Just a small update

Jul 25, 2009

After a long winter of troubles that were directly related to protein malnutrition (unknown to me until June labs were drawn), things are really falling back into place.  My weight is hovering between 135-138 instead of 116-118.  I can't tell you what a relief it is to have gained some weight back.  It is hard to see myself in the mirror sometimes right now as I adjust to the "new" me again.  When I was horribly thin, I couldn't "see" it in the mirror.  It's just like when I was fat and I never saw myself as fat as I really was.  Point being, I had gotten very thin and my eyes were used to "that" as my norm, now that I've put on 20 pounds I'm having to adjust to the new look.  I'm not bitchin', I sure don't look "bad" just different.  I wore my bikini to Mom's the other day and really felt insecure.  I'm working very hard to accept that this is not only a healthy weight, but that it looks good on me too.  I'll get there.  I'm working on it.

I've been off of Opium now for almost a week.  I'm currently on a round of Flagyl b/c going off of the Opium completely was really hard on my intestines, I went to straight diarrhea for 48 hours. Sleeping was hard at first but I'm adjusting now.  I knew that it wouldn't be easy to come off of an addictive medication like Opium, so I just pushed through and I'm glad that I did. I didn't want to rely on it anymore...or have to be even more addicted to it down the road and try to wean off of it.  Now with the 14 day round of Flagyl and Metamucil I've added back to my diet, I'm getting along just fine.  My bm's are formed again, and my round of Flagyl ends in 6 days.  I'm working hard to eat the right foods, I think I will always struggle with fueling my body the right way.  Brain surgery would've been easier/more effective than weight loss surgery.  The DS gives us so much freedom to eat, but for me some foods do come at a cost.  I *can* eat  anything but white flour or any excessive amount of milk can really wreak havoc on me.  Cravings are hard to overcome, all I can do is just keep trying.  Life with the DS is really forgiving as far as weight gain, but the gas and/or frequent bm's that some foods can give me make eating those foods rather unappealing. 

Starting on Friday of this week I will be stepping down from the dicyclomine.   I take it three times a day and will be working down to just 2 times a day.  If that goes well, I'll take away another dose of it a week or two later.  I'm still taking Metamucil and Chia seeds to help keep productive, formed bm's.  Sometimes the detective work can be a pain, but I NEVER regret my DS, NEVER!!! 

I am reaaallly trying to avoid this revision.  I'll get it if I have to, but I realllly don't want to. 

Lori

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