Susan L.

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The 3rd day of liquid diet has not been so bad.  I have fought a headache but it has finally gone. I have not been as hungry today, I don't think. I tried a vanilla banana creamy protein shake today, it was a lot better that what I thought it would be.

I had not told all my family(brothers & sisters) that I was having this surgery till yesterday. I emailed them and told them what surgery I was having and gave them the links to my drs and obeisityhelp.com. I just wanted them to read and have time to digest the info.  I am not quite sure how they will react. I can't really say why I haven't told them up to this point, it was just so personal and I have had to jump through so many hoops to get to this point. It has been me and Tim the whole time. Tim has taken me to all my doctors appointments. He has been amazingly supportive. Heck, he is still on this diet and starving with me. LOL!!! My kids, Trish and Sabrina, have also been my motivators.  Anyway, back to the rest of my family I am not sure how they will react. I just know that at this time in my life this is the right decision for me.

12 days till surgery.....  I can't wait till it is over. I want to look better but most importantly I want to feel better. 

I'll post more tomorrow...... Until then........ 

Well, I made it through my first day of liquid diet. I can't say it was fun but I done it! I fought with being light headed and of course hungry. I just ate alot of sf Popsicles and tried to drink a protein drink every 4 hours.

I got out my pre-op diet instructions to look at them again today and I can have 1 vegetable and 1 fruit. OMG! I got so excited. I never in a million years would have thought I would be excited about getting to eat 1 vege and 1 fruit daily but I am. Hopefully, this will help with my  hunger quite a bit.

I have to work 12 hour shifts and that is what worries me. I am afraid that I am going to get really weak and light headed. I just keep telling myself that I am not the only one to have gone through this. I am tough and can do it!

Today (11/28/2009) is my second day and it hasn't been so bad so far. I am working tonight so we will see how it goes. i did pack my protein powders and water, my one little fruit (apple), jello and some broth. So far so good.

Tim is sticking to this diet with me. I have been so impressed. Poor thing, he has been just as hungry as me. We laugh at each other and keep each other motivated. I really don't know what I would do without him at times. Sabrina has been so sweet. She asked today would it bother me for her to heat up something to eat and eat it in front of me. I have a pretty awesome family!!! We put up the Christmas tree today. We struggled with finding all the connectors (we have a pre-lit tree) but finally managed to get all the lights working. It looked pretty when we were done. I think the lack of food has got me to feeling mushy today, have I mentioned that I really love my family. :) Oh dang, if I am like this after 2 days of liquid diet - imagine what I will be like at day 12. :) My poor family!!! LOL!

The thought did hit me today when we were putting up the tree that this will be my last Holiday that I will be morbidly obese. I can't hardly wrap my mind around that yet. I am so ready to have surgery behind me. Tim took off 10 days from work to take care of me during and after surgery. I am not worried about a thing. He will make sure that everything is taken care of. I am so blessed.

On that note, I am at work so I need to do a little work now. Will keep the blog updated on the liquid diet. Until next time.......

Thanksgiving was really nice this year. It was just me and Tim at home. I cooked a pretty good lunch that we both enjoyed. I ate till my fill because I knew that I would have to start the 2 week liquid diet today (11/27/2009).

I am nervous because I have never been on a liquid diet for this long before. I am determined that I will do this and come out of surgery a "switched" person. Ha! I went to the vitamin shoppe and bought the protein mixes that I will need. Crap! That stuff is expensive. I did not expect that.

Tim is saying that he is gonna do this with me(2 week liquid diet). In one way I am so glad that he is but then the other half of me says that he is crazy for even considering it. Sometimes I think he is the sweetest man in the world!

Oh, I was reading my 5/22/09 post and I was talking about being impatient to meet Amelia, well, I am going to be waiting a while before I get to meet Amelia because have a GRANDSON. Trish was told twice that she was having a girl soooooo Oliver was a big surprise! He was born on 7/31/09 & when Trish brought him home to visit - well- there just isn't anything like my grandson in this whole world.

Sabrina has gotten her drivers license! Smart girl passed on her first attempt! Needless to say she has been driving every where. Tim and I took her on a tour of UK and I think that she has pretty much decided that she is gonna be UK bound. It looks like we will be visiting Lexington alot.

Will try and keep posting through out this diet. Until then.....

Dang it's been a long time since I have posted anything. I'm not sure where to start but a lot has changed. Vanderbilt did not live up to what I expected a center of excellence to be.  I just did not feel that Vanderbilt was a good fit for me anymore so I did what I felt I need to do and took myself out of that situation.

I have decided the the Duodenal Switch is the better surgery for me. I chose to go to Dr. John Husted. He is located in Somerset, KY. It is a longer drive for me but I believe this is where I need to be now. 

Of course, Tim took me to my first appointment with Dr. Husted. We both agreed that Dr. Husted seemed to be a personable Dr.  and really knows his stuff. From all the research that I have done so far it seems that the DS will allow me to eat more normally. Somehow the DS makes your body work like a "skinny" person. That's fine with me cause there ain't been nothing skinny about me in a long, long time.

OH! I almost forgot - I have my surgery date already with Dr. Husted - it 12/11/2009. Happy late birthday to me!!!

I am starting my 2 week liquid diet on 11/27/2009, I am going to try really  hard to post through out my experience from here on out.  Until then........

I got good news today. I do not have an auto immune disease. All of my lab work came back good with the exception of my sugar level. It was high of coarse. I never did believe that I had anything like that going on in my body. I still have my doctor scratching his head, wondering where the pancreatitis is coming from. Oh well, the pain is gone. I have been feeling good, thank the Lord!

I have other good news. I have another small accomplishment under my belt. I actually stayed on my elliptical for a whole 10 minutes without stopping!!!!  I know, I know that doesn't sound like a very big deal. Sadly, it is for me. I was not ever able to stay on for more than 6 minutes without thinking I was gonna die. So staying on for 10 minutes made me proud of myself. I wonder how long it will take me to break my latest record?????

Tim has been trying to diet lately and has started jogging again. This is kinda fun. We are both trying to keep each other motivated. Although, I have to admit that we can tempt each other with very bad stuff too. We both love sweets. I'll keep telling myself that SWEETS ARE THE DEVIL!!!!!!! 

I have been trying some new recipes that are diabetic friendly. I tried making some spinach balls. I managed to choke one down and can't say that I loved them. So I'll keep on looking for new recipes. 

Sabrina has gotten her driving permit and has been chauffeuring me every where. She has been doing really well. School will be out for her in a week. I can't believe that she will be a junior. WOW! Where has the years gone. My baby will soon be going to college. **Sigh** 

Trish is coming right along with her pregnancy. She had a glucose test done the other day and thank God it came back normal for her. She says that she has been really tired lately. I can't wait for little Amelia to get here.  I wonder what her personality is going to be like? My first grand baby - I am so impatient to see her!

Oh dang! Alot has happened since the last time I posted.

On 5/9/2009 I was admitted into the hospital for pancreatitis. Oh my gosh, the pain was so bad! I could swear that I had a little alien inside of me with a knife and it was stabbing me from the inside out. I really can't adequately describe the pain. This was the worst attack ever. The doctors can't seem to figure out what is causing the attacks. While I was in the hospital the dr had blood work, CTs, and an ultra sound done. My doctor seems to think that it is an underlying gall bladder problem because that is what the blood work seemed to indicate but is still not sure. He decided to run blood work for auto immune diseases as a precaution. I don't believe anything will come back indicating that type of disease. He is going to keep trying till he finds out what it is. I'll post about those test results as soon as I get them. I was released from the hospital on 5/12/2009. It was so good to finally be home. 

I went back to Vanderbilt today (5/19/2009). I had to have an abdominal and trans vaginal ultra sound done because the dr seen cysts on my ovaries on my CT scan. That didn't shock me none! One of the reasons that I decided to have a hysterectomy is because I had PCOS. I know that the surgeon wants to approach surgery and not have any surprises but dang - I don't want to go through any more.

Next came my appointment with my nutritionist. Thank God for her. My PCP mentioned that my surgery might be put off just a little because of the pancreatitis. She said that she did not think that it would slow me down any and as a matter of fact she was going to go ahead and send over the ok for my insurance specialist to go ahead and apply for approval. She was not going to write anything about the pancreatic attacks! God love her! She said that she knew that I have been trying really hard - I have modified my eating habits, lost weight and have tried to mentally prepare myself as best as I can. She said that she sees this and believes that I am ready to have surgery. 

Last but not least. My last appointment of the day was with a diabetes educator. She had to teach me to give myself an insulin shot. This woman had to be a saint. I was a nervous wreck, I just about had myself sick. I am so scared of needles, it isn't even funny! She treated me with so much patience and kindness.  

I asked to be prescribed the insulin "pen". I really had no idea what this was. I thought it would look like a writing pen and you would not have to see a needle at all. Yea! You guessed it, I was wrong! She pulled out this pen looking thing but you have to attach a single use needle to it every time. So guess what?!? You get to see the needle every time.

It has 300 units of insulin in the pen but you have to do a safety check with every new needle that is put on it. In order to do that you have to dial up 2 units of insulin and that flows from the needle so that you are able to see it working. The dr started me out on 10 units every night. I am suppose to give myself shot before bed but that doesn't work with my schedule. I am going to give myself the shot every night around 6:00pm so I can give it to myself everyday at the same time. I work nights 3 days a week so before bed is not feasible for me.  

My diabetes educator showed me about putting on the needle and doing the safety check and how to insert the needle into my skin. It was my turn to now show her what she had taught me. I was going to have to stick myself. OMG!!!!!!  I put the new needle on and did the safety check. So far so good! I got an alcohol swab and swabbed a place on my stomach, and it hit me really, really hard - OH DANG!!!!! I AM GOING TO HAVE TO STICK MYSELF WITH THIS NEEDLE!!!!!!  

I began to hold the needle a few inches from my stomach. I started breathing really fast and shallow, I was sweating, shaking and generally feeling like I was going to crap all over myself. I began looking around - I was fixing to run. My educator sensed this and she got up and eased over and shut the door and told me that she was going to lock it, so no one could come in to disturb us. Yea right! She was locking it to belay my butt long enough to tackle me! LOL!!! At this time, I began to cry (If you know me at all, you know I am not a cryer. A big cusser yes, a cryer no!). I was actually crying because I was horrified to be sticking a needle into my skin. I told her that I was sorry that I could not do this. I really felt like I was not going to be able to press that needle into my stomach. Bless her heart, my educator began talking to me and actually volunteered to stick herself so we could do this together. I finally got myself together enough and would not let her do that. After a little bit of time and alot of internal war and cussing myself. I finally mustered up enough courage and gave myself an insulin shot. I DID IT!!!! I really did it! This is such a big accomplishment for me. My needle phobia is very real and I am sure that I will have to battle with this for a while to come but I actually was able to give myself and insulin shot today!!! 


 

A Vanderbilt nurse called me today. She was updating me on my recent labs. She said that I was low in vitamin D and B12. She called me in a script for the vitamin D and advised me to contact my dr office to get shots of B12. I asked her if the low levels would affect or hinder my surgery progress. She said that it would not. I was relieved to hear that of course.

I already have an appointment with my PCP but it's not till the 3rd week of May. I will give him a call and see if he can get me in any earlier. I asked the nurse about re-starting Januvia or if I was going to be put on insulin. She said that she did not know about either one. I guess I will wait and see what the endocrinologist says on 5/11/2009 when I go back. I'll also have to check to see if my psych eval was faxed over to the office too.

I don't think I have lost any more weight. I haven't weighed but I didn't exactly watch my diet when Trish was in either. Oh well, I wanted to enjoy my time with her and part of that is eating. I will just have to do better. You know what they say.........
It's not where you are at, it is where you are going.

Trish flew in from Minnesota on Tuesday. It has been really nice seeing her. It has been good to watch Sabrina and her together. When they were younger I used to wonder if I would ever see the day that they actually showed that they have love for one another. 

Trish looks really pregnant. Me and Sabrina have gotten to feel the baby move. Trish has been craving swiss cake rolls. She has been eating them with milk like crazy. Amazingly, I've been good and haven't touched one! I haven't really wanted one either.  

Today is my psyche eval. Tim, Sabrina and Trish have all been teasing me mercilessly about failing my psyche eval and that they hope the psychiatrist takes some aspirin before he talks to me. HA! HA! VERY FUNNY GUYS!!!!

It really wasn't so bad. When I first arrived at the office I was given a bunch of questionnaires to fill out. It was about 10 pages of questions asked in about 10 different ways. I was then called back into the doctors office and he basically asked have i researched the surgery and did I really know what to expect. He also wanted to know if I knew that the surgery is permanent and once i take the step to do it that there is no going back. He also talked about possible complications and malabsorbtion issues. He just wanted to make sure that I knew what I was getting myself into. I told him that I have been researching this surgery for years and that I am ready for it. It seemed to go over pretty smooth. I think I was in his office for a total of 2 hours, not bad really......

Well I am coming to the end of the pre-surgery road. I only have one more visit for my six month supervised diet. It is on 5/11/2009. I had the Vanderbilt nurse to look over my check list at my last appointment to see if there was anything that I lacked. The only thing she said was my psych eval. That's done now so I should be good to go.   


 

Tim hauled my butt back to Vanderbilt today or should I say Vanderbilt at 100 Oaks. Today was the 1st real clinic day that they have had there. There were a few snags with the computers but everything else seemed to be running smoothly.  Of course, it was decorated nice and it will be very convenient. It will have lots of other services there, including pre-op testing.

I got bad news, I am up 9 pounds. I started drinking stupid diet cokes again. Those things are like a drug to me. I am currently weaning myself off of the AGAIN. Good news! That visit just completed my 5th month visit. I am almost there! I had lots of questions which I bombarded the nurse practitioner with. She was really patient and answered everything. I feel really at peace with my decision about this surgery.  

She told me that the ultra sound of my abdomen showed cysts on my ovary. I don't think it is any big deal because I was diagnosed with PCOS prior to my hysterectomy. She said that they are just taking precautions and making sure that everything is alright. While I am not a big fan of a vaginal ultra sound, I am glad that they are being cautious with my health before surgery.

The nurse practitioner also told me that I may have to go on insulin injections before surgery. It just depends on how my A1C come back. If it is higher then more than likely injections but if it is the same or lower then there might be another pill that they will put me on. I hope it is the pill but if I have to give myself a shot for a month I will. She told me that they want my sugar levels at optimum levels before surgery because it will help with healing and my recovery. 

All in all it was a very informative day. I know that I need to get motivated and focused on a diet or should I say lifestyle changes now more than ever.  I am ready. I can do this. I will do this.

Oh yea! I found a new PCP. He seems like he is going to be just what I need. He told me that he will be more than glad to work with Vanderbilt, if labs and such are needed. He also talked to me a little bit about how he used to have a weight problem and he made me feel like he understood about my decision for surgery. Of course he did the doctor thing and told me that my pouch is just a tool and even though I have surgery it will still require life style changes on my part. He seems very knowledgeable. I even managed to talk Tim into going to him and having a physical (this is a miracle, cause Tim don't mess with doctors at all!) Hopefully, Tim's opinion will be the same as mine and we will both have a new PCP.

Well I went to meet with the sleep doctor today. I do have obstructive sleep apnea. I have to sleep with a CPAP machine. I stopped by and picked that up today. I chose to sleep with nasal pillows. I think I can tolerate those alot better than a mask. I stopped by Wal-Mart on the way home and got some distilled water. I will try and start sleeping with the CPAP machine tonight. It is definitely going to take a while to get used to but I am determined to try.

The lady who set up my CPAP machine had open RNY surgery about 4 years ago. She talked to me about her experience and told me that she would do it again in a heart beat. I believe God keeps putting these people in my path to reassure me that I am doing the right thing by pursuing this surgery.

I got on the scales today and my weight is up. I haven't been eating all that bad. I am going to try and do alot better. The thing I have really messed up on is starting diet cokes again. I am going to start weaning myself off again. Dang! It's always a struggle. I keep telling myself it is soooo worth it. I want to get off the diabetic meds and feel better.

Trish will be coming home in a couple of weeks. I am ready to see her. I am already dreading her leaving again. But such is life. She is a happily married woman and belongs with her husband. I know this but my Momma's heart still misses my baby being close.

Sabrina just got back from Florida. She had a really good time. She went to the doctors office with me today. We went window shopping, talked, laughed and just had a good time hanging out. Of course, I got tired rather quickly. I am so sick of being this big and lugging all this fat around. I want this surgery really, really badly. I wish I could hop up on the operating table tonight. *sigh* I keep telling myself that it will be here soon enough. I still have lots more to do to prepare myself for surgery.