msbjames1
Eating Disorder?
Apr 07, 2011
They said my surgery is just a tool. I have been trying to remind myself of that as well. It is working well on it's own but I haven't been doing what I was trained or told to do. I am to work out everyday; stay away from high fat/sugar foods; and don't eat chips or crackers. I haven't followed these directions to a T yet.Granted I am still losing weight because I can't put the food in. But one day I was craving sweets so bad I was able to scarf down a whole chocolate cup cake, a WHOLE one. I felt bad afterwards, more guilt than anything, but I didn't get sick like they said I would. I guess because I got the sleeve and not the by-pass I can get a way with crap like that. That scares me!
One day I was making macaroni and cheese and baking chicken nuggets for the kids. I took a bite of the chicken nugget just to see if it was done. Realizing I wasn't supposed to do that I got scared, thinking I would get sick because I'm not supposed to eat chicken until I'm six months out of the surgery. The nugget did absolutely nothing to me and it tasted great. Needless to say, I finished that nugget.
I have been doing risky things like this and I know that if I keep it up I will eventually stretch my stomach back out and gain my weight back if I don't learn how to eat right now. I don't want to be like some people who get the by-pass surgery and eat their way out of it. I'm only on the turkey and overcooked veggies right now. But I don't know what to do with my cravings. I get hungry sometimes and I guess I'll just have to pay attention to whether or not I truly am.
My cousin Viv got the gastric by-pass just about 3 years ago. She has a 2 year old daughter and a drinking problem. She doesn't believe you can eat yourself out of the surgery even though she's seen people who have done it. Her motto is you can eat anything you want, it just has to be in small portions. With gastric surgery you have no choice but to eat in small portions. But I don't believe you can eat anything you want. She is beginning to gain her weight back but she says it's just her excess skin. Now she wants to get a tummy tuck and lipo. What are they going to do about the fat around her face? She doesn't see that. That's not extra skin, it's weight gain, but she won't listen to me.
She says, "Wait until you are 3 or 4 years out. You're going to be eating the way used to." With my little binging of snacks I wonder if she is right. She claims the baby and not working out for a month is causing her excess weight. She never claims the alcohol has anything to do with her weight gain. I have to get on this exercise kick to improve my outcomes.
On a good note, I've lost 37 pounds in 9 weeks. I no longer have to take blood pressure meds and I feel great. To be honest, I really don't care if I get any smaller. My doctor wants me to get down to 150, 160 as soon as I can (by July 1). That's only 30 pounds more.
I'm sure I can make it if I were to add exercise regularly to my daily life. It's funny, I always imagine myself running or doing what we call in basketball "lines." When I did make it to the gym I actually felt comfortable enough to jog on the eliptical for 20 minutes. That was a great workout, but I haven't been back since. My excuse is I don't have the car to get to the gym or when I do have the car I'm too busy running other errands. I hate that about my procrastinating self. I know I need to get up, walk, do something productive besides play games on pogo.com.
I want to be more active but I'm just so damn lazy. I'm gonna have to get a Nike poster that says "Just Do It" like I had in college when I had to write essays. I even bought myself a new pair of walking shoes and found out that I didn't wear an 8 1/2 because of my weight but a 7 1/2 wide. I'm glad I know my shoe size now.
Here's to overcoming weight issues, eating disorders and all......