Irritated

Apr 30, 2011

Bodybugg says I burn an average of 2731 calories a day (last 30 days) and my food log says I eat an average of 846 calories a day for a deficit of 1885 calories a day.  But based on my weight, it says I'm really eating 1471 calories a day!  Now I know that is impossible, I cannot be overestimating by 75%, maybe 20-30% since food labels are notoriously inaccurate, but 75%?!?  This is so annoying.  Why am I such a slow loser?  At this rate, I should be losing 3.5 pounds a week.  But I'm lucky if I lose 2.  Fuck, I'm irritated.  I know I might be building muscle, but not that much.  I'm not working out as much as I should, but really it's the calorie deficit that matters, so exercise is just icing on the cake.  What am I going to do?  Do I have to give up all carbs?  I really don't want to, but maybe I have to.  I have eaten a lot of carbs this month: 1668/29 = 57.5 a day.  But that's still low carb!!!!!  God I hate this.  This was supposed to be easy, but I feel like I'm wasting my first 6 months.  I've only lost 47 pounds in nearly 13 weeks.  Still, that averages out to 3.6 pounds a week and puts me at a total of 72 pounds from my highest.  But most of the rapid loss was in the first month.  It's been about 2-2.5 pounds a week since that time.  Weight Watchers promises that!  But in reality, I probably would only have lost 1/2 pound a week if I was on WW, so I'm still grateful for my sleeve, I just want the math to work in my favor.  It's making me angry and sad and that makes me want to eat junk and stay in bed all day.  They weren't kidding when they said the mental battle is 95% of the work.  At least I am only 16 pounds away from being plain old obese instead of severly obese.  And I'm 49 pounds from being overweight.  

On the plus side, I have lost inches, so that's good.  I actually wore a size 18 pair of jeans today - it gave me muffin top but I could wear it.  But the carb monster has attacked me badly - I've been "starving" all week.  I think I'm PMS-ing like crazy :(   I plugged my weight into a BMR calculator and it was kind of interesting.  At 317 lbs, my BRM was 2190 cal, now at 245 lbs its 1866.  So that's 324 calories less just to exist every day.  If I want to keep my weight loss consistent, I need to make up for that 324 calories every day.  And when I get to goal (not if, WHEN), my BMR will be 1416 - so I'll have to stay at a 1200-1400 calorie diet for life to maintain.  That's OK, I can do that.  

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