lackdd
Fat and Happy, Not What its Cracked Up To Be...
Oct 02, 2009
So here goes... i found myself eating to comfort me emotionally... I have a relationship with food! First part is admitting you have a problem, right?There's more...
I've recognized that others treat me badly at times, that I accept their misbehavior and even try to rationalize their behavior. This is where it gets stupid... I know this.. I unconciously rationalize and accept their misbehavior as this is how I've always been treated, this is how people treat me (I must accept it), this is what I deserve... Its that last statement that I really have a problem with and so does the people who love me.
Who deserves to be treated badly? No one, not even me! I know this yet its almost like an unconcsious acceptance. Strange, huh? I think so too.
Morbidly obese people, like me, have accepted the way others have treated us because we haven't known anything different.... Well its time... I'm gonna change that, for me! I demand more! Better treatment! Better behaviors! Stop expecting me to do it all and others do nothing! Sorry RANT!
So....
I've decided to go under the knife, have gastric bypass, tummy stapling... it really sounds bad.. but I've determined the only way for me to lose weight and keep it off is to have my hand forced...or mouth forced.. and i'm so looking forward to it, unbelievably looking forward to it.. dropping to 150... can you imagine? I can't. No seriously, I can't see myself thin... but as I lose weight I believe it will slowly come to me... Terry wants me to be happy and healthy and he'll support any decision i make...
So far i've had a pretty good response from those i've told... but i haven't told any family members yet... just coworkers, and now Jen my bff!
I've had people tell me not to change. Not to become mean. To keep my personality.
Is this the expectation that when morbidly obese people lose weight that they become mean, they change?
Or is it that they actually stop accepting others stepping all over them? They stop overachieving? (I can't imagine me not going the extra mile for anyone, but can that happen?)
So check back, I'll try to keep this updated...
