JustManda

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I'm so ready for my dramatic physical change , I feel like i havent been able to be myself for a long time. People know me as jokey and funny and maybe even annoying but i always act happy. And thats what it truly has been somedays an act.  Ok on that note im going to jump ahead to the point of my blog today. A few months ago i went to visit my niece and 3nephews at their moms house. And my niece the only girl much like i was the only girl has totally been playing the princess role she has been given from birth. I do not have any kids of my own and being that my brother has 4 kids i always over did for them thinking man he has four kids anything i can do would be a help. But my niece and nephews are brats up and down brats. They have had every luxury life can give . We are not rich people but a village of people (united by blood some call a family) who will  do anything to make every wimp of their dreams come true. I would get paid and easily go spend 200.00 or so a check on them. But my niece whom looks like everyone says ..well for a child she's so judgemental. When she was a  little baby she looked like me because she was fat i guess.. Now she's growing up and she's 5 shes slim and now people say she looks like my cousin and not me. But its cool.. About a month before surgery on this visit i was sitting on the couch and she came and said  "Manda how did you get so fat...why you eat so much" i was hurt and wanted to cry but i didnt say anything . That hurt tho i gave her so much  anything she wanted i gave. but she is a kid and i know kids have this honest innocence but i just felt she was cruel. I stayed a few minutes and then i left. I was wondering how are some kids so loving and sweet no matter what you look like and others just so hurtful?   Ok so here i am almost 2 weeks post opt. My brother brings his kids to the house he was just getting some mail. Its hot outside and my niece has the cutest little mini skirt on . I joke and say "Kayla soon im going to be wearing a mini skirt too" she looks and me and grins ...then when we o in the house she says... You cant have a mini skirt like this .. they dont make them that big .   I was shocked and hurt again. Man all i ever did was love and spoil this kid and she dont /cant love or respect me . As an adult or as her aunt. Now granted i told my mom this story and she laughed and thought it was just the funniest thing ever. But i had to come to sit in my room and relax because i wanted to say i hate a 5 year old. But i know that this surgery has given me a chance to be way more than anyone could imagine me being . And when im healthier and slimmer and rocking that mini skirt i hope my little niece see's all of herself in me. Its not that i need the approval of a child but im tired of being treated subhuman by any person of any age because of my weight. This is my time ..her little words still hurt ..cut deep like a knife but...  What God has for me it is for me. And I see the victory in what im going thru right now .
For anyone reading this blog i know i sound real stupid making a blog over what a 5year old said to me... Im 27 for God sakes but  i figured if someone close to you says this ...What does the world really think. I want to be human again. I want to love, I want to be loved, and Most of all  i want the world to see all i have to offer. I'm tired of Acting happy time to live it.. Leave your comments.. Correct Me..Scold Me.. Be Honest with Me.. its ok i can take it .. I was broken for a moment emotionally over this and i hope you all can see my view..  Take care

I just got me a scale from walmart ...YAY 7 more lbs gone

Hmm.. I feel great ive been home exactly a week as of today and things are going good. Almost so good i dont feel like i had surgery at all...until i notice i want that last bite of food and my pouch says..Dont you dare. Now id like to say i never noticed how much food was on tv until i started really watching it this week..OH MY GOSH it played a game with my mind for a day or too but now im ok..yeah So na nana boo boo . lol have a good 1

The drain is out and i just came from the Dr. from my  5 day (actually 6)day post op exam. Ive lost a total of 12 pounds this is the 1st victory ...Small but still great !!! No pain no Gas no worries..only thing is some times i lack energy, and its hard not knowing when to stop eating my mashed potatoes until i feel like i had thanksgiving dinner but im learning . I'll take this time and welcome myself to the "losers side" ..Take Care Be Blessed and Lived Blessed too. -  Manda

Just wanted to tell everyone i made it .. Im home ..In no Pain!!!!!!!! i took a lil bit of pain meds in the hospital but it made me so i stopped taking it and i feel great. The first night i was throwing up blood ..dark blood and that scared me but turns out it was fine it was just some blood stuck in my stomach after surgery.. Thanks for all your prayers and to everyone whom has not gone thru it .Man its not as hard as you think!!!  God bless

The hospital Just Called i have to be there @ 6.am for surgery I guess im 1st up to bat!!!

This is the hospital where i'll be its brand new i believe it Opened Maybe in FEB so yeah still wet paint i guess lol ...http://www.ashleyrivertower.com/

Can i really believe this? One Day away ... 24hrs... Sheesh im ready..lets do it!!

Read the title

I wanted to just make a blog thanking everyone for each and every kind word and piece of advice you havegiven me...Your words have inspired, uplifted and motivated me to be optimistic , patient, and just ready to truly endure what i am about to go through .  God Bless You all . Amanda


SCSunshine74 aka Angela : I love you for introducing me to this site, Your not just my coworker but your my friend, we will look back on this time in the years to come and smile i just know it . Im so glad i met you your a beautiful person and you will always hold a special place in my heart and in my life... A true friend and sister you are and i love you dearly

Kenyata: I stated this earlier in my profile , but thank you so very much . I was so down about my protein levels, you gave me advice and information so that i could pull them up, When they didnt come up right away you motivated me to continue doing all i could to work on it . I was so discouraged and you came along in the nick of time and  lifted me right back up. Emailing you is like talking to a friend ive known for years..
What more can i say but Thank you and Congrats on your continued Success on your journey your doing great!

Michele H: Your actually one of the biggest motivators for this blog lol ..Your probably think me ..   , you left me a short but breif message and it doesnt take alot all the time to be sweet and encourage someone  you told me to "be brave and Smile" how much better can it get then that? thank you Michele. i wish you the best

ChrissyGrits: We met at the Nutrition Class and i swear if angie hadnt noticed you had a company pen we would have been missing out on a wonderful woman. If anyone knows about some of the set backs of pre-op life its you and i Huh. We are going to be in the hospital on the same floor at the same time in pain.but in progress for our new lifes. Im glad we all met. I wish you the best and yes the count down is on 9 days to go!!!! Im excited and i know you are too.


WGriffin: Now this is going to sound super strange ... But I love you and your optimistic ways. If your not normally like this man oh man you fake it well you have to be the nicest person ive met on here. Just checking your profile i see that you have a date now Congrats my sister in Christ . He has made the way for us and we will rejoice in this chance and great oppurtunity for physical self improvement .  You were also the 1st person to make me feel like im not the ugliest person in the world by leaving me me 1st photo comment. I was wondering like jeez am i that bad people dont even leave a comment? haha you proved me wrong .. Thanks for everything youve said and every bad thought your kind words help me banish . Faith.Love.and Prayers for you June 7th ..Congrats

PopAndy: Hey their Mr.Harold all i can say is thank you ...you compliment me as i am everytime we chat or email .I dont hate who i am right now im just ready for improvements and im so blessed to know a person that can see the beauty in me now  before wls , thats not always easy to find . Your the sweest guy .Congrats on your date as well June 12th if memory serves me right . Take care congrats and remember you can depend on me .


Sassy Melv: . You sent me wishes and prayers for my date . In our short convo , you said you have a long way to go but we all do ma so be patient and the same way you prayed for me im praying for you my sister and  all we have to do now is sit back and watch this marvelous God of ours move and change thing for us. Anything i can do to help please dont hesitate to ask .

BoweryBetty: Can a simple thank you do? Probably not but what more can i say>>> your email warmed my heart in more ways then one,thought of my father, thoughts of a "textbook surgery"  Your awesome and man we need more people like you on earth. Your words have healing powers thanks..

Caliqt03- All i can say is i want to be like you when i grow up or grow down shall i say..lol your beautiful Mrs model. Thanks for adding me and the sweetest of emails . Keep in touch sista.


Im not done so if didnt thank you ..you have not been forgotten your on my mind and in my heart..I'll update this blog soon!