Melissa R.
WELCOME TO MY WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY. I WANTED TO KEEP TRACK OF MY JOURNEY FOR MYSELF AND FOR OTHERS WHO ARE LOOKING TO WLS TO HELP SAVE THEIR LIVES. I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR ALL THE PROFILES THAT I HAVE READ ON THIS BOARD THAT HAVE HELPED ME. I WANTED TO OFFER MY STORY IN HOPES THAT IT MIGHT HELP SOMEONE ELSE.
2/22/06 Yesterday I met with the program coordinator at Bariatric Solutions and took the psychological test. I am so excited about starting this process. I have spent quite some time researching it and I feel like this is the right thing to do for me. Today I met with Dr. Bour and Chris, the nutritionist. Both meetings were full of info. I enjoyed meeting both of them. I feel that the program they have is a thorough and complete weight loss program. Next week I meet with Dr. Russell, the Psychatrist. That should be an interesting meeting. I'm just glad I did not have my 4 year old with me when I took the test!
2/28/26 Yesterday I met with Dr. Russell to discuss my psych test. He has cleared me for surgery. Yeah! So now, I just wait to hear from the office. I hope there aren't any delays with my insurance. I would really like to have surgery before my kids get out of school for the summer. I have 3 children, an 8 year old boy and 4 and 6 year old girls. Keep your fingers crossed for me.
3/9/06 Well, I am still waiting to hear something. I called the offfice last week to see if they had sent off my papers to my insurance company. They were waiting for Dr. Russell's dictated note to come back. She said it would probably be next week (meaning this week) before they would have it back. I know that things take time. I just wonder if they have been able to send my papers yet. This must truly be the hardest part. I keep checking my insurance website and there is still no authorization request. I think I'm going to wait until next week to check again. It is killing me!! I have been over weight for so long now and now I feel like there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Although, I must remember that there is a chance that insurance will deny my request! I hate to think that, but I know there is a chance that this could take much longer. Anyway, my kids are out of school tomorrow, so I will be busy with them. Then I have to work all weekend, and the kids are out again on Monday. I should be able to wait to check my insurance website until Tuesday. Maybe just maybe there will be a request!!!! I have been living on this website since I found it. I finally had enough nerve to reply to someone yesterday. I have found it so interesting to read about everyone's experience. I think it has been very helpful in making up my mind about this surgery. I also think it is great that there are people out there just like me and can relate to feelings and thoughts that I have about being obese. Hopefully, I will be updating the first of next week!!
3/13/06 Well, it is Monday and I could not wait until tomorrow to see if there was an auth. request for the surgery. There is still NO REQUEST. I think I might loose my mind. I am trying to be patient. I want so much to call the office and see if they have sent it yet, BUT...I think I will wait a little longer. I don't want to be known as the "pain" who is calling in all the time. So, I will sit here and vent on my profile. Oh well, I will be going to my second presurg. meeting tonight. I have been trying to watch what I have been eating. It is very hard since I am an emotional eater, and right now my emotions are all over the place. I have been drinking more water. I feel like I need to be doing something while I wait. I haven't really given up all my yummy carbs. I feel like when I start Optifast, that is when my weigh loss really starts. Hopefully, I will update soon with some really good news!!
3/14/06 I have a date!!!!!!!!4/18/06. WOOOHOOOOO. I am so excited. Tomorrow I will have my EGD. I'm not too excited about that, but I will do it. I have a horrible gag reflex. I am so excited. I feel like I have so much to do in preparation for next month. I have three children and I will have to make sure everything is set up for them. I can't wait. Last night I really prayed that God would show me what to do and let me know if this is the right thing for me. Well, he spoke to me today. My insurance gave approval after only one day. I have been waiting for a check to come from my flex account to help pay for the remainder of the fee, well it came one hour after I got approval. My mail even ran early today. For the last several weeks it has not been coming until mid afternoon, well today it was here at noon. I just feel like I have such a peace about this right now. I am sure that I will be nervous, and scared before the surgery, but I really feel that this is what I am meant to do. I will update after my EGD.
3/16/06 Yesterday I had my EGD. I had it done at St. Francis hospital. Since I work with St. it is cheaper for me to have everything done there. I must say that I was nervous. See, I have worked in the ER and placed many tubes down throats and I know it is not pleasant. But I must say it wasn't that bad. I went in and answered a few questions...then they took me to the preop room...put in my IV...and we waited for Dr. Bour. I had to be there at 11:45 and was scheduled for 1pm. My husband was able to wait in the back with me. Then came time to move to the procedure room. Once I was in there, things moved very quickly. They gave me some Mylicon drop to prevent gas in my stomach... gave me some nice meds through my IV...sprayed my throat with numbing spray...and the rest is a blur. I remember them putting a bite block in my mouth (keeps you from biting the very expensive tube). I remember gagging some and that is about it. It was not painful. It was a little uncomfortable at times, but I only remembered that when I ate something later that day and had the slightly uncomfortable feeling again. The whole things only takes about 15 minutes. Then back in the recovery area. My husband was there waiting for me. We were in the car to go home by 2pm. I then went home and slept until 5pm. I probably would have slept longer, but my 4 year old came in to check on me. I stayed tired the rest of the evening and went to bed and slept the rest of the night. I thought I might have a hard time sleeping, but I did not. So, now the next step is starting Optifast next week. My first meeting is Tuesday afternoon. So I guess I will start on Wednesday. NOt really looking forward to that, but that's ok I will get through it. It is only 4 weeks. I am very excited about the fact that my sister is coming to stay the week of surgery. Since I have 3 kids, it will be very helpful. My husband has just recently started a new job and I don't want to jeopardize his job with him having to be out of work a bunch. Anyway, Kelli will be a tremendous help. She will come Monday, my surgery is on Tuesday, and she will stay until Sunday. Huge help!!! I will update more next week.
3/20/06 Well, I have been under the weather this weekend. Starting to feel a bit better, but my head is still all stuffy and congested. Tomorrow I attend my first Optifast meeting. I have been eating all of my favorite foods the last few days. I haven't gone crazy, just trying to get in all my favorites. Starting Wednesday, they will all be a memory. I am determined to do the Optifast to the letter. I really would like to lose some weight before my surgery and I know that Optifast will get my body ready for surgery. I don't want any complications or problems, so I will be a good girl. Things seem to be falling into place. Time just isn't going by fast enough. My family is being supportive and I am thankful for that. My children don't know what type of surgery I am having. I didn't want to get into all the details, so I just said a "mommy surgery". I think after having 3 kids and one of them was 10 lbs, that wsl could fall under that category....maybe....possibly.. Oh well, never mind. Anyway, excited about the meeting tomorrow. I will update after the meeting.
3/22/06 Today is Wednesday.. Day 1 of Optifast. It is early yet, so I don't really have much to say. I had my first drink around 10am. It is only 10:27am now!!!! Anyway, I have decided to drink the shakes during the day and have dinner. I am one of those people that thinks dinner is THE MEAL of the day. I can miss breakfast and lunch, but if I miss dinner then the world is coming to an end. We discussed vitamins at the meeting yesterday. I think I have decided to use the chewables that they sell. I think it will be easier than trying to get all the other supplements I will need besides the vitamin. I ahve never really taken any meds on a regular basis and I think I will have a hard time remembering them all. I can't believe that I am 3 weeks and 6 days until my surgery!! How exciting. My 6 year old informed me this morning that they only have 39 more days of school left. That just seems unreal. They have been counting evryday of the school year. I guess when you teach 19 first graders, you start the end of year count down at the beginning of the year!!! Anyway, I have the preop meeting tomorrow that my support person has to attend. My husband will be attending with me. He truly is my rock. He has been great. I will update tomorrow after the meeting.
3/23/06 Day 2 of Optifast...It is going ok. I have eating pickles like crazy. They are considered a "free food". I can also have sugar free jello and popsicles, but I am afraid that I will get tired of those since that is what I will be eating after surgery. I can also have cucumbers and celery, but I dont' like celery. So, I guess it will be pickles and cucumbers. My husband and I went to the presugery meeting this morning. They took my picture!!!UGH!!! For the before picture. It was informative. They went ove reverything to expect postop...2 IVs...foley catheter...etc. I could really live without the catheter. They talked about the upper GI on day 2 and how you can not have anything to drink until they call. I'm glad they said that sometimes it is in the afternoon, before they get the report and call back with orders. I know I will be very ready for a drink and I'm glad they said that it won't be right away after the Upper GI (this way I can keep my composure and not fuss at the nurse when my drink is not waiting for me). I am very excited about the surgery. I keep reading peoples stories and you just don't hear people say that they regret it. I know that it is going to be very hard, but I know that I will be happy when I can play with my kids, look forward to going places, wake up and feel rested and not hurt everywhere. I am so tired of being this way. I know that I should feel better, and I am ready to feel better....and looking better won't be bad either!!!
3/24/06 Welcome to day 3 of Optifast!! It is going ok. I just keep marking those little boxes off on my food record. Yes, we have to keep a food record while on Optifast. There is also a spot for us to list the exercise we did that day. Well, mine doesn't have any yet. I know that I have to start. I have decided that I am going to take this week to get used to Optifast. I will start with my exercise on Monday. I think that I am going to start making the changes that I need to make, but I am going to do it slowly. I think if I try to change everything at one time, then I will get discouraged easily and fail. I think that if I make one change and give myself time to get used to it, I won't feel overwhelmed. This week I started Optifast...next week I will add exercise to the mix....the next week I will increase my exercise...and so on until I have a healthy balance. I'm sure that it sounds like I am putting it off, but I feel like this is how I need to do it. My husband wants to join a gym. I am so embarassed to go, though. I know that I need to. It would be so much easier especially on rainy days and as far as watching my daughter while I do it, she can stay in the child care area and play. I have to do some thing, and i will decide this weekend. I have to work this weekend and my husband has to work overtime on Saturday. My mom is going to watch my kids while we work. I will update on Monday since my weekend is always so busy.
3/27/06 Today is Monday. Day 6 of Optifast. I really had a hard time last week. I worked over the weekend and it was a little bit easier since I was busy the whole time. Now, I am home again and I find myself thinking about food. I know that it is worth it to continue on. I haven't cheated...thought I have though about it a million times. I find myself thinking constantly that it would be ok to just have a little something. The problem with that is I know if I cheat a little, then I will cheat a lot. So...I will try to every minute not cheat. I am going to fix my daughter her lunch and she wants left over spaghetti that my family had last night. Did I mention that I could eat anything with pasta. It really doesn't matter what it is as long as there is pasta with it. I could eat pasta everyday of my life!!!!!!! That has to be my favorite food. Anyway, I have a presurgery meeting tonight and an Optifast meeting tomorrow. Hopefully that will help. I will update more later.
3/27/06 Day 7 of Optifast. I feel better today. I have been kind of busy, and I know that helps. I just seem to have a better feeling. I weighed at a presurg. mtg. last night and I had lost 4.4 lbs. in 6 days. That was exciting. When I first got on the scale it was the same weight as last wednesday. I thought I was going to ahve a stroke. Then when it beeped it was down!!! yeah for me. I was a little scared that it wasn't going to move. MY husband looked at my salad the other night and asked if we were supposed to eat as much as we wanted in our one meal. My salad was large, but I wasn't measuring the cucumbers in it since they are free foods. I know he doesn't mean to be hurtful, but I can be very sensitive about these things. He is my support person and I know that he will take that seriously. I am glad that he is that way, but I know that there will be times that we buck heads! A friend that I have made through these meetings is having surgery tomorrow. I am so excited for for her. I am going to be her angel. Which means I will check on her and post updates for her while she is recovering. I can't wait to be where she is. I know that I will be excited. I'm sure I will be nervous, but right now I am not. I am just so excited I can't stand it.
3/29/06 Today is 1 of week 2 of Optifast. I must say it is going better than last week. It does take some time to get used to it. Yesterday I felt better about it and today, I feel the same way. I think I have passed the part where I could eat an arm off of someone. It is still tough, but it just seems a little easier. I am not feeling sorry for myself because I can only have one meal a day. I started my exercise today. Last week I had said that I would start on week 2 and I did. I have to say, that i am pround of myself for sticking to it. Last week I jsut wasn't ready to add it in. I was having a hard enough time sticking to the Optifast. I have an aerobic video that has to be a million a one years old and that it what I did. Get this, the title of the video is "Women at Large". I did about 20-25 minutes of it. I think tomorrow I am going to walk with my daughter. There is a church near my home that has built a track and I think I will walk and she can ride her bike. My friend Kathy is having her surgery right now. I will talk to her husband later today to get an update. I hope everything goes well for her. I can't wait to see her at a postop meeting. It really isn't that long before it is my turn. I am excited...I am not nervous...or scared. Just excited. I know it is going to be hard, but I think my husband is really going to be prepared and that is going to help. We talk about it often , so there shouldn't be any surprises. I just can't wait for it to get here!!
3/30/06 We are almost in my surgery month. I can't wait. I have so many things that I need to do before surgery. I still need to pick up some little containers...decide on a protein supplement...a million things around my house. I want things to be as easy as possible when I get home after surgery. I will need to make sure everything for my kids are taken care of. I am really doing much better on Optifast. I really think it takes about a week to adjust. I get hungry, but I am not obsessing about the lack of food like I did in the beginning. I exercised again this morning. I am so proud of myself. I don't do exercise!!! So, I feel like I have really done something. Only 3 more weekends to work before my big day. WOOOHOOOO. Next week is really going to go by fast. I am helping our in my daughters class 3 days next week. Lots of Easter activities. Then the next week is spring break for my kids and my preop appointment. My kids are actually out of school the day before my surgery. I think if I can just get to next week...then it will go pretty quickly. Keep your fingers crossed that it will.
3/31/06 The last day of March. I am so ready to get to April...my surgery month. I am so excited. Every day I look at the calendar as if my day might possibly be tomorrow. 18 more days and I will be there. I have to work this weekend as usual. My husband has gone on a golf retreat with several men from our church. He will be back tomorrow, but it might as well be days. My favorite time of the day is when he comes home. I know sometimes I don't show that, but it is. He is my best friend. This summer will be our 14th anniversary. I love him dearly. Anyway, I hope that he has a wonderful time. I'm sure he will. He deserves to have a night away. He works so hard for us, and always puts me and the kids first. He is the best. There are so many days that he picks up my slack. He never complains, he just comes home and does it. I LOVE THAT MAN!!!! I guess I am a little emotional...it is that time of the month. Joy joy. Hopefully, I won't have to worry about it in the hospital. I know that surgery will trigger it to start, but maybe it will not. I told my best girl friend yesterday about the surgery. She lives out of the state, so I don't see her but a few times a year. I have been hesitant about telling her. I felt guilt about feeling that way after I told her. I just know how people can react to it and I wasn't ready to deal with that from her. I felt like I had to work to justify if to everyone else that I have told and I don't want to do it any more. She was accepting and asked a lot of questions. I know she will be supportive. I am glad that I told her. I want to be able to share my experience with her. I was thinking today that I need to make a list of all the things that I need before surgery. I think I have started about ten of these lists, but I need to get one and start marking things off. I jsut hate to start too early. I want to wait so that when I start getting this stuff, it (my surgery) will be right around the corner. I feel the need to clean my whole house. You know, the kind of cleaning that you do when someone from out of town is coming. I think the week before, is when I am doing to do it. Im talking about cleaning closet and cabinets. I just have this need to have stuff taken care of . I don't know if that is good or bad. I just know that is how I feel. Oh well, I will update next week.
4/3/06 It is Monday and coming up on the end of week 2 of Optifast. That is going fine. For the most part, food isn't a problem anymore. Certainly, I will see a commercial and wish I had something, but as far as sitting here and thinking that I am hungery or wanting to eating...it's not that bad. I haven't been eating a lot of free foods lately either. The protein shakes do take away the hunger. It doesn't seem to last for a very long time, but long enough to make it to the next shake. It is really hard to judge sometimes, when I am really hungery or just wanting to eat. It has been a long time since I have actually felt hunger. I usually never let myself get hungery!! I just can't wait until the surgery si over and I can get on with things. I know it is going to take a long time to change my thinking adn habits. I guess that is another reason Dr. Bour like to use Optifast. To get you to start making the changes that we have to make. I have been thinking about how much weigh I want to lose. I am not realy sure. I think I would like to weigh around 150. That means I have to lose half of myself!! Isn't that crazy to think about. I feel sure that I would be happy around 165. I guess we will just have to wait and see. We are going to Disney World next year and I want to ride everything and be comfortable in a bathing suit. Now that's an idea....me comfortable in a bathing suit!!!
4/4/06 Today I have my third Optifast meeting. I can't believe only one more meeting and then my surgery!! I am kind of anxious to get on the scales to see if I have lost any more weight. I kind of feel like I have. I am going to get my hair cut today. I have been thinking that after the surgery, and after my face looks a little smaller, I think I am going to get my hair cut short. I know that I will lose some hair and if it is shorter, then hopefully it won't be so obvious. I lose 70+ pounds before and my hair kept clogging the drain in the shower. Hopefully it won't happen this time. It might be cute for this summer to just get a short cut. I am so excited about this surgery. I can't seemto focus on anything else but that. This week is kind of crazy and I am glad. The time is going by quickly. I have decided that next week I am focusing on getting everything ready. Major house cleaning...including closets... and shopping so that my husband doesn't have to worry about doing that sort of thing while I am recovering. 2 weeks from today...woooohooooo!!!!!
4/5/06 Good morning!! I weighed yesterday at my 3rd Optifast meeting and I have lost 10.2 pounds!! I was so excited to see the scale go down. I would love to lose 15+ pounds before surgery. That would be great. I am so glad that I have stuck to the diet. It has been hard at time, but it has also gotten much easier. I mean it when I say the first week is a killer. Once you get past that week, then it does get easier. This is a short update today.
4/6/06 Today has been a very busy day. I am glad, because it is passing the time. Only 12 more days!!!! I can't believe that it is getting close. I am so excited. Today, I spent time with my daughters class. We had the anual 1st grade easter egg hunt. It was a blast watching the kids. I did it a couple of years ago with my son and it was the same today and then. Tomorrow, I will be back at the school. My daughter's teacher's birthday is the 20th and I will still be in the hospital, so we are celebrating tomorrow. I ordered a cake with my favorite frosting on it. It is giong to be a test tomorrow. I don't plan on cheating. To be honest, I don't think it will be much temptation. Now, if we were having pizza, or something like that then that would be a different story. I just can't wait to be done with the surgery and on the way to starting my life over.
4/7/06 TGIF... well for most people. I start my work week on Fridays, so I look forward to mondays. I hope everyone has a great weekend planned. I hope I have a nice weekend at work. I don't mind working. I actually really like my job. I work in Homecare and see patients in their homes. It really is neat. I enjoy be out driving when it's nice and I enjoy seeing patients in their home. It is completely different from working in the hospital. I have been a Home Health RN for a little over a year and a half. I started working weekends last summer, so I could be at home more with our kids. It really works well. The bad part is I miss alot of soccer and basketball games in the mornings.But usually my husband is there or my parents, so there is always someone there for my son. We have decided to take the summer off from sports. Our week is so packed with stuff and I am ready for a break. I am sure we will swim a lot this summer. My parents have a pool, and we will be there. Besides it will be good exercise for me. Oh well, still counting down the days. Monday I will commence to cleaning in preparation of the surgery!!!!
4/10/06 I hope everyone is having a good Monday. I have started my cleaning in preparation of surgery next Tuesday. I have gone through all my childrens clothes and pulled out summer stuff and boxed up winter stuff that my youngest will be able to wear later. My husband thinks I'm crazy for doing this. I think he would rather me jsut get rid of it and buy new stuff all the time. I have to do thh for my son, my youngest daughter get her sisters stuff and my oldest daughter gets my girlsfriends daughters stuff. It saves a ton of money! They all get new stuff, but sometimes they out grow stuff before it's worn out and I hate to get rid of it. I do have 2 large bags that I am donating to a childrens home. Anyway, tonight is my last regular preop meeting. Tomorrow is my last Optifast meeting. I am so excited!! I know this week will go by fast. I have a ton of things to do. I planned it that way to help pass the time. I have my preop appointment in the morning at the hospital. I bought myself some new slippers for the hospital. i sat down and talked with my kids the other night about the surgery. I had only told them I was having a "mommy" surgery. My mother said my son was asking her about it the other day, so I thought I had better tell them a little more. I explained to them about it and they know their mom is going to get skinny. I also explained all the things I would be hooked up to after the surgery. They were a little interested, but for the most part weren't too concerned. I'm glad. I really didn't want it to be a big deal. I want their little worlds to be normal and unchanged....well until it starts changing for the better because they have a mommy who whats to do all kind of fun things!! I will update more tomorrow and let everyone know how preop went.
4/11/06 ONE WEEK FROM TODAY!!!!! I can hardly wait. I went to the hospital this morning for my preop. It went smoothly. Answered a tons of questions and they took some blood. I didn't need to have anything else done. My surgery will be at St. Franicis Women's. I used to work there in the ER, so I saw a few people that I knew. The nurse that did my preop said I was the nurse who treated her son a couple years ago. It is so weird being on the other side of the desk! Everything that she asked me, I have asked a million time before. Anyway, I can't wait. On a different note...I just want to say how happy I am to be meeting some of the greatest people at the preop meetings. I know that I have made new friends, and that is so exciting to me. Being overweight has always affected my desire to meet people. I am still a long way from out going, but I feel like this is already opening new doors for me and I haven't even had the surgery yet!! I strongly encourage anyone that is having this surgery to get to know the people at the meetings. The support there is tremendous. It is so easly to relate to everyone, because we all share so many of the same problems and feelings. It is hard for many skinny people to offer us support, even if they are our friends, because they just can't relate to being over weight. Everyone that I have met is so friendly and wonderful. I want to thank Kathy, Dawn, and Melony for all being fabulous women!!! Thank you for all the support you have given me, and when it is your turn I will be there for you. I think we will be great friends and great support for one another. I left the meeting last night feeling happier than I have felt in a long time. I can't wait until we are all at the postop meetings!!
4/12/16 Today is Wednesday. Only 6 more days!!! I attended my last Optifast meeting last night. The scale was down again. I have lost a total of 15.8 lbs in 3 weeks of Optifast. I couldn't believe the scale. It was wonderful. Even my 6 year old said she noticed i;m getting smaller. She said she can't see as much of my side (hip and butt) over the side of the car seat! I guess she sees a good bit fron the back seat!!! I tell you, kids can really see things in a different light!!! I have not been very good this week about exercising. I am going to do my aerobic tape when I finish this post. Our meeting last night was about EXERCISE!!! I sometime think that should be considered a cuss word. Michelle sais we needed to find something we really like to do for exercise. I have thought about it and I can't fins anything. I guess I just need to do something and hopefully I will learn to like it, or it will lead me to something that I do like. That is going to be the hardest part for me. It was so funny last night. One of the girls was talking about getting a pain in her side when she pushes herself to hard. Everyone of us knew exactly what she was talking about except Michelle. I looked over a this couple and said, " that is why she (Michelle) is up there and we are siitng here listening to her!!" Too funny!! Well, I guess I am off to aerobicize for a bit.
4/13/06 Another day marked off on my calendar. I am still in the race to get my house in order. I think today I am going to clean curtains and windows. I am also going to get my girls to clean the baseboards. It is so funny, they love to clean things like that , but absolutely hate to pick up toys and make their beds. We are having a cleaning party today. I want to get all the big stuff done this week, so that Monday I just have to tidy up. I have been thinking about what I want to do or experience after my weight loss. Here is a list that I have come up with.
1. I want to sit comfortably in any chair and not wonder if I am going to have a hard time getting out of it!
2. I want to buy clothes in any store.
3. I want to jump on the trampoline with my kids and not just watch.
4. I want to enjoy an intimate moment with Mike and not feel so self conscience about my weight. I hate for him to touch me, because I hate when he touches my fat.
5. I want to walk through a narrow opening and not have my hips touch the sides.
6. I want to go to the gym and LOVE it!
7. I want to wake up and not hurt when I get out of the bed.
8. I want to ride all the rides at Carowinds.
9. I want to run a marathon. I have always wanted to do this.
I know there are more things that I want to experience, this is just a beginning list. I am so excited to get on with my life. I really feel like this is going to be a rebirth. I don't want my children to remember when mommy was fat. I want them to remember having a fun and active mom who would do anything they they wanted. I am tired of telling my children no because my body doesn't want to get up and go.
4/14/16 Only 4 more days!!! I can't believe it. Have I said how excited I am?!!? My sister is coming Monday night to stay with my children. Right now she is in Las Vegas. VIVA LAS VEGAS!!!! It really worked out perfectly. Well...I'm sure she will be exhausted, but her boss was very understanding. They told her to take all the time she needed with her family. She will get home (her home) Sunday. Go to work on Monday and drive home (here) Monday night. She lives in Durham, so she will have about a 4 hour drive. My children are so excited about her coming. They love her to death. I haven't been very good about exercise this week, but I have cleaned my house!!! That should count for something! My daughter is having a friend come over this afternoon to play. I was able to use that to my advantage this morning. They have been pretty good about helping. I am goig to do a few last minute things Monday. Having 3 kids, my house can go from cleaned to aftermath of a tornado in about 30 minutes. My husband is really good about cleaning, so I am sure he will do somethings this weekend. He is much more of a neat freak that I am!! I went to Walmart yesterday and picked up some little 4oz. containers with lids. I also picked up a little funnel. I thought I would need that to add Unjury to my drink bottles. I don't want to spill that stuff everywhere. I think everything else is in line. I have 2 bottles of Isopure 20oz. drinks. I have several crystal light mixes and my unjury. Oh, and I picked up several sugar free jellos and some broth. I should be ready to come home after surgery and start sipping!!! I hope everyone has a great weekend. I will be working. I don't know who busy I will be because of Easter. We shall see. Happy Easter!!
4/17/06 Tomorrow at this time I should be on the operating table! I can't believe it is finally here. I am so ready. Today I am drinking clear liquids only. I know at dinner time I will be wondering where my salad is!!! I have eaten one very day since starting Optifast!!!! It will be ok. Yesterday at church my husband talked with a woman who had the surgery about 1 1/2 years ago by Dr. Bour. She has done so well. I think she has lost a total of 150 pound!!!! I am so glad he was able to spend some time with her. I think it has eased his mind a little. He kept telling me last night all the little tips she gave. I think I have taken care of everything. I have emailed my kids teachers to remind them and give them emergency numbers. My son is going to be in a Chess tournament on Thursday. I hate that I will miss it. He is the only third grader representing his school!! There is a 4th and 5th grader going with him as well. I am so proud of him!! Well, I guess this will be my last update until I am on the losing side!! I want to thank everyone who has kept up with my silly self over the last several weeks. The support has been more than I could have ever imagined!! I love all of ya!! I just can't wait until we are all on the losing side sitting back and saying remember when..........
4/24/06...I think! I have lsot track of time. I want to write everything down from my surgery up until today. I don't know if I will get it all done at one time. It makes me sooo dizzy looking at the screen. Going back to last Tuesday 4/18/06. I arrived at the hospital at 8:30 and was taken back quickly to preop. Answered a few questions...emptied my bladder....put on the gown....the nurse took my vitals and checked my blood sugar ( something they do at Womens)....had the IV started...got a shot of Versed and a shot of heparin ( that goes in the belly). MY hushand and mom came back and waited with me. MY surgery was scheduled for 10:30 and did not go until 12:30!! As the nurse anesthetist and several others came to get me, she gave me some more meds in my IV on the way to the OR. I remember rolling in the door...talking to the OR nurse for a second...the mask covering my face...the next thing I was waking up in horrible pain in recovery. I remember having tons of pain. I don't know how long I was in recovery...it was a blur. I vaguely remember getting in my room. They had my oxygen up so high and it was seriously aggrevating my nose. I had the hose on my legs...foley...and oxygen all night. I remember the morphine making me itch...but it handled my pain, so I didn't complain. I was in and out of sleep the rest of the night. I did get out of the bed a couple of times. Day 2...they took out my foley at 6am...decreased my IV fluids...and changed the dose on my PCA pump. I went down for my swallow test. That was absolutely awful. I was so sick after swallowing that stuff. The tech was great...she had a cold wash cloth...emesis basin and towel waiting for me. Fortunately I did not throw up. When I got to my room, my nurse gave me something for nausea and that helped. Dr. Bour came in around 11 and said I was able to start drinking. 1 oz. per hour!!! OH, I almost forgot the best part...when the man came to get me to take me to Xray...he must have had a pediatric wheelchair!!! I have never seen one that small. I looked at it....attempted to plant my big old butt in it...then I stopped and turned around and told him I had just had GASTRIC BYPASS AND WOULD NEED A BIGGER CHAIR!!!!! You could tell he didn't have a clue. It was kind of funny. I will finish this tomorrow. I keep ahving to go back and fix the mistakes!!! Ok, I am back to finish the story. The rest of day 2 went very well. I was up out of the bed a lot. I had several visitors, including my angel Kathy. I really enjoyed my visit with her. She looks great. I do think I over did it a little that day. I was extremely tired that night. I walked several times in the hall. I was able to keep my hose off that day, because I was getting up by myself. Day 3...Dr. Bour came in early and told me if I tolerated clear liquids well I could go home after 2pm. They brought me crystal light and broth. I was able to ahve 2-3 oz per hour. Everything is soooo sweet. I had to dilute the crystal light half and half with water. I didn't realy enjoy the broth, so I stuck with the CL. I basically waited for 2pm. At 2 I was in the wc headed home. The pain was moderate. They stopped my pca first thing that morning, because I developed a terrible headache (side effect of morphine). I was able to go until about 9:30. I did have a pain pill then. I took another one before I left the hopsital. I was so glas to be home. I continued to have my clear liquids that day and started adding my protein. That was where the trouble began. I was able to getin about 9 grams the first day. On friday I continued to try to get it in, but it was a loosing battle. Everything tasted terrible to me. I could not tolerate the sweet tastes. MY mouth would water and I felt like I would throw up. It was terrible. SAturday was even worse. I didn't want to put anything in my mouth. I decided to forgo the protein and just keep myself hydrated for fear of going back to the hospital. I could only tolerate lemonade and water. Sunday I felt a bit better, but was very weak and tired. I continued to push the fluids and attempt to get in some small amts of protein. On Monday I called Chris and spoke with him in teh morning. He said I was dehydrated, which I knew and severely behind on my protein. WE talked about some things to try and I sent my husband back to Nutrition Solutions for more clear liquid protein samples ( I sent him on Friday as well). Anyway, yesterday I was able to get in about 33 grams of protein. I know it is severely below what I need, but it is better than the 5gram I got over the weekend! I also forced myself to drink until I feel that litle bit of pressure in my chest. Then I stop and wait a few minutes and fill it back up!!!
Today is Tuesday 4/25/06.. I have already had a protein drink with 20 grams this morning. My goal today is 40 grams. I know that is not a lot, but it makes me sooo sick. I hate the sweet fruity flavors. They are absolutely awful. I have never been a popsicle or jello fan and it is very obvious this week. I am having less and less pain. I am able to go all day without pain meds. I have discomfort, but it is tolerable. I am starting to have a bit of discomfort at my drain site. I have heard that is the worse and it definitely had that potential. I am jsut trying to make it to Thursday, when I can move up to full liquids. I love yogurt and milk, so I think it will be easier to get in the protein. My husbans is going to the store for me tomorrow to get some stuff, so I will be ready!!! I think I am going to take a little nap. I still am very tired all the time. I know it has to do with the fact taht my protein intake and fluid intake has been so low. Today, I actually felt the best since coming home. I know I still have a long road ahead of me, but I will take it one day at a time..one minute at a time if I have to.
4/26/06 Good morning! I actually got up and out of the house this morning. I took my kids to school and then my youngest and I went to the grocery store. WooHoo. I am exhausted!! It felt good to get up and do something though. I am going to relax a bit and rest for a while. I don't want to over do it. I have to be at Dr. Bour's office at 8am in the morning and then tomorrow I have to pick up a large pizza/cookie dough order from my kids school. Yummm. I know I will have a busy day tomorrow. I am so excited about going tomorrow. I am anxious to get on the scales and add some more variety to my diet. I am feeling pretty good. I haven't had a "why did I do this" moment yet. I am glad of that. I felt sure that at some point I would. It may be around the corner, but as for now it has stayed away. Yesterday I made reservations for our beach trip this year. We are going in August, so I am anxious to see how much I will have lost by then. I know I won't be close to a sexy babe on the beach, but I am sure I will be much happier than last year. I am so excited about my life...and that I am starting to live it!!!
4/27/06 Today was my first follow up appointment with Dr. Bour and my FULL LIQUID diet meeting. I was so excited to go to this meeting. First, I haven't been on a scale since my last Optifast meeting. Second, I WANT NEW FOODS!! During this diet phase, we only need to supplement our protein with 60 grams. Of course, I haven't taken in 60 grams at all in one day. I have today though. I bought one pack of Isopure Dutch Chocolate (aka HEAVEN) it has 50 grams in it. I drank that this morning after getting home. I also has an Adkins Advantage vanilla drink this afternoon. IT has 18grams. After having those shakes, I have had no desire to put anything else in my mouth. I did just have 2 oz. of cream of tomato soup and that was great. Tomorrow I am going to start with a "meal plan". We are suppose to get in 6 "feedings" a day. I am going to put myself on a schedule. I think it will be easier to go ahead and have set times to eat. We have food chart to keep track of all of this. I have decided to include my weight on my profile. I have always had a hard time saying out loud how much I weigh, but I am going to do it so I can keep up with my progress. I am going to try to weigh only at the Drs office for right now. I really don't want to fall into the trap of worrying about stalls and things like that. I know that I am going to lose weight during this initial stage. I just don't want to be obsessed. Oh, I saw Melony and her husband at the office this morning. She was there for her preop and I have to just say how beautiful she is. She looked so excited and you could see it in her eyes. I am so happy that her approval came through!!
4/28/06 Today is friday and I am so excited. I don't have to work this weekend! Last weekend I felt like crap, so I didn't care that it was the weekend. My husband is coming home today at 11:30. He is supposed to get off early every Friday, but I don't remember the last time he did. We are going to venture out to Super Walmart in Central. I want to pick up a few things, but I don't want to go by myself. I need to get some more protein powder. I think we will go by GNC as well. I am enjoying my 2nd feeding of the day. This morning I had cream of tomato soup. Now I am having vanilla pudding. It is going to be hard to get in my next feeding because we will be gone. I will probably be a little late with it. That will through me a little off the rest of the day. I feel better today than I did yesterday. It seems like evryday, it just gets a little bit better. I have gotten in one 20 gram protein shake as well this morning. That is really the key... FLUIDS...FLUIDS...FLUIDS...PROTEIN...PROTEIN...PROTEIN. I knew that before the surgery, but now I am living it. I am not very tired today, but it is only 10:15. I am sure after my Walmart trip I will be tired. Tomorrow, I am going to jion the gym. My mom is going to join with me. She is also overweight. She attended the info seminar with me, but she has been able to make changes in her life and has lost over 30 pounds since the first of the year. She is doing great and looks great. She said that me having surgery has helped to motivate her to take charge of her weight as well. I am so proud of her. She has been exercising everyday and watching what she eats. I am excited about going to the gym together. My husband works out there, but he gets up at 5:30 and goes before work, so I can't go with him. I am happy that I will have someone to push me to go, when I wimp out. I have a habit of doing that. My mom has really started enjoying her exercise, so I know she will push me to go. I just can't explain this feeling I have. It is euphoria! I have never felt this way. I am starting to feel happy, I mean really happy, for the first time in my life. I have always lived behind the mask. Smiling, laughing, pretending to feel great, when in fact I felt like crawling in a hole and dying a lot of the time. I feel like I have just been going throught the motions and not really living.This surgery is going to be the best thing to happen in my life. I get myelf back, my husband is going to get his wife back, and for the first time my children are going to have a mom that is there 100% for them. I just can't wait to live my life.
5/1/06 Monday... I have my first postop meeting tonight. I am excited to be going. I can't wait to see everyone. I had a great weekend. Yesterday I was able to attend church and Sunday school. I usually don't get to because I am working. It was nice to be back in SS. I miss them all. last night we had a dinner at the Ramada Inn in Clemson. We are in the beginning process of building a new childrens church. It is so great that we have outgrown our childrens area in the church. We are so excited about the growth. We had a wonderful time last night. The children all had a party at the church and all the grown ups when out. Many people have been surprised that I was not afraid or worried about the surgery. I really believe that my faith is what gave me the sense of peace that I have. I asked for guidance and I received it. God is Good! I can't decide if I am going to weigh tonight at my meeting. I had said that I would weigh on Thursday when I go to have my drain removed. I might have to weigh tonight though. My husband was hugging me last night and he said he could tell that I had lost weight. He was able to reach further around me. I was excited to hear that, but also embarrassed to know that my husband couldn't get his arms all the way around me. I have such a complex sometimes. I know that he meant it in a good way, and I heard that, but I also heard the part about being too fat for my husband to hold me. I hope that the insecurities slowly fade away like the fat. The full liquids are going down great. I haven't ahd any problems so far. I am thankful. My tastes seems to be normalizing some as well. I still prefer plain water to crystal light. That has amazed me!! Anyway, things are going very well. I am excited to add new foods, but I am ok with evrything right now. My son was asking me last night when I would eat real food again. They think it is so funny when I sit down with my little 2.75oz bowl with my meal in it and my baby spoon. I really thought I would have trouble taking small bites, but it hasn't been bad. I have always eaten very fast, so I thought it would be a problem. I think the fear of something not going down right takes care of wanting to inhale something. I will post tomorrow and update after the meeting.
5/2/06 Well...I exercised this morning!!!!! Someone call Guiness!! My husband has really been ENCOURAGING me to join the gym. I joined yesterday and did not work out. That was all I could stand to do. I decided that I would go first thing this morning and I did. I was very happy that I did not do a "drive by" I have been know to pull into the parking lot and drive right back out. I did that at the Y once or twice. I pulled in and these very slender women carrying infant seats were going in and I could not bring myself to follow them in with my BOB (big old butt), so I pulled right back out of my parking spot. My husband could not believe that I would do that. INSECURITES...INSECURITES. Anyway, I attended my first postop meeting last night. It was so neat seeing everyone. I did get on the scale and it hasn't moved since Thursday. I was a bit discouraged. I was also mad at myself, because I had said I would weigh on Thursday. I am trying to put it out of my head. This is exactly whatI did not want to do...become obsessed with the scale. I know that I am losing weight. Anyway, I am trying not to think about it. I am doing exactly what I am supposed to do and i will continue to do that. I have decided to be proactive in starting a support group. I have called St. Francis Women's and Family hospital in an attempt to have a place for us to meet. I wanted some place that is semi convenient for many people. I know that many of Dr. Bour's patients are all over the upstate. Theya re supposed to call me back and let me know if we can use a conference room. Hopefully, this will work and we will be able to get together 1-2 monthly. I am really excited about a support group. I know I would benefit from it.
5/3/06 Second day at the gym!!! wooohooo for me. It really isn't that bad, I guess. I did see someone that i know, though. She doesn't weight 110 soaking wet. It was ok. I walked a mile and rode the bike for 2 miles. I didn't want to do too much. Yesterday, my drain really bothered me. There was a little dab of blood on the dressing this morning. I can't wait until tomorrow when this crazy thing comes out. The past couple of days my stomach has been a little upset. I have made several trips to the bathroom!!! This morning it feels better, I hope that was the last of it. YOu know you can only spray so much Lysol!!! Anyway, on a more pleasant note...I think I am going to change my diet a little. I ahve been making one protein shake a day and putting 60 of protein in it. I think I am going to break it up to 2 shakes a day. I need to ask how much protein our bodies can absorb at a time. I think I may not be getting the full advantage of all the protein at one time. I am so excited for Melony and Dawn this month. I know they are so excited about their surgeries. I can't wait until we are all at postops together. I hope that they can continue with Optifast with a peace about it . It can be really hard. You are feeding your body almost like postop, without the benefit of beening postop. Your stomach is still large and wanting food. It is very challenging. I pray for strength for them.
5/4/06 The drain is gone!!!!! I am so glad to be rid of that thing. I am still a bit sore on that side, but I'm sure it will go away. It did not hurt one bit taking it out. There is a weird little sensation and that is it. I am not going back to work this weekend. I am going to wait until next weekend since it will take several days for this to scab up. I don't want to risk myself having an open wound. Katie suggested that I wait anyway. I don't mind, I enjoyed spending the time with my family last weekend and everyone is excited that I'll be home this weekend. I went to the gym again. one mile on the treadmill and two on the stationary bike. I did bump up the incline one bump. I don't even know how much that was. I just pushed it one time. tomorrow I will push it two times I guess. Every time I go, I guess it is getting a little easier. I still don't like it though. Next Tuesday I get to go for my pureed meeting. I am excited about that. I am doing fine on full liquids though. I love cottage cheese. I wasn't sure if I would like it blended. but it is fine. I think I am going to make a different soup today. I have just been drinking tomato, I think I want a change. I did get on the scale today and it was down a hair. At least it was down.
5/5/06 Good friday morning! I did not go to the gym this morning. Yesterday I was in terrrible pain. I had my drain removed and that went fine, but as the day progressed, my left side began to hurt terribly. I couldn't even stand up straight. I ended up taking a pain pill after my husband got home and another before going to bed. I don't know waht caused the pain, but it was terrible. I think that maybe the exercise and the difficulty going to teh bathroom may have contributed to it. Ok, I am going to get gross for a minute. This week at the beginning of the week, I had a bout of diarrhea and cramping. Then it seems yesterday I was terribly constipated. My bowels are having a difficult time adjusting. I took some Milk of Mag last night and that has helped the matter. We will see how it goes for the next few days. I have heard people talking about problems with constipation, so I'm not surprised if this becomes an issue. My stomach does feel better today, but i just wanted to take a break from the gym. I think I wll go for a walk with my family this evening to make sure I get in some exercise. My kids like to ride their bikes while my husband and I follow behind them. My husband was asking me what I wanted for Mother's Day. Usually, it is a nice dinner...candy. That sort of thing. I told hime that I would like for him to plants some flowers and do soemthing like that this year. I think that is what I am going to do for my mom as well. My parents are going on vacation next week and will be gone for moms day. I think we will go to her house and plant some pretty flowers and get some hanging baskets for her to enjoy when they get home. All my life, holidays have revolved around food. What are we going to eat!!!????? It is kind of nice to take the emphasis off of food and put it on other things. my husband company is having family day this weekend and usually I would be excited about the hot dogs and junk food. This year I am exc
About Me
Easley, SC
Location
27.5
BMI
Surgery
04/18/2006
Surgery Date
Feb 22, 2006
Member Since
