kathleenann

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well - it's almost my one year anniversary date.  The year went by so quickly!  Do I have any regrets about the surgery?  No!  I've not once regretted the choice - even when I had complications - even when I got sick to my stomach.  127 lbs lost and no regrets.

Things that I need to reconcile in my life:

Body image - now I feel too thin.  I worry that I look sick.  I don't like my saggy skin.  Most of this is mental and I need to change my thinking.

Comments from others - the most recent one came from my brother as we were saying goodbye after Christmas visits - "You look great!  By the way, I've enrolled you in the Cheesecake of the Month Club - don't lose any more weight"  This is just one example of the many back-handed compliments I receive.  I get self-conscious and worried when I hear them.  They distort my own body image.  They make me worry about my health - though the Dr. said I was in a good range.  I don't like these comments!

Things for which I'm grateful:

Health, family, friends (even when they make back-handed compliments), pets, job, nature...

There's a lot to be grateful for, not the least of which is my improved health - both mental and physical. 

I actually was given the gift of Christmas spirit this year!  I haven't had that in a long time.

I wish everyone health, happiness and positive support in the new year and in their weight loss journeys.  Don't hesitate to contact me.
 
Thank you for all of your support.  It has meant and continues to mean a lot to me.

I am now a size 6 - I can't believe it - a size 6!  My blood levels are all in the acceptable range though some are low.  No back aches, no feet swelling, no breathing issues.  I'm staying healthy overall.  My depression and anxiety have been under control many months now, which is great.  I still have bad days but not ones that knock me down for days at a time.

I know that being a size 6 doesn't really matter, but it amazes me.  I've started to get comments that I need to eat more.  I don't like that.  Believe me, I'm eating.  I hate to admit it, but I'm not always eating healthy food -  but I am getting my protein, my nutrients and my vitamins.

I feel good other than being a bit overwhelmed at work.  Made a salmon filet for dinner tonight that didn't agree with me but am having a good eating day otherwise.

I just keep thinking that I'm going to balloon up again.  I've spent so much money on clothes once I thought my weight had evened out - first at size 10, then at 8, then at 6...I will be too thin if I lose much more.  Some days I still feel fat.  Some days I feel too thin.  Some days I feel just right but have a great fear of going back to where I was.

I guess my head has to catch up with my body.

I am grateful for where I am - for my recovery from this surgery, for my weight loss, for my improved health and attitude.

I am very happy with my results.  My eating gets more and more 'normal' every day.  I'm a bit worried that I'm not eating enough - though today I'm sure I did.  When will things even out?  I met my original goal of losing 100 lbs a while back.  I then set a new goal of losing 120 lbs - and I've met that.

It's strange because now people are saying (o.k. - 2 people) that I need to gaing weight - I'm too skinny.  What's up with that?  In some ways I feel thin and in some ways I still feel fat - I guess that's my sick thinking kicking in.

On another note, I've lost weight in places I didn't really want to lose weight...enough said.

Things are good.  I'm happy and healthy.  I'm waiting on the results of another set of blood tests - but I'm not anticipating anything terrible.  I'm in shape, I feel better and I look better (though I know that's not the most important thing.

I don't want to lose touch with this support group just because I'm feeling better.

I'm deathly afraid of regaining.

Other than that, life is good.

School starts in 5 days and I've had to buy a whole new wardrobe - which is both good and bad.  I haven't been in a size 10 since before High School.

The anxiety of classes starting is a bit overwhelming and it's been difficult to stay focused on maintaining my diet.  Sometimes I don't get enough protein and I've had a few drinks - mostly wine.  I have been exercising a lot more, which is very good and which makes my dog, Hildegaard, happy and I do maintain my vitamin regimen.  I've ordered more protein shots and I have whey protein for shakes.  I'll have to plan my meals better as I begin this new schedule.

I think I'm nervous about going back to school as the 'new me' - I don't want to look anywhere near the way I used to look.  Plus, I think I'm stalled and I'm terrified of gaining any weight.  Have I hit my bottom weight or is it just a stall????
I'd like to lose at least another 10 lbs.

I guess I'm not sure where I go from here.

Labs came back and all is well except for a slight vitamin D deficiency (but it's much better than it was before surgery!).
I'm continuing to take folic acid for anemia.
Other than that - all is well!!!  No more fainting!

I've started running a bit - walking just isn't doing it.  I have too much energy.  I've been swimming more, too.

I hiked almost 7 miles today - up and down a mountain.  Boy, am I tired, but I'm proud, too.  I never could have done that a year ago.

I've lost about 105 pounds!   I'd like the weight loss to continue for a while longer - but haven't set a new goal beyond my 100 lbs.  Last time I checked I was still considered 'overweight' but not 'obese' - I wonder if I'm still on the 'overweight' side of the equation or if I've lost enough to be of 'average weight'.  I guess it doesn't matter as long as I'm feeling good - and I am!!!!

I'm almost 6 months out and I actually feel good about the way I look for the first time in many, many years.

I am 1.5 lbs away from my goal of losing 100 lbs!  I'm not sure how the weight loss will progress after 6 months.   I'd like to lose more weight, but I don't know what is a reasonable goal to set.  I'm going to have to give it some thought.   I certainly don't want to stop here!

I went for my 6 month appointment and the doc ordered some extra labs because of the amount of bruising I'm experiencing.  I've always bruised easily but my legs look like someone has beaten me.  We'll see what the lab results yield.

Fainted for the first time in my life about 2 weeks ago.  I'm rehearsing for a show and had to kneel for a long time and then get up quickly.  Well I did, and went down just as quickly.  The doc wasn't as concerned about that.

Now I just wish my hair would stop falling out - patience, patience.

All in all - I'm making good progress.  I'm almost into a size 10 - haven't been in that size since high school!!!

It's been a while since I've 'blogged' so here I am.

Current weight - 192 lbs - Onederland achieved (when I first got on this site I had no idea what 'onderland' meant).  Total loss since pre-op diet is 83 lbs.  There are still some issues.  I don't like the hair loss, though I expected it.  I still get sick once in a while.  I'm having trouble with anemia.  I need to exercise more (and I want to do so).  Other than those expected issues, things are going well.

I'm happy with my weight loss..

I'm happy that I'm actually looking forward to going to the beach this summer. (I bought a new bathing suit).

I'm happy that I'm no longer wearing plus sized clothing.  I actually enjoyed buying clothes for the summer.

I'm happy that when I flew to Mexico I was comfortable in the seat on the plane and actually had extra room in the seat belt.

I'm happy that I felt more confident about how I looked while I was working in Mexico.

I'm happy that my ankles and back don't hurt anymore.

I'm happy that I can cross my legs comfortably.

All in all - I'm happy with my progress!!!

I am ten weeks out as of yesterday and am doing well.  I'm down 50 lbs - halfway to goal!!!  I've been more active and have had an easier time with the eating.  I'm still having a tough time getting all my fluids in, though.  I get in maybe half of what I'm supposed to get.  I'm a singer and it affects my voice.  I have a concert in two and a half weeks and am concerned about that.  I'll keep working on it.

I'm so pleased about my weight loss and about starting to establish a regular routine of food and exercise!

When can I buy new clothes!!!!!  Not yet...I'll wait a bit longer.

Today I am 2 months post op and things are going quite well.  I have more energy and am feeling healthier.  I must admit, it's nice to fit into old (smaller) clothes and to get compliments on how I look.

I am now down about 42 lbs from my heaviest weight and down about 30 lbs since surgery.

Though I still have bad days where the food I eat may not agree with me or when I'm quite tired, overall I'm very happy and I'm feeling pretty good!  I look forward to continued success!

Heaviest weight - 275 - 1/11/09
Surgery Date weight - 262? - 1/20/09
Current weight - 241. 3/4/09
Weight loss - 34 lbs

I'm in a bit of a stall.  I haven't been able to get below 240 for about 2 weeks.  With the stricture I was taking in very little food and water and I had NO ENERGY.  I think my body just decided to shut down.  Now that the stricture's been taken care of I'm hoping that with an increase in exercise and an increased intake of food and protein that I'll start to lose again.

Dr. Hill doesn't seem concerned so I won't be, either.

I saw both the nutritionist and Dr. Hill yesterday.  He seemed pleased.  The nutritionist said I got off track with the stricture, which I knew.  I'm going to have to slowly work my way back towards solid foods.  I tried a scrambled egg for breakfast today and it did not agree with me.  I think I got down two bites and then had to stop.  The nutritionist also said no soups.  Soups were one of the few things I could tolerate.  I understand why, it is mixing liquid and solid and she wants me moving toward solid food.  Oh well.

So - slow and steady wins the race, right?