ode to the fishes

Apr 06, 2007

Bubbles -  You were a good fish.  You were just old.  You played with us to the best of your ability, and always let me know when you were hungry.  You lived through 4 different cats who loved to drink your water and swat at you.  You lived through Abby banging on the tank.  And you lived through the dark ages (our bulbs kept blowing on the lights)  What was it that finally made you give up?  Did I forget to feed you that morning(hmmm)?  Were you too lonely without Sucker and couldn't go on?  Or was it the clean water in a clean tank that finally did you in?  I guess I will never know.  You were a good fish.  And you will be missed.  I will not replace you with another ( I waited long enough for you to die - what the h&*% took so long anyway).  I just hope in fishy heaven that you are happily chasing the cats.  - Your family.  
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I shouldn't have opened my big mouth

Mar 25, 2007

To add to the mess I was in this week, I got home friday and was served court papers.  Our landlord is trying to evict us!!!  Just f*(*&^&%$ great!!!  We finally settle down some saturday and I had to go to the ER with my husband for chest pain (he has a history of heart problems).  They admitted him and I spent the night alone . . . well almost.  My brother in law had taken the girls for the night and had to bring my Abby home cause she was crying.  A bit unusual for her but as stressed as I have been I should have known she would have a problem being away from me.  NO MORE PROBLEMS PLEASE!!!!
Bengal Tiger

Just when I thought it could get no worse

Mar 23, 2007

This is completely venting, crying and getting off my chest, just bare with me please.  Yesterday was a hell of a day.  It started off with me being told my dh and I make 90 too much(gross of course) to get help fixing our home, which is falling apart around us.  Then I made the mistake of checking our bank acct for money to find that where there should be some there was none.  As a matter of fact we were NEGATIVE.  This during a week that things have to get paid or bad things will happen.  Then while bawling my eyes out and keeping this from my husband, I get a call from his sister, his uncle died yesterday.  Ok by now I am having a breakdown, and at work having to answer calls right.  My DH calls, our daughter Megan was hit by a boy (she has had trouble with him since they were 4).  She says she is ok but that it hurts, were talking her eye.  ENOUGH PLEASE! How much more am I expected to take?
A few minutes after hanging up with DH he calls again.  His mother is having trouble breathing and is unresponsive so his sister is running her to the dr.  Thankfully it was only an anxiety attack ( she has already had a stroke a few years ago)  I finally get home and have to return somethings to the store so I bring her with me.  All the sudden she is in tears and complaining her eye hurts worse and she is seeing halo's around objects.  So since we are around the corner from the ER, that is where we head.  In unforseen circumstances we are actually out of there in record time, 1 1/2 hours.  She is swollen and has a scratch on her cornea.  So now to deal with this boys parents.  I am so tired of him beating on her.  Boys should not be hitting girls regardless of the reason.  And how am I supposed to pay my bills.  And when are things going to calm down for me?  I just can't take it anymore.  

Here we go again . . .

Mar 16, 2007

So the wait is on yet again . . . I had my intake appts yesterday and now I have to wait 5 more weeks for my physical.  I have no patience at all and am trying to keep from counting down the minutes.  Anyone have any suggestions?  I know this is a long process but sometimes it just feels longer than necessary.  Good news is I am down 8 lbs, but I need to loose another 5-6.  I am sure in a month I can do that -  but easter is coming up.  Can you say cadbury egg addict?  
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aren't we just funny

Mar 09, 2007

A few months ago my husband said I could get a new cat (seriously depressed with piglet gone).  So we did.  Taterbug.  She looks just like my Gabe (dog).  She is white with spots, her spots are shaped like hearts and colored just like Gabe.  So anyway our biggest gripe is she doesn't like to be petted (except in the middle of the night when I am sound asleep and want to be left alone).  Well she must finally be getting comfortable with us, especially the dog.  Now Gabe is a pitbull but my husband says he is a pansy (hey I'm not arguing I don't want an aggressive dog).  I was watching tv the last few nights and he is laying on the floor sound asleep - the cat jumps on him and bites him right in the ass.  I am laughing hysterically.  He takes so much from her but has never done anything, he just lays there and looks at me like "mom why are you letting her do this".    She hits him and then bushes her tail like she is scared, it's so funny.  Anyhow, she is the queen of the house, we must bow to her or life is hell.  Just thought I would share a funny story.  


Mar 01, 2007

Why do people insist on giving me advice when they have no idea what they are talking about?  People keep telling me are you sure about wls you won't be able to do such and such or eat such and such.  You won't be able to last.  Can't I get positive feedback?  why is it so hard?  If you have nothing nice to say keep your F**&%^$&* mouth shut!!!!  They even went so far as to tell my 9 year old - your mother can die from this surgery, do you really want her to have it?  HOW DARE YOU!!!!  I have spent days trying to calm her and tell her the benefits.  Hopefully when it is time she will have calmed down.  She understands why I am having this surgery and knows that the chance of dying are pretty slim, but she is only 9.  I am soooooo tired of hearing what are you gonna due after surgery you won't be able to eat that.  Duh why do you think I am having the surgery.  I haven't had it yet so if I want to eat it leave me alone.  
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one step further

Feb 22, 2007

I had my group appt. yesterday and am now one step closer to wls.  I am getting even more nervous now and am hoping I will calm down soon.  All in all I have lost 16 lbs since January 3 and as of today have gained back.  I am really getting depressed about it and that makes me head for the chocolate.  My daughter is also very scared about this surgery and is afraid.  I tried to tell her that it was a good risk to take.  Hopefully she will feel better when it is time.  Until next time . . .
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Jan 18, 2007

Weighed myself this morning and I think the scale is broke cause it says I lost 10lbs these last two weeks.  WOW!!!  But I think it is time to up the calorie's I am eating so that I am not feeling so yuk and I don't loose too fast.  


Jan 17, 2007

Ok so here I am trying to loose the weight with no help, but I feel like I am starving.  I put all my stuff into fitday and I am monitoring what I eat.  I have no clue what the best calorie, protein, fat and carb intake is for me so I am trying to stay around 1000 calories a day and have more protein then carbs but holy cow it is hard.  Fruits and veggies all contain a lot of carbs.  I weigh myself tomorrow and will see if the pain is worth it these last two weeks.   

and now . . .

Jan 05, 2007

I had my first appt. with the dr. and now I am feeling better.  At least not so antsy about making the decision to have wls.  Everything went great.  I do have to loose 10-20 lbs though before he will do the surgery.  So here is hoping . . .  I have to go to two more appts over the next two months but those are no sweat things.  The only part I am worried about is getting scoped.  I just don't want to have any complications that would keep me from having the surgery.  So now for the diet . . . Yuck!!!
Snow TigerStripes

About Me
corning, NY
Surgery Date
Jan 19, 2006
Member Since

Friends 37

Latest Blog 39
what's been happening
Guess what?
clearing my mind
My crazy life
First most embarassing moment - post op
Holy WOW!
moving again
Am I dead and other thoughts 5 weeks out