Is this really my life??

Jan 12, 2012

I have not written a blog in months. I have had sucess in weightloss, in love  and at work , but my relationship with my mother can be described in one way only FAIL!!!!!  It seems like the happier I get the less happy for me she gets.

Well let me catch you all up on the Reality TV show which has become my life! Get comfy I have some great material! 
SInce my last post in June I have lost over 100 LBS I started off wearing a size 24 (if it had lots of elastine) and I currently wear a 16. With each dress size a new issue arose.

Size 22 8/01/20111-  So I was feeling great excited to be in a size 22 which was the smallest I ever remeber being.. the man that was so supportive of my surgery decided that he did not want to be with the shrinking me that he liked the fuller e and was not interested on contnuing this journey with me, which was fine and understandable. AT a size 22 I fe;t great I was gaining confidence and realized I didnt really like him all that much and that I might of been settleing.

Size 20 9/1/2011- at size 20 I realize even though I cant see it for my self that I am still shrinking and I feel great. I was feeling a little lonley , like I needed some male companionship so I joined a free online dating sit and I meet the most attractive mn in the world ( I mean at least to me)! He was in the process of moving from Atlanta to Maryland where he had just gotten a job at the DC Convention Center on 7th street. I loved his southern accent , his style and his tattoos (they were  soo sexy) he almost imediately claimed me as girl. The first day he arrived to Maryland I saw him where he was staying with his cousin and his cousin's wife and we had a great time it took about 4 weeks for me to feel comfortable enough with my body to sleep with him....and I did ..... and thats the end of that chapter ! because that was the end of us! I felt used and stupid! Already going through alot emotionally now rejection was somthing else I had to deal with along with my mothers incresing attitude about me spending Saturday nights out (Granted I was comming in at midnight and Im 25.... but I do understand I am residing in her home but seriouslly!!!) her main arguement was "You think you can lose weight and run the streets while living in my house like some bitch in heat"  Wow.. is that how you feel the she continues on a tangent about how when I was sitting my fat ass in the room eating Ice Cream I wasnt thinking about friends... now this hurts my feelings to a point that I cant even describe... She claims to be soo supportive but always calls me names and throws my old eating habbits which she condoned because I was a size 22 in the 8th grade in my face!!! how dare you make fun of me!!! and make me feel like shit when Im trying to do better!!!!!

Size 18 11/1/2011- So Im still fooling around on this silly free dating site and I get this message "202-***-****  Call me" so I reply "Wow seriously, I am not calling you, You didnt even leave me a name and you could be crazy" he responds "sorry, but when I see something I like I go for it, Im deleting my account, hopefully you call if not this site was a complete waste, By the way my name is Monte.... days go by and Im still thinking about this cocky man that just sent me his number like he knew I was going to call, I log back on and noticed he really did delete his account, so out of boredom (or at least thats what Im calling it) I Text him, we talk ... the convo is great he tells me he works at the DC convention center.... WHAT~!~~ oh no... So I mentioned that I dated someone that worked there his responce was I dont care... then he asked who and he informs me that that is his employee... LOL we meet we spen time and he makes me soo Happy 

Size 16 12/1/2011- He is still making me smile, we cuddle all the time and any minute that I can get away I go see him... I am a leo he is a Virgo we are not supposed to get along this well.. we make plans for NYE in Atlantic City together... me and my mom are getting worse and worse... My mom's rage and anger towards me turns physical and at 25 years old I am way to old to be ghetting punched in my face by my mother...At this point she cant stand the sight of me and rtell me I MUST LEAVE BY THE END OF FEB!!!!! what is wrong with this woman it seemed like she was at her happiest when I was at my worst, now Im dating and enjoying life and its like she hates me, she tried to put me on a 11pm curfew, has kicked me out all because I ask for one night a week to go out with friends (Monte). No matter what I say to her it ends up in an arguement and my poor step father seems to be stuck in the middle! he is frustrated, I am frustrated I talk to him and tell him about my home life issues, he has always been frustrated because as soon as we get comfortable I have to leave so I can make curfew (He asked to check my ID, to verify my age)  he cheers me up everytime!
     NYE we had a blast we danced, he gave me the biggest kiss at midnight, it was soo memorable but what was the best part was when he said "I want you to be happy like this forever, please leave that miserable place and come stay with me"  I just about melted, but in the back of my mind I was thinking of how many ways this could go bad but I could only say "Yes" so brings us pretty much up to date this weekend he will be accompanying me to Richmond on a work trip and next weekend I will be moving in  I cant lie ... I am so Terrified!


I know there are endless amounts of typos...sorry typed it real quick at work!

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