Chocolate Angel
January 2006 Entries - The First Month
Dec 31, 2005
1/1/2006
Happy New Year!!! I can't believe it. Well, I am still getting my protein. I am embarrased to admit it I was constipated today, but I am much better today. I have excersized everyday this week and my thighs are sore like WHOAA!! I am keeping up my water and making sure I get at least 40-60 grams of protein a day. I even bought an unflavored powder protein and I put in my yogart and stuff like that. If I have broke 500 calories in a day, it would be an absolute miracle. I swear though I am ready to have some soft mushy food. I am tired of just protein shakes, I want to incorporate something else. Well, I see Dr. Overcash on Tuesday to have my staples out and this will be the first time I have been weighed since surgery. I have avoided the scales like the plague. I am afraid of becoming a scale ho. So I am excited to see what the verdict is on my two week weight loss. Hopefully, he will let me move on to the next stage. Well, until Tuesday, in the words of "Regine" of Living Single, smooches.
1/3/06
Today I went to see Dr Overcash, when I got on the scale I was nervous, but I wanted to know. Well I have lost a total of 19lbs since my surgery date!!!! Tomorrow makes exactly two weeks for me and I am down 19lbs! I am sooooo happy. Last night I tried on an outfit in my closet that pre surgery was tight, now it fits perfectly! Thank you Lord! I feel sooo good! I just had to share! I am about to go walking! I cannot believe in 13 days I lost 19lbs!! WOOOHOOOO! I must say this 19lbs include 3lbs that I had lost on surgery day, how I don't know, but either way I am just glad that I have lost some weight! I am l looking forward to great things!!!! YAAAAHHHH!!!!
1/7/06
Well, just to recap the last few days, I am still exercising everyday. I am noticing a difference in my clothes and it makes me feel so good. My favorite jeans no longer feel like they are cutting off my circulation. I wore some heels for the first time since surgery yesterday and my feet felt SO much better walking in them. It was wonderful. The only down fall this week is I threw up Thursday night, but it was my own fault, I ate to fast. Lesson learned because I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL THAT EVER AGAIN! I went to see my PCP this week and she and her staff were so happy for me. Because of all the drama Dr. Jawad's staff put me and them through, I wrote them a thank you card and brought them a cake, without them, I wouldn't be enjoying my post op success. They were just as excited for me as I am, so it felt really good to have the support of my PCP. Anywho, I am in between classes, started back yesterday, so I just wanted to say whats on my mind. Talk to you later.
1/16/06
Well, today I started back to work. It was so cool to hear the compliments, wow you look thinner already! Many people wanted to know how did it feel, how do I eat. Inquiring minds definately wanted to know the deal. And I have no problem expressing myself about it. My surgery is nothing that I am ashamed of. I am proud of my 3.5 inch scare. Its a symbol of my new life. I made sure I had my vitamins today, water and protein shakes. My doctor wants me to start on regular food so I have been intergrating soft solids. I can't believe Saturday is my month. I was going to get on a scale, but I decided that I was going to wait until 2/7 when I go back to the doctor. The weight will come off in due time, so I am not going to stress about. I am still exercising on the regular and I can definately see how it has helped in this process. I am so happy God gave me this gift of a new life. Anywho, talk to you soon.
1/18/06
Well one of my co-workers convinced me to get on a scale today. I have to say I was nervous I would be disappointed. She was going to keep it as a surprise until Saturday at my one month anniversary, but the wait was killing me. I am proud to say I am now down a total of 30.5lbs since 12/21/05! I am so happy!!! I was about to cry. God, this feels so very good! I don't even know what to do or say! I swear, when I left Dr O's office on the third, I said to myself I just wanted to lose 11lbs to hit 30 and God was so good he let me hit it and then a little more. This has put me in even greater spirits. It feels so and I do mean so good to have accomplished my first mini goal of 30lbs in my first month. My second mini goal is 30lbs in the second month as well. God willing I will make it.
Anywho, on a strange note I had a dream last night that I drank a moutain dew and had shrimp fried rice, and then frerak out. Scared me half to death when I woke up. The wonderful Ladies on the BAF (Black American board) helped me to realize that I am may be just mourning the loss of food mentally. Then there is crazy Baby Phat that says I am just crazy, well she is partially right...lol. Anywho, I gotta get on my gazelle, talk to you soon!
1/21/06
HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!! Well, I can't believe it. A month has just flown by and I am down 30.5lbs. I still can't believe that I made it this far so quickly. I have to say I think exercise played a big part in my current weight loss. So this month I am going to continue the trend of exercise and protein protein and more protein. I want to reach the goal of 60-80lbs in the first three months set by my Dr. I want the higher part of the goal I want to hit 80, but I will be content with 70. Anywho, I took a couple of pictures today so I will have to post them when I get home, I am in between classes now. Anyway upward and onward to my new goal. My first mini goal for the next two weeks is 15lbs, but I would happy with 10lbs. So anywho, we shall see. Much Love.
1/25/06
Well, let me first start off by saying I am very sleepy today. I don't know whats up with that. Plus I feel extra sluggish with NO motivation at all do anything but sleep. I think I can attribute this to one thing, MY CYCLE! This is my first full cycle since surgery and OMG its kickin' my behind. I have a headache and childrens tylenol is sure NOT hittin' it. I want some drugs! Its days like this I miss Aleve. I cannot wait to get off work I am so ready to take my butt to bed. I am so beat I think I am going to take a break from everything tonight. When I walk in the door tonight I am going to make sure I eat and then I am done. Anywho, still exercising and eating my protein. Hell, the way I feel I may make a protein shake and go to bed that is just how sluggish I feel right now. Anyway, talk to you soon.
1/30/06
Ok, I was bad today I decided to get on a scale. I don't know why I did that, well I am only down another 5lbs. I know thats not a bad thing, but I really was hoping for more. Anywho, either way that brings my total to 36lbs in 5 weeks, so I know that I really shouldn't complain. I just want to drop at least 5 more before I go see Dr Overcash. I know I can do it, I just have to watch my calories and keep up my exercise. Anywho, just saying what up. I'll Holla.
Happy New Year!!! I can't believe it. Well, I am still getting my protein. I am embarrased to admit it I was constipated today, but I am much better today. I have excersized everyday this week and my thighs are sore like WHOAA!! I am keeping up my water and making sure I get at least 40-60 grams of protein a day. I even bought an unflavored powder protein and I put in my yogart and stuff like that. If I have broke 500 calories in a day, it would be an absolute miracle. I swear though I am ready to have some soft mushy food. I am tired of just protein shakes, I want to incorporate something else. Well, I see Dr. Overcash on Tuesday to have my staples out and this will be the first time I have been weighed since surgery. I have avoided the scales like the plague. I am afraid of becoming a scale ho. So I am excited to see what the verdict is on my two week weight loss. Hopefully, he will let me move on to the next stage. Well, until Tuesday, in the words of "Regine" of Living Single, smooches.
1/3/06
Today I went to see Dr Overcash, when I got on the scale I was nervous, but I wanted to know. Well I have lost a total of 19lbs since my surgery date!!!! Tomorrow makes exactly two weeks for me and I am down 19lbs! I am sooooo happy. Last night I tried on an outfit in my closet that pre surgery was tight, now it fits perfectly! Thank you Lord! I feel sooo good! I just had to share! I am about to go walking! I cannot believe in 13 days I lost 19lbs!! WOOOHOOOO! I must say this 19lbs include 3lbs that I had lost on surgery day, how I don't know, but either way I am just glad that I have lost some weight! I am l looking forward to great things!!!! YAAAAHHHH!!!!
1/7/06
Well, just to recap the last few days, I am still exercising everyday. I am noticing a difference in my clothes and it makes me feel so good. My favorite jeans no longer feel like they are cutting off my circulation. I wore some heels for the first time since surgery yesterday and my feet felt SO much better walking in them. It was wonderful. The only down fall this week is I threw up Thursday night, but it was my own fault, I ate to fast. Lesson learned because I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL THAT EVER AGAIN! I went to see my PCP this week and she and her staff were so happy for me. Because of all the drama Dr. Jawad's staff put me and them through, I wrote them a thank you card and brought them a cake, without them, I wouldn't be enjoying my post op success. They were just as excited for me as I am, so it felt really good to have the support of my PCP. Anywho, I am in between classes, started back yesterday, so I just wanted to say whats on my mind. Talk to you later.
1/16/06
Well, today I started back to work. It was so cool to hear the compliments, wow you look thinner already! Many people wanted to know how did it feel, how do I eat. Inquiring minds definately wanted to know the deal. And I have no problem expressing myself about it. My surgery is nothing that I am ashamed of. I am proud of my 3.5 inch scare. Its a symbol of my new life. I made sure I had my vitamins today, water and protein shakes. My doctor wants me to start on regular food so I have been intergrating soft solids. I can't believe Saturday is my month. I was going to get on a scale, but I decided that I was going to wait until 2/7 when I go back to the doctor. The weight will come off in due time, so I am not going to stress about. I am still exercising on the regular and I can definately see how it has helped in this process. I am so happy God gave me this gift of a new life. Anywho, talk to you soon.
1/18/06
Well one of my co-workers convinced me to get on a scale today. I have to say I was nervous I would be disappointed. She was going to keep it as a surprise until Saturday at my one month anniversary, but the wait was killing me. I am proud to say I am now down a total of 30.5lbs since 12/21/05! I am so happy!!! I was about to cry. God, this feels so very good! I don't even know what to do or say! I swear, when I left Dr O's office on the third, I said to myself I just wanted to lose 11lbs to hit 30 and God was so good he let me hit it and then a little more. This has put me in even greater spirits. It feels so and I do mean so good to have accomplished my first mini goal of 30lbs in my first month. My second mini goal is 30lbs in the second month as well. God willing I will make it.
Anywho, on a strange note I had a dream last night that I drank a moutain dew and had shrimp fried rice, and then frerak out. Scared me half to death when I woke up. The wonderful Ladies on the BAF (Black American board) helped me to realize that I am may be just mourning the loss of food mentally. Then there is crazy Baby Phat that says I am just crazy, well she is partially right...lol. Anywho, I gotta get on my gazelle, talk to you soon!
1/21/06
HAPPY ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!! Well, I can't believe it. A month has just flown by and I am down 30.5lbs. I still can't believe that I made it this far so quickly. I have to say I think exercise played a big part in my current weight loss. So this month I am going to continue the trend of exercise and protein protein and more protein. I want to reach the goal of 60-80lbs in the first three months set by my Dr. I want the higher part of the goal I want to hit 80, but I will be content with 70. Anywho, I took a couple of pictures today so I will have to post them when I get home, I am in between classes now. Anyway upward and onward to my new goal. My first mini goal for the next two weeks is 15lbs, but I would happy with 10lbs. So anywho, we shall see. Much Love.
1/25/06
Well, let me first start off by saying I am very sleepy today. I don't know whats up with that. Plus I feel extra sluggish with NO motivation at all do anything but sleep. I think I can attribute this to one thing, MY CYCLE! This is my first full cycle since surgery and OMG its kickin' my behind. I have a headache and childrens tylenol is sure NOT hittin' it. I want some drugs! Its days like this I miss Aleve. I cannot wait to get off work I am so ready to take my butt to bed. I am so beat I think I am going to take a break from everything tonight. When I walk in the door tonight I am going to make sure I eat and then I am done. Anywho, still exercising and eating my protein. Hell, the way I feel I may make a protein shake and go to bed that is just how sluggish I feel right now. Anyway, talk to you soon.
1/30/06
Ok, I was bad today I decided to get on a scale. I don't know why I did that, well I am only down another 5lbs. I know thats not a bad thing, but I really was hoping for more. Anywho, either way that brings my total to 36lbs in 5 weeks, so I know that I really shouldn't complain. I just want to drop at least 5 more before I go see Dr Overcash. I know I can do it, I just have to watch my calories and keep up my exercise. Anywho, just saying what up. I'll Holla.
December 2005 Entries - The Big Day is Almost Here!
Nov 30, 2005
12/1/05
Well, Patrice, she is a doll by the way, called from Dr. O's office, we are just now waiting for the medical reviewer to sign off on the change, which they told her we should have by tomorrow! She states as soon as she gets the news she will give me a call. God, its crazy, tomorrow I may have my date. I am so so so excited. The anticipation is killing me, but I am SO ready to start this new chapter of my life. I am ready to drop these 162lbs to get to 175. I know the "ideal" weight for my height is 160, but even Dr. O couldn't see that on me so I am very happy with 175-180. Well as soon as I have a date for my surgery which hopefully should be VERY soon, I will holla back.
12/05/2005
I GOT MY DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Decemeber 21, 2005 will begin a new chapter in my life!!! I am so excited. After all the trials and tribulations to get here I am here I am so so so happy. Today I am going to send out the notification letter to my family & friends. There are just so many of them. And I don't want to call them all individually. For your reading enjoyment, here is the letter below.
Dear Family & Friends:
I am writing this letter to you because I have made a very important decision in my life that I feel I should share. Whether you have known me for a year or 10 years, you already know that I have struggled with my weight all of my life. I have never been a slim person, as obesity runs on both sides of my family. I have been blessed thus far not to have any illnesses and/or diseases that are related to my weight issue. In order to prevent the possibility of diabetes or any other such illness, I am now taking a proactive approach to the problem.
On 11/23/2005 Aetna PPO approved me to have the gastric bypass surgery. I know many of you are asking, �WHY?� This is a question that I pondered with deeply after the initial consultation on September 27, 2005. I prayed, cried, and cried some more before finally coming to the decision that I needed to seriously consider weight loss surgery as an option for me while I am young. I have thoroughly researched the procedure and the pros and cons. I am aware of the major complications that come along with having this procedure like death. I am not trying to scare you, but I want you all to understand the severity of this procedure and why I am asking for your support as I take on this journey in my life.
Dr. William Overcash of the Surgical Associates of Marion County will be performing my surgery. Dr. Overcash comes highly recommended to me and you can check out his practice at www.floridabariatriccenter.org their phone number is (352) 368-2828. Dr. Overcash graduated from UNC Chapel Hill Medical School in 1988. He completed his residency at Carolina's Medical Center - Charlotte North Carolina in 1993. He has been practicing Bariatric surgery for over 12 years and is one the top doctors in this field.
My surgery will take place on December 21, 2005 at Munroe Regional Medical Center, 1500 S.W. 1st Avenue, Ocala FL (352) 351-7200. I ask that you please keep me in your prayers and please know that I have made the best decision for me. While I know that many of you may not agree with my decision, I ask that you please know that I know that I have made the right decision and I have left it in God�s hands.
Much Love, Peace and Happiness,
Ebony
At this point, my family and friends will just have to understand. There is no changing my mind now.
Well I have already started to get responses back. Most have said to me, I wish you the best if you are sure this is what you want to do, blah blah. I have gotten some that have given me 100% support. Mixed reactions, but hey, its all good. At least they can't say that they didn't know.
12/08/05
Yesterday I went to my first support group meeting. I am so glad I went last night, even in the midst of crazy finals week, I am glad I took time out my schedule to hear first hands from people who have already walked the road that I am about to go down. I can't believe it 13 days from now I will be starting a new life. Its scary, but I am so excited all at the same time!
12/12/05
8 Days Until My Surgery!!!
I can't believe it! Time is winding down. Last night I bought my Equate Children Vitamins plus Iron, Calcium Citrate, Biotin, B-12, and some protein drinks. Tonight I am going to hit up the water and the pudding pops and jello. I also bought the mederma for the scar. I am getting nervous, but I am so ready to start my new life.
I decided to tell my big brother today, I have been really nervous about it, so I sent him a seperate letter with my own personal comments for him. I hope he understands, I am doing the right thing for me, that's all I can do.
Things I want to accomplish after WLS
1. Walk up stairs without feeling like I am going to pass out
2. Cross my legs
3. Wear stiletto shoes
4. Shop at NY & Co, Express, Gap, Victoria�s Secret & Banana Republic
5. Finally rock a short haircut
6. Wear a skirt that is above my knees
7. Finally a own a �little black dress�
8. Enjoy sex better, stop being afraid to explore my sexuality
9. Go to my college homecoming in 2006 and shock the hell out of folks
10. Not being the biggest woman in the room
11. Stop hearing you�re pretty to be a �big girl�
12. Walking with my head up when I walk pass a nice looking man
13. Wear a belt without feeling uncomfortable
14. Take Salsa lessons
15. Discover other colors for my wardrobe besides, black, blue, and brown as base colors.
More to come as I think of them!
12/13/05
7 days and counting!! I can't believe it! It seems so far away, but so close all at the same time. I almost there! The wait is killing me! I am so ready to have my surgery and start the BEST part of my life. As time winds down I am reading over all the nutrional paperwork to make sure that I have all the things that I need post up. I know day 1-3 clear liquids day 4 to 4 weeks full liquids. After a month I will see if I am ready for the next level. The only other thing I need to get now is an iron supplement and I will have all the vitamins I need. Wow I cannot wait WOOHOO!!!
12/14/05
6 days to go! Oh this wait is making me nervous. I know its so close, but so far away. I can't help but wonder what I will be doing this time next wednesday? Wow, a week from today, damn I am so ready for this to be on and poppin! Well I have started my vitamin regimine, so I am so ready to go on that. God, I can't believe this, my prayer, my dream is about to be fulfilled.
"My Prayer"
God, I thank you for providing me with this gift. I prayed night and day for this to come true, a new me. And in your infinite wisdom you felt that this path is one that I can walk. I thank you and praise you from the bottom of my heart. I ask Lord that you guide Dr. Overcash and give him a sound mind and a steady hand as he provides me with the tool to help build a healthier, stronger me. I ask that you please bless my brother for taken time off work to go with me on this journey, and bless all of those whom have offered their help to me as I go through my recovery. Lord I ask that I have an uneventful surgery and a speedy, healthy recovery. Lord I also ask as I discover a new me externally, that you will help me heal the excessive internal hurts that have come over the years. I want to be able to appreciate the new me, both inside and out. In your name I pray. Amen.
12/15/2005
5 days to go! I know one thing, all these expenses are breaking my bank!! I know these are things that I NEED, so I just take it in stride. Well, I don't really have much to say, I just wanted to check in.
12/16/2005
4 days to go!!! Well, yesterday was something else, the hospital called me to pre-register, and then told me they needed a 500.00 deposit. Have these people lost their mind!! I was not aware of this and told her that. I mean dang I had to drop 300 to the Dr O, plus purchase items that I will need after the fact. These folks are on drugs for real! Anyway, today is my company's Christmas Luncheon, and tomorrow I have a Christmas Dinner to attend! Wow I am about to be busy! Anywho, talk to you later.
12/18/2005
2 days and counting!!! Well, last night I went to my last christmas party as a fat girl, but I still was rockin' it though!!!! Got mad compliments so I was very happy. As my time gets closer I am getting a little nervous, but God made this possible, so I have to believe this was God's will or it wouldn't have came together under the crazy circumstances it did! Anywho! I am getting ready for church. I want my soul to be at peace before I step into my new life. Have a great day!
12/20/05
OMG! Less than 24 hours before my surgery!!! I can't believe it! After a lot of nervousness, heartbreak, tears, and frustration its here! I would like to thank everyone who has been of encouragement to me as I struggled this battle to WLS! The next time you will here from me it will be from the losing side! Much Love Talk to you later.
****POST OP!!!
12/24/05
Well, after all the months of drama, blood, sweat and tears I am here! My surgery went flawlessly on Wednesday, December 21, 2005. On the way to the hospital, my brother was keeping me laughing! I needed that, and I think that is a big reason why I am feel as good as I do now. Joe kept me laughing, the way only Joe can�lol. I remember meeting my pre op nurse and when they prepared me for surgery. You know what�s funny as the rolled me to the operation room I wasn�t scared, no nervousness, nothing, but by then I was already sedated. I remember seeing Dr. Overcash, I said hey! And then said hey to Vic the anesthesiologist. I remember the surgical nurse saying, have sweet dreams and the next thing I remember is that I was in my private room with a tube in my nose! Oh God that was awful! I was so happy when that tube came out! I swear I must have been the most popular patient on the 6th floor. I had so many calls it was crazy! I got lots of well wishes, even from those I didn�t want to hear from. For example, good ole� Eddie my ex, decided to make it known that he cared. He called me the day after surgery on that bullshit oh I love you, I miss you, blah blah blah, I�m like Eddie stop, this is not the time to have this conversation. He is like I just want to show you that I care. What the fuck ever, get a clue dude! It�s so not that serious I do not want you.
So Thursday I was feeling better, I was walking around going to the bathroom by myself, I felt good. I tell you having the pain meds at bed side was a wonderful thing. I hated bothering the nurses to unplug me so I can go the bathroom, it got to the point I just did it myself. I can�t help it, I have lived alone for so long I am used to just doing me. Thursday night I decided to watch TV, woke up a few times in the night you know, but it was all good.
Friday was cool! Dr Overcash came in told me I was doing ok, did tell me I was running a slight fever so he asked that I keep monitoring it and call him if it goes above 102. So then I was taken down to x-ray. They had me drink this NASTY solution to make sure there were no leaks. What scared me they are like gulp it down! In my mind I am like, huh? I did and everything looked good. So I just had to wait for big bro to come and get me and then I was out. On the way home, my brother had me laughing so hard I thought I was going to bust a staple!
Well, here we are Saturday, December 24, 2005. Christmas Eve! I feel great. I am a little sore near the incision, but I have walked up and down the stairs to my apartment twice (I live on the third floor) I have been bumping my gums on the phone all day with people. I get the same response from everyone; they are like wow, you don�t sound like you just had major surgery. I am like I feel great, just a little soreness, but I feel really good! I thought it was funny when I was eating a sugar-free popsicle I had to stop half way because I felt so full. I did get in a whole 11oz protein shake, 4 oz of yogurt, 1 single popsicle, 5 sips of beef broth, and 24 oz of water. Wow, that doesn�t sound like a lot to most, but I had a hell of time eating it all!! Either way, now that I am walking the losing side I am feeling great! The only downfall is my period came on again! Twice in one month, ain�t that a Bitch! Anywho! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
12/28/05
Today I am one week post op! Wow, who would believe this time last Wednesday I was recovering from surgery! Well, let me say I think my recovery is going great! I am drinking my protein and my water. I am trying to do everything to the tee, I want to work this tool to my advantage! I have been using my gazelle too! I should not do be doing this so soon, I am being hard headed. I am not doing it full speed though. I can't help it I have so much energy I don't know what to do with myself. I refuse to get on a scale until I go to the Dr to have my staples out. I do not want to become a scale ho! I think I may be crazy but I look at myself and it seems I am shrinking. It just seems too soon to notice a difference. I was reading a profile of a lady that had her surgery the day before mine and she has already dropped 12lbs, so I guess anything is possible. I am really feeling good about myself for the first time in a long time and its already starting to show externally. I guy that I think just wants to hit it came by today to make sure I was doing ok, he said I just sound happier. I feel happier. He wouldn't even let me take my trash out or check my own mail, good grief! I am not helpless, but it was kinda nice I guess. Anywho. I hope on January 3rd I will have some good news to share about my current loss. What's funny is I found out an old friend of my had the bypass in September and we used the same surgeon! What are the odds! Anywho, if I am not back before New Years, wishing all of you a Happy, Prosperous and Weight Loss filled year!
Well, Patrice, she is a doll by the way, called from Dr. O's office, we are just now waiting for the medical reviewer to sign off on the change, which they told her we should have by tomorrow! She states as soon as she gets the news she will give me a call. God, its crazy, tomorrow I may have my date. I am so so so excited. The anticipation is killing me, but I am SO ready to start this new chapter of my life. I am ready to drop these 162lbs to get to 175. I know the "ideal" weight for my height is 160, but even Dr. O couldn't see that on me so I am very happy with 175-180. Well as soon as I have a date for my surgery which hopefully should be VERY soon, I will holla back.
12/05/2005
I GOT MY DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Decemeber 21, 2005 will begin a new chapter in my life!!! I am so excited. After all the trials and tribulations to get here I am here I am so so so happy. Today I am going to send out the notification letter to my family & friends. There are just so many of them. And I don't want to call them all individually. For your reading enjoyment, here is the letter below.
Dear Family & Friends:
I am writing this letter to you because I have made a very important decision in my life that I feel I should share. Whether you have known me for a year or 10 years, you already know that I have struggled with my weight all of my life. I have never been a slim person, as obesity runs on both sides of my family. I have been blessed thus far not to have any illnesses and/or diseases that are related to my weight issue. In order to prevent the possibility of diabetes or any other such illness, I am now taking a proactive approach to the problem.
On 11/23/2005 Aetna PPO approved me to have the gastric bypass surgery. I know many of you are asking, �WHY?� This is a question that I pondered with deeply after the initial consultation on September 27, 2005. I prayed, cried, and cried some more before finally coming to the decision that I needed to seriously consider weight loss surgery as an option for me while I am young. I have thoroughly researched the procedure and the pros and cons. I am aware of the major complications that come along with having this procedure like death. I am not trying to scare you, but I want you all to understand the severity of this procedure and why I am asking for your support as I take on this journey in my life.
Dr. William Overcash of the Surgical Associates of Marion County will be performing my surgery. Dr. Overcash comes highly recommended to me and you can check out his practice at www.floridabariatriccenter.org their phone number is (352) 368-2828. Dr. Overcash graduated from UNC Chapel Hill Medical School in 1988. He completed his residency at Carolina's Medical Center - Charlotte North Carolina in 1993. He has been practicing Bariatric surgery for over 12 years and is one the top doctors in this field.
My surgery will take place on December 21, 2005 at Munroe Regional Medical Center, 1500 S.W. 1st Avenue, Ocala FL (352) 351-7200. I ask that you please keep me in your prayers and please know that I have made the best decision for me. While I know that many of you may not agree with my decision, I ask that you please know that I know that I have made the right decision and I have left it in God�s hands.
Much Love, Peace and Happiness,
Ebony
At this point, my family and friends will just have to understand. There is no changing my mind now.
Well I have already started to get responses back. Most have said to me, I wish you the best if you are sure this is what you want to do, blah blah. I have gotten some that have given me 100% support. Mixed reactions, but hey, its all good. At least they can't say that they didn't know.
12/08/05
Yesterday I went to my first support group meeting. I am so glad I went last night, even in the midst of crazy finals week, I am glad I took time out my schedule to hear first hands from people who have already walked the road that I am about to go down. I can't believe it 13 days from now I will be starting a new life. Its scary, but I am so excited all at the same time!
12/12/05
8 Days Until My Surgery!!!
I can't believe it! Time is winding down. Last night I bought my Equate Children Vitamins plus Iron, Calcium Citrate, Biotin, B-12, and some protein drinks. Tonight I am going to hit up the water and the pudding pops and jello. I also bought the mederma for the scar. I am getting nervous, but I am so ready to start my new life.
I decided to tell my big brother today, I have been really nervous about it, so I sent him a seperate letter with my own personal comments for him. I hope he understands, I am doing the right thing for me, that's all I can do.
Things I want to accomplish after WLS
1. Walk up stairs without feeling like I am going to pass out
2. Cross my legs
3. Wear stiletto shoes
4. Shop at NY & Co, Express, Gap, Victoria�s Secret & Banana Republic
5. Finally rock a short haircut
6. Wear a skirt that is above my knees
7. Finally a own a �little black dress�
8. Enjoy sex better, stop being afraid to explore my sexuality
9. Go to my college homecoming in 2006 and shock the hell out of folks
10. Not being the biggest woman in the room
11. Stop hearing you�re pretty to be a �big girl�
12. Walking with my head up when I walk pass a nice looking man
13. Wear a belt without feeling uncomfortable
14. Take Salsa lessons
15. Discover other colors for my wardrobe besides, black, blue, and brown as base colors.
More to come as I think of them!
12/13/05
7 days and counting!! I can't believe it! It seems so far away, but so close all at the same time. I almost there! The wait is killing me! I am so ready to have my surgery and start the BEST part of my life. As time winds down I am reading over all the nutrional paperwork to make sure that I have all the things that I need post up. I know day 1-3 clear liquids day 4 to 4 weeks full liquids. After a month I will see if I am ready for the next level. The only other thing I need to get now is an iron supplement and I will have all the vitamins I need. Wow I cannot wait WOOHOO!!!
12/14/05
6 days to go! Oh this wait is making me nervous. I know its so close, but so far away. I can't help but wonder what I will be doing this time next wednesday? Wow, a week from today, damn I am so ready for this to be on and poppin! Well I have started my vitamin regimine, so I am so ready to go on that. God, I can't believe this, my prayer, my dream is about to be fulfilled.
"My Prayer"
God, I thank you for providing me with this gift. I prayed night and day for this to come true, a new me. And in your infinite wisdom you felt that this path is one that I can walk. I thank you and praise you from the bottom of my heart. I ask Lord that you guide Dr. Overcash and give him a sound mind and a steady hand as he provides me with the tool to help build a healthier, stronger me. I ask that you please bless my brother for taken time off work to go with me on this journey, and bless all of those whom have offered their help to me as I go through my recovery. Lord I ask that I have an uneventful surgery and a speedy, healthy recovery. Lord I also ask as I discover a new me externally, that you will help me heal the excessive internal hurts that have come over the years. I want to be able to appreciate the new me, both inside and out. In your name I pray. Amen.
12/15/2005
5 days to go! I know one thing, all these expenses are breaking my bank!! I know these are things that I NEED, so I just take it in stride. Well, I don't really have much to say, I just wanted to check in.
12/16/2005
4 days to go!!! Well, yesterday was something else, the hospital called me to pre-register, and then told me they needed a 500.00 deposit. Have these people lost their mind!! I was not aware of this and told her that. I mean dang I had to drop 300 to the Dr O, plus purchase items that I will need after the fact. These folks are on drugs for real! Anyway, today is my company's Christmas Luncheon, and tomorrow I have a Christmas Dinner to attend! Wow I am about to be busy! Anywho, talk to you later.
12/18/2005
2 days and counting!!! Well, last night I went to my last christmas party as a fat girl, but I still was rockin' it though!!!! Got mad compliments so I was very happy. As my time gets closer I am getting a little nervous, but God made this possible, so I have to believe this was God's will or it wouldn't have came together under the crazy circumstances it did! Anywho! I am getting ready for church. I want my soul to be at peace before I step into my new life. Have a great day!
12/20/05
OMG! Less than 24 hours before my surgery!!! I can't believe it! After a lot of nervousness, heartbreak, tears, and frustration its here! I would like to thank everyone who has been of encouragement to me as I struggled this battle to WLS! The next time you will here from me it will be from the losing side! Much Love Talk to you later.
****POST OP!!!
12/24/05
Well, after all the months of drama, blood, sweat and tears I am here! My surgery went flawlessly on Wednesday, December 21, 2005. On the way to the hospital, my brother was keeping me laughing! I needed that, and I think that is a big reason why I am feel as good as I do now. Joe kept me laughing, the way only Joe can�lol. I remember meeting my pre op nurse and when they prepared me for surgery. You know what�s funny as the rolled me to the operation room I wasn�t scared, no nervousness, nothing, but by then I was already sedated. I remember seeing Dr. Overcash, I said hey! And then said hey to Vic the anesthesiologist. I remember the surgical nurse saying, have sweet dreams and the next thing I remember is that I was in my private room with a tube in my nose! Oh God that was awful! I was so happy when that tube came out! I swear I must have been the most popular patient on the 6th floor. I had so many calls it was crazy! I got lots of well wishes, even from those I didn�t want to hear from. For example, good ole� Eddie my ex, decided to make it known that he cared. He called me the day after surgery on that bullshit oh I love you, I miss you, blah blah blah, I�m like Eddie stop, this is not the time to have this conversation. He is like I just want to show you that I care. What the fuck ever, get a clue dude! It�s so not that serious I do not want you.
So Thursday I was feeling better, I was walking around going to the bathroom by myself, I felt good. I tell you having the pain meds at bed side was a wonderful thing. I hated bothering the nurses to unplug me so I can go the bathroom, it got to the point I just did it myself. I can�t help it, I have lived alone for so long I am used to just doing me. Thursday night I decided to watch TV, woke up a few times in the night you know, but it was all good.
Friday was cool! Dr Overcash came in told me I was doing ok, did tell me I was running a slight fever so he asked that I keep monitoring it and call him if it goes above 102. So then I was taken down to x-ray. They had me drink this NASTY solution to make sure there were no leaks. What scared me they are like gulp it down! In my mind I am like, huh? I did and everything looked good. So I just had to wait for big bro to come and get me and then I was out. On the way home, my brother had me laughing so hard I thought I was going to bust a staple!
Well, here we are Saturday, December 24, 2005. Christmas Eve! I feel great. I am a little sore near the incision, but I have walked up and down the stairs to my apartment twice (I live on the third floor) I have been bumping my gums on the phone all day with people. I get the same response from everyone; they are like wow, you don�t sound like you just had major surgery. I am like I feel great, just a little soreness, but I feel really good! I thought it was funny when I was eating a sugar-free popsicle I had to stop half way because I felt so full. I did get in a whole 11oz protein shake, 4 oz of yogurt, 1 single popsicle, 5 sips of beef broth, and 24 oz of water. Wow, that doesn�t sound like a lot to most, but I had a hell of time eating it all!! Either way, now that I am walking the losing side I am feeling great! The only downfall is my period came on again! Twice in one month, ain�t that a Bitch! Anywho! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
12/28/05
Today I am one week post op! Wow, who would believe this time last Wednesday I was recovering from surgery! Well, let me say I think my recovery is going great! I am drinking my protein and my water. I am trying to do everything to the tee, I want to work this tool to my advantage! I have been using my gazelle too! I should not do be doing this so soon, I am being hard headed. I am not doing it full speed though. I can't help it I have so much energy I don't know what to do with myself. I refuse to get on a scale until I go to the Dr to have my staples out. I do not want to become a scale ho! I think I may be crazy but I look at myself and it seems I am shrinking. It just seems too soon to notice a difference. I was reading a profile of a lady that had her surgery the day before mine and she has already dropped 12lbs, so I guess anything is possible. I am really feeling good about myself for the first time in a long time and its already starting to show externally. I guy that I think just wants to hit it came by today to make sure I was doing ok, he said I just sound happier. I feel happier. He wouldn't even let me take my trash out or check my own mail, good grief! I am not helpless, but it was kinda nice I guess. Anywho. I hope on January 3rd I will have some good news to share about my current loss. What's funny is I found out an old friend of my had the bypass in September and we used the same surgeon! What are the odds! Anywho, if I am not back before New Years, wishing all of you a Happy, Prosperous and Weight Loss filled year!
November 2005 Entries - The Journey Begins
Oct 31, 2005
11/02/05
Well, my paper work was submitted to Aetna on 10/28/05, and I have called them everyday since. I know I am impatient, but I am on a deadline as my company is dropping bariatric coverage after this year. Yesterday I called and emailed, today I did the same thing. I am so ready to get through my surgery and start the next step of my life. I will saying a special prayer tonight that Aetna will make a decision (a positive one) by the end of the week. Will keep you posted. I must say reading all of the different success stories of Dr. Jawads patients has made me even more confident in his work. One of his patients works with me she had the lapband and her weight is coming off steadily. I decided to have the RNY, something about a foriegn object in me doesn't sit well. Well, I know Aetna will get sick of me, but I am going to call them everyday and email them everday until they respond.
11/03/05
I called Aetna this morning and they responded to my email from yesterday telling me that I need to allow additional time for them to process my benefits...That's funny I don't have time. Anyway tomorrow will make exactly one week they have had my paperwork, ooohhhh this is killing me. I decided that I am going to start the pre-op diet now. I bought a home exercise machine and I am going to start working that into my crazy schedule. My coworker Dave is going to come by this evening and put it together for me. Anyway, I guess I will be harrassing Aetna again tomorrow! Wish me luck!
11/8/05
Still no word from Aetna. I actually called them twice today. Oh this wait is making me absolutely nuts. I have been exercising and eating better, I won't say right, but better. Oh god I wish Aetna would make their decision. Anywho, hopefully will have some good news soon, hell at this point I will take any news!
11/21/05
And still nothing. After speaking with supervisors at Aetna they wanted more WL documentation, well, my PCP for some reason doesn't want to get off their asses to fax the information that we need. I called Dr. J's office this morning, because I just don't know what the hell else to do. They called me back after they talk to the PCP's office, they claim they are going to fax it, but they have been claiming that since last week and here we are and I still don't have the info that I need to send to Aetna so they can make a decision. I am on a SERIOUS timeline. I must have my surgery BEFORE 12/31/05. After that I no longer have coverage. I swear this is killing me, I really, really, want to have this done. I know I have to be calm, but I am racing to beat the clock, I need to have all my stuff on point.
11/23/05
Well Aetna denied me yesterday because they are saying I never had a phys eval, which is bullshit, because those ho's at Aetna won't even pay for it. And they are saying they have no progress notes, which is again BS. I don't know who is slipping, the surgeon or Aetna. I more believe its Aetna, because they know that my company is dropping bariatric coverage and they are just trying to hold out as long as they can. I am so depressed right now. All I did was cry yesterday. So since the insurance lady at Dr J's office is on vacation they want me to wait until Monday when she returns. So I called Aetna and spoke to the case nurse, she told what I was missing and gave me her fax number, so I called my PCP AGAIN and asked them to send ALL my progress notes to Kim at Aetna and called the phys office and asked them to send it to Aetna, I just don't know what to do with myself right now, I am so so so so hurt. If I don't get approved I don't know what I will do.
11/23/05 (Part 2)
Well Dr. J won't due my surgery, which is funny to me because now Aetna has approved my surgery. I DO NOT RECOMMEND HIM OR HIS STAFF. They are rude and some are pure racist! What else do you expect in Ocala, Fl. They are mad b/c I put their lackluster behavior on blast and called them out about how rude they were treating me and a certain patient of there's felt to run like a high school bitchy girl and cry about it. WTF EVER. So now I have to find someone within 35 days that will do my surgery. Ain't this a bitch.
11/28/05
I found a surgeon, thank the lord. I meet with Dr. Overcash and his staff tomorrow. I am so excited. After all that I have been through I know now, this is meant to be, I got approval and I found a surgeon that will take me. I will keep you updated with any new news.
11/29/05
Today I went to Ocala to meet with Dr. O's office. And I must say that I am glad that I had to switch surgeon's. I had a much better reception from the office staff than I did with the old surgeon's staff which means a lot to me after what I went through with them. Patrice is wonderful. She lets you know step by step what you need to do and what she is going to do next. Dr O's is straight to the point and I like that. I was relieved to meet him today and not the morning of the surgery. I definately feel VERY comfortable and secure with Dr. Overcash and his staff. He set my WL goal at 175-180, I can live with that for my height of 5'9. Well, all I am waiting for is the date now. WOOHOOO!!!
Well, my paper work was submitted to Aetna on 10/28/05, and I have called them everyday since. I know I am impatient, but I am on a deadline as my company is dropping bariatric coverage after this year. Yesterday I called and emailed, today I did the same thing. I am so ready to get through my surgery and start the next step of my life. I will saying a special prayer tonight that Aetna will make a decision (a positive one) by the end of the week. Will keep you posted. I must say reading all of the different success stories of Dr. Jawads patients has made me even more confident in his work. One of his patients works with me she had the lapband and her weight is coming off steadily. I decided to have the RNY, something about a foriegn object in me doesn't sit well. Well, I know Aetna will get sick of me, but I am going to call them everyday and email them everday until they respond.
11/03/05
I called Aetna this morning and they responded to my email from yesterday telling me that I need to allow additional time for them to process my benefits...That's funny I don't have time. Anyway tomorrow will make exactly one week they have had my paperwork, ooohhhh this is killing me. I decided that I am going to start the pre-op diet now. I bought a home exercise machine and I am going to start working that into my crazy schedule. My coworker Dave is going to come by this evening and put it together for me. Anyway, I guess I will be harrassing Aetna again tomorrow! Wish me luck!
11/8/05
Still no word from Aetna. I actually called them twice today. Oh this wait is making me absolutely nuts. I have been exercising and eating better, I won't say right, but better. Oh god I wish Aetna would make their decision. Anywho, hopefully will have some good news soon, hell at this point I will take any news!
11/21/05
And still nothing. After speaking with supervisors at Aetna they wanted more WL documentation, well, my PCP for some reason doesn't want to get off their asses to fax the information that we need. I called Dr. J's office this morning, because I just don't know what the hell else to do. They called me back after they talk to the PCP's office, they claim they are going to fax it, but they have been claiming that since last week and here we are and I still don't have the info that I need to send to Aetna so they can make a decision. I am on a SERIOUS timeline. I must have my surgery BEFORE 12/31/05. After that I no longer have coverage. I swear this is killing me, I really, really, want to have this done. I know I have to be calm, but I am racing to beat the clock, I need to have all my stuff on point.
11/23/05
Well Aetna denied me yesterday because they are saying I never had a phys eval, which is bullshit, because those ho's at Aetna won't even pay for it. And they are saying they have no progress notes, which is again BS. I don't know who is slipping, the surgeon or Aetna. I more believe its Aetna, because they know that my company is dropping bariatric coverage and they are just trying to hold out as long as they can. I am so depressed right now. All I did was cry yesterday. So since the insurance lady at Dr J's office is on vacation they want me to wait until Monday when she returns. So I called Aetna and spoke to the case nurse, she told what I was missing and gave me her fax number, so I called my PCP AGAIN and asked them to send ALL my progress notes to Kim at Aetna and called the phys office and asked them to send it to Aetna, I just don't know what to do with myself right now, I am so so so so hurt. If I don't get approved I don't know what I will do.
11/23/05 (Part 2)
Well Dr. J won't due my surgery, which is funny to me because now Aetna has approved my surgery. I DO NOT RECOMMEND HIM OR HIS STAFF. They are rude and some are pure racist! What else do you expect in Ocala, Fl. They are mad b/c I put their lackluster behavior on blast and called them out about how rude they were treating me and a certain patient of there's felt to run like a high school bitchy girl and cry about it. WTF EVER. So now I have to find someone within 35 days that will do my surgery. Ain't this a bitch.
11/28/05
I found a surgeon, thank the lord. I meet with Dr. Overcash and his staff tomorrow. I am so excited. After all that I have been through I know now, this is meant to be, I got approval and I found a surgeon that will take me. I will keep you updated with any new news.
11/29/05
Today I went to Ocala to meet with Dr. O's office. And I must say that I am glad that I had to switch surgeon's. I had a much better reception from the office staff than I did with the old surgeon's staff which means a lot to me after what I went through with them. Patrice is wonderful. She lets you know step by step what you need to do and what she is going to do next. Dr O's is straight to the point and I like that. I was relieved to meet him today and not the morning of the surgery. I definately feel VERY comfortable and secure with Dr. Overcash and his staff. He set my WL goal at 175-180, I can live with that for my height of 5'9. Well, all I am waiting for is the date now. WOOHOOO!!!
About Me
Chicago, IL
Location
35.4
BMI
Surgery
12/21/2005
Surgery Date
Oct 31, 2005
Member Since
