Kelly B.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I have made it!  To my first goal.  I am 140 lbs today.  WOW! 

       120 lbs lost in 10 1/2 months ---   Savoring the moment

                               God Bless U!

I can almost taste it!  LOL!  I am so excited and I think that I can lose this within the next month.  Ok, so here are the stats:

Surgery 12/15/2010
Start weight:  260 lbs
Height: 5'4
Weight today:  145 lbs
Goal weight:  140 lbs
Goal BMI:  24

Clothing size -- I started in a size 22 bottoms and 3x tops.  I am now a size 6 bottom and medium tops.  I have rediscovered my amazingly big rib cage which will prohibit me from ever wearing a small top!  I forgot how big my ribs were.  Crazy things.  I have been shopping in everyone I know closet.  I was so excited this week because a longtime friend invited me to her house for closet shopping.  She gave me 13 pairs of jeans, jackets, blouses, suits for work, and a very sexy red dress.  My mother in law and sister in law have been continuously looking through their closets and have given me jackets, dresses, and my new favorite Lucky jeans! 

Shrink update -- well I am still going to the shrinkage.  He did say that he was very proud of me for the progress I have made and he is not so much worried that I will turn to food as he is worried that I will continue to lose weight after reaching goal.  He knows that I am very goal oriented.  So to reassure him and me, I made an appointment with my surgeons office for blood work and to meet with the nutritionist.  I am averaging 5 to 6 lbs of weight lost per month and I will need to figure out how to maintain.  I do plan on doing strength training and weights once I reach goal to firm things up a bit. 

The Hubby update -- hmmm....where do I begin?  I thought everything had been going well and we were on the right path...but jealousy and insecurity is coming up more and more.  The hubby is having trust issues and it's impacting our relationship.  At the same time, I am having adjustment issues with a new body.  Here's a little TMI -- sex is different when you are skinnier.  I won't go into the details but it's weird.  So, you have a husband who is not so sure of his "new" wife, a wife who is not so sure of her "new" body, and insecurity abounds between the both.  Possible recipe for disaster.  We are talking to each other and really trying to figure stuff out.  It's just hard when I am traveling so much and he is in nursing school and between all of our schedules and the kids, the house, the bills, the whatever, we don't have a lot of time to work on the relationship.  The good thing is that both of us agree we have an issue and we want it to be better. 

That's where I am today folks -- I will update after I get the results from my surgeon and the nutritionist.  Hope you guys are doing great out there!  God bless you and keep losing! 

I am extremely excited about only having 10 lbs to go till goal.  WOW!  It has been a good ride to say the least and I am hoping for an even better one going forward.  I finally love to have pictures taken of me and I know I need to get some body shots in but haven't been able to get to that point yet.  I have so much energy and today I took my 4 year old out for a walk --- we walked up the "big" hill in the neighborhood and I wasn't even winded.  That blew me away.  He was puffing and I didn't even have a problem.  Last spring it was the insurmountable hill and now it's easy peasy.  

I just found out this week that I am being sent to a training for work.  They actually video tape you while you do presentations and talking.  I am so glad that I am not who I was a year ago.  I don't think I could have handled seeing myself on video as big as I was.  It will be interesting to see myself now on video.  We'll see what it does to me and if it affects my head. 

I do have issues with what I see in mirror.  I notice that I am smaller but still the same shape in a sense.  It  surprises me to see my shadow.  I don't expect to see the curves of my waist and hips -- I still expect to see the pear.  Life is good -- I feel like I am alive again.  I took so much for granted when I was younger and "in shape".  Now I am relishing the moments -- I have read other blogs of folks who are where I am and the "men" moments of where you feel being checked out or "considered" are so unexpected.  All of that is interesting and difficult to process at times.  I can understand how people get off track and relationships change.  I am fortunate in that I still love being with hubby and he knows me fat or thin.  It also helps that I am discovering me for the first time.  I am difficult, temperamental, loving, giving, and hard to handle at times.  Hopefully we progress and make the most of our relationship. 

Sorry if this is a boring blog moment just introspective today and wanted to write what is going on in my head -- for me.  Good luck out there and keep losing!  God bless you -- HE is mighty and HE is with you in this journey. God has been there for me.  Peace! k

Ok, so I was in Chicago this week for work.  It was one of those days where I woke up and went outside to have coffee on the street corner before going into the office for our team building meetings.  As I am walking back in, this little baby bird falls from the sky and lands at my feet.  Poor thing, I couldn't do anything for it.  I go inside and start thinking that this isn't a good omen to have a bird drop dead at your feet. 

I get to the office and sitting outside of our conference room is one of our key executives --- he is kind of my nemesis.  He doesn't like me at all.  We start our meeting and he gives us the updates to all the changes in our company -- we have bought 4 other companies in 6 months.  This meeting was to bring together all of the folks from those companies to integrate the teams and build teamwork.  We were to give individual presentations to our peers and have an interactive discussion.  Well, once this executive found out we were giving presentations, he makes the statement that he will stay for my presentation.   I was a wreck.  He writes copious notes during my presentation, asks questions, and then gets up to leave right as I am done.  There went the team building aspect as he completely unnerved me and some of the other team members.  Totally negated the whole point for the meeting. 

Later on I had to take a car service out to the suburbs for a meeting the next day that I had with a client.  (This particular client is notoriously difficult and can be extremely hard to please.  I had created a new product for them and this was the meeting to present this product.  Very high profile and I was nervous as hell.)  So, I am standing outside of our office waiting for the car when a big black stretch limo drives up.  The driver jumps out of the car and says "Are you Kelly?"  He's kind of cute with that shaved head, big bodyguard kind of look.  I get into the car and start to relax.  After about 1/2 hour this guy starts talking to me about everything.  By the time we get to my hotel, he has told me that I am "smokin" hot and that he gets off work at 10!  I didn't know what to say!  I was like, "I'm married" and his response was that he didn't mind that.  I laughed so hard!  I thanked him for the offer but was going to have to decline. 

I go check into my hotel and found out that I was the Marriott Rewards member of the day -- I was upgraded to a suite on the concierge floor, free drinks, free breakfast, and even a hotel robe that I can now fit into!  It was a roller coaster of a day -- from the dead bird to being treated like a queen.  Amazing.....

It didn't stop there either.  The next day I do my presentation and I nail it!  (With God's help)  I prayed so hard to God that I could do this presentation and let it be smooth --- He came through for me.  The client bought the product on the spot.  Our Account Exec sent an email to my nemesis telling him how great the meeting went! 

So, I get to the airport and we start boarding the plane. Here's what's too funny,  when I was 17 I used a British accent to get into this club. I met this guy who loved my "accent" - I went on a date with him and a week later he sent me flowers telling me "welcome to America" --  I get on the plane in Chicago and 23 years later this guy sits down next to me and starts a conversation. Never knowing who I really was.....How crazy is that? I love how life works...

Keep losing out there!  God bless you all!  k

Wow - 100 lbs gone!  I cannot believe it.  I am only 20 lbs away from goal.  So much has changed and yet, much has not.  It's weird, wonderful, and crazy.  There are  many things I have allowed myself to do now that I weigh less.  I take my kid's swimming every weekend, I put on a bathing suit and went to the beach in FL without feeling embarrassed, I went to Portland OR and walked all around the city without stopping or being winded, I can sit outside on a summer day without sweating buckets, I get chilly in air conditioning, and I am going to my first concert in 10 years on Friday!  I am getting more comfortable in my new body.  I read back on my older blogs and realized that it isn't as big of deal as it was --- Eating is not an issue -- still haven't tried a lot of new stuff and only once in a blue moon do I get "head" hunger. 

Exercise is still out there to be worked on -- I went the shrinkage yesterday --- I gave him permission to read my blog --- Hi Shrinkage!  He called me to tell me that we will make that a part of our next discussion but I needed to work on exercising in the meantime.  Sigh....I will work on it......

I am turning 40 on Saturday --- I am not sure what to think about turning 40.  I was so excited about turning 30 but 40 is a bit different.  I am trying to sort out all my head issues and figure out what are issues b/c of the weight loss and what are issues b/c I am turning 40 -- what's real and what's not.  I am beginning to understand the meaning of mid-life crisis.  Thank goodness for therapy.  Very introspective these days when it comes to my spirituality.  God is my strength and I am really thinking and praying about what I am suppose to be doing in my life.  Some days it's a cluster and other days it seems very clear. 

Status Update:  I had my surgery on 12/15/2010 and I am nine months out.  I weigh 159 lbs.  My clothing size is a 12 and can wear medium tops.  Energy level is high.  Still losing some hair -- which sucks eggs.  Eating mostly protein -- eggs for breakfast, protein shake for lunch, and fish for dinner on most days.  I drink only water and coffee.  My goal over the next three months is to reach 140 lbs/24 BMI and be on a good workout schedule. 

Hope you all are doing well out there!  God bless you and keep losing.  Take care, k

I am now down to 168 lbs.  -- I have to say that it feels good.  I have really enjoyed being able to run up steps or walk a whole parking lot without getting winded.  I am having fun shopping in my 16 year old daughters closet!  She has done amazing too.  She was never really overweight but lost 20 lbs so now her medium/large clothes are mine as she is down in the small size!  Everything is good around the home front and work front.  Lot's more energy -- therapy is going really well.  It really does make a difference.  Hope all is well in your world.  Happy 4th of July weekend.  God bless!

It took almost a month but I finally saw those 2 lbs I was losing and gaining go away and lost another 2 lbs in addition!  So, I am just under my six month mark and have lost a total of 84 lbs.  I am now at the weight I was when I was first pregnant with my daughter 17 years ago.  Kinda crazy!  I do feel good and I have no regrets for having this surgery.  I still haven't tried all the "new" foods that I am allowed at this stage.  I keep delaying because I figure that I have all the time in the world to eat those things so why rush?  I still do protein first --- eggs, chicken, and seafood -- if I need something crunchy I have pretzels (only 5 small ones) and if I need more protein then it's my protein shake from Costco.  I drink water throughout and can now drink it a lot faster than before.  I have indulged in an adult beverage every once in awhile but it has only been white wine and never more than two glasses.  I am terrified of dumping so I try not to push any of my limits -- I have really only dumped once since surgery and it was awful!  I will say that what you hear is true - one glass of wine and I am woozy! I also can process it pretty quick and it seems to be out of my system.  Thank God since I really don't like the woozy feeling.

Exercise is my demon -- I am battling my lazy urges.  Although the hanging skin is becoming ever more evident and it's starting to bother me. 

I am in therapy and see my shrinkage every week to every two weeks depending upon our schedules.  I feel it's so important to address the head issues that helped me get to obese in the first place.  I know that eating was a coping mechanism --- I know that I am an emotional eater.  I realized very early on that I needed help to deal with the "why" of my obesity because I don't want to go back to that way again.  We have made really good progress.  I have been in therapy before and I always hated that it took so many sessions before we actually got to the crux of the matter so I decided to do it a little differently.  I put together a list of things I needed to address.  I then put together on paper who everyone is in my family and a narrative about my growing up years -- this way my shrinkage can review my information and the notes from the previous session so that we can pick up where we left off and it's not spending half of an appointment going over the last appointment.  It seems to work pretty well and I am really seeing progress in our sessions.  I have a whole new viewpoint of my past and my family.  One that has a whole lot more understanding and acceptance.  I truly recommend to people with this surgery to seek therapy in one form or another.  It is helpful.

As for the hubby, I am worried about his weight and his eating habits.  I sincerely hoped that he would be inspired and motivated with my weight loss.  I was even hoping that he would get competitive with me.  That has not happened and I think he's a little worse.  He is a fast food junkie and trolls around to places where he can pick food up and eat it before he gets home.  He knows what he is doing is bad for his health but he cannot seem to help himself.  I pray that he finds what he needs to overcome his issues with food.  I try to be supportive and I only keep healthy food in the house but I am not there when he's out driving around....

One another note my OH friends, I need your prayers.  My cousin's son was killed in Afghanistan yesterday.  He was 23 years old and leaves behind a wife and 22 month old baby.  He was leading his group in a caravan and they came under fire.  He left his vehicle to check on his men and a sniper got him.  He is not the only one who has died for our country but he is the first in our family in many many years.  If you so desire, please say a prayer for him and his family.  Thank you and God Bless you all.

Well, it's been two weeks and I am gaining and losing the same two pounds over and over and over again.  It really is becoming so frustrating.  And, I am losing hair at an alarming rate.  I have upped my protein and water intake --- i am trying to eat right, I am walking but really need to start doing the weight training --- URGHHHH..... I really am at a loss right now.  I know the hair thing will correct itself and I have read a bunch of stuff on here to help with the panic I feel when I get out of the shower or look at my brush.  I am taking Biotin and have been since surgery.  I have a lot of hair but it's so damn fine that I can really tell the difference.  The weight piece is so difficult to determine what to do --- up the calories?  More protein?  Less calories?  I don't know....I have tried it all the last two weeks -- I am even doing Benefiber everyday in my morning coffee.  I would like to walk more but we have those nasty Cicada's out now in TN.  If you don't know what they are, they are those really big black bugs with red eyes.  We get them every 13 years -- there are 1.5 million cicada's per acre.  And, they love to dive bomb you or just sit on your shoulder.  Gives me the hebejebes..... So, I guess I will be doing more mall walking.  Anyhoo, that is where I am today......Hope all is well in your world.  God bless and keep losing out there!

Wow!  I cannot believe that I have lost 75 lbs -- I feel wonderful physically and I am getting there emotionally and mentally.  Just to catch you up from my last post.  I bought pj's and nighties from Victoria Secrets.  I was very surprised that when I tried the PJ's on that they were too big!  For one, I never thought I would fit into that stuff but two, I never expected that I would need a smaller size!  I have to say that when I got the package in the mail, the Hubby liked what I got too
Speaking of the hubby, we are working on our relationship.  It's been a rough couple of weeks for us.  Life just seems to keep happening and we are in desperate need of couple time.  We sat on the front porch last night and had a good talk.  It's weird but now that I feel so much better, I want to go out and have fun.  I want my hubby to flirt with me and take me out.  I think I know why some marriages go through a stressful time during this process -- as an obese woman, I didn't have a lot of attention from men -- I didn't get "those" looks or have guys strike up a conversation with me.  And, I am not saying that all men do that now, but some do.  I realized that I was so accustomed to being ignored as a woman, even by my own husband.  Now that I am not always ignored, I discovered that I what I really want is that type of response from the man I am married to.  The Hubby is not the most romantic man in the world --- The first thing he did was the dishes   He's gonna need a bit of help to figure it out but at least he understood what I was saying.  It's hard with our household of two teenagers (who do not drive yet b/c we have held off) and one very energetic three year old to have any privacy or time to spend just the two of us.  The good news is that we see what we need to do and we will work towards getting that back in our relationship.  

Oh, and I wanted to update you all on the body wraps that I have had and will continue to do.  The first wrap results were 18 inches lost and 2 lbs.  It was not a wrap where you sweat or have the mud.  They actually exfoliate all of your skin with a special brush, then they apply two types of creams, wrap you plastic wrap from head to toe, and let you lay down for about 30 minutes, then they cut you out and rub in all the cream.  They do measure before and after -- I watched her like a hawk to see exactly how she measured each time and she was consistent.  The only thing that is uncomfortable is when you are wrapped and laying down, there is a moment of claustrophobia since your body is bound up.  The soothing music and letting my mind wander helped to keep that at bay.  The cost is $180.00 per session but I signed up for coupons so I paid $117.00 -- The place that I went to was called Skin & Beyond Day Spa in Franklin TN.  I was not looking at the wrap to help  me with my weight loss so much as I was wanting to have my skin in good shape for the rapid shrinkage it is going through.  My skin is doing pretty good.  The wrap just takes the toxins out of your skin which causes the inch loss.  To give you an example, my right arm is a lot bigger than my left arm.  After the wrap, my right arm was 2 inches smaller.  My body stores toxins in that arm for some reason.  I have had a lot of emails about the wrap and I am not trying to sell anything.  I can only say this was my experience with the process.

Hope you all have a wonderful week -- God Bless you all and may you keep losing! 

This morning I ordered stuff from VS.  I was so excited!  No, I didn't order those really sexy nighties but I did order a few cute Pj's and stuff.  I have never shopped in VS, even when I was small years ago.  I am really starting to like shopping.  Last weekend my surgery sister, Cathy, came into town for a girls weekend.  Cathy and I work for the same company but didn't know each other until we met on this site.  She had the VSG done two days before I had RNY.  We have been phone and email pals.  We went to the spa in the morning and then out shopping at Chico's.  She was so excited.  It's amazing how we forget we are women when we're overweight.  We forget the importance of being "girlie" -- We went and got her hair done -- gave ourselves mani's and pedi's -- dressed up and went to dinner and listened to music at an outdoor cafe.  It was so much fun trying on clothes and having a girl friend in the next room, throwing clothes over the wall for each other to try on.  I didn't realize how much I missed something so simple as friendship. 

It's also funny how now I don't look for clothes that are black and hide my body.  I actually wore a coral and yellow sweater set yesterday with jeans -- I had the nicest older man come up to me and tell me he loved those colors on me.  It was really sweet.  I actually cannot wait until Easter next weekend as I have the most beautiful outfit to wear from Talbot's.  I always dreaded finding something to wear for Easter since most women would wear pretty dresses and I always looked like a whale in a dress.  It is nice feeling pretty -- I smile more.  Happy weekend all -- take care and have a good week.  God bless!