I want to be able to look back & know Im better off without him

Jan 18, 2009

 I suffer from major depression. Before my surgery my doc. took me off my time released medication(because we cant take time release meds after surgery) and up'd one of the other medications I was on to make up for it. Well, it didnt work. I was tearful and emotional. Okay so then I go and have my surgery on 12/1. I was in a lot of pain because of a hematoma that was under one of my incisions. Also, I couldnt get my anti depressants in until about 2 weeks after surgery. So there I was, with my hormones all over the place because of surgery, trying to deal with my emotional eating issues, and I wasnt working(My depression gets worse if Im not working). So my relationship with my boyfriend was difficult for both of us and we were fighting more than usual. So because we were fighting for the most of the month (I was usually mad and fighting at him because he works about 4 minutes from my house and probably only visited me 5 times in a month) he decided we should go on a break. I understood his reasons and told him I would back off a little, even though that was when he should have been supporting me the most! Oh yea, I was told I was going to be laid off on 2/1 from a place that I planned on retiring from, but he didnt care. So then yesterday I found out he started talking to his ex again....he wants some space from me and cant return my calls, but he can rekindle his relationship with his ex. Now Im not allowed at his house to see my dog because his mom lives across the street and loves his ex, so I cant be seen there.
So if I wouldnt have had my surgery then we would still be together! Isnt that awful?! However, when he saw me yesterday for the first time in awhile he kept telling me how great I looked because Ive lost 35lbs...I told him I would call him for a drink in 5 months (after I lose the majority of weight) so he can see what he missed!!
Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? I know Im rambling on, but this is the place I feel that I have friends that relate to me and I feel safe!
Im so sad, but maybe this is a blessing. A new job, a new body and a new (real) man!!!

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