5/19/2009

May 19, 2009

Oh dang! Alot has happened since the last time I posted.

On 5/9/2009 I was admitted into the hospital for pancreatitis. Oh my gosh, the pain was so bad! I could swear that I had a little alien inside of me with a knife and it was stabbing me from the inside out. I really can't adequately describe the pain. This was the worst attack ever. The doctors can't seem to figure out what is causing the attacks. While I was in the hospital the dr had blood work, CTs, and an ultra sound done. My doctor seems to think that it is an underlying gall bladder problem because that is what the blood work seemed to indicate but is still not sure. He decided to run blood work for auto immune diseases as a precaution. I don't believe anything will come back indicating that type of disease. He is going to keep trying till he finds out what it is. I'll post about those test results as soon as I get them. I was released from the hospital on 5/12/2009. It was so good to finally be home. 

I went back to Vanderbilt today (5/19/2009). I had to have an abdominal and trans vaginal ultra sound done because the dr seen cysts on my ovaries on my CT scan. That didn't shock me none! One of the reasons that I decided to have a hysterectomy is because I had PCOS. I know that the surgeon wants to approach surgery and not have any surprises but dang - I don't want to go through any more.

Next came my appointment with my nutritionist. Thank God for her. My PCP mentioned that my surgery might be put off just a little because of the pancreatitis. She said that she did not think that it would slow me down any and as a matter of fact she was going to go ahead and send over the ok for my insurance specialist to go ahead and apply for approval. She was not going to write anything about the pancreatic attacks! God love her! She said that she knew that I have been trying really hard - I have modified my eating habits, lost weight and have tried to mentally prepare myself as best as I can. She said that she sees this and believes that I am ready to have surgery. 

Last but not least. My last appointment of the day was with a diabetes educator. She had to teach me to give myself an insulin shot. This woman had to be a saint. I was a nervous wreck, I just about had myself sick. I am so scared of needles, it isn't even funny! She treated me with so much patience and kindness.  

I asked to be prescribed the insulin "pen". I really had no idea what this was. I thought it would look like a writing pen and you would not have to see a needle at all. Yea! You guessed it, I was wrong! She pulled out this pen looking thing but you have to attach a single use needle to it every time. So guess what?!? You get to see the needle every time.

It has 300 units of insulin in the pen but you have to do a safety check with every new needle that is put on it. In order to do that you have to dial up 2 units of insulin and that flows from the needle so that you are able to see it working. The dr started me out on 10 units every night. I am suppose to give myself shot before bed but that doesn't work with my schedule. I am going to give myself the shot every night around 6:00pm so I can give it to myself everyday at the same time. I work nights 3 days a week so before bed is not feasible for me.  

My diabetes educator showed me about putting on the needle and doing the safety check and how to insert the needle into my skin. It was my turn to now show her what she had taught me. I was going to have to stick myself. OMG!!!!!!  I put the new needle on and did the safety check. So far so good! I got an alcohol swab and swabbed a place on my stomach, and it hit me really, really hard - OH DANG!!!!! I AM GOING TO HAVE TO STICK MYSELF WITH THIS NEEDLE!!!!!!  

I began to hold the needle a few inches from my stomach. I started breathing really fast and shallow, I was sweating, shaking and generally feeling like I was going to crap all over myself. I began looking around - I was fixing to run. My educator sensed this and she got up and eased over and shut the door and told me that she was going to lock it, so no one could come in to disturb us. Yea right! She was locking it to belay my butt long enough to tackle me! LOL!!! At this time, I began to cry (If you know me at all, you know I am not a cryer. A big cusser yes, a cryer no!). I was actually crying because I was horrified to be sticking a needle into my skin. I told her that I was sorry that I could not do this. I really felt like I was not going to be able to press that needle into my stomach. Bless her heart, my educator began talking to me and actually volunteered to stick herself so we could do this together. I finally got myself together enough and would not let her do that. After a little bit of time and alot of internal war and cussing myself. I finally mustered up enough courage and gave myself an insulin shot. I DID IT!!!! I really did it! This is such a big accomplishment for me. My needle phobia is very real and I am sure that I will have to battle with this for a while to come but I actually was able to give myself and insulin shot today!!! 


 

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