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I CAN"T BELIEVE THAT IT IS HERE......ok, I am scared and nervous but this is NO QUESTION the right path for me.  Please PRAY for me, I have two small children and my husband (who I am separated from) felt the need YESTERDAY to tell me he went to a lawyer....SERIOUSLY, do I need this???  Also, felt the need to tell me to "write letters to the kids" in case something went wrong....I am keeping positive!!!  I have a great support system from friends, family, parents...IT GOING TO BE GREAT!!!  I just can't wait to get through the next couple of days....I have wanted this for 10 years and I am doing for me and my children!!!

Hope everyone is doing GREAT and I look forward to "speaking" to you when I get home

- Donna

Well, surgery is in 6 days and I am starting to get a little nervous.  I am extremely prepared for my life after surgery, having bought all the gadgets, cups, bowls, magic bullet etc.  I have been keeping a journal of how I feel and what my goals and expectations are.  I have tried at least 30+ brands/flavors of protein shakes from Vita lady.com over the last 3 months to see which ones I like....YET, as Tuesday approaches, I still am nervous.  I KNOW this is the right decision for me but I find myself mourning over food that I won't be able to eat anymore.  I wrote in my journal last night how these foods make me feel and when it came down to it, they all make me feel like crap.  These foods that I am mourning over are the exact reason why I am in this situation.....yet I still mourn over them.  Is that crazy?  Another thing that is REALLY bothering me is the fact that I do NOT have my husband's support.  We have been separated for 8 months and he does not support my decision to do this.  He is not even going with my mom and I the day of surgery.  I will be shocked if he visits the hospital.  I have been with this Man for 14 years and he said that he will NEVER understand why I did this.  I have a TON of support from family and friends, but its his support that I am really looking for.  We have two small kids and I have friends and family staying over to help me take care of them because "your surgery should not impact my life at all".  This surgery is for ME and for my kids.  I have a horrible family medical history.  Name almost anything and one of my parents have it...heart disease (check), stroke (check), cancer (check), diabetes (check), high cholesterol (check), high blood pressure (check), vascular issues (check), thyroid problems (check), sleep apnea (check), dementia (check)...in any case, I am just getting some last minute jitters.  I did not have to do a 2 week fast and I was grateful, however now I kind of wish I had to do something.  I think that it would have mentally prepared me better to start thinking and eating like I will after surgery. Anyway, I think I just needed to vent.