April 27, 2014

Apr 27, 2014

Well, a lot has happened since the last post. I'm afraid I don't have much good news to report. My grandma died on Easter sunday. Very sad, I just wanted more time- is't that what everyone wants though? Seems like there is never enough time. Anyway, she was in hospice and was very comfortable, so that's good. My mom and dad were both there so I'm relieved she wasn't alone. Anyway, the funeral was Friday in Florida, which is where she used to live. She was buried next to her husband. The service was nice, I did a reading as well as one other cousin, and my dad and one other uncle gave the eulogy. It was a beautiful day, and I think she would have liked it. It was nice to see all my cousins even though it wasn't under better circumstances. Eating well while in Florida was tough, though. This whole past week I have been feeling very depressed and I have had a hard time focusing. I felt like I was eating a lot of bad stuff because I just didn't care, but I actually weighed myself this morning and I lost 4 pounds! Go figure. So now I am trying to get back on track, which includes starting to log again on MFP.

There is also still quite a lot of stuff going on with my sister. We got along ok in Florida, mostly just because I was trying to pretend things were ok for my dad's sake, but we had a huge screaming match when we got home. She just said something rude and I completely lost my cool and just snapped at her and totally unloaded. I had a huge breakdown and cried for and yelled for about 2 hours straight. I have just had it, I can't take anymore from her. My parents feel the same way, so we are trying to leave her alone for now. I know it seems dramatic but it seems like she will never talk to me again, and that just hurts so much because I don't have very many friends, and my husband tries but he doesn't really get it, so I feel all alone. I'm going to see my therapist soon, I hope she can help me. To top that off, I have about a week left of school and 2 major projects to complete. I am trying my best with those but at times, it is very hard to care and I just want to get it done. I'm making pretty good progress on them though, so I have hope. I have decided not to take a class over the summer though, and I don't even know what I'm doing next semester. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time, I cant really handle more than that right now.

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