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so like the title suggests.. my intention of posting a 1 year post op update wasn't quite enough to get me to actually POST it... and i know why... i had a goal in my mind to lose 100 pounds by my 1 year but obviously i didn't reach that. And why should i be disappointed about that? I had lost 92 pounds, taking most of my vitamins, dropped 6 dress sizes, feel much better in my skin, and started to feel more confident! Nothing at all to be ashamed of! But after doing a bit of soul searching i realized there was something i was ashamed of and rightfully so! I didn't meet my goal of working out regularly to ensure my body stays strong while losing weight... nor have i been eating the way that i know i should. Sure.. i haven't been "stretching" my pouch but i've recently caught myself snacking on the wrong things! carbs, chocolate, fast food.. all things i should ONLY have during special occassions and all things that got me to where i was pre-surgery. So net:net i'm not only disappointed about not reaching my goal because i know that i didn't do EVERYTHING possilbe to reach it but i'm also scared of these habits creeping back in when i had a goal in mind, and that makes me feel more like a quitter than i have in years.  
My partner is what i call "a closer", and i recently got a reminder of that first hand when she rallied all night long to win a contest we'd entered. Whenever she says she's going to do something she does it, no matter what it takes, and her ability to perservere when everyone else has quit is what makes her a "winner". I have ALWAYS admired that about her and it has always shone a light on my shortcoming in that area. Actually, i realize i'm quite the opposite, when things are almost done, i tend to back off of them and 'sabotage" myself in some way not to get it. I've worked on this and thought that i'd made progress but i'm realizing that i'm backsliding and I've GOT to get back on track. Hopefully, writing this down and making my way through a short weight GAIN have reinvigorated me and i'll do what i know i should.. I'm starting the next chapter of this journey by repeating this affirmation to myself:  I DO deserve this happiness, I DO deserve to be healthy, I DO deserve to look in the mirror and like what i see, I DO deserve it ALL... I have worked hard and I WIll NOT let my hard work be overshadowed by a few moments of weakness or by my fear of success! 

I'm sure my next entry will be lighter and all about my wins but i needed to take a moment to acknowledge my recent challenges. But I feel i should end this by sharing my wins:I currently weigh 158.5 so  I'm down 94.5 pounds since 2/27/11 and i'm wearing size 8 dresses and size 9-10 jeans down from size 20 dresses and size 22 jeans! Not too shabby!

I hope all is well OH family!

super quick update!!
I have now updated my weightloss and realized today that at 162.9 pounds I've officially gone from Obese to Overweight. While many folks wouldn't be overjoyed to see a BMI of 29.8 I am delighted that for the first time in 10 years I am considered NORMAL as far as my weight goes. I know that i still have a ways to go for me to accomplish my personal weightloss goals but i have made MAJOR strides over the last year...
I'm super proud of my accomplishment and can't wait to update that i'm no longer in the Obese BMI either. :)
Happy New Year OH family! 

So.. it's been a few weeks since i hit my 9 month milestone but i want to hold myself accountable to my commitment to update every 3 months or so.. so here i am!!
As i re-read my 6 month update i can't help but smile at the NSV's i experienced and think to myself.. yep! i still feel the same way now as i did then! It never gets old that i can cross my leg under myself as i sit at my work desk and the more i do it, the longer i can and the more i notice my body becoming a small package... it's kinda crazy for me actually!
i think it was 8 weeks ago that i went shopping and finally said: i need pants for work so i've gotta buy something! How did i last so long without really doing a ton of shopping you may ask? Well my size 14/16""goal" pants that i kept in the depths of my closet got me through! But i had been rolling them up to keep them on for at least a month and that was beginning to look pretty rediculous! So i had to shop.  I was truly expecting to barely squeeze into a 13 but i was pleasantly surprised that i could go into ANY shop and fit an 11/12! It was so exciting for me because that meant i could no longer shop at the "fat" store and believe me i tried! i went to the usual haunts first and found everything was falling off so i hesitantly walked into White House / Black Market nervous that the sales ladies would stare at me like i was crazy for even walking INTO the store.. i know most of you ladies on this journey can relate.. but to my surprise a blessed angel came right to me and asked if she could help me shop.. i obliged and had an amazing time trying on all of the clothes she brought in to me. She was really good at her job too b/c she told me that i needed a size 10 pant  and jacket and 8 or medium in dresses. I, of course, argued with the poor woman so she brought what i asked and come to find out.. she's right! i bought a jacket in size 10, a dress in size 8 and a pair of size 12 pants. I realize now that i should have bought the 10's but i still wasn't comfortable showing that much of my shape then so i opted for the looser pant... which.. i can't say i regret b/c i was comfortable in them right away but i can say i kinda wish i had listened b/c i'm now holding them up with a belt! LOL!!
So here i am... 88 pounds lost, size 10 pants, medium (sometimes SMALL) tops and size 8 dresses.. i'm almost down to my HS clothes size though i 've still got about 30 pounds to lose to reach that weight but i'm not rushing it!! I'm truly enjoying every moment and every stage of this journey and i'm starting to prepare myself for maintenance!!
I will hit my 1 year at the end of February so i've still got a little bit of honeymoon time to enjoy but i am prepping for it anyway. LOL! Speaking of honeymoons.. i got engaged in September!! It was everything i could have dreamed it would be.. i have been with my partner for 7 years but we are finally going to make ourselves official and i can't wait to get myself into a beautiful wedding gown!
More to come in my next update.. but happy holidays all and i've attached a before and current pic of me so you can see my progress!

i CANNOT believe 6 months have already passed since my surgery!! Time has flown by and life has been treating me oh so well!! i also can't explain how happy i am these days. Not only have i lost 70+ pounds but i've also gained my old confidence back!  While i'm nowhere near done with my journey, i have settled into it well and am really enjoying every stage.. i can cross my legs now, i can sit indian style, i don't worry about flights anymore and i feel good about myself in social situations again.. i even raced my gf in the Atlanta airport without concern that i would look stupid or die of exhaustion!  These are my NSV's to date and i can't say that i truly expected i would reach them this quickly. Sure, others have lost the weight MUCH more quickly than me but i can't say i can complain about the way my body looks clothed and unclothed which was a major concern i had about dropping weight so quickly. Do i have loose skin? yes.. a little and mostly in my arms but i truly haven't done anything to tighten them either...  so that's my next goal! Continue to eat right, lose weight at this pace and EXERCISE a bit to strengthen and tighten.. 
Here's to another 6 months of health and happiness OH family and thanks to all for your support!!

Here's a photo of me with my ( size 0) bestie at her wedding!!


    

boo.. i gained weight this week. i generally get on the scale every day and noticed this past Saturday morning that i had gained .4 pounds.. sure it's not even half of a pound but it's something! So i watched my diet and exercise but knew that i had drinks on Friday night and that i would be out again that Saturday night and would have at least another drink so i was nervous for sure! LOL! So of course on Sunday morning when i hopped on the scale i wasn't overly surprised to see another .6 pound gain.. eek at that point i had gained 1.1 pounds from my  "official" weigh in the Thursday before. Now i HAD to do something.. here i am almost 5 months from surgery and experiencing a regain?! it was a little scary!  I knew i had splurged a bit too much this week and that i was coming off of a 4 pound loss last week so i wasn't expecting huge numbers on the scale this week, but i definitely wasn't expecting a gain!! So i worked a bit harder to eat right and get a bit of exercise in but knew it was an uphill battle. i did manage to lose .7 of the regained pounds so my "official" weigh in this week is only .4 above my weigh in last week. i hope this week i'm able to lose a little bit ( at least the weight i've gained! ) and i'm planning to eat right and stay away from the alcohol!! LOL!
Net: net: I should have made better choices this week once i saw that i wasn't in a downward trajectory.. i'll do better this week though! 

Happy Thursday!!

hi all, i know it's been a bit since i've updated but life has gotten in the way of my updates!! things are going well and the weight is continuing to come off slowly but surely.  I'm at 4.5 or 18 weeks out from surgery and i sure won't complain about 57 pounds gone forever!!
What i will complain about though is the hair loss. i was so hopeful that i would only shed a little for a short period of time but i've been shedding since April and i'm not seeing any signs of slow down. My hair actually feels thinner. This is super scary for me b/c i LOVE my hair and it was just getting to a length i was happy with. I'm hoping i don't have to cut it off to keep it from looking stringy. And now that i've hit Onederland.. i was really hoping to treat myself with a summer  hairdo!! Now i'm afraid of what a dye job will do to it. I have a dr. appt coming up with a dermatologist so i'm hoping that i can get some help with this! 

All in all.. i still feel this is the best thing i've ever done for myself and i'm excited to see what the next few months bring!!

it's hard to believe that almost 3 months ago i had my RNY surgery. The months leading up to surgery seemed to drag and now that it's happened time is flying by me! Now that i've gotten myself into the routine of water, vitamins, and protein i'm feeling more back to normal. I'm not mourning the loss of foods as i did before and realize that for the most part, i eat alot of the same things over and over again and it hasn't bored me. Maybe that's what it's like to be on a healthy diet. You don't feel deprived but you also don't feel like you're about to explode either.
I think my weight loss has settled into a bit of a pattern as well. i'm losing approx. 3 lbs a week this month and i'm happy with that. i hope the streak continues at least until i'm in Onederland which is only 11 pounds away now! Its so surreal to me that only 3 months ago i couldn't imagine myself getting below 220 let alone under 200.. but now i do see that as not only a possibility but a fact. It will happen. and that feels really good to say.
On the negative, i got my first cold/virus since surgery this week and let me tell you.. i've been super sick! i was worried about what i could do for myself when this happened but all that worry was for nothing. I'm able to have soup and tea and popsicles and the only thing that's not the same is the 7Up and truthfully i haven't missed it. So yet again i've been surprised by how little my surgery has "hindered" my life... 

Hope everyone is happy and healthy!!

Never before would i have thought i'd be THAT excited to say those words! LOL! But i am!! My BMI went from EXTREMELY OBESE to just OBESE this week with my MASSIVE 6 lb weight loss. Just last week i was whining about my body being stuck in the 220's and me not being able to break through that barrier and this week instead of creeping down a couple pounds i BUSTED through with 4 lbs to spare!

and with that I've met my 1st mini goal!!!  

Now i'm on my way to mini goal #2: Get below 208!! I know it  will happen in time and with the progress i've seen this week I'm laser focused to eat/drink right so that it can happen faster. This past week, i've had protein shakes, smoothies, soup, seafood and minimal carbs and had a successful week. So i'm gonna stick to that formula and hope i see similar results. Now, im not expecting to see 5-6 pounds this week but 2-3 would be GREAT but a loss in general will be accepted.. 

I'm pumped!! My 39.6 BMI wouldn't even make me eligible for WLS unless i had comorbidities so this is a HUGE leap in the right direction. 

I'm so proud of my progress this week so i'm gonna go and let myself bask in my scale victory!!!

week 8.. i'm 2 months out and total weight loss to date is 30 pounds and some change. I'm officially 222.7 as of this morning meaning i lost a whopping 1.3 pounds this week. This would be fine, actually GREAT weight loss if i hadn't had surgery.. but i did and i'm getting messages from around me that i'm not using my tool as i should. i know it's true but damn it.. i'm trying! I'm feeling not only the restriction of my belly this week but also of my mind. i'm trying hard to make better choices but i guess it's being perceived around me that i'm eating the same way i did before surgery.. which was not a good look. So, how do i change that.. or do i even care to change it?! This journey is about me.. and my health and my primary concern should be eating healthier for my life but i'm not at the maintenance stage yet and i have to accept that and do the best i can to follow the appropriate diet.
Time will tell if i can adjust.. i hope i can.. i know i can...

SN: still not under that flipping 220 mark that i'm always stuck at. hopefully next week b/c it's starting to feel VERY familiar not getting under that weight for me...

Happy Easter OH fam! 

Sooo.. today was my official 7 week weigh in and while i got on the scale 2 days ago and it said i was 223.3 i got on today and i'm up to 224.0. At first i was a little taken aback at the increase on the scale... i mean i don't weigh myself daily so i never really see the day to day fluctuations on the scale and i have to admit i'm now glad i don't!
I'm not feeling like i got jipped on the scale or anything either so i had to think about why that was. And if i'm honest, which i've promised myself i would be i've been towing the line ALOT since surgery and i really need to get myself back on track. Here are my confessions:

1. I've picked up smoking again.. i know how dangerous it is, especially for me after WLS and considering I have asthma, but i just haven't been able to walk away from it. i told myself it was going to be my only vice now that i've had surgery. Well i obviously lied to myself there as well because this isn't my only confession. Truth is i've been testing the waters waaay too much after being only 6-7 weeks out of surgery.
2. I'm eating whatever i want, when i want. While i'm hyper aware of what calories/ sugars/ fats I'm consuming at any given time i'm not journaling my food so i don't have a picture of what the day looked like. And while i think i have a great memory when it comes to details my mind is truly like a sieve and i can't even remember how many grams of protein i've consumed for the day! Not good. Not to mention, i'm not supposed to have sweets at all and i've bitten into chocolate cake,  a cupcake, strawberry ice cream, and little dark chocolate morsels. Why you ask, mostly to see if i could.. again testing the waters. I've also gotten myself to the point where i can have bread too. My Dr's don't recommend this until you're 6 months out, but here i am.. eating it.  Don't get me wrong, i'm happy that i can have a taste of things i like and that i'm tolerating just about everything quite well, but if i'm not journaling then i don't have a true picture of ANYTHING, not what i'm missing in my diet or where i am in regards to calories. This has got to change right now!
3. I'm not taking ALL of my vitamins either. i'm taking my multi and b12 the way i should but  i'm taking calcium like 1x / day instead of 3 and i haven't been taking my iron at all. I've just got to make time to do this. That is all.

While i'm struggling in those areas i can say positively that i've started working out. I'm doing Zumba and i like it so far. I do want to incorporate more walking and should invest in a bodybugg or something to track my burn. I know that i've entered a new lifestyle and i'm so happy with my journey thus far but if i truly want to see the results i'm seeking i need to use my pouch in the best possible way and I'm going to start right now. Just b/c i've messed up a bit doesn't mean that i should continue doing so. I struggled with that before and i'm not going to let that be a problem for me going forward.. any suggestions for getting these things on track will be appreciated!

Hope everyone is happy and healthy! Have a great weekend!