new body new mind..but very hard- measurements- 3 mo out 190lbs

Apr 13, 2009

Well i havent blogged in some time i feel like. Im down 46 lbs and just got back from a vacation that was in a warm sunny spot that required a bathing suit and I didnt feel like a complete fat ass, but yet its amazing that im almost 50 lbs down and I still feel "fat". I sort of still see the old me when looking in the mirror. WIth the weight loss, I met a new guy and he has been fabulous, but just like the guys I have met when a lot heavier, he turned out to be the same, full of shit I guess and not wanting a relationship. He had just gotten out of relationships when we met, so i understood that he wanted to take things slow, but at the same time, hanging out every once in a while really has no harm. So having lost weight, i really  had hoped that I would pick up my non existing relationship side of me and that just isnst happen. Im very upset b/c him and I really got along amazingly well. It seems like he is very scared of me on top of not being ready for a relationship, so seeing me would be too much pressure for him. I cant wait around forever tho. So i must move on and I find tho that I have a need to have something to "drive" me daily. I had looked forward to talking to him on a daily basis, thus making me get the rest of my daily crap done. I have to shift my daily drive now which i'd like to push my weight loss a little more. I am at 190 now and would really like to start seeing the number 8 in the tens place versus a 9. I am thinking of doing protein shakes for a week or two to change up my routine, and probably kick up my metabolism. Your metabolism is funny like that and once it gets used to your daily routines, eating habits, it almost starts to fight it. So shakes it is! Then i might walk 5-10 minutes longer and try to walk outside now that it is getting warmer. I am finally fitting into a size 14 jeans!! Yay!! And a large, even some medium shirts!!! My pictures look nice from my trip and the double chin is pretty much gone, which bothered me the most.

As far as my band goes, i do have some concerns b/c it hasnt been easy and I have to call tomorrow and really start to address the problem of slippage. I have .5 cc's in my band and  I honestly get really full easily and things get stuck incredibly easily. I had to have all my fill taken out b/c I was so tight that nothign woudl pass through. I think that was mostly attributed to stress b/c I have MAJOR stress going on in my life, having lost my job and I was studying for a state examination (which i got the results for and passed!!!!!) so i think i got really tight and really had no idea where it was going with this guy for some time. So i booked a trip and went away to try to relax. But, i have never vomited up my food, I have never overeaten since my surgery- somethign that would cause slippage. However, I do get acide reflux BAD. Yet, i have had acid reflux for years now and that can be attributed to stress. I am taking something for it, but I think I need to possible have an x ray or whatever they do for slippage b/c I just think its WEIRD to have .5 cc's NOT 5 cc's (so dont get that mixed up) in me and to feel full and still get a little stuck sometimes and need papaya enzyme pills. Just got back from my trip on Saturday and office has been closed so will call tomorrow. 

Well now for some new measurements:

39.5 waist
44 abdomen
43 hips
26.5 right thigh
25.5 left thigh
39 back/bra

Comparison measurements 3 months of weight loss: total of 18.5 inches lost on my body

Waist : 12/25/08: 45 inches
01/06/09: 44 inches
02/15/09: 41 inches
04/13/09: 39.5 Abdomen:
12:25/08: 49 inches
01/06/08: 47 inches
04/13/09: 44 inches Left Thigh: 12/25/08: 28 inches
02/15/09: 26 inches
04/13/09: 25.5 inches

Right Thigh 12/25/08: 28 inches
02/15/09: 27 inches
04/13/09: 26.5 inches
Hips: 12/25/08: 45 inches
04/13/09: 43 inches

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