October 22 2011

Oct 22, 2011

Missed two days...got busy, barely read the forums, but did OK keeping on my eating plan.

I wavered a little last night. My parents called and asked if I wanted to go to the Chinese buffet with them and my gram for dinner. I had been thinking earlier in the day that I was really hungry for some peanut chicken and wondering if the local take-out had peanut chicken...so I said OK (Because I knew the buffet did). On the drive up (into the dreaded Wal-Mart death trap of a parking lot), I started thinking that this might be one of the last times I eat at a buffet. I mean, my mom had RnY and they still do buffets on occasion... I was wondering....will I miss it? 

Then I realized that I don't eat a whole lot at Buffets. At least, not at this one. I can remember times going to buffets and making 3-4 trips with filled to the top heaping piles of food on each plate...this time...not so much. I didn't take any rice. I got the peanut chicken, some walnut shrimp, sweet and sour chicken, crab rangoons, fruit, and a cup of ice milk (I went for the cup, not the soup bowl) - and that was spread out over 3 trips...but every time I made sure that I still had white showing through the bottom of my plate. Maybe my dollar-conscious unnamed family member would say I didn't eat $11 worth of food...but I think I did and I was satisfied with what I ate and I didn't leave feeling hungry OR bloatedly full. 

So maybe I won't miss buffets. And when I do go, I can control myself. 

I've been fighting the what-if monster a bit the last few days, too. I'm excited, for sure, but nervous. I read a post on the VSG board today from someone who's 1 year out with some great advice.... with my whole stomach, trying to eat what I'll be allowed over VSG...my brain will think I'm starving. Post op, though.... I'll be *satisfied* with smaller portions. It's not like I'm going to be depriving myself. I'm still getting nutrition, I'm still eating to satisfaction...it's a smaller, healthier amount with healthier foods. It's a big change. It's a lifestyle change. I know once I see the weight sliding off, it'll help to keep me on track. I've started making a pros/cons list...but when I look at my cons, they're so silly.

"No martini nights for at least a year" (OMG so what? I can still GO, the bartender already said he makes a mean cranberry juice!)  
"No feedbag days" (Yeah, like they were really working out for me)
"The pain of surgery and recovery" (Because the risk of becoming diabetic and going through all of that is so much a better option? No way!)
"Pizza...bye bye" (for now. Not forever. And think how much more you'll SAVOR that one slice of pizza instead of feeling the need/desire to cram half a pie in one sitting)
"Do I have the money to replace my wardrobe?" (This one cracks me up... I get what I was thinking...but there are consignment shops. I think I was worried about how much more I'll SPEND on clothes and shoes when I can shop in more than 2 stores...but that's what sales and coupons are for. I'm a bargain hunter now, as it is. If nothing else...that means more trips to the Outlets!)

Those are the cons I came up with. The pro's totally outweigh (no pun intended, but ha!) them.
Lowering my risk of the family history diseases (Type 2 Diabetes, heart disease, high cholesterol, hypertension)
Having a healthier, more active lifestyle
Feeling more positively about myself and not worrying about other people judging me so much by my appearance
Not looking around for the biggest chair/most amount of room at meetings or worrying about not being comfortable in different seats
Better wardrobe/shoe selection
Not being so winded going up and down stairs
Having more energy
Making the diet/exercise changes for a healthy lifestyle to be a role model for my students
Not having that 'am I the fattest one here?' thought
Being more confident/comfortable in social situations
Not hearing those backhanded compliments from Gram anymore (You'd be so pretty if you weren't heavy.... I know you're not getting married because of your weight.... I made cake because I know you like to eat dessert)
Possibly resolving/reducing some of the PCOS symptoms I have (if that's what it is)
Living longer
Not having to rotate which cushion of the couch I sit on, because when I sit on one cushion too many times the couch starts to look uneven.
Wearing higher heels without pain?!
Traveling!! And being comfortable in planes/trains/automobiles
Crossing my legs at a point other than my ankles
Wearing a skirt/dress without feeling like a linebacker
Buying a one piece bathing suit, or a two piece that doesn't include a skirt
Wearing said bathing suit in front of people to whom I'm not related
Having more than a farmer's tan because I'm willing to expose skin to the sun at times
Finishing my left arm tattoo


Yep.... the pros outweigh the cons.

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