Down 128 lbs! but still feel fat due to excess skin!!

Apr 19, 2010

Ok so I now weigh 134lbs and have been steady for a month at that weight. This is not a bad weight and I have lost 128lbs total since Last June (2009) so I should be happy right? WRONG!!!  I have a boyfriend/fiance (he asked me to marry him, we have the ring picked out and in layaway and are planning on moving in together when finances are available) and I truly love him and his kids as he loves me and my kids! So I AM happy about this! And I can wear a size 6 jeans and a normal size Med top, which I haven't done since Middle School, where as I was wearing a size 26-30 pant size and a 4XL top before GBS. But now I have to choose my clothes wisely as I have to hide my rolls of excess skin!!! I am just as depressed as before as I STILL have "FAT" to hide. I have to wear shirts with longer sleeves to hide my chicken wing arms and I CANNOT wear a bikini like I dreamed of for so long as I have a belly of excess skin to hide. Then I don't feel comfortable wearing short shorts as it shows my flabby inner thighs. And where the heck are my big boobs I used to love??? My butt is saggin as well... :-( that sux!  So it is embarrassing to be naked in front of my man. 

So now that I have lost the weight, I do feel better on the inside Physically that is, but mentally I still feel fat! MY insurance will not cover the surgery to have the skin removed and I have tried exercising but my surgeon told me that the muscle will tone up but the excess skin will not tone up. HOW DEPRESSING!

so much for that bikini!

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