kbb0185

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Man, what a whirlwind it's been.  I started this journey on April 9th of this year, and here I am July 25th 9 days post op!  I had been thinking about it/researching for much longer than that, but it did happen quickly once I got the ball rolling!  It has been a physical and emotional journey so far.  I lost 26 lbs on the pre-op liquid diet, which I was thrilled with.  I gained 7 at the hospital, and have lost that plus and additional 15 since surgery, bringing me to a grand total of 41!  Wooohoooo!  I am almost out of the threes!

I have started adding foods back in since two days ago.  Yogurt, cottage cheese, pudding, soups.  I can have scrambled eggs but I have heard people struggling with this, so I have put it off.  I may try it for breakfast tomorrow.  I have been at a stall since I started adding food back in, which I think is to be expected.  I am following my surgeon's guidelines to a T, and have been walking 1/2-1 mile per day.  I think I need to just keep trekking on and I will see results again.

Since starting the liquid diet, I have found myself forced to find other things I like to do other than eating.  I mentally miss binge eating a lot at times, and find myself temporarily depressed about it, but for the most part I have felt extremely happy since surgery, lots of energy, way more than before.  I struggle with doing too much.  I took my daughter shopping today, and then we went to grab milk and dinner for her and hubby.  I walked the milk and dinner to the car, across the parking lot, and it felt like mroe than ten pounds (that is my surgeon's guideline).  I got really worried that I was doing too much.

I am going to take this time off of work and my normal crazy hectic schedule to re-discover myself.  Unable to binge on food, or relax with glasses of wine, I have found myself going to the beach, reading, getting mani/pedis, shopping, and just spending time with my family and dogs.  I want to make another blog of my bucket list items, and also make a list of things I enjoy doing that are not eating, so that I can refer back to it.  Today I took my daughter on a 1/2 mile walk with me around the lake.  She LOVED it.  It was so wonderful.  I want her to have memories of being active with her Mom, and that our fun does not revolve around eating.  Tomorrow we are going to the beach with my Mom for the day, and then we have two parties in the afternoon.  I'm not sure I'll make both of them, but it will be interesting to see how I do there.  I am afraid to deviate from any of the foods my surgeon listed for now, so I will be drinking water and eating before I go.

Slowly it seems like EVERYONE is finding out.  Family of friends that I have told, my inlaws friends, my husbands friends, you name it.  I should have expected that would happen.  I don't really know how I feel about it to be honest.  I don't want a million eyes on me on this journey, I want it to be my journey.  But I guess I am forced to be public about it!  Which is OK too.  Obviously I am not at the point of being asked questions yet, so I have not had to deal with that, but I cannot picture myself lying about it.  I found myself telling my dentist's assistant the other day!  It just came out, I don't know why or how.  LOL.  So, I guess it i what it is!

Will write more soon, just wanted to get some of my thoughts out tonight :)

Well I am one week away from surgery.  The liquid diet SUCCKKKS.  But I have not cheated once and I'm down 18 lbs, so yay!  I am getting super anxious and nervous about the surgery, and really trying not to think about the actual surgery part of it.  I am super eager to be on the other side of this.  Right now I am wrapping up work, and getting ready to be out for 4-5 weeks.  My boss has been super supportive, I am so lucky.

I get to work at 7, and have a protein shake on the ride in, then another one around 10/11, and then I try to wait until 2 or 3 for the last one.  Then I go home and have a lean cuisine.  My favorite is the meatloaf, which is funny because that would never have been my first choice pre-liquid diet.  I always go for the pizzas and the carbs.  I had a lean cuisine pizza last night and it was NOT satisfying.  Now I just want protein for my one meal.

I cannot wait to be at the beach next summer.  I want to spend everyday there if I can.  I am too ashamed to go this year, and I hate that because I feel like my two year old daughter is deprived :(  But I am doing this for that very reason, to do everything with her that she deserves to experience.  I can't wait for the future!

I got the call yesterday from the hospital.  My surgery date is July 15th at noon, arriving at the hospital for 10am.  I start my pre-op diet on July 1, which is literally the first day of the second half of 2014.  For some reason I like that!  I have been going to therapy every two weeks since I started this process in April, and plan to continue.  It has helped a lot so far, and I enjoy going.

It has all happened so fast.  The office staff and my surgeon have been wonderful, and totally taken my nerves out of the surgery itself.  I am more concerned with making the lifestyle changes I need to and keeping to a healthy weight for the rest of my life.  That is the ultimate goal here.  I have decided to just trust my decision with my surgeon and the Center of Excellence I am with, and go with the process.

I have worked out coverage at work, and family to watch my two year old daughter while I am in surgery and a couple days after, depending on what is necessary when I get there.  

I am so excited for my life to change for the better, and to be given this tool to get myself to look like I feel, be a great role model for my daughter, and start living the active lifestyle I crave so much.  I can't wait to get back into swimming, to run around in the yard with my daughter without my back killing, to get off the damn couch.  It is time, and I know it is right.

My surgeon's office called me earlier this week and told me that I only need 2 NUT visits instead of 6, woohoo!  And I've done everything but the endoscopy, which they've scheduled for me on the 28th of May.  After that I should be able to schedule surgery.  It is just crazy how fast this is all going.  I am so ready and excited, for something to actually work permanently in my life.  I am determined to make the lifestyle changes I need to.

I have been going through a bit of food mourning, wanting to binge on things I know I won't be able to eat after surgery.  I decided this week that I really want to reign that in, and change my mindframe to the diligence I will need after surgery and forever.  Each and every pound counts towards getting me towards my goal.  My worst time is in the morning, I always want the flavored lattes and munchkins or a bagel or something equally as bad.  I could care less about dinner, and have actually had protein shakes for dinner the past two nights and been very satisfied.  I bought the Target brand chocolate protein powder, and I mix that with 2 tbsp of PB and almond milk.  It is delicious!  I am going to try and start doing that for breakfast, and not even going to Dunkin Donuts in the morning.  I bring my two year old to daycare on my way to work, and every time we go to Dunkin she screams "munchkinnnnnns." In the past I have been happy to get the minimum of 5 you can get, give her one and eat the other four myself.  I think if I eliminate the temptation altogether and do a protein shake instead that will help me a lot!  Too bad it is right around the corner of my house!

I'm also trying to start thinking about exercise, and what I want to do post-op.  I am debating between joining a gym or buying a treadmill and putting it in my living room so I feel guilty every time I sit on the couch! :)  Working full time with a two year old, a husband, and two dogs does not leave much time for the gym, but if I decided to do it I would probably do a few mornings a week before work....

I went to the informational seminar on April 9th, with Dr Giovanni and Dr Pohl.  My mom came with me.  I couldn't believe how many people were there!  We were a couple minutes late and had trouble even finding a seat!  And I did a complete 180 at the seminar.  I was all for the sleeve going in and pretty set on Dr Pohl.  I came out of that seminar wanting Dr Giovanni and the bypass, for a few reasons;

-I have existing reflux

-I have 160 lbs I would like to loose

-I like the possibility of dumping, I know it doesn't happen to everyone but hoping it happens to me in a weird way, to curve the sugar cravings.

-Originally I was thinking the sleeve was less invasive, but I came out placing them pretty much equal

-The bypass has much more longevity.  I just personally like the idea that there are people 10+ years out that have had the procedure done.

Those are most of my reasons.  So far I have had the gall bladder ultrasound, the psych eval, the nutritionist appointment, and am meeting with Dr Giovanni next Thursday!  I am excited!  And nervous, and slightly freaking out.  I know this is the right choice for me.  I have been overweight since I was eight years old, and tried every fad diet in the book.   Now that I have a beautiful two year old little girl, I want to be a role model for her and teach her the right lifestyle so she doesn't have to go through some of the horrible things I went through.

I am hoping Dr Giovanni is impressed with how much I have gotten done so far.  I have two more nutrition classes booked, and I believe my insurance company requires six months, but I have been doing Weight Watchers since December, so she said I could probably get my PCP to write a letter stating I have been working on weight loss, and that may suffice.  My PCP is all for the procedure, so I think he will do everything he can to help me out.

Thats all for now!  Sitting at work right now waiting for 4:30!!!!