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 So this post  will serve as my 6 week update, though i'm 2 days from 7 weeks! I haven't had much time to post due to work travel but i had some amazing NSV's that i had to share here! 

1. I flew comfortably for the first time in 8 years! i was in a row with 2 men ( which usually presents a space issue) and fit in my seat without overflowing into the next person's!! it was AWESOME. I know i've only lost 30lbs and still have a way to go but i'm so happy with the differences i've already noticed in that regard.

2. We were in NY for my partner's birthday this past weekend and i was able to comfortably walk around the city and keep up with her.. it was GREAT! She even noticed that i wasn't wheezing or needing to take many breaks. I even had energy to tour the city during the day and go out at night.. something else i haven't done in years.. 

3. My clothes FIT! I work in a professional environment so i have a few suits and skirts/dresses i used to wear. But because of weight gain and flab i haven't been able to wear them. As i was packing for my NY trip i realized i could pack whichever suits/skirts i wanted! i not only fit them but actually liked the way i looked. I'm getting excited again about dressing for the office.

Those are the major wins over the last few weeks but the scale has also creeped down  an additional 3lbs, so that's great too. It's crazy to me that i haven't been overly worried about the scale these last 2 weeks and i hope that continues too. I can't express enough how happy i am that I chose to have RNY but it's so true that everyday just gets better and better!

I feel that emotionally i struggled my first few weeks and wondered if i'd made the right decision but now that i'm used to my diet and feeling healthier I'm able to appreciate everything in my life so much more! I'm more excited for what's to come and looking for opportunities to hang with friends and family!!

ing my RNY!!! 

So i am very happy to say that the scale is again moving in the negative direction!!
I can't say how happy that makes me!! I've just decided to really focus on each day and work to get my protein, liquids, and vitamins in and now that i'm 1 month out.. start a bit of exercise! If i continue to do what i know i'm supposed to do the weight has no choice but to continue coming off.

I guess i just wanted to be one of those people that just drop huge amounts of weight  in the first couple months but at this rate it seems i'll lose a healthy 10 pounds each month which will get me to my goal in a year. I can DEFINITELY  live with that!!
Speaking of goals, my first mini-goal is only 11 pounds away now... every time i would attempt to lose weight i'd get stuck at 220 and not really get below that. I think the last time i was under 220 was in my Junior year of college - about 8 years ago and that weight of 208 is my second mini-goal. I know that i'll get there and working toward them will be quite the ride!

Oh yea.. met with my NUT today and she was extremely proud of me. She couldn't believe how diligently i was following my diet and how much i already knew about the food i'm putting in my body.. it made me feel great! Not to mention.. she cleared me to move on to more solid food now!! i'm stoked!!
Week 5 better watch out!!

So last Thursday i hit 3 weeks post RNY. I think the reason my update is so late has something to do with hitting my first plateau!!
Only 3 weeks in here i am 7.5 lbs down and i STOP losing weight! Needless to say, i was devastated to see a 0 loss on the scale and had my first thoughts of OMG what did i do to my body?! Don't get me wrong, i definitely expected to hit a stand still at some point.. just not 3 WEEKS IN!! and i started to doubt myself and the surgery in general. I started to crave things i can't have like cake, and chocolate and recognized my overeating as the coping skill it always was for me. I started mourning the loss of my FOOD!!
Thursday was a tough day, no doubt, but Friday i woke up re-motivated thanks to my babe who sent me an article discussing the effects of RNY in the first few months after surgery. It turns out my first plateau in the first month isn't exactly uncommon but more the norm! i couldn't believe it! and truthfully it made me feel like: ok, maybe i'm not messing this up but my body is just not ready to release those pounds right now. Once i allowed myself to accept it, i was able to move on. 
I'm getting excited for this week's weigh in though and i'm hoping to at least move the needle a bit. But if i don't, i'll just review my week and see if there was anything from a diet and exercise standpoint i could have done differently and if not, then just accept it. Sometimes these things happen and in the overall picture of my journey to better health i'm making major strides. Just yesterday, my surgeon told me that i've lost 16% of my excess body weight already in only 1 month.. That is insane progress!! So i choose to celebrate my wins and accept that i will face set backs along the way!

Happy Tuesday all!! 

Yesterday marked 2 weeks post RNY for me! Yea! i'm feeling stronger and a bit more energized every day..  and i've managed to lose another 4.4 lbs this week rounding me out to 20 lbs in a month! its crazy!! i can't believe the progress i've made in such a short amount of time. 
I must admit that the liquid diet was starting to weigh on me but thankfully i reached the week 3 diet! i've also noticed that i'm enjoying cooking quite a bit for my partner. Even though i can't really eat much of what i'm cooking i'm getting major satisfaction from feeding those around me. I'm also finding that my awareness of calories and what's actually in food has exponentially increased and i'm realizing that there are quite a few tasty ways to decrease the fat/calories/sugar in some of my partner's favorite dishes. Considering i'm not working right now, it's been great to learn as much as possible about our nutrition. 
i have to admit that i'm still struggling to get in my protein every day. i'm just starting to add unflavored protein to some of the soft foods i can have now so hopefully that will help. i'm hoping to not have to continue my protein shakes much longer if possible. 
Emotionally i'm also doing much better than last week. i'm continuing to feel optimistic about my surgery and really trying to enjoy the journey as it comes..

Hoping everyone is well and continuing to progress on their goals!!

So... i'm finally on the losers bench! Yea!! I just had my first week home weigh in on Thursday and lost 2.7 pounds.. which is awesome considering i'm only 1 week out from surgery.

Speaking of surgery, it went really well. My doctors said that they were really happy with my results and that i came through beautifully!! Even in the recovery room i felt surprisingly better than i thought i would. I also got lucky enough to have an awesome deluxe room with a great view! I was in high spirits and knew i would be out in a snap and be on my way to Onederland!

Unfortunately though,  i had a minor complication on Friday so my doctor's kept me an extra day just to be sure that i wasn't experiencing any major complications... turns out, i wasn't!!

So i made it home on Sunday and continued my clear liquid diet.. boy am i tired of protein shakes already!! i'm also drinking Isopure since it's high in protein but i really am missing food.  i mean i'm not craving junk food at all but i  would love some seafood or potatoes or SOMETHING!! I'm also working hard to get my liquids and vitamins in too.. it's so crazy that i'm struggling to get 8 oz of liquid down right now..

Something else that confuses me is my calorie intake.. i'm having 3 protein shakes a day at 150 each and i'm also having soup which pushes 350 or more calories.. to me that seems like ALOT! Even when i have just protein shakes which is gross, i'm around 600 -900 calories a day... shouldn't i be around 500 or so?

I'm just wondering ..How is everyone getting their protein in if they're not taking in large amounts of calories... 

I'm also feeling a little depressed today.. which i guess is normal? Up until today i've been so upbeat about my recovery and steadily taking things one day at a time but today.. i went to the mall for my walk and found myself struggling to get around after a bit and also not wanting to be around all of the people there... it was strange! I usually love the mall! But today, i'm emotional about the yucky stuff i'm eating and tnot being able to join my friends for dinner since there is nothing soupy that i can eat.. though i'm trying i have not been able to get myself out of the funk today...

Hopefully tomorrow will bring a better day and my usual positivity!! Good night OH fam!

So i'm on day 2 of my liquid diet and while yesterday i felt positive and knew i could do this, today i'm hungry and thinking about food ALOT. I haven't cheated and have no intention of doing so but today i'm missing my chocolate and my coffee and my bread.  
My rational mind understands why i'm doing this diet and has fully embraced it, but today... my belly is NOT on board!! Not even the fact that today is "Friday" has been able to pull me out of my food funk..

Here's to hoping tomorrow is a little easier...

 Until this morning that is! LOL! The truth is.. i've been on this weight loss journey for so long that it wasn't really hitting me that i'm going to be having surgery in 23 days. I've NEVER had surgery before and for whatever reason that fact JUST hit me today! 

Over the last few weeks, this whole surgery thing has turned a corner and finally become a reality. i first started my journey with Cedar's Sinai  in 2008 after multiple failed diet attempts. At that time, i was sure i wanted to have the band because it was reversable, ie; far less permanent.! I remember thinking to myself that i could get over my needle phobia for fills since they wouldn't be that often and that slower weight loss was a good thing. But i now know that for me, i was solely after the band because i would be able to eat just about anything i wanted in moderation. Yet again, even at that juncture, i was sabotaging myself!! I LOVE sweets, and i LIVE for ice cream.  I know my eating habits, and i know myself well enough to know that i would have been sneaking milkshakes and  chocolate coffees into my diet as soon as possible, and convincing myself i had no IDEA why i wasn't losing weight!!.

But lucky for me i was with an insurance company that felt i needed to try one last attempt at losing weight on my own before they would approve my surgery, and in hindsight i agree that i wasn't quite ready! i knew i needed to really address not only my eating habits but also my ability to lose 30 -50 pounds and inability to keep it off. So i joined Cedar's weight management program, and attended weekly group sessions/weigh ins and ate the HMR meals they provided.  I also took it one step further and started weekly individual therapy to address things that potentially triggered my desire for sweets. 

Again, i lost 45 pounds in 6 months and felt i had a system that was working. Once i'd completed the program i was free to resubmit my application to insurance but i felt i had it down and could lose on my own. So for a year, i did nothing and though i was exercising and trying to make better food choices after 4 months or so i started to see myself gaining very slowly but steadily. Of course i panicked and stopped exercising and eating right all together.

At that point, i started researching surgery again and THIS time i knew i wanted not only a weight loss solution but truly a tool that would help me to maintain that loss. I knew my lifestyle would change but obviously after so many failed attempts at maintaining weight loss it needed to. 

So here we are! All fall and winter, i've had appointments and meetings and tests done to verify my candidacy for RNY. My endoscopy uncovered ulcers, so once i treated those and it was determined that i was cleared for surgery i had to wait for my NEW insurance company to validate my candidacy. While i expected it to take weeks, it was literally 1 week and i had my approval!!! I was so excited and relieved that i'd made it through the hoops that I've hardly stopped to consider what this really means!!

I"M HAVING SURGERY ON FEB. 24, which is only 23 days away... Have i done all i can to be prepared mentally, physically, emotionally?! I hope so! But, i still have time to wrap my head around the reality that my surgery date is almost here... but until then, i suppose being a little scared is normal?!