockjaw continued to happen and my PCP (Primary Care Physician) Dr. King (whom I love to death, she is my favorite doctor ever) she told me that I should see my dentist because it sounded like possible TMJ which is a problem with your jaw joint. So I went to see my dentist Dr. Hayward in Plymouth and she asked lots of questions and felt around and she said I needed a Bite guard to wear when I was sleeping or just sitting around. She said that the guard will release pressure off of my jaw and make it so I can relax the joint. She took impressions of my mouth and made and appointment for me to come back in a week to get the guard. She said I needed to see and oral surgeon and I made the appointment and I go there on Sept. 21 or 22. So right now I am just in a holding pattern waiting to see what happens. I don't know I am hoping that the numbness and locking jaw are from the TMJ but I do not want to have to have surgery on my jaw. I am hoping that the Pseudo Tumoritis is from the weight and not something else going on. Things have been crazy lately. I broke up with my boyfriend we were together a year and I broke up with him on the day that we were celebrating our anniversary. I realized that he was not the one that I was supposed to marry and since I am getting to be 25 soon, I should not waste time with someone who is wrong for me when someone who is right might be looking too. He was always against me having this surgery. He never understood. So if any guys out there are single and looking ;) WINK
I am just kidding. I have gone 2 months and 11 days without a cigarette! I do not have any cravings except when I have had a few drinks then I feel like I need to smoke. One of my really good friends Kimmy sent me her pic I have not seen her in a few years since she first had her surgery because she moved to florida but she looks amazing. She started bigger than I am and she looks like a different person I am so proud of her and it makes me happy because I hope to have the success that she has had. For now I am just waiting on the money for my surgery to come I am hoping sometime before the trial date but we cannot say. I cannot discuss the situation further at this time because it is a pending lawsuit. Take care everyone I will update later.
****March 13, 2006****
Yes it has been a long time since I have updated. Lets see... I got a new insurance through my job Preferred Choices through Trinity Health its a ppo. I got that in January and I just started to look for a provider in network. This insurance says they will cover the surgery as long as it is proven medically necessary, but it will only be covered in network. CORI centers is out of network, I called BTC/Barix and they said that it should be covered but they want me to come in for a meeting or something so they scheduled me to come in today and 12:30. I have not gone yet, but I will update to tell what happened. The facial numbness and lockjaw has gone away, thank GOD! I am still cigarette free! I decided about a month and a half ago to go back on a diet which I did, I joined Ediets.com and I did their atkins program and had no success at all. I am still dieting and I have lost about 15 lbs and a few inches in my waist hips thighs and such. I joined Lifetime Fitness and I have been doing the treadmill and the recumbant bike, some weights also and it has been great for me... I feel very good after I work out. I purchased a high capacity scale also and for once I actually know what my weight is. I am hoping to have surgery over the summer, although I do not know if there is a waiting period for pre-existing conditions being that I have only had this insurance since January. I guess I will find out soon enough. So, I am going to go to this meeting and see what I can find out and I will update and let you know how it goes. Also, if anyone wants information on joining lifetime fitness, let me know, and I will give you the name of the girl who hooked me up. She is a former big girl... and is the reason I joined because she made me feel so welcome, so comfortable, and she will do the same for you. Feel free to email me [email protected].
****April 20, 2006****
On 3-25-06 I lost one of my very best friends. Jason Braun of Milan Michigan was a member on this site, and was also morbidly obese. He and I used to date, and we had been best friends for over 5 years. He had been struggling to have the surgery for the past 2 years while he was in and out of the hospital because of his heart, and cellulitis. Jason and I were a support system to eachother both dealing with the same issues and struggles. Jason was a wonderful person with a big heart. He left behind a son Jordan who is 7 years old. I have been trying to deal with the loss as best as I can but he was such a big part of my life that it is so hard. We used to talk about what we were going to do when we "Were Normal" again, meaning after we had the surgery and lost weight. We would talk about how we were going to travel, and live life again. I had a dream about a week after he passed, and in the dream I was going to a restarant, and his family was there and so was he, but it was like his spirit or something. I ran up to him and hugged him so tightly as I sobbed and I kissed him on the cheek and told him that I loved him and missed him. He told me that he loved me too. I looked at him crying and said "I promise you Jason, that I will accomplish what we set out to do, I promise that I will make you proud." I noticed that he was much skinnier and said "Look at me... I have no weight issue in heaven." That is when I woke up and the dream was so vivid and real. I just really felt as though it was a message letting me know that Jason is alright. Jason would be very happy for me today, my letter of approval was sent to the insurance company today and I am now waiting for approval. I hope and pray that it comes back quickly and that I am approved. I have been waiting hoping and praying for this surgery for so long now, I have tried everything in the book and I am just so ready to live life.
I went to a seminar last night at LivLite with my mom last night at Bi-County Hospital and the people there are so very nice. The surgeons seem wonderful and they had 4 former patients there and they all had such wonderful things to say and they were so successful I just cannot wait. I just want to get this done and over with so I can be on the path to my new life. I will update as soon as I hear if I am approved. Take care!
**** June 1, 2006 ****
Yesterday I called the insurance company because I had not heard wether or not my surgery was approved. So I talked to a lady in their customer service department and she informed me that they had come to a decision, and the letter had been sent although she could not tell me what the decision was. I figured that probably meant that I was not approved and that she just could not tell me that over the phone. Around 3:15pm I got a call from Susan Poplar at Liv-Lite and she informed me that I had been approved. I immediately began screaming and crying, all the years of hoping and waiting and trying have finally paid off. Finally after a lifetime of obesity I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have to see the surgeon before they can schedule my surgery date. So I am guessing that my surgery will be sometime in July. I am just so happy, and I cannot wait to be on the road to my new life. I will update with all changes. To those who are learning about the surgery, do not give up hope because miracles do come true.
**** July 9, 2006 ****
I had my consultation with Dr. Pesta, went well though he told me I have to have a filter placed in my artery to prevent a blood clots from traveling to my lungs its due to my high BMI. I had to have a Dobutamine Stress Test, that was fun. My case had to be presented to the board of the hospital for approval as well I am guessing because my bmi is so high that they have to be shown that I am able to handle the surgery and that I am able to mobilize afterwards. Anyway, the committee met last Thursday and I got a call telling me everything was good to go. So I made my appointment with the surgeon who is going to place my filter. My appointment is July 19, and my filter surgery will be July 20. From there my surgery will be about 7-10 days after that. I am a big ball of emotion, I am so excited, and nervous. This is something that always seemed so unattainable and now that its approaching its emotional. I just can't believe all the work that has gone into this and how glad I am that it has finally paid off that I can have the tool that is going to aid me in my quest for health, and a more normal lifestyle. I am sitting here sobbing right now as I listen to my boyfriend Dan snore.
I took before pictures and it was very difficult to view them after they had been taken. It is hard to see what I have become. I cannot wait to have them as just a distant memory of what I used to be.
****August 10, 2006****
Wow its been a while huh? I had the IVC vena cava filter surgery July 20th that was not too bad. I could not move my neck for 3 days but it could have been worse. My Open RNY surgery was one week ago today! I arrived at the hospital at 7am on August, 3rd and they took me back and began to prep me. I was slightly nervous but very excited. The guys who prepped me were so funny that it took the edge off. I remember them putting the IV in, and I slightly remember seeing my surgeon for a second and him telling me he would be back but I probably would not remember him being there. I remember one of the guys John holding me forward while I sat on the edge of the bed as they were putting my epidural in my spine, from what I can recall that was not terrible. I vaguely recall my mom and my boyfriend coming into the room and they were spraying my throat with some spray talking about preparing to intubate me. I remember them wheeling me into the OR and getting on the table. I remember a guy putting something metal down my throat and he removed it as soon as I began to gag. I remember him saying that I would not remember them intubating me and thats the last thing I recall. The next thing I knew I was waking up and I could sugar coat it and say it was not so bad, or that I was a little sore, but I will give it to you straight... I was in a LOT of pain when I woke up. I remember feeling very tight in my stomach area and having a quite annoying mouth and nose oxygen mask. I kept asking them if they would allow my mom to come back and I know I was told several times that I had to wait because of the privacy of other patients. Next thing I knew my mom and my boyfriend were on each side of me. I don't recall much but I recall being in severe pain and them being right by me. Finally they told me that my room was ready and they took me up. I remember being in my private room and being in pain. I remember my boyfriend and my mom one on each side, I was holding my boyfriends hand and gouging my moms arm because of the pain. The next thing I knew I woke up and I think the epidural had began to kick in and I did not feel horrible anymore. Everything was fine while I had the epidural in, still sore and everything but it was not so bad. I kept getting up and walking with my mom and my oxygen and it was very hard. I was so happy when they started giving me ice chips because my mouth had been so dry. I was even more excited when they started giving me popsicles, it felt so good going down and it was quite soothing. I came across one nurses aid that I fell in love with in the hospital her name was Maryanne, she was awesome. I was super itchy from the epidural and I was upset because my butt itched and I could not get it so she actually scratched my back and butt with both hands. She was such a sweet person I loved her. I did however encounter a nurses aid that was rude, and mean also I can't remember her name but my mom and I both almost told her to kiss our butts and not to come back. My mom stayed with me at the hospital until I finally got to go home saturday. The ride home was not so fun, but it could have been worse. So, I have been relaxing at home since surgery. I have been trying to take it easy but its hard. I have had a lot of drainage that has soaked my shirt and shorts a few times. Things were shaky the first few days but I am getting better. The gas pains have been horrible, but I just take it one day at a time and I am one week post-op and I will update more after I see the surgeon monday.
****September 2, 2006****
Okay so I have not been keeping up very well with the posts I apologize. As of last wednesday I am -36lbs. I have been doing pretty well with the exception of chewing the food well enough. Twice I have gotten things stuck in my throat which is so uncomfortable! I have not been working out as much as I should but I have been busy and I want to do the aerobics and my surgeon said not until I was 6 weeks out. I still do not really get the sensation of being full which is very strange. I have gotten nauseous several times and ran to the bathroom thinking I was going to get sick but after I sit there 2 minutes for so the feeling passes and I have not actually gotten sick. It is very weird because I can watch people eating the forbidden foods and it does not bother me but what does bother me is when I see people drinking pop or soda (as some people refer to it). I was a Pepsi FREAK! So it is difficult for me to see people drinking pop. I also have been craving salad, which I cannot have yet. It is difficult for me to get the protein in also because I am lazy and I make a huge mess with the blender and everything when I am mixing it. I have been trying though. I also have been trying to get in all the water that I should have daily. My clothes are starting to get looser and I do not want to purchase new ones that I am just going to grow out of. So I need to find someone who is losing to temporarily donate some clothes to me. Anyway, I will update soon with my progress. Feel free to e-mail me or contact me on Myspace.com if anyone has any comments or questions about anything! Thanks!
**** August 16, 2007 ****
I am so bad at keeping up, I am sorry! I am just over a year post-op now! I am down 170 lbs and I found out 3 weeks ago that I am pregnant. In reading my story I never brought up the fact that the guy I was with when I had my surgery and I broke up in December. He was not a bad guy, he took good care of me after my surgery but it was clear that our relationship was just not going anywhere and so I broke it off. I have been with Jerome since January and we are 13 weeks and 4 days pregnant, this is his second child and my first. So far I have had some crappy symptoms and felt awful most of the time, which sucks, but I think in the end it will be worth it. I still have 60 lbs to go to be at my personal goal, and I hope that after having the baby I can get there.
**** August 28, 2007 ****
What a sad, sad terrible week it has been. I suffered from a miscarriage on Aug 22 and its the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Here is the story:
Miscarriage Story
I will tell you exactly what happened to me. I got very sick, with terrible migraines. I thought I had a brain tumor or something because they were so very severe. I would have to be in bed for days at a time. One day my migraine was so severe I had to go to the Emergency Room. They decided to do a CAT scan and then they asked me if I was pregnant. I had taken a pregnancy test 2 weeks prior and it was negative, so I told them no. They did a urine test, and she came back with 2 positive pregnancy tests and told me I was. I was shocked! More shocked when they told me I was 10 weeks.
So, I got really excited and started making plans. I could not wait, because I honestly thought I was not fertile.
When I was about 11 weeks I began to spot, and the spotting led to bleeding. I was concerned and they kept telling me it was nothing to be concerned about. Over the next few weeks they did several ultrasounds telling me everything was fine.
When I was 14 weeks I woke up and went to the bathroom and I passed a clot that was the size of a baseball. I freaked out and called the OB they said to come and they would check the heart tones. They said the heart rate was perfect and sent me on my way. I went home and I laid down, when I got up I felt a gush and a huge clot literally fell out of me on to the bedroom floor and blood started to gush down my legs. I called the OB and they said to come immediately. I was leaking like a faucet at this point. They started the ultrasound and I could tell immediately that something was wrong. They had done 6 ultrasounds in 4 weeks at this point so I knew what it looked like, and it just looked different. The tech looked very serious. "Something is wrong isn't it?" I asked. She said that she hoped she was wrong but it looked like the baby was far down and my cervix was open. The doctor came and confirmed that I was in process of miscarriage. They admitted me to the hospital.
The bleeding subsided and the cramps stopped. The next day the doctor came and said my cervix had closed. It seemed like a miracle. Later that night the cramps came back times 20. At one point I could do nothing but lay there and scream, and I was losing so much blood. Finally the doctor came and said he wanted to do a ultrasound and he looked and said "I am sorry the baby has passed away". I could see there was no heartbeat. He said my body was going toxic and he had me in the Operating room for a D&C within 15 minutes. My temps were upwards of 104 at this point. Over the next 2 days they pumped me full of antibiotics and the temps returned to normal.
So here I am now, without my baby. My poor boyfriend just wants to do anything to make me smile but I cannot pretend that I am alright because I am not. I cannot think of anything but my baby. I feel so lost, and I do not know how to go on. I cry constantly. I cannot stand to see people with their babies and kids because it hurts me that I cannot be with mine. I feel so empty, not just emotionally but physically too. I am angry at my body for not holding the baby and protecting it the way it should. I want a baby so desperately but I am so afraid to consider trying again. I could not go through this again. I miss my baby angel and I do not think this pain will ever go away.
**** OCTOBER 5, 2007 ****I found out yesterday my baby was a girl. I wanted a girl so badly, and I completely broke down in the OBs office. We named her Kaitlyn Marie Navock, and strangely I feel much closer to her now that I know her sex and she has a name. Other than that things have been hard at times, but there are moments when I am doing alright with everything too. I love my baby girl with all of my heart and soul and nothing will ever change that, even if I am able to have a healthy baby one day it will not take away the love I feel for my first baby. Mommy misses you!
My weight loss has been crazy, I got on the scale and I had gained! Yes, can you believe I had gained a few lbs. For some reason I had been retaining a lot of water and my hands were very swollen. It was also my first cycle since my miscarriage so maybe that had something to do with it. At the OB yesterday my weight was pretty much back down to where it was before but I am still mid-cycle. I have been focusing more on eating more protein, I was slacking for a while there but I am giving it a good effort and I switched to a vitamin that I did the water test to and it was absorbable so I have been taking those. I tried riding my recumbent bike for the first time since my miscarriage and I rode it for about 9 miles and my legs were shaking so badly and I felt horrible the rest of the day. I wish I had gotten a treadmill instead. The bike is a Schwinn and it is almost brand new and cost 450 bucks! I hate to have an expensive piece of equipment sitting here that I cannot use. I wish I could find a workout buddy in the area who was wanting to work out with me. I am not the type that is comfortable going to work out on their own. We shall see what happens I guess. I want to lose another 55 lbs. I am getting discouraged thinking it might not happen though. *sigh*
