ladywolfsong
starting over again...
Sep 22, 2012
So. After some back and forth, Dartmouth-Hitchcock refused to do WLS on me. I was in the hospital once...I think it was last August or something, I don't remember...but the team decided that I am too emotionally unstable for WLS. Ha. They said if I could stay out of the psych hospital for 2 years minimum they would reassess my stability and think about it then. That isn't likely to happen anytime soon. I have had 3 or 4 hospitalizations since they rejected me, the most recent one being August of this year. I was told twice this year, by 2 different hospitals, that they couldn't help me...that meds are not the answer for me...that I need to work on my PTSD and some skills training to handle it. OK. Fine. I don't go back to the hospital. I am not getting everything I need from therapy at this point. But that is another issue for another day.After giving up for a year, I am back to fighting. I am fluctuating right around my highest weight ever even though I have made several dietary changes. My highest weight recorded is 293, when I weighed myself last week it was 291. I have been afraid to get on the scale since then. Dartmouth won't take me. Fine. My psychiatrist and therapist were willing to fight for me to get the surgery. They have known me for about 5 years. They would know whether I can handle this better than someone looking at some statistics. I think Dartmouth is afraid I will fail and more than worried about me, they are worried about their record and percentage of successes. But I decided not to push them into something they were very vocal about not wanting to do. I was actually afraid it could compromise my care, working with people who didn't want to work with me.
Well, now I am investigating working with Fletcher Allen. The Bariatric program is located in Williston VT, which is an hour and a half from here. If they accepted me, it would mean a lot of long trips back and forth, several times a month for awhile. I would ideally want to move closer if it worked out....Montpelier, for example, would put us only 25 minutes away. I don't know. But I will put my application in the mail on Monday and cross my fingers, hold my beath, pray....
