Lori M.

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Wake up call!!!! I have not been the best steward with all that God has given me to share and although my surgical trials have been many...I shouldn't be silent about the risks and the rewards. My blogs were regular in my first year post op, but I have "fallen off the wagon"...I know there are so many who read these blogs and learn from our experiences, so I will do my best to update everyone here as much as I can. Last weekend marked my 2 year anniversary. I will still say that having this surgery was one of the best things I have ever done for myself. The road has not been easy, but in hindsight I'd go through it all over again to get to this place. Not just physically, but spiritually and emotionally also. I have learned so much through everything I have been through. What have I been through some may ask?!? Well to get the long version you would have to read my blogs from last year, but in adding to that, I finshed off 2008 with a total of 5 unrelated surgeries. 4 of which were related to issues caused by the gastric bypass... bowel obstruction/ hernia repair April of 08, hemorraghed April of 08 from previous surgery, incisional hernia repair Nov 08, and finally a sphincterotomy in December of 08. Since most of the bigger surgeries were elaborated on in previous blogs I will address only the last surgery, the sphincterotomy.  This surgery was the result of almost 2 years of lose BM's...basically what happened is that I developed a fissure or tear in my rectum. For several months of the last year I would have problems or pain that I thought was hemmoroids, but being a "lady"'...I chose not to seek medical care. In November the pain became horribly excrucitaing so I finally broke down an saw a specialist. Had the problem been addressed sooner it likely could have been fixed with medication, but mine had become so severe it required a surgery. Sooooo my advice was and still is, when something comes up please do not blow it off as no big deal. Both my bowel issues and my rectal issues could have been taken care of as smaller issues but becuase of lack of attention and/ or just assuming..."oh this must just be how it is after a gastric bypass"...they became big issues.

So two years post op, here are my stats:

High weight 242 lbs
current weight 115 lbs

My daily truths:
My weekly range is anywhere from 114 lbs to 118 lbs and I have stayed in this range for one whole year now. I still have days where I am not happy eating at all, and others where I am a ravenous beast. For the sake of complete honesty, I am not the best eater...I do not drink protein shakes nor do I eat my proteins first anymore, but I do try to get as much protein in as possible. I still do not drink sodas as a regular practice but may have a small one once or twice a month. I really enjoy fruit but I equally enjoy chocolate. I weigh myself at least twice a day for fear that if I don't know EXACTLY where my weight is from day to day I might regain and lose control. I still look at my body and am disappointed in what I see. I am happy with my body fully clothed, but naked disgusts me. I do not plan to have a TT at this time. The body I see is the one I will have to live with. I have a greater sense of confidence but do not like to openly discuss my weight. Most people think I'm too skinny, but I am PERFECTLY happy this size. To a person who has been overweight their whole life there is no such thing as "too skinny"....and I guess that about sums up my random thoughts for tonight. Until next time

It's been awhile since I blogged, so I'm here to check in today. Janie says I need to update my page and  think she's right. :-)
I added some new photos today so everyone can see what my lil 19.8 BMI self looks like now. I still can not believe that the lady in those photos is me. Do I feel skinny, ennhhh, not really. It's all mental I guess. Reading everyone's posts on OH prior to surgery prepared me for the mental challenges that were coming, but now that I'm here it's a wierd place for me. I'm a woman of faith and I know that God is in complete control. I started reading a book recently called "God's Guarantee to Heal You"...at first when I saw the title I thought...interesting, but a lil late don't ya think...but knowing it was God's timing I started reading the book and quickly realized that this book was not so much about healing as it was about our faith in God and in his word. The Bible says that that we all have a measure of faith, and to accept salvation, some of us even more, but it's also a fruit of the spirit...and something that should continue to grow in the life of the believer. The stuff I have been through physically has helped me grow in faith, and seeing God move in my life the way he has recently only helped my faith and trust in him to increase. The weight loss journey I have been on has been a scary ride that has had it ups and downs...sometimes it felt like I was soaring through and doing everything right but then there were days where it all seemed so complicated and nothing was going my way. The end seemed so far away. Isn't that so similar to our Chrsitian walk and our faith in God? It's amazing how God draws paralels in our life.  I am at a happy place weight wise, this is a weight I can't recall ever being..I was younger than 11 for sure, but I feel amazing. Sure I have my "down" days, but I got on this ride called weight loss surgery knowing full well it wasn't always going to be easy. Some people ask, with all that you've been through would you do it again knowing what you'd face? And to that my answer is still a resounding YES! I make the comparsion to the high blood pressure and the long term effects of that on my heart, the heavy breathing when doing any sort of aerobic ativity, the pain in my feet from the bone spurs and just the hatred for the body I was in, and still I say YES YES AND YES.... I wouldn't trade this for the world. I love my new body and the happier person I have become. My faith in God has increased and my love for him grows with each day. I thank God for allowing me the opportunity to get my life and my health in check and to alive today. I can't wait to see what's next!!!

Hi everyone. I am finally well enough to log in and update. It's been a rough week and a half.
The surgery was last Monday 4/7. When I arrived I was determined that they'd be able to find eveything and get me all fixed up and I was right! When they went in to look laproscopically at the bowels they were able to locate an inflammed portion of the bowel and decided to convert to an "open" procedure. Once they got in they found a herniated area with approx 10-12 ft of bowel wrapped around itself, knotted, and in pretty bad shape. The bowel was losing color and some of it was obviously overworked. They pulled all of the bowels out, got them untangled, removed a lot of scar tissue and put everything back in it's place. Immediately they were able to see a positive change in the color of the bowel and considered that part of the surgery a sucess. They proceeded from there with the hysterectomy and were able to remove all of the cancer with that surgery which they also completed as a "open" procedure. All together surgery was 4 hours long. When i woke up I was told the good news. I was intubated with an NG tube going from my nose into the stomach to prevent my stomach or bowels from working too hard during my recovery. I stayed pretty sedated for the first two days but by Tuesday I was able to get up and go for a little walk. That night my surgeon came in and advised that my hemoglobin count was a lil low so they'd be watching me for signs of internal bleeding. Being the eternal optimist, I just knew things would be fine. Wednesday morning at approx 5 am, the nurse came in for my vitals and my blood pressure was 79/46 and my pulse was 128. Within 15 minutes my blood was being taken and within 30 minutes of that my surgeon called and said that I'd be headed to the OR for them to go back in and stop the bleeding. My hemoglobin was 6. So back in I went, and after 2 units of blood and 2 hours of surgery the bleeding was stopped and I was back on the road to recovery. That second surgery made the recovery twice as hard, but with an incision approx 12-13 inches long running the length of my abdomen I couldn't have expected recovey as quick as my previous lap surgeries. So slowly Thursday afternoon they began removing the NG tube, central line (added to give me blood during my second surgery) and getting me weaned off the morphine pump. By Saturday I was eating light amounts of food and Sunday night I was able to be released. Each day gets easier, but it will be a long recovery. I am VERY excited that they were able to fix everything at once and even more grateful at the opportunity to get healthy again. My weight is dangerously low, now at less that 120 lbs on my large 5'5" frame, and I look very sickly and fraile. I know that I am on the road now to a full recovery, but to those of you out there reading this who have "issues" with your bowels or your tummy that you blow off and pretend don't exist just because you prefer being thin over being overweight, please consider your health. I personally allowed my Dr. to blow this bowel issue off for too long, and I thought myself at times that I was just being too whiney, but at the end of the day I knew my body better than anyone else could have and I continued to push the issue until they finally found and resolved my issue. Some may not be so lucky...my bowels were dying off and I'm sure in time could have become a fatal issue.
Thank you to all of you for your messages and emails or concern and love. You guys are wonderful .
Here's to good health and a long and productive life!!!

Lori

Some may or may not know that I was recently diagnosed with cervical cancer. I am also still struggling with bowel issues that have gone on for about 8 months now. Below is a recent post to a message board that gives an update on my condition as of today.

RE: Monday Morning Weigh Ins Response from Lori Mullins at 8:44 AM PST on 03/17/2008 Humble, TX – RNY (01/31/2007) Hello, and long time no... (well, I can't say see) so let's say...Long time no write... My weight is continuing to go in the wrong direction, but there's not much I can really do about it at this point. The Dr's think maybe I have scar tissue adhering part of my bowel to the abdomen, but they can not determine for sure until I have surgery on 4/7. So, until then I just grin and bear it. Here are my stats HW 242 LW ? 125-127 possibly CW 124

RE: Monday Morning Weigh Ins Response from Janie M at 7:39 PM PST on 03/17/2008 Zeeland, MI – RNY (01/22/2007) – Jon L. Schram, M.D., F.A.C.S. I'm sorry to hear that the weight keeps dropping (did you ever think you'd hear that?) Is it that you're just not hungry, does it hurt to eat? I hope they find something out on 4/7. Please tell me again what type of surgery you're having? You'll be in my prayers. ***HUGS***

RE: Monday Morning Weigh Ins Response from Lori Mullins at 9:55 AM PST on 03/18/2008 Humble, TX – RNY (01/31/2007) It actually hurts my tummy to eat. It's not daily, but weekly I'll go through these waves of issues. It's been going on for so long that I forget what normal feels like. About 15 minutes after I eat on random days (we've tried to narrow down foods types or other factors and nothing is consistant) but anyway, on random days about 15 minutes after I begin eating my stomach (it's actually my bowels) will begin with these awful sloshing and spitting noises...it's very water park in full action-ish...but it HURTS! Anyone within 15 feet can here the noises and with the noises comes intense pain, you can actually watch the food/ gas moving through the bowels like an alien is moving in my stomach. The only relief is had by pushing very hard into my left side (stomach area) or going into the fetal posiition. I can't sit or stand comfortably, and I break out into cold sweats, and dry heave or get foamies. This goes on in waves for 2-3 hours until the pain and noises subside (which puts me right to sleep) and then for a day or two afterward I am very nauseous. Just as I begin eating normal again for a couple of days, the episodes will return. It all began last summer when I had the small bowel obstruction, but now there is no sign of an obstruction. The general surgeon I'm working with now says that there is a possibility that scar tissue could have built up around and adhered a portion of the bowels to the wall of my abdomen to cause this or I could have bowels stuck in a herniated area in my abdomen...What we are doing on 4/7 are two surgeries. My GYN will do the hysterectomy to remove the cancer, which has only minimally invaded beyond the cervix, and a general surgeon will go in and "explore" my bowels to try to find out what is going on there. If he can't locate a problem he'll send me to a professor at Baylor who understands the risks and side effects of gastric bypass and see if he can figure out what's going on. As som eof you may know, my surgeon retired, BUT even if he hadn't my hysterctomy is being done close to home so I found a general surgeon out here who's not necessarily a gastric bypass surgeon, but can do whatever is needed to run through the bowel system. So that's what's going on.

It's been some time since I last posted. To be honest, it's been mainly because I'm not sure how I'm feeling or how to express what I feel these days. My weight loss has been great, but there seem to be some lingering issues that must be worked on. The person in the mirror is different, but the person inside is still the same. I've always been happy with who I am inwardly, and I don't think that's something I will lose with any amount of weight loss, but at the same time I struggle with the attention. I've always been a very happy go lucky, glass is half full type person. Nothing gets to me and nothing brings me down. My faith is increasingly strong and my trust in my creator is what drives me. I have a great life, and a wonderfully supportive loving husband along with two amazing children. But still....I find myself 108 lbs lighter today and the attention being drawn to the outward me is something I'm not used to yet. I feel like everyone who sees me is drawn to the outward appearance and feels the need to discuss their thoughts, ideas, concerns, and either admiration or lack of for the new body I have. Having spent my entire life drawing people's eye and attention away from the flaws in my large body and frame, now suddenly all of the attention is being drawn right to it, and I have a feeling of insecurity. It seems most of my friends and family think I am much too thin, but I am not sure how to feel about it. In fact I just wish I could scream out really loud to the world one time "Can't we just talk about something else???????????" and be done with it.  When I was big, people were too fearful of addressing my weight issue until I said I was having surgery and then it became a time for everyone to share how they "truely" felt about my weight and how happy they were that I was getting it under control. Now, it seems the world world thinks it's comfortable or much easier to voice their opinions because "by golly she's not fat anymore, she must enjoy talking about her weight"...But that's not true. I had this surgery to get my life back, I had it to get healthy and yes I did want to look good and feel better about my body, but there was SO much more than just that. So I find myself near my 1 year anniversary questioning, where is the stopping point, what's a healthy new weight to stop at, what looks good, do I even know or understand what looks good, am I overlooking something becuase I want so much to be thinner? There are so many questions in my mind daily about my own idea of what a healthy weight will be for me. I have come to the idea that where my body finally stops losing weight is where it will stop, if people don't like that, then too bad. It's my body, can't I be happy with it? So maybe I need counseling or maybe I'm just a normal person who has lived their life in a large body and wants to be healthy happy and thin. I am 5'5" tall weigh 133 lbs and wear a  size 4 pants and a small shirt. Yes, I am small, but what i see in the mirror is obviously not what everyone else sees. I am taking all my vitamins, eating well and taking good care of myself, and am happy with the person I am. Please stop pressuring me to fit some image you have of what looks good on me. I guess that just about sums up my thought life. Who knows...

I can't believe that I am actually "normal" now. My BMI is 24.7 which makes my weight now in the normal range. I am no longer morbidly obese or even overweight..I'm NORMAL! WOO HOOOOO!!!!!!!!
More importantly I spent my whole weekend this last weekend at fall festivals and threw a birthday party for my baby boy who turned 10 and my feet never had to yell at me. They seemed to do very well considering the amount of time I spent on them. In the old days my dogs would have been barking after an hour of being up with them  YEAH ME!!!! Anyway, I feel great. Still having a little tummy trouble here and there but nothing serious. More like cramps occasionaly but I haven't narrowed it to a specific food or food type, so I'm not sure what's causing it. My housing situation is taking up alot of time these days.  We are having a new home built and selling ours. I just hope our sells before the market in Houston goes sour like it is in other places.
Anyway, I'm down officially 93 lbs now and am wearing a size 8 and some 6's. Small shirts. I feel great! 

I was looking at my profile and realized it had been awhile so I need to update my blog. As of today I have lost 83 lbs and am almost 8 months out. I have about 21 lbs to go to reach my goal. I feel great but  still have some tumnmy trouble from time to time. For the first time in 8 months though, my mind is finally getting off the surgery and moving on to other things. I have found that this surgery completely takes over most areas of your life for several months because you are either discussing it with others, explaining how you'd lost so much weight, thinking about what foods you eat, being fearful of eating new ones, or just plain worried about meals. I have spent many hours each day since surgery thinking about the effects of the surgery on my life. I can't say other than a few hiccups here and there (obstruction issues) that I have one negative thought about the surgery, but it's time to move on. Time to worry about, think about, and focus on other , more important things in life.  My focus is changing and my life is getting back to normal so to speak. My Mom stopped by today to see me and was shocked at the skinny woman she saw. My mother has always struggled with 10 lbs here or there, but she's always had a nice figure in my book. As I have lost more weight I look more and more like her and I think today that really hit her in a big way when she saw me. I had actually called her because I was frustrated about clothes and was hoping she could give me some hand me downs to get me through the next few months. I bought several new outfits about a month or so ago for my vacation and they are all too big and I am at the point where I refuse to buy new clothes again knowing I'll be out of them in another month. For the first few months I could pull off the bigger clothes but throwing a size 16 or 18 on a size 8/10 frame is not working these days so I had to clean out the old closet. Mom brought me  several new outfits and the girls at work (who feel sorry for me) also went through their closets to get me clothes also. I go on a business trip this next week so I needed some suits to wear because Lord knows I'm not spending money on a suit that I'll only wear once.   

I posted this on a message board, but I feel the need to also post it in my blog. I have heard & read that overweight people are discriminated against a lot, but never realized it so much because I've pretty much been overweight my entire adult life. Now that I've lost weight I am beginning to notice subtle things that really bother me. For example this week I was at a business luncheon at a hotel and was approx. 20-30 steps behind a "bigger" girl. The bellhop standing at the door ignored her as she walked in and as I approched the steps he stepped down to where I was grabbed my hand and led me up the stairs. He even got in front of me to open up the automatic door before I entered and tried to guide me after I entered the hotel. The whole scenario struck a chord with me. Why was the bigger girl completely ignored???? And I began to ask myself how many times did I miss these types of things when I was bigger? There have been several situations that were similar to this in recent months where I am beginning to notice a difference in how we are treated small vs. bigger people. One of my fellow January buds from OH says she thinks it might be because we carry ourselves with more confidence these days and people are drawn to us. I'm not sure, but I've watched the Dr. Phil episodes where they put a fat suit on and go into public and realize the differences, but I guess now that I'm witnessing the discrimination first hand I want to scream. 

Along those same lines...After the luncheon was over I was eyeballing the desert kart with an associate and a hotel employee walked up to me and said "you need two of these"....I have to admit I was blown away....I need 2 deserts???????? I've always been the big girl and have always been led away from deserts. My oh my how life has changed!

Well, I had my 6 month check up today with my surgeon (only a few weeks late) and things went well. My labs were fine and he was very pleased with my progress. He said I need to do my walking (atleast 30 minutes a day) and add more resistance training focusing on my back because I have some issues with pain in my back. He says to buy some New Balance walking shoes and walk walk walk. The pains I have been getting in my back he does not think are related to the obstruction as I had imagined, but rather to loss of muscle mass from the weight loss, so he said with added resistance training I should be able to get my back up to par. My weight loss this far is 73 lbs according to both my home scale and his scale which sounds perfect to me. I am still a little ahead of the weight loss curve according to the weight loss calculator on OH, but I can certainly see some slowing of the loss this month.

We discussed the obstruction and lingering issues I have faced with that and he explained a little better what is going on. First of all, the CT scans showed that my pouch was inflamed and swollen when I was hospitilized. The swollen pouch was partially blocking the connection with teh small bowel. He explained that the pouch can be very touchy, and whatever I ate that aggitated it in July will take a while to heal with the medication I am on (Zegerid). He is not concerned about the acess to the pouch with the scope unless I continue to have problems either with eating or with bowel movements. At which time we would have to work through that. Right now for the most part as long as I take my medicine I feel great. I do get a bit more gassy at times, but it's all related, and is easily treated. So, his recommmendation was for me to continue taking the Zegerid for a year then they will wean me off of it and see how my pouch responds. I tried not taking it for a few days before I saw him today thinking he might want to run tests and I started to get crampy again, and when I mentioned this to him, he said that its not a mircale drug and that it needs time to calm my pouch and get it back to normal again. So no matter how gross it is (and it's SUPER Nasty) I will continue to be faithful in taking it until it's completed it's work in my body. So, that's my update for this week. 
Oh wait! One more thing, I spent last week on vacation with my family in California and had a great time. We saw all kinds of wonderful beautiful sights, even got to visit Kat Von D's tattoo shop and she was there. It was neat seeing her in person. I have no tattoos and no plans to get one, but my son idolizes her and I certainly appreciate her talent. She's an amazing artist. But the best part of the trip was that we visited the Sequoia National Forest and climbed up Moro Rock atop the Sierra's. I was able to climb the 350-400 stairs to get to the top and although I was tired, the sight was one I am so glad I experienced. Nothing I have seen in nature was more beautiful than that vision that's forever etched in my memory. Thank God for this WLS or I certainly would not have been able to do that. 

I had several "bad days" last week so I called my surgeon for an appointment on Thursday 8/2. He's not avaible until next week and I'm on vacation, so I have to put the appointment off until after vacation after all. 
Finally found someone who has been through this and can give some input, since I have felt pretty alone in all my questions and had no place to address them before, it'll be nice to speak with someone who knows what I'm going through.