Mee2999

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A little over a week till surgery....getting a little nervous and anxious also......

Got the phone call today, surgery is approved for Jan 16 2012!  Excited!!!  This should motivate me, why am i not motivated??? 

Still not too motivated, I have been extreamly tired this week also, I don't know what the deal it........

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So, Sundays at 8am are my weigh ins.....and I gained a pound this week.  I need someone to stay on my @$$!  It's weird because until recently I wasn't exercising at all, just eating better and I was doing really good with the exception of one week...but now I'm exercising at least 5 days a week, sometimes more, at least 30 mins a day (doing a walking video, doing anywhere from 1-3 miles at a time)  and I thought doing that I would see better results, so this discourages me, why even exercise if it's not going to make more of a difference?? Blah!  And now the holidays are coming, I don't want to take away from my kids, we always make cookies at Christmas time, but OMG  it's going to be so hard not to sit down with a cup of milk and a half dozen or more cookies.  I don't want to get off track, but at the same time I kind of look at this like "my last meal" type of thing, this is the last time I will be able to enjoy the holidays (food wise) the way I normally do....ugggggg, so what do I do......It may be really stupid but I am so upset right now.........

I am feeling not so motivated today...not really sure why, not motivated in any way.....did 5 loads of laundry which took pretty much all day, I need to clean the house and put the clothes away....Haven't done too well with eating right today either.  Does anyone else have days like that, or is it just me???

Well, today is Thursday Nov 17 2011.  I started my journey in April of this year.  My starting weight was 248 pounds.  As of last Sunday (11/13/11) my weight was 202, a total of 46 ponds lost so far (on my own).  I have alot of people telling me that I don't need to have the surgery (I am scheduled to have Roux-en Y gastric bypass on Jan. 16th 2012)  and their reason is that I have come this far on my own, why not continue on my own.  My reasons are I have rode the rollercoaster of weight loss too long, I want this to aid me in keeping it off long term.  I have never lost this much weight on my own, but I also have never been this commited to do it.  I went back and forth between the Roux-en Y and the lap band for a while, then decided on the Roux-en Y, but now I'm thinking maybe I do want the lap band,  not really sure which would be better for me.......but as of now I am going with the Roux-en Y.  I have already completed everything that my insurance wants me to do, my 6 month physicians monitored diet was done last month, sleep study (have sleep apnea and have been TRYING to use that darn C-Pap machine), I was required to loose 10 pounds, which I have done and then some, done it all....just waiting for these next 2 months to pass.  I am waiting until January for a few reasons, one is my job, they slow down alot in Jan. and also I will have that nice income tax check to fall back on while I am off work, I am thinking I just may take 6 weeks off.....but that depends on a few things...,anyways.....what else can I say.....I am 32 years old, have 3 children, 2 boys and 1 girl.....single (working)mother.