Great things this week!

May 05, 2011

I am just 3 days from my 6 month suriversay! WOOHOO! There have been some great things going on. Sorry I already know this will look like a book. Names have not been changed to protect anybody.

First, the story is too long, so all you need to know is there is a group of people in my past hobby (SCA) that hate me. Its not that they think I'm not a likable person, Its that I am considered charismatic, I like to learn new things, I teach people what I know, I receive a lot of respect from my peers, and a lot of recognition from my superiors. You would think this is all a good thing but there are always those that don't receive respect that only find joy in tearing down those that are what they are not. Three of these people (we will call them the Triumvirate of Evil) when my hubby and I were separated tried to ensure our separation by trying to pay for a divorce one day after our separation and even went as far as to try to make Wulf choose his family or their friendship. Well Wulf and I just had out 21st anniversary so guess how that worked out for them. I have not been to a gathering of this group in three years, and none have seen me since WAY before my WLS.

Soooo I went to a meeting Tuesday to donate some supplies and to see what is going on because my family would like to resume our medieval hobby. It is how Wulf and I met 23+ years ago and we used to enjoy it till we got in this group. Wulf and I have spent many, MANY hours in therapy and worked together to save our marriage and make life better for our kids. We learned how to talk to each other again, and the Triumvirate doesn't even bother me anymore. Wulf says I'm too forgiving, but he's right I will never trust them again. I have discovered, however, that their discomfort around me the few times I have seen them have caused little happy feelings inside, so I guess a little part of me still thinks they suck.

I arrived early to bring my donations and the third member of the Triumvirate of Evil, Maria, was one of only three people there. She turned around and said "Theodora welcome" then went back to talking to someone else, I am totally fine with that. While sitting there and waiting, others started to arrive and one by one, people I knew would walk-in, stop, stare, figure out who I was and run over to welcome and hug me with big shocked eyes. Then the second member of the Triumvirate of Evil, Tammy, entered. She walked in, stopped, stared, then walked over to put her stuff down while her husband ran over and hugged me. Tammy then walked over and said "Teddi you look so good!" So I said thank you and I answered a few questions from the small crowd about how the kids are, are they going to see more of us, etc. Then the head of the Triumvirate of Evil, Nancy (Wulf would probable reverse Tammy and Nancy), entered. She sat down right in front of me at the table so she was facing me. Nancy looked at me, started the meeting, answered a question from someone, then looked at me again. Her eyes then got huge and right in the meeting yelled, "Oh My God Teddi is that you?" The friends around us just started laughing and she asked if this meant that we would be coming back, when I told her yes she then introduced me to the groups members that I don't know and talked about how talented I am and how great it will be to have us active.

Now this where some of my feelings I forgot I was capable of come in. Time has not been as good to the Triumvirate of Evil as it has been to me. Maria is much grayer and doesn't smile, Tammy found out she is diabetic and almost died (she doesn't know we helped her hubby through her coma for three days) and has put on a few pounds, and Nancy...well I might not have recognized her at first if I had not seen pictures a couple months ago. Taking care of her mother until she died has really aged her and she has gained close to one hundred pounds. I am a BIG believer in karma and I think that is why I haven't really thought any bad things about them, its also because I worked on my own issues during our reconciliation, but just for a minute I thought "Damn, look what being bitter does to you". Now I wasn't an idiot, I knew I was going to be seeing these people so I dressed up, had perfect hair, and perfect makeup. I did choose clothes that made me look HOT and a few told me so, including Nancy's husband. I think I am starting to get used to that and I don't think "no I'm not, but thank you" anymore. The reality is that I felt good about myself and the choices my family and I have made, including this surgery and would not change the direction our lives have taken for anything or anyone. But, seeing so many people from my old life just being stagnant, or worse still degrading before my eyes, made me a little sad. I have discovered a life I enjoy and deserve and I wish everyone else would do the same, but I am not responsible for their choices and will not feel guilt for what my family has accomplished. That also means that they will not keep my family out of a hobby we enjoyed a long time before we ever met any of these people.

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