Tami B.

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So, Thanksgiving and all the irresponsible eating I have been doing hasn't "killed" me as of yet, but it's time to reel it in before it does.  I'm right now at the weight I always found myself creeping back up to when I'd blow my diet for one day, and it's manageable, I'm not too freaked out by it.  But hear's the funny thing, I can't remember how I ate before when I was losing weight?  I can only remember the protein diet, protein drinks all day and a small meal at dinner.  Weird huh?  Gotta bust out my Atkins book from Suzanne and figure out how to do this again!

Wow, I can't believe it was 42 years ago today I was born.  The thought alone makes me feel so damn old!  I didn't do too bad over the Thanksgiving holiday, gained three pounds in the past two weeks.  Today I am going back on my strict diet, although my office is taking me out to lunch at an italian restaurant, but I'm gonna be good and order something safe.  So let's hope I can get back to the losing end of this weight battle now!  Happy birthday to me!

Okay, well we had our lunch at Tahoe Joe's this past Sunday.  23 people said they'd be there, 10 came and that's counting my sister.  So, since Kaiser told me I can't have my psych eval till January 4th, I've kind of been in WTF mode with my eating, why starve myself now, they are 350 people deep waiting for surgery.  Well this morning I step on the scale, scared to death of what I'm going to see and it's only up 1.8 pounds!  I've been not majorly dieting, but still using common sense and I guess it saved my @$$ cause it's not as bad as I was thinking!  Okay, I'm doing Thanksgiving, I didn't want to, wanted to volunteer at our local homeless shelter, but found out I didn't "sign" up in time, so that's out.  So, I'm cooking.  Gonna make a horseradish, garlic, rosemary and salt crusted prime rib instead of turkey.  Better be good cause I spent $76.00 on the prime rib alone!  Should be good though, gonna have a lot of family over, accept my oldest daughter and grandkids, her husband is "pissed" off at us for the most stupid reason known to man so she can't come over.  UPDATED NOTE:  I'm very glad I did not donate at a homeless shelter this year and cooked, it was the way God meant it to be because this was the last day I saw my brother alive, the very last holiday we spent together, and the last time I spoke to him. To those of you who don't think things happen for a reason, you better think again.....or you may live to regret it, like I almost did.

Okay, Monday came and went without a hitch.  I did eat a small slice of turkey breast my husband had cooked for himself on Monday night.  But that's it.  AND when I got up and weighed this morning, I'm down 4, that's right, 4 pounds!  I know I picked up  alot of water from my blowing it this weekend, but I was happy to see it wasn't going to take all week to lose the water like it usually does.  I quit the depo shot too, I wonder if this is making it easier to lose also??

I've decided that on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of this coming week, I'm gonna do a protein drink fast.  For three days, I'm going to consume nothing but protein drinks and water.  I'd like to call for my surgery date this coming week, and I think this will be the boost I need to get me over the top.  Hell, by the time 6:00 PM rolls around anyway, I've been hungry for so long that the hunger actually goes away, and I've heard that after the first day, the rest are down hill.  So lets see what kind of numbers I can pull with that.

Well, I've called for my psych eval, need I say any more?  And 5 more pounds I'll be calling for my surgery date!  Praise God!  Thank you again Suzanne for telling me about this starvation diet!  LOL!  Not really, but it does work and I have no one but her to thank for it!

Since starting the liquid diet two days ago, I've lost 1.6 pounds.  It's working!  I'm so excited, finally something is making the scale drop again.  Not sure what the plateau and even gain was about, just know I don't ever want that to happen again.  As a very sweet person said to me in an email this morning, this is a temporary situation to get me into the operating room, I won't be eating like this for the rest of my life, it's to achieve the goal!  And I can live with that!

Thanks to Suzanne.  She met me for lunch on Tuesday, and told me how she lost a lot of weight on a liquid type diet.  4 small protein drinks a day, and a dinner that consists of 2 oz of chicken and a salad.  I'm so desperate, I'll try anything.  So I've plunked down $60.00 for my first week of protein drinks.  God please pray this works and I can stick with it...I can't handle another failure.  Thank you Suzanne for all you are, I love you to pieces!

The feeling of a knife being twisted in your stomach when you see an unjustified weight gain is overwhelming.  The automatic tears that you can't turn off, unbearable.  I think I'll just go on a hunger strike until the last NOW 14lbs come off, screw food, who the f*ck needs it!  I hate Kaiser for making me lose this 25lbs with Graves disease!  I hate my life right now......I hate being in a dark place like this...why won't this weight just come off?

Today, 231.6  Weight fluctuates too stinkin' much!   But I'm finally past the 232 hurdle.  That was a hard plateau to break I'll tell ya!