3/30/2009

Mar 30, 2009

Well I went to meet with the sleep doctor today. I do have obstructive sleep apnea. I have to sleep with a CPAP machine. I stopped by and picked that up today. I chose to sleep with nasal pillows. I think I can tolerate those alot better than a mask. I stopped by Wal-Mart on the way home and got some distilled water. I will try and start sleeping with the CPAP machine tonight. It is definitely going to take a while to get used to but I am determined to try.

The lady who set up my CPAP machine had open RNY surgery about 4 years ago. She talked to me about her experience and told me that she would do it again in a heart beat. I believe God keeps putting these people in my path to reassure me that I am doing the right thing by pursuing this surgery.

I got on the scales today and my weight is up. I haven't been eating all that bad. I am going to try and do alot better. The thing I have really messed up on is starting diet cokes again. I am going to start weaning myself off again. Dang! It's always a struggle. I keep telling myself it is soooo worth it. I want to get off the diabetic meds and feel better.

Trish will be coming home in a couple of weeks. I am ready to see her. I am already dreading her leaving again. But such is life. She is a happily married woman and belongs with her husband. I know this but my Momma's heart still misses my baby being close.

Sabrina just got back from Florida. She had a really good time. She went to the doctors office with me today. We went window shopping, talked, laughed and just had a good time hanging out. Of course, I got tired rather quickly. I am so sick of being this big and lugging all this fat around. I want this surgery really, really badly. I wish I could hop up on the operating table tonight. *sigh* I keep telling myself that it will be here soon enough. I still have lots more to do to prepare myself for surgery.

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