day one

Feb 13, 2012

2 weeks from today I will be having weight loss surgery.  today i start my pre-op diet.  i weighed in at 270. head up...shoulders back.....i can do this.  i can do this...this is what i've wanted my whole life.  every falling star, every coin thrown in a fountain.....ever since the taunting began by my brothers and grade school classmates.  my moment has come...my wish has come true.  i can't believe its happening.  or is it?  i keep waiting for someone to say HA GOTCHA! or PSYCH!!!  if not that, then what will it be that  will have it all fall apart right in front of me?  the loan company made a mistake?.....the surgeon strained his hand playing golf?.....or i come down with something unknown to modern medicine & they won't let me board the plane because of the foot growing outside of my neck!!!!!!!  every thought of every moment of every minute in me is consumed by feb 28th 2012...my surgery date.  snap....back to todays reality....work (grrrrr).  10am....off to drink my protein shake....& then off to work.  Dear God....please give me strength.....please don't let me fall to pieces when my bood sugar drops out due to not eating when i want, what i want and however much i want!!!!!!  lol.  In Jesus name...Amen

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