sudian B.
Stressed..with new planss.
Sep 11, 2009
So i still havent seen or heard any information basedd on being approvedd...so im still pulling my hair outta my scalp! ughh! this is so damn annoyingg..Anywayss..so im stuck..my birthday is in a week..[sept.17th] and not only do i have no plans i just dont have the funds or means to celebrate it..but the besides that the reason why im stuck is because..i have a friend from cali..and i applied for SANTA MONICA COLLEGE && im considering going through with the whole process and moving out there..but my issue is..i dont know anyone..and all my "family" ;lives in NYC...i reallly reallyyy realllyyy wanna go to californiaa...i want a change of scenery and just wanna run away from my headaches..heartchaches and migraness..
Truth is..im considering closing up shop in NYC and just going for the go..but im scared to go and have absolutely NO ONE..how am i gonna survive? am i gonna get a job so soon!? am i gon go all the way outthere and be like fcked in the game like i am here?...theres so much question running thru my head and its really bugging me..
I didn t wake up one day and say "oh im going to cali"..no i gave it manyy of thinking time..
i considered the pro's and cons..i thought about
doing a brief CNA[certified nurses assistant] course for the next 6-12 weeks..
try to work and save..but i know if i cudnt get a job thus far getting one so quick isnt gonna work..
try and get myself sitiated as much possible..leave ny in late december..early jan..so i can be there a month and change b4 classes start so i can sort myself out down there..basically looking for jobs and meeting with professors and makin my self accustomed to the area of the school..ie' public transportation..ohh and as far as surgery i was looking up some local bariatric clinics out there..that wud help me continue my process after surgery and getting myself on track as far as the surgery goes..
im so unsure of my plans..cuz my mom already said once i go outthere..shes changing her number so when i start struggling i cant call her..and try running back to her..i wanna prove her wrong and get it right and do the damn thingg and get outta this badluck city and try as much possible in cali..honestlyy.
Guyss lemme know what u think..
sudian..
