katie42582

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I feel like my story is not un-like millions of other people's stories...When you're fat, you're not living you're existing. That's what I

ve been doing for the last 10 years. I have had problems with food ever since I was little. I was always chubby as a kid and was put on my first diet at 9 or 10. I remember when my younger brother would eat something "bad" and I say "I want that" and my mom would respond "that's not for you, you can't eat that. You can have anything you want---as long as it's on this list." She was heavy herself and shewould always say "Promise me you won't be like me when you grow up."  Nice huh?

So from the beginning I learned that being fat was "bad" "nasty" "unacceptable" (*insert any negative adjective here*) and felt deprived of the foods I really liked from a very early age. This of course only made me want them MORE. And at family gatherings I would get so embarrassed because EVERYONE would get a second helping of dinner, or a second piece of pie...Not me...and God help me if I ask for one. "You don't need that" was the usual response. And when we DID eat pie? Everyone knew which slice was mine because it was always the smallest one. So what did I do? I would wait for my parents to go to sleep and sneak food. And when I got my driver's license and started earning my own money,  I would go and buy junk food and hide it in my room (chocolate was my favorite...cookies a close second....ice cream would have been my first choice, but you know, that's hard to hide in a bedroom). So my relationship with food was always rocky.

In highschool I lost 70 pounds! I weighed 155!!! But then gained it ALL back plus 20 more in college. Then in 2004 I lost 50 pounds...gained it all back. In 2006 I was diagnosed with pre-hypertension...to be 24 and have high blood pressure??? NO WAY. So I lost almost 80 pounds!!!! 80!!!! I'll give you two guesses what happened (you'll only need one). That's right, I am 12 pounds from re-gaining ALL of it.  So no more!!! It's time to lose the weight and KEEP IT OFF FOR MORE THAN A YEAR! That's where the lap band can help.

I want to be able to go into a normal clothing store and buy something off the rack. My ultimate goal would be to wear a single digit size but I won't get ahead of myself...I want to be able to participate in activities and not feel so exhausted that I just want to sit like a lard-ass and sleep all the time or watch tv or whatever. I want to go horseback riding, rollerblading, ice skating, walking, jogging, you name it!!!! I want to feel good about myself. I want to feel sexy, hot, desirable...I want guys to see the beauty on the outside that I've always had on the inside. I want to walk into a room and have people notice me because I'm HOT--not because I'm the biggest one in the room. I want to be healthy and avoid all the co-morbidities that obesity curses you with. And I just want to be happy with life and who I am!

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