Lyn78

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January 17th was my 9 month mark. I now weigh 118 lbs. It is very exciting to be able to get dressed fast now! Not having to worry about what to wear and what would hide my body  so I don't look like a "fat girl". I venture out a lot more and am very comfortable with myself now. I have reconnected with old friends that I hid from. It's strange really...still not used to being literally half the person I was. My highest weight was 219. I don't like all the questions though from people who I haven't seen in a long time. I'm not one to like attention, so it's uncomfortable at times. No one knows I had VSG surgery. Only 3 people know. I am a very private person and don't put my personal business out there for anyone to know. Most people don't realize that having any sort of bariatric procedure is not easy, they assume it's a easy way out. All that shows, is they are extremely uneducated. What people need to understand is having any sort of bariatric surgery is it's strictly a tool to help you lose the weight. Not a solution. If you don't change your food choices and exercise, it won't work. It's a lifestyle change. Your whole entire world as you know it, will change. And the patient has to do a ton of research on their own for a full understanding. And the research never stops lol! It's constant. I've been seeing a nutritionist for the past 3 years now, and I'm always learning something new from her or by my own research. Education is key! Personally when I'm asked "how I lost all that weight" or "what did you do" my response is, lifestyle change. Simple as that. I am happy with my weight now. I don't want to lose anymore as I am 5' 1" and if I lose anymore weight, I will look sickly lol. I now weigh myself to make sure I'm NOT losing. Never thought I would ever be doing that! I am maintaining my weight right now. It was a long bumpy road, I'm not gonna lie, but most days I'm glad I did it. There are days where I miss being able to eat what ever I want :( but it passes with in minutes and all is right in the world! 

Yesterday was my 4mth mark. I still can't eat much and am very curious what my vitamin levels are lol. I have my 5 mth apointment with my surgeon in 2 1/2 wks and I will know how my levels are then. I'm nervous there way off! I feel I don't eat enough to be at a normal range. I haven't been taking the gall bladder, calcium or prilozec twice a day like I am supposed to. Honestly, I just forget. I notice I'm getting sloppy in food choices a little. Not terribly but enough that I feel guilty after the fact. For example if I'm at a restaurant and I get a salad, I get lettuce, shredded cheese, grilled chicken and or egg and ask what kind of dressing they have. If they have a "fat free" dressing, I get that on the side and dip my fork in it then take a bite of the salad. At home I use a yougurt based ranch dressing which is great! I also found the greatest thing ever, sugar free Oreos! Two cookies is 0 sugar and 5 grams of fat! So when I feel like having something sweet and naughty, I eat 1 or 2 Oreos! I don't have them that often, but knowing I can if need be is fabulous! Buying clothes has been fun :) I am able to shop in stores that I never could've before. I just bought a dress for a wedding I'm going to in Srptember from Ann Taylor Loft in a size 6! I have never been a size 6!

 Wow I didn't realize how much time has gone by since I last bloged. Surgery date was April 17th 2012 so that makes it a little over 3mths since my surgery. I started to keep track of my weight on a weight app in my phone a few months before surgery, then my phone crashed and I lost all my imput, needless to say I was beyond pist! I re-downloaded the app and started all over to keep track. My highest weight was 219lbs, as of today I weigh 148.4lbs, a total loss of 70.6lbs! When I got home from the hospital I had already shed 20lbs. I'm happy with the amount of weight I have lost in such a short amount of time but it has not been easy. I have a extremely busy schedule which always makes it difficult to fit in exercise and have foods I can eat at the ready. I am a natzi food label reader now lol, it takes me twice as long in the grocery store which I hate. Prior preporation and being prepared is VERY important. I don't eat very much still, some days I can only eat a half cup of food per meal and some days I will eat a cup at a meal. Sometimes after a couple bites I'm overfull  and have that stuffed feeling and want to vomit lol!  it's strange? Some days I can get in more liquids than others. At times I have to remind myself to drink. I haven't been taking all the scripts I'm supposed to on a daily basis and I know that is bad. Honestly I just forget and by the time I remember it's late noon. I take my multi vitamin daily, it's the gallbladder and prilosec that I forget. I'm also noticing sagging and bunched skin in certain areas, I'm using a firming cream for under my chin and neck in hopes it helps the problem. Sooooo anyway, I've cleaned out my closet a few times which was fun. I'm still trying to get used this new life. There are just as many cons as there is pros though. Till next time.....

 Tomorrow will be exactly one month since surgery. I am still on purees which at this point, is extremely BORING! Next week I meet with my dietitian to go to soft foods. I went to a restaurant for the first time on Mothers day, it was a strange experience lol. We went to Pub 99 and as soon as I walked through the door I could smell yumminess! I ended up ordering a baked potato as nothing else on the menu was under 5 grams of fat and 5 grams of sugar. That is definatly a tough place to go to, and try to find something to eat with in my guidelines. This past week end I've been online getting the nutrion facts from restaurants and entering the things I would eat along with the fat, sugar, and protein content (all under the 5 and 5) and entering them into excel. I find most restaurants don't have the nutrional facts to give you. Although some do have the calories listed. Hopefully this will make things easier. I also have downloaded a few apps on my phone to be able to look things up. I'm still having a hard time getting in all my water. I'm supposed to be drinking 4 bottles of water and I'm lucky if I can get in one! Protein is getting easier but I still am not getting in the 55 grams that I'm supposed to be getting in daily. And I am SO sick of the pills! Lol I don't mind the multi vitamin twice a day but the gall bladder one I have to open the capsule and mix in with something sucks! And the 2 calcium chews 3 times a day is a pain. I ordered the calcium chews from Bariactric Advantage because I could not find any calcium citrate in any store. I want a chewable tablet but have yet to find one. The acid reflux capsule isn't bad since when you open it, it's little beads so thats easy to mix and swallow. My anti anxiety pill I was able to get in liquid form and tastes like crap. At 6 weeks I can start to swallow anything the size of an M&M or smaller so that will eliminate a few. I have yet to have any bloodwork done and think I should. I am tired all the time and feel weak most days. I know it's because I am not getting in all my water and protein. I try to force it, but get that gag reflex and stop because I'm so afraid to throw up. I walk 30 min everyday unless it's raining and thats hard to push through on my weak days. At time after I walk and lay on the couch, I feel bruised. I got to get more water in!

Well, the first 3 days after surgery were the worst days of my life! All I kept thinking is, I want to turn back time. If I knew then what I know now, I would'nt have ever done this. It was awful! The NG tube was uncomfortable to say the least. I couldn't drink anything untill they did the upper GI the next day to check for leaks, whick didn't happen till late noon and I was dieing for a drink! My throat was so dry, I could literlaly feel it peel apart every time I tried to swallow. I had no cathater which meant I had to get up every 15 minutes or so to pee. I was very nausous even though they were giving me the anti-nausea meds and threw up once. I felt like I was about to have an anxiety attack at any moment, I was crawling out of my own skin. It was unbearable at one point. I remember saying to myself, "what did I do." Now, I'm 2 weeks out and it has gotton better. I have lost 20 pounds since the day of surgery. Last 2wks has been liquids only. Yesterday was the last of the shots I had to give myself in the stomach, thank god! I feel better, walking everyday, taking the calcium and multivitamin. Started puree's yesterday, can only do an ounce. Having hard time getting in 55 grams of protien. Drain is out and incisions are healing well, except the one incision by the drain hole still bothers me alot. I have to lay down for 15min or so every hour to releave the burning from that one incision. I'm just taking it day by day right now. Hoping for the best!

 My surgeons office called this morning and asked to move the surgery to tomorrow instead of the 18th. Um.....not prepared to do this a day early lol! I was using today and tomorrow to clean my house, grocery shop, get all laundry done and get prepared for the big day. Now I'm craming it all into today!!!! Anxeity is in high gear right now! And to top it off, when she called to ask me to schedule the surgery, I said well, I just finished my yogurt smoothie so that means I ate something, she says that's fine just start the clear liquids from now till midnight. I'm like......wtf, had I known that would've been my last meal I deffinatly would've had a kick ass breakfast not a yogurt smoothie lol!

Got my surgery date, April 18th! I'm excited and scared. I just can't wait to be a few months out and see progress. Out of all the research I've done, the books I've read and the people I've been following on youtube, I still feel like theres things I don't know and I want to be as best prepared as I can possibly be. 9 days!!!!!

So the stress test came back abnormal and I had to get cardiac clearence in order to have the surgery. I went to my cardiologist and had an echo-stress test which came back fine and I got the okay. The surgeons office will be calling tomorrow to schedule a date for the surgery and I'm freaking out! I'm pist my nerves are starting to get the best of me though. I think a part of the anxiety and nerves is the fact I'm not telling my family about the type of surgery it is. I'm going to tell them I'm having a hernia repair since its an equivilent surgery. No one in my family knows the truth but 2 friends do. Annnnnnnnnd the other part of my problem is the "what if"....I know I got the cardiac clearence but I can't help but think something will go wrong and my daughter will be mother-less. I'm debating writing her a letter and putting it in a certain spot in case something happens and I don't make it home. Am I friggen crazy?! 6 months ago I would've sold my soul to the devil to have this surgery and now that is real, Im losing my damn mind!

Completed all the bloodwork, the stress test, and UGI. Monday is the ultrasound and thats the last of tests. Once my surgeon gets all the results we schedule a meeting an book an appointment. And I have a full page of questions for him! So far, so good!

Wow, I haven't logged on in so long! Just reading up on all my OH friends, everyone has made such great progress, congrats! I got the acceptance from the insurance co. last week and I start doing all the pre-testing next week. The UGI, stress test, ultrasound and what seems to be a mass amount of blood work. After all the testing is complete, I have to then contact my surgeon to meet with him to be sure I have clearance for surgery after he gets all test results and then get a surgery date. However, now I'm getting extremely nervous! So many things running through my head, do I or don't I? Does anyone remember how soon their surgery was booked after they completed all their testing? I have days that I think to myself...I don't want to do this anymore, then I have days when I think...god I can't wait for this. I hope this is normal, lol! After not being on here in so long, I forget how to navigate around! I'm going to try and refresh my memory and attempt to update some things!