Kelly B.

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Hello!  It's now June and I am 24 weeks preggers.  Everything seems to be going well with the pregnancy and I have only gained 2 lbs so far!!  Yippee!  Everything else is going crazy in our life though.  I know I must just keep praying and keep the faith that all happens for a reason.  Sometimes its so hard to do.  I still don't know about my surgery.  All that is still up in the air.  I guess God is teaching me patience right now.  Not my strong point.  Take care and God Bless you! 

Well it's May and we've had a couple of crazy weeks.  I had those blood tests and it actually came back with some issues so the Dr. had me go into the hospital for an ultra sound.  The baby is fine thank God!  What a scare that was!  We did find out that we are having a BOY!  WOW - THREE BOYS!  What is the Lord thinking?  It will be fun and crazy that is for sure.  We are naming him Noah Michael Basel.  I figured he needed a strong biblical name to help him through this crazy family :-)  We now will have 4 kids, 4 dogs, 6 cats, and two extremely tired parents :-)  

I am not sure what is going to happen with my surgery.  There are some things in play right now that I didn't expect to come up and am not sure what is going to happen in the end.  I can't talk about it right now, but should know something in the next few weeks.  I am learning to have to trust in God and know that HE has the ultimate plan for me.  LIfe is very unpredictable.....I cannot wait to find out what HE has in store for me.  Keep losing out there and God Bless YOU!

Well, I thought I would check in and update my stuff for April.  All is good here.  I really haven't gained any weight so far and I am now going into my 18th week preggers.  I can still fit into my jeans and shorts.  I have to say I am amazed.  It is truly something when your body dictates what you can eat and drink.  I think this is preparing me for my surgery more than anything could.  I just can't eat what I use to!  I can't drink cokes at all.  I don't want anything fried or from a fast food place.  I crave salads and fruit smoothies.  It's so weird!  I go tomorrow for my monthly doctor's appointment.  I have to do a bunch of blood work.  YUK!  Hate blood work!  Hopefully they will schedule my ultra sound so we can finally see the baby and know what we are having!  I cannot wait for that!  Then I can start shopping!  (my hubby better not read this :-)  We have had  a pretty good month. Our cat had kittens this month.  That was cool cause the whole family was home to watch and be a part of something special.  Jaylen, our 3 year old, had a birthday last week.  He has been with us now for eighteen months!  Finally got that boy potty trained!  And to celebrate we had a huge party at the park and redecorated his whole room.  Well, I better go!  I'll check in next month.  Keep losing out there for me!  Take care and God Bless YOU!  kmb

I had to check in and see how everyone was doing.  So many exciting updates on the board!  It doesn't make me sad anymore.  I just can't wait until it's me.  Things are going much better.  I am so glad the time changed early this year!  I try to spend at least an hour or so out in the sunshine just to relax.  I love spring!  

I went to my OB/GYN today for my check up.  I am 13 weeks preggers.  We got to hear the baby's heartbeat and talked with the doctor.  I was weighed in and actually lost a pound since my last visit!  Yahoo!  I so do not want to gain more weight!  I am eating very well but only crave fruits and veggies.  I have also been drinking a ton of water which is something I never do.  This is probably good to have this nine months of limitations and stomache issues before gastric bypass.  I am having to get use to less food, more water, some nausea, and uncertain taste buds!  Great prep for the next couple of years!  Now if I could just start walking....

Also, have to say --- Plus Size Maternity choices SUCK EGGS!  Wow and I thought it was bad 13 years ago during my last pregnancy.  At least at that time I was a normal size.  Urghhh....only 6 more months...only 6 more months :-)  I can deal with it.  

I'll have a beautiful little baby and by the time his/her first summer comes, I'll be able to go to the pool and not be ashamed.  What a different mom this kiddo will have!  Love ya and God Bless.  Talk with you next month.

Well it's now March 2007 and I am ten weeks preggers.  It has been a hard last six weeks.  I have been so depressed and so emotional.  I think I am coming out of it slowly, but man oh man has it been difficult.  I am very excited about having a baby, but not too happy about being pregnant and gaining weight.  

We have so much to do to get ready.  The hubby and I talked last night about putting the house on the market this summer and building a new house.  We have definitely out grown this one now!  We didn't ever think we would need to move b/c of lack of room, but when you add two kiddo's it get's kinda small.  So, we'll build a house, sell a house, have a baby, and have gastic by-pass!  We are nuts.....

I did quit smoking, drinking, and lowered my coffee intake.  The smoking thing wasn't that bad since I had already cut way back before I actually had to quit.  We'll see what happens over the next month --Say some prayers!  Love and God Bless!

Well, I was in CA yesterday at the airport waiting to come back home when I checked my messages.  Dr. Dyer left me a message to call him back as soon as possible.  I have to say I was a little scared thinking something is wrong with my EKG or they found cancer in my blood cells, it was none of that.  I am preggers.  Totally unexpected!  I didn't know what to do!  Anyway, I called the hubby and told him.  He was so excited!  I became excited as the day went on -- it was a total readjustment in thinking and my brain was having a hard time wrapping around the idea.  I have to say that I believe God has a plan for us all!  And sometimes our plan doesn't exactly match up to HIS.  So, I am going to have a beautiful baby this September and have my surgery in December.  WOW!  What a lifestyle change this is going to be!   If you are so inclined say some prayers please and I hope we will all keep in touch throughout this year.

PS - Look at the bottom of my story below and see the analogy that I used about the surgery!  Ha!  How funny is that?  Love you!

Ok, today has been pretty shi**y.  Excuse the language.  Woke up this morning to a grouchy hubby and he didn't make anything much better later on.  I then went to my Pre-Op appointment only to find out that I should have been on a liquid diet for the last few days all the way up until my surgery.  Well needless to say, I have not been following that piece of advice since I didn't know about it.  Then they wanted the full amount of my out of pocket right then & there....soooooo....I had to call the bank and have them transfer funds so we could continue the visit.  All of this made me late for my appointment at the hospital for the EKG and bloodwork.  I then called my hubby so he could meet me for my "last" meal  --- we had planned on a night out together and then a family get together, but that plan is out the window.  AND I QUIT SMOKING ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My poor family is really going to want to move out for the next week --- Mama is going to be in such a bad mood.  The only thing I am thankful about right now is that I can still have my coffee.  Gotta keep one vice by God.    So, I am about to get on a plane for CA - I come back Friday night.  Hubby and I did meet for lunch.  I have to say it was a good last meal :-)  I am sure I will survive, just didn't have my mental preparedness going yet and this has caught me off guard.   Well gotta run!  God Bless!

9 More Days!!!!  I am so glad I am traveling this week.  I think I would scream if I had to work at home this week and just sit there waiting for next week to come. 

I drove last night to St.  Louis.  Had a blast!  I sang my heart out.  I was jamming.  I know all the truck drivers were like "who is that crazy chick from TN?? "  I have also discovered that once I crossed the TN state line, the drivers actually were very polite and knew to move over when a crazy lady comes up behind them unlike those TN drivers who actually get mad that you're in the fast lane on their bumper.  

Anyway, today I will do two trainings and drive back.  I think I'll stop at a Circuit City on the way out of town and pick up a few more CD's :-)  Tomorrow I have all of my Pre-Op stuff and then I fly to California until Friday.  I better run....it's time to go meet my client!  God Bless!

I am off today to go to St. Louis to do some training with one of my clients.  I am going to drive since it'll give me time by myself to listen to music, pray, and think about all the things I need to get done before next week!  I should be ready for a drink by the time I arrive :-)  I quit smoking on Friday.  My poor family -- Mama is not going to be having any food, smokes, or alcohol for awhile!  I hope to quit smoking for good.  I am getting sick of it.  I just have never tried to quit.  So say some prayers for me that I can do it!  The food part I don't think will be so hard.  My problem is I don't eat all day and then I eat a HUGE meal once my body say's it's time to eat.  That is not a very good thing to do to yourself.  SO, I don't think I will have as much of a problem in that department.  I never snack and I don't use suger or creamer in anything, I only like diet coke -- I am hoping those things will help my in my after surgery life.  The part I will have a hard time doing is making sure I get all the vitamins and protein/water in my system.  I have warned my family that I may not be the nicest person to be around for the first couple of weeks ---  Hopefully we will get through it fine.  Well gotta go!

Well, I have to say, I broke down last night.  It was the strangest thing ever.  My hubby and I went to our favorite place for dinner and music and once the band started playing, I started crying.  I guess I have been stuffing all of my emotions and yesterday I had gone through all of my material on the surgery, after surgery, read a bunch a blogs, and was processing all of that information and I just needed to let it all out.  The weird part is I am not one to cry.  I think I scared the hubby b/c he's more likely to cry than I am!  

It's actually kind of funny now, but it wasn't last night!  I could not stop crying at all.  Finally my hubby had to pay the bill, get me a napkin, and during a break in my crying jag, get me to the car.  I cried all the way home.  I cried in the garage.  I cried in our room.  Then I fell asleep from all of my crying!  

I know what started it.  I had my hubby take pictures of me right before we left and I made the mistake of looking at them.  I haven't looked at my backside in years and was horrified to see what it looked like.  By going to our favorite place and seeing all the women dancing and having a good time, it overwhelmed that I looked so bad ----- it was awful.  I actually thought to myself how much I hate food and what it has done to me.  I hate my reliance on food  --- I hate my weakness when it comes to food  --- I am so ready to change that reliance and weakness.  

Another thing that troubled me was that I read a blog about a person who had this surgery several years ago and her after pictures are AMAZING!!  I read her blog from beginning to end and the part I most admired about her was her belief in God.  She mentioned her faith and belief in every entry over the years.  It spoke to me b/c I, too, have a strong faith and belief.  God has been with me through so much in my life and I cannot image HIM not being in my life during this change as I become a more complete person.  I really felt like I knew her by reading her journal.  Towards the end of her blog though I noticed she hasn't brought God up at all in the last year and it bothered me FOR HER.  I almost wanted to ask "Why?"  -- "What changed????"---  And, what bothered me, for me, is I don't want that to happen to me.  

The other "issue" I am dealing with is I think that overweight people are special.  And I think we come to depend on parts of life or who we are that "normal" people never really explore.  We have to develop our personality, our sense of humor, and have many coping skills that other "normal" people don't.  I think about the people I know who have never had a weight problem or are extremely beautiful from day one, and how in our society, those people get the easy smiles, the flattering compliments, the appreciative looks, the doors opened for them, and everything else because of the way they look.  As an overweight person, those things are never taken for granted - they are appreciated and savored, remembered b/c it's such a rare occurrence.  I know I am bumbling through this, but I guess as overweight people, we have a better appreciation for the small gifts in life and that in itself is a big gift.  I never want to lose that or take it for granted.

I guess that is why I am writing my blog.  So I can remember these days and have a constant reminder of what I believe is important.  Thank God we have this site to do that.  Well, better go!  God Bless!