Michelle Ma Belle

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I quit smoking yesterday. Saturday night I smoked the last cigarette. Boy, this is hard. I have been very cranky and irritable, tired, and depressed. Who knew that a little stick could have so much power over a person. It's kind of scary, actually. So, I'm just taking it day by day. I keep telling myself that I'll be able to smoke after surgery, but I don't want to do that either. So, for now, I'll just psych myself out and after surgery I won't allow myself any. I should be ok by then. I just want to be healthy! And cigarettes aren't...

I'm also having such a hard time trying to lose pre-op weight. I need to lose 20 lbs. I have quit drinking caffeine and have a pretty good handle on that and I quit smoking, but don't have a handle on that yet. So, losing weight is not very easy. I'm going to a support group meeting tonight, so hopefully some of the pre-ops OR post-ops can help me.

This week has been an eventful week as far as pre-op requirements go. Tuesday, I was supposed to have an appointment with Dr. Daniels, the psychiatrist. But, my car wouldn't start, so I had to reschedule for today. Today's appointment went well. She just asked a bunch of questions about my childhood, any meds I'm on, how long I've been battling my weight, any drugs/alcohol used by me or family members, depression/anxiety, do I hear things or see things that aren't there, etc. It lasted about an hour. I don't see how she won't approve me. I'm a very sane woman...sometimes... :)

Anyway, yesterday I had an upper GI. Barium? Yuck. It was really gross, like drinking liquid chalk. But, the cool part was that I got to see the barium going down my esophagus to my stomach! I've always loved stuff like that and it was very interesting to see MY stomach and MY esophagus. They do look very much like the ones you see in the textbooks, but it was cool knowing that they were mine!

So, now I have another appointment with Dr. Daniels (since I missed the first one) next Thursday. She says we're going to talk about my eating habits. Oh BOY! Kidding! I'm glad we're made to do this kind of thing before surgery. I think it is necessary.

Anyway, that's it for now. I have an appointment next week with my nutritionist and another one with a smoking cessation department in the hospital. I'm going to try to do it on my own, but it will be good to have the support anyway. I have to do it if I want this surgery!

Well, last night I finally got my CPAP. I only have moderate sleep apnea and my airflow level (I don't know the medical word for it) is only 7. The range is 4 - 25. So, I'm at a very low air pressure, which is good...I'll probably not need the thing a month after surgery. Oh well. At least I can sleep now. It was a pretty good night's sleep. I don't think I'm going to be able to feel a big difference because mine is not severe. I've heard that in severe cases, you notice a change immediately.

I also found out this morning that I am approved for a $12,000 loan! I was so nervous about that because I don't have that kind of money laying around for surgery, so I would have had to put it off and save until either A. I came up with the money or B. Aetna covered the surgery at 100%. I'm just glad that I haven't had any HUGE snags in this whole process as of yet. My fingers are still crossed.

Today I had my gallbladder ultrasound. It was pretty uneventful. No gallstones. I'm not sure if that's good or not because if I had had gallstones and needed my gallbladder removed during surgery, my insurance would have covered more. Currently, they only cover 50%. Oh well. Better than nothing.

I met with my surgeon, Dr. Aranow this morning and I really like him. I was kind of shocked because I weigh 23 pounds more than I thought I did. Well, all the more reason to exercise and get it off before surgery. I have an appointment with my NUT, Elina Schwartz, on 7/18 and an appointment for a gallbladder ultrasound on 6/28. I also found out today that I could potentially be having the surgery in August. Wow. That is amazing. So, now I have to lose at least 20 lbs., quit smoking, go to my appointments and go to at least 2 more support group meetings and I'm done. That is amazing to me. I really thought that this would take until at least January. Maybe it still will. Who knows.

Before I even went to Dr. A's first seminar, I had my PCP refer me for a sleep study. I was having problems sleeping and would be exausted all day, but that in itself has saved me so much time. I had the initial study done on 4/9, where I was diagnosed with moderate sleep apnea. Then, on 5/21 I had the CPAP titration. Tomorrow it will be 2 months since I began this process and I still haven't gotten my CPAP. Hopefully that will be all set by next week. After the surgery though, I probably won't even need it!