kelly_hope

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Nearly 10 months out. 
Stats:
Weight: 194lbs, total loss so far of 94lbs!! Happy me.
Size: Jeans:16 regular - not plus size anymore!!
Shirts: 14 or medium
Ring size: Used to be 9, now is 7.
Shoes: Used to be 8.5, now 7.5

I bought a jacket that is a size large, got it in the misses section. No more plus size for me!! In Fashion Bug, the clothes store I always go to, there are two sections, plus and misses. I've been in the plus section for over ten years. I have now graduated to the misses section! It was truly an exciting moment. I nearly cried.
The hair loss has completely stopped, which is good. I ended up cutting it all off a while ago because there was so much missing. But the timing was great and now it's growing out and it's much thicker than it was.
Loose skin remains problem. I could fit a size 14 jean if I didn't have so much loose skin on my stomach/thighs. I can't wait for my tummy tuck. I want to wait til I'm around 150-160 before I pursue it. I want it to be the last stretch of my weight loss.
The feeling of sitting like a lady or fitting in any chair or sitting on my hubby's lap, it's been amazing. It's a whole new way of living and I love it.
My vitamin levels are all great, I haven't had any problems at all. I can eat anything, though I'm being careful what I put in my body.
Life has been sucking pretty bad for me lately and the stress has caused me to stop eating. I live on coffee and Crystal Light. I lost ten pounds in a week. I had gained a few pounds because I wasn't being careful. Then when the stress hit, all of it and more came off.  

 Stats:
-72lbs
Size 28 - Size 18 (shirts and pants)
Inches lost: unknown

I've begun counting my weight loss from my highest weight of 288lbs simply because I hit that within a month of my wls. I worked for that 14lbs just as much as I've fought for every pound since then. 

Knowing I've lost the equivelant of a 7 year old child is quite staggering. I have NEVER lost this much weight before. 

In 2lbs I will be exactly halfway through my weight loss. Wowzers.

It's all crazy.

I had back surgery about 2 1/2 weeks ago. It was a breeze compared to the RNY. Seriously. I would rather go through the back surgery ten times then do the RNY again. EXCEPT for the affects of the surgery. Losing 72lbs is so worth it. I would continue on with the back pain for the rest of my life if I had to choose between the two. 

Prior to the back surgery I'd been in a weight loss stall for well over two weeks. Since the surgery, I've been losing quite a bit. I was stuck at 222 for a while and now I'm at 216 within a week. (Plus, TOM came to visit, so the fact that I'm losing astounds me!) I'm entering the range of the lowest weight of my known adult life. I also know that coffee is part of the reason I've been losing is I've been drinking a lot of coffee. Eggnog lattees came out and I can't resist. It's the first time I have knowingly and uncaringly broken the rules.

Due to the surgery, exercise is a no go for me. The doc says walking isn't exactly necessary, unless it's to the bathroom. Makes for a boring life. I've been crocheting and knitting a lot. Yawn.

All of my clothes are almost unwearable now. Yay! It's been helpful with having loose clothes after back surgery though. 

I just don't know when to get rid of everything! I'm stuck. When do you / can you accept the changes that have happened to your body and get rid of all of the old, loose clothes? I already have a whole pile of stuff that I can't even keep on my body anymore.

That's my life right now. I am 17lbs away from ONEderland and I can't wait. I'm getting a mani-pedi on the day of. That will be my reward. Wow. Onederland. It's not that far away. I should be there by Christmas. I'm hoping by Thanksgiving. Really hoping. 

Stats:
42lbs down (56lbs since beginning of journey)
26.75 inches lost
From size 3XL to XL

Hair loss
Loose skin

I am learning how to live this new life. I realize I still have to watch the carbs.. I think that is why I've been stalling a bit lately. I lost 2lbs today after two weeks of nothing. I know I've had a bit too much in the carb department.

People say you lose the most in the first six months and I'm worried that my window is closed already. I'm concentrating on protein and vitamins and trying to get some exercise in. It's hard. I'm dealing with a lot of back pain right now.

Back surgery is scheduled for October 4th. Just over a month away. I'm scared of that surgery. There are so many risks to it and issues with healing. I've had this same surgery before and I was out of it for 8 weeks. The surgeon even tells me it will be 6 weeks before I feel human again. No exercise for several months. I'm sooo worried about gaining weight. I will have to be super diligent about what I eat. Then there's the risks of nerve and muscle damage. Ugh. BUT. If it works, I will really have a new life. I will be able to exercise and enjoy life like a normal person. That thought is what keeps me going.

I got my 3 month labs back and for the most part things are looking good. All of my vitamin levels are in the good range. Vitamin A is on the low end of the acceptable range, but it's not low enough to need any extra supplements. My triglycerides are high and my good cholesterol is low. Bad cholesterol and overall cholesterol is good, so thats a plus. But I need to cut out bad fats and eat more fish to help those other two. My liver enzymes are up, but that happens with me sometimes. I am not overly concerned about that. I think once I have the surgery and heal from it and am able to get off all the pain meds, my liver and kidneys will be much happier.

I have a lot of loose skin already and have made best friends with my shapewear. It sucks it all in and keeps it in place and makes me look pretty good. I like it. I get compliments a lot which is hard to deal with, but so nice at the same time.

Overall, life is painful but good. After back surgery I'll be able to really start living. 

STATS:
35lbs down (49lbs since beginning of journey)
22 inches lost
From size 28 to very loose 20 pants
From size 26/28 to 18/20 tops
Ring finger from size 9 to size 7.5

I'm feel great. Have tons of energy. I've started working out which helps with the loose skin, which I do have some of.

I'm working on strengthening my core because I'm going to be having back surgery at the end of the year.

I haven't had any problems with food. My pouch doesn't like peanut butter, it aches a bit, so I avoid it unless it's in a shake.

I eat about 4 times a day and realllly try to get in as much protein as possible. I can always do better in this area, as well as liquids. Vitamins aren't a problem and I get plenty of them in, which we'll see when I have my blood tests done next month.

All in all, things are going great!! I only have 99lbs more to lose, which is amazing to me. 

Love and peace people!

 I am loving the energy I have now. I was out weeding for hours the other day and I felt wonderful afterwards. I even enjoyed the sore muscles the following days. 

I like that my clothes are fitting almost too loose. 
I like that I can see physical changes in my body.

But I am so disheartened that I haven't lost any weight! A week ago I lost 2lbs and I was so sure the stall was over. Since then... nothing. Whether it qualifies as a stall or not, to me it is. I am frustrated, sad, worried. My NUT said "Didn't I warn you about this?" Yes, she did, but she didn't tell me that it would last two full weeks (2lbs not withstanding) with no sign of an end in sight. Just hold on, she says. It'll pass. Yeah but meanwhile I get to feel the all-too-familiar feeling of diet failure that I've felt all my life. 

I'm just venting. I'm sure most who have experienced a stall of any sort have felt the frustration and wondered if they had blew their chances with this surgery. I've heard some say they've been stalled for 3, 4, 5 weeks. I don't know how they do it. How they keep their sanity.

Surgery pain wise, I am fine now. All healed up. I have the occasional twinge on my left side. Other then that, nothing. 

My back pain is back full force... or at least it has risen to the surface, no longer overtaken by the stomach pain. Doc is pushing for me to have back surgery soon. I asked her to give me six months. So, around November I guess. Maybe, just maybe. If I can deal with the pain well enough it can wait until after the holidays. I hope.

 The scale is moving again. Thank God. An entire week with no loss was really starting to get me down. Not to mention when I took my measurements, it wasn't as much as I'd hoped it would be.

My BMI is almost out of the 40's. Been forever since that happened... Actually I've never seen my BMI lower then 40. I didn't even know about BMI's til I found out about wls in 2003.

I've been walking a lot more. I'm trying to get my protein in more through food then powders, though I will continue having at least one shake per day just to make sure I get my required amount.

I've seen some people I haven't seen in a while and people can already see changes in me. That is such a good feeling.

Here's hoping it continues.

So I haven't lost anything in a few days now. I'm doing ok with it. I can see my clothes are looser and I know I've lost inches. But it is frustrating to not have lost anything.

I'm on moist foods now, no more puree. Food is going down easily, no issues so far. I'm still only eating an ounce or two at a time so at least I know I'm not overeating.

I've been having issues getting in protein just cuz I can't stand my protein powders anymore. I experimented with making a fruit shake with powder in it and that is yummy. I won't have to worry about protein today.

I'm still dealing with the drain incision. It had scabbed over nicely, but came off after a shower and bled for a while. Ouchie.

Other then that, all is well and I'm feeling just about like a normal human.

Just a quick post. I'm feeling sooooo good today!

It's been interesting to watch my progress.. myself. hehehe The first few days all I could do was lay around. I wore the loosest clothes and no underclothes cuz it just hurt too much. Then I started wearing undies again and actually found that it seemed to add some support and made me feel better. I've gone bra-less until today. I tried once before but it just hurt too darn much. I would brush my hair everyday, but didn't really care what it looked like. Then a few days ago I started putting clips in my hair like I always did pre-op. Today I got fully dressed, bra and all, did my hair. I feel HUMAN!!



I went outside for an hour or so and played catch with my boys and sat in the sun, soaking up some Vitamin D. I folded all the laundry and put in the last load that needed washing. I dusted my front room which includes 7 bookcases and all the books. I danced around with my ipod and sang my heart out.

I have so much energy and I feel so good it makes me want to cry! I don't think you really appreciate normal good health until you've been 'down' for a while.

Oh and my pants fell off the other day. I honestly don't think that has ever happened to me before. lol

I hope all the rest of my days feel like this one.. or even better!!

It's amazing to me how slow time passed before the surgery and here it is, one week after surgery. All that waiting and it's so weird to realize it's over, the hardest part is over. Now I just live the plan, use the tool, and live my life. It's all in my hands now. I don't have to wait on anyone else to decide what is best or not best for me.

On the 24th, my hubby and I checked me in around 7am and waited for a while in the waiting room. Evergreen Hospital has this great computer/tv screen where you can keep track of where your loved one is. They assign you a number and the screen will change depending on where you are; waiting room, pre op, surgery, etc. That was handy for my hubby.

We were taken back to the pre-op area and I was weighed in. 274lbs. My beginning weight. I changed into the gown and then it was time for the IV. It took two nurses and three tries to get it in and it hurt like crazy. Then we just sat there and waited some more. Dr Billing came in and asked if I had any questions, asked if I'd gotten any rest. I told him it was more important that he'd gotten the rest.

The anesthesiologist came in and introduced himself. I told him I was super nervous and he gave me a shot in the iv to relax me. Then it was time. They wheeled me out of the room and the last thing I remember was kissing my husband goodbye, then I was out. Whatever that med was, it was neat!

The next thing I knew, I was in my room. I don't remember anything about waking up or being in recovery. I was just suddenly awake in the room. Hubby said I cried out when they transferred me from the stretcher to the bed. I told him I was sorry if it embarrassed him. He said not to worry, he was more trying to hold himself back from beating them up for not being careful with me.

I learned to know and love my pain pump. It was wonderful. I wish I could have that for the rest of my life. I got up and walked as soon as I could. They wanted me to go to the bathroom but for some reason I just couldn't pee. They did a bladder ultrasound and it was very apparent that I needed to go. A catheter was ordered. Ugh. It hurt like hell. But I kept doing what they told me to.

I sipped at water and had nibbles of jello. The broth was utterly repulsive. I kept walking and walking whenever I could. The night was miserable because of my back. I can't lay flat on my back, even reclining hurts. But I couldn't get on my side.

The next morning I started in on the nurses saying I wanted to go home. They took out the catheter and said I could go after I went pee. Well, crap. My surgeon's assistant came in and discussed the surgery with me. (This was one of the disappointments I have. I never saw my surgeon again after that one glimpse pre-op. I'd heard he had such a great bedside manner, but I never saw it... or him.) The surgery went well, he told me. One tiny complication was that some staples came loose and they had to use sutures to make sure the pouch stayed shut. Though he didn't tell me, I discovered it later, this resulted in a 3 inch long incision directly below my jp drain. Other then that, all went perfectly text book.

So, the PA also agreed that I had to pee before I could go. Roger and I got dressed and ready and then I began trying. And trying. And trying. I would spend 10 minutes in the bathroom, run the water as I tried, everything to try and pee and I couldn't!!! It was so frustrating! I was sipping for all I was worth, it was insane! As the hours passed (yes, hours) I started crying cuz I was tired and hurting and I just wanted to go home. Finally FIVE hours later, they did a bladder ultrasound again and saw there was some in there and for some reason, the pressure against my bladder helped and I was FINALLY able to go in and pee.


We were released very soon after and went home. I couldn't have been more happy.

The first few days were great. I was up and around, sipping and sipping at my crystal light and protein drinks. Everything was going well. I was hoping to get on the scale and see a giant number drop, but we all know that's crazy. I came home and was 3 pounds heavier from water weight, but lost that by the next day.

Around Friday, I stretched to get up into a cupboard and felt this horrific pulling. My jp drain incision had split open at one end. Oh my ouch! My poor hubby got a weak stomach looking at it. Since then, the pain has been really bad. After a few moments of walking, the pain makes me hunch and cry.  I'm such a big baby. Saturday we noticed the incision was reddening and getting hard around the outside.

Sunday I called the on-call doc cuz it started draining - outside the drain. They said it was normal. I figured it could wait til my appointment on Tuesday morning. Then I got a fever, and another, and another. I called the on-call doc again (who honestly sounded so put out, I knew I wouldn't get anywhere). He said to go to the ER or try to arrange a time to see him on Monday. After discussing it with hubby, we both decided we'd rather just wait til the appointment Tuesday. I hate the ER and wouldn't want to risk making it worse by going there.

Today, Monday, has been much better. I'm still having fevers, but low grade. The incision is still red and hard and now it looks like it's puckering a bit, like it's healing around the drain. I think it'll be fine, though I may need some antibiotics.

As for the whole food issue, I haven't had any problems. I had one incident with eating a bit too much of a popsicle and it made me sooo full it was miserable. I hadn't noticed getting full, maybe because it was so cold. But that is the only problem I've had. I am getting in plenty of fluids and protein... maybe not enough, but plenty. I get a bit lightheaded if I don't eat on time, which is weird, I thought you weren't supposed to get hungry after the surgery.

I've lost 7lbs which is nice. This is the lowest I've been in almost a year. I will admit, again, that I hoped it would be more, but I think we all do at first.

As I mentioned tomorrow is my first post-op appointment and I am seriously hoping this darn drain gets taken out. I hate it. Hate it.

But regardless of pain and drains and discomforts, I am so happy to be done with the surgery, to be on the other side, to be on the losers bench.

  Start the "Eye of the Tiger",  cause I'm ready to get to work.

At this time tomorrow I will be in the hospital, hopefully relaxing with some good meds.

Of all days for it to happen, my youngest son, Alex got the stomach flu. Poor kiddo has been absolutely miserable. Oh and to top it off, before he started vomiting, I had spent a good ten minutes cuddling him (he's 10, but he still loves to cuddle his mama!).

I think I'm ready. I was freaking out pretty bad this morning, but now I'm really calm. I finally feel like it's going to happen and all will be well. I like this calm. I sure hope it lasts.

I have so many friends who care, many from here. I feel supported, loved and really ready.

Oh and the house cleaner came today (first time ever I hired someone to clean!) and she was awesome! In less time then she quoted, she had my house looking spic and span. Awesome! I'll definitely be calling her again.

I guess that's all I have to say. I'm hoping to sleep tonight. Next time I post, I'll be ready to start my new life.