Chocolate Angel
November/December 2006 Entries
Nov 30, 2006
11/8/06
Wow, I haven't updated in a minute!! Lets see I have celebrated my 10 month anniversary and also my 25th birthday!!! Let me tell you. I had a ball for my birthday. Lets see for my birthday/anniversary 10/21 I went to NY. I had a GREAT time with Sassy Sista from BAF and my NYPD friend, his name is Sidney. I even met another guy when I was there named Will who worked at the Port Authority who happen to take me and Sassy Sista to dinner. See, Sidney thought I was coming on Friday, so our plans for Saturday were up in the air and I was pissed. So I while I was waiting for my hotel shuttle I met Will, he works for the Port Authority and he was mad cool. Very handsome. He was so sweet for taking me and my friend out for dinner, now he was gonna take me out later that night, but then Sidney was able to get his schedule worked out to spend Saturday night with me. Me and Sidney had a great time. I was so glad I took my butt to NY and enjoyed my birthday. Then the following weekend I went on my first cruise on the Carnival Imagination Ship. We went to the Grand Caymans and Ocho Rios Jamaica. OMG, I wore a bathing suit I can't believe it. I had so much fun. And I have never been hit on that much in my life it was crazy!!! Wow, its amazing what dropping weight will do for your self esteem and the way people view you. I wish that I saw myself the way others do, but I dunno. Anyway, things are going well. I see Dr. Overcash next month so I hope he is satisfied with my progress. Anywho, if you would like to see pictures from my trip, check out photos.yahoo.com/ebonydaley. Smooches
12/4/06
I know, I know, its been awhile, but I have at least updated my pic slide show...lol. A lot has been going. Still traveling, I went to Boston for Thanksgiving and I am going back to NY next weekend, I will get to that in a minute. I enjoyed meeting my family in Boston I had a great time. This was my first holiday post up, I ate a little bit of turkey and dressing, but I was content that I couldn't overload myself with stuff I have no business eating. Now, I have been desperatly looking to get out of my job to no avail. I hate my job, let me say this again, I hate my job, but until I can do better I say no matter. I also learned over the past month that I MUST stay on Lexapro, I had switched to Zoloft b/c my insurance wouldn't cover Lexapro, you want to talk about a downhill battle, I started drinking, attempted suicide again, it was something awful. I was sitting in my house in a drunken slumber and I was like you know what I didn't feel this when I was on Lexapro. I called the pharmacy and asked them to fill it. I didn't care if insurance didn't cover it, I didn't want to feel that way anymore, well, this time I only had to pay 25.00 instead of 90 bucks and within days I was back to normal. I haven't had a drink since the week before Thanksgiving. I am so happy that I was able to find this issue and rectify it. I am still seeing my therapist. As we all know I am a little off...lol!! Anywho, next weekend I will be in NYC. I am going to do some Christmas shopping and to see my friend NYPD aka Sidney. I can't wait to hug that big ole chocolate man...lol. Over Turkey Day, I had to come to the realization, I really care deeply about this man. I didn't mean for this to happen, but it did. I love looking into his eyes, so deep, so mysterious, you can't help but want to unlock all of his inner secrets. Ok enough about that. Anywho, my one year anniversary is right around the corner!! Can you believe it your girl is wearing a 12/14 and M tops!!!! I just want to be a 10/12 and I will be happy!!! Anywho, much love TTYL!
Wow, I haven't updated in a minute!! Lets see I have celebrated my 10 month anniversary and also my 25th birthday!!! Let me tell you. I had a ball for my birthday. Lets see for my birthday/anniversary 10/21 I went to NY. I had a GREAT time with Sassy Sista from BAF and my NYPD friend, his name is Sidney. I even met another guy when I was there named Will who worked at the Port Authority who happen to take me and Sassy Sista to dinner. See, Sidney thought I was coming on Friday, so our plans for Saturday were up in the air and I was pissed. So I while I was waiting for my hotel shuttle I met Will, he works for the Port Authority and he was mad cool. Very handsome. He was so sweet for taking me and my friend out for dinner, now he was gonna take me out later that night, but then Sidney was able to get his schedule worked out to spend Saturday night with me. Me and Sidney had a great time. I was so glad I took my butt to NY and enjoyed my birthday. Then the following weekend I went on my first cruise on the Carnival Imagination Ship. We went to the Grand Caymans and Ocho Rios Jamaica. OMG, I wore a bathing suit I can't believe it. I had so much fun. And I have never been hit on that much in my life it was crazy!!! Wow, its amazing what dropping weight will do for your self esteem and the way people view you. I wish that I saw myself the way others do, but I dunno. Anyway, things are going well. I see Dr. Overcash next month so I hope he is satisfied with my progress. Anywho, if you would like to see pictures from my trip, check out photos.yahoo.com/ebonydaley. Smooches
12/4/06
I know, I know, its been awhile, but I have at least updated my pic slide show...lol. A lot has been going. Still traveling, I went to Boston for Thanksgiving and I am going back to NY next weekend, I will get to that in a minute. I enjoyed meeting my family in Boston I had a great time. This was my first holiday post up, I ate a little bit of turkey and dressing, but I was content that I couldn't overload myself with stuff I have no business eating. Now, I have been desperatly looking to get out of my job to no avail. I hate my job, let me say this again, I hate my job, but until I can do better I say no matter. I also learned over the past month that I MUST stay on Lexapro, I had switched to Zoloft b/c my insurance wouldn't cover Lexapro, you want to talk about a downhill battle, I started drinking, attempted suicide again, it was something awful. I was sitting in my house in a drunken slumber and I was like you know what I didn't feel this when I was on Lexapro. I called the pharmacy and asked them to fill it. I didn't care if insurance didn't cover it, I didn't want to feel that way anymore, well, this time I only had to pay 25.00 instead of 90 bucks and within days I was back to normal. I haven't had a drink since the week before Thanksgiving. I am so happy that I was able to find this issue and rectify it. I am still seeing my therapist. As we all know I am a little off...lol!! Anywho, next weekend I will be in NYC. I am going to do some Christmas shopping and to see my friend NYPD aka Sidney. I can't wait to hug that big ole chocolate man...lol. Over Turkey Day, I had to come to the realization, I really care deeply about this man. I didn't mean for this to happen, but it did. I love looking into his eyes, so deep, so mysterious, you can't help but want to unlock all of his inner secrets. Ok enough about that. Anywho, my one year anniversary is right around the corner!! Can you believe it your girl is wearing a 12/14 and M tops!!!! I just want to be a 10/12 and I will be happy!!! Anywho, much love TTYL!
October 2006 Entries
Sep 30, 2006
10/2/06 - 19 days until my 25th birthday!!!
I am really excited about my birthday this year, one because I don't weigh over 300lbs like I did last year. I have energy and I am happy with myself unlike last year. I have let go people that shouldn't have been in my life in the first place and it feels absolutely wonderful. Two, I am going back to NY baby!! Anywho, I went to Maryland for the Walk From Obesity this weekend. I am SO exhausted, but I had such a wonderful time with the people from BAF!!! Only BAF could turn this walk into a party!!! I am so beat I am barely focused at work, like I want to...lol anywho just checking in with you.
10/06/06 - 15 days until my 25th birthday
WOW!!! Time is winding down!!! This week I have been sick. Caught a cold in MD, but I am almost over it. THANK GOD!!! I have had some wow moments I haven't posted. First I bought some applebottom jeans in a 13/14 I have never worn a 13/14 anything. I bought some pj's in a 12/14, again me in a 12/14, get out of here!! I had bought these capris from NY and CO for 9 bucks on clearance, they are jean non stretch 14 and they fit, THANK THE LAWDDD!! I am now a 38C, lawwdd they keep shrinking. I finally broke down and bought two push up bra's OMG!!! And the final wow was I went to Fredericks of Hollywood and bought some sexy undies...lol. Just because I can! And next stop is Victoria's Secret, got a free panty coupon yesterday and for the first time, I can wear them, they have my size!!!!! Anyway, my horrible job is demanding OT and it taking a toll on my body, anyway let me get back to work.
10/08/06
Today I decided to do an update on my post op personal goals.
1. Walk up stairs without feeling like I am going to pass out (done, I can run up the stairs)
2. Cross my legs (done)
3. Wear stiletto shoes (5 inch heels anyone!)
4. Shop at NY & Co, Express, Gap, Victoria's Secret & Banana Republic (Done for the most part, I did Fredericks of Hollywood)
5. Finally rock a short haircut (I am still rocking the braids)
6. Wear a skirt that is above my knees (Not there yet)
7. Finally a own a little black dress (I will be rocking this for my 25th bday)
8. Enjoy sex better, stop being afraid to explore my sexuality (It's been a minute, hope to test this out soon)
9. Go to my college homecoming in 2006 and shock the hell out of folks. (This weekend will be the test)
10. Not being the biggest woman in the room (So far so good)
11. Stop hearing you're pretty to be a "big girl" (If I hear how beautiful or sexy I am again I will puke)
12. Walking with my head up when I walk pass a nice looking man (Getting Better)
13. Wear a belt without feeling uncomfortable (Done)
14. Take Salsa lessons (Working on my rhythm first)
15. Discover other colors for my wardrobe besides, black, blue, and brown as base colors. (Still a work in progress, brown is the new black as far as I am concerned)
Just a little update on my goals, I am happy that I have made improvements on everything. I can't believe its been almost a year soon I am so excited! This is the best gift I could have ever given myself.
I am really excited about my birthday this year, one because I don't weigh over 300lbs like I did last year. I have energy and I am happy with myself unlike last year. I have let go people that shouldn't have been in my life in the first place and it feels absolutely wonderful. Two, I am going back to NY baby!! Anywho, I went to Maryland for the Walk From Obesity this weekend. I am SO exhausted, but I had such a wonderful time with the people from BAF!!! Only BAF could turn this walk into a party!!! I am so beat I am barely focused at work, like I want to...lol anywho just checking in with you.
10/06/06 - 15 days until my 25th birthday
WOW!!! Time is winding down!!! This week I have been sick. Caught a cold in MD, but I am almost over it. THANK GOD!!! I have had some wow moments I haven't posted. First I bought some applebottom jeans in a 13/14 I have never worn a 13/14 anything. I bought some pj's in a 12/14, again me in a 12/14, get out of here!! I had bought these capris from NY and CO for 9 bucks on clearance, they are jean non stretch 14 and they fit, THANK THE LAWDDD!! I am now a 38C, lawwdd they keep shrinking. I finally broke down and bought two push up bra's OMG!!! And the final wow was I went to Fredericks of Hollywood and bought some sexy undies...lol. Just because I can! And next stop is Victoria's Secret, got a free panty coupon yesterday and for the first time, I can wear them, they have my size!!!!! Anyway, my horrible job is demanding OT and it taking a toll on my body, anyway let me get back to work.
10/08/06
Today I decided to do an update on my post op personal goals.
1. Walk up stairs without feeling like I am going to pass out (done, I can run up the stairs)
2. Cross my legs (done)
3. Wear stiletto shoes (5 inch heels anyone!)
4. Shop at NY & Co, Express, Gap, Victoria's Secret & Banana Republic (Done for the most part, I did Fredericks of Hollywood)
5. Finally rock a short haircut (I am still rocking the braids)
6. Wear a skirt that is above my knees (Not there yet)
7. Finally a own a little black dress (I will be rocking this for my 25th bday)
8. Enjoy sex better, stop being afraid to explore my sexuality (It's been a minute, hope to test this out soon)
9. Go to my college homecoming in 2006 and shock the hell out of folks. (This weekend will be the test)
10. Not being the biggest woman in the room (So far so good)
11. Stop hearing you're pretty to be a "big girl" (If I hear how beautiful or sexy I am again I will puke)
12. Walking with my head up when I walk pass a nice looking man (Getting Better)
13. Wear a belt without feeling uncomfortable (Done)
14. Take Salsa lessons (Working on my rhythm first)
15. Discover other colors for my wardrobe besides, black, blue, and brown as base colors. (Still a work in progress, brown is the new black as far as I am concerned)
Just a little update on my goals, I am happy that I have made improvements on everything. I can't believe its been almost a year soon I am so excited! This is the best gift I could have ever given myself.
September 2006 Entries
Aug 31, 2006
9/4/06
Ladies and Gents I have manage to drop another five pounds!! WOOOHOOO!! Its funny, when I actually "eat" I seem to drop weight its crazy, may be I slow my weight loss down trying to deeply concentrate on the food that I am eating. I dunno, its weird. I still hit the gym 4-5 times a week, that is a habit that I don't think will change at this point. I like not being the biggest person in the room anymore. I still have self esteem issues, I won't lie, but you know what overall I am starting to feel better about Ebony. I still talk to my friend I met in NY, NYPD as he is so lovingly called, actually we talk to each other everyday on IM. We talk on the phone as well, but what I like about IM is if I have nothing really to say I can make it short and sweet. I still say damn, why did he have to live in NY and I live in FL. I still have no social life, but I am trying to work on that. I dunno, I'm still trying to make my life what I hope it to be, but its just doesn't seem to be easy. I finally put on a bathing suit. It was strange being I hadn't put one on for so long, 10 years to be exact. I was actually surprised, I looked good. I need to buy my own since I have a cruise coming up. I think I may take up a couple of personal trainer sessions, I need someone to help me with these thighs, I know they will never be hard as a rock, but may be there is something I can do with them, but it seems lipo may be in my future. Anywho, I'll holla back.
9/14/06
Well, the weight loss is doing its thing I am down 109lbs now!! WOOHOOO. Your girl is trying to do the damn thing!!! I am going to try something new with my hair. I am still going to braid it, but not the small micros that I normally get. Right now I am rocking my wig, oh you know the kid doesn't do her real hair. So yesterday I was rocking my Calvin Klein heels I bought in NYC, come to find out I have been rocking 5 INCH HEELS!!! OMG! I walked around NYC for hours in those shoes and my feet didn't even hurt, that is crazy, I didn't realize they were that high. Shoot! your girl is doing the damn thing!! I remember when all I would wear is flats b/c anything else was uncomfy. I enjoy these little moment like this! Yesterday I had dinner with a college buddy that hadn't seen me since graduation. She was like wow you have slimmed down A LOT since college. I just graciously accepted the compliment, I didn't feel I had to say of I had the surgery this time. Its like I have accepted that I had the surgery and the novelty of it, but I don't have to advertise it anymore. I guess I felt I had to validate my surgery, but I am getting more comfortable with it. I did however take a big step, I seeked out therapy. THIS WAS HARD. The first two sessions I left the office and cried all the way home and all night. This week we uncovered why I am single, at least for the most part. I have a severe wall up and I am afraid to express my feelings to a man b/c of my fear of rejection. My therapist challenged me to step out my comfort zone. He said the reason I was so comfortable with NYPD is b/c he wasn't in Florida and I feel safe b/c of the distance. In a way he is right, so he challenged me to use my friendship with NYPD as a way to overcome my fear of men. I dunno, but we shall see. None the less, I am learning that you can lose all the weight in the world, it still won't change being emotionally jacked up. Unfortunately I thought it would have.
9/15/06
I had a really big wow moment I had to share. Last night I was in Publix picking up some things to make my low carb meatloaf. The deli clerk a very nice black lady and I had become very friendly over the past two years. I hadn't seen her in a while so she happen to be working in there last night. When she saw me and realize who I was she was like OMG LOOK AT YOU!!! You look great. She just couldn't get over how much weight I had lost, she made such a big deal about it even patrons in the store were like damn how much did you lose? When I said 109lbs, everyone was stunned! This one guy was like I couldn't even imagine you that big, I am like baby if you only knew....lol! It was embarrasing, but at the same time made me feel good b/c she had known that I had been trying to lose weight for almost two years. I swear sometimes I wish I saw what everyone else saw. I know I am smaller, but I just don't see the "small" person that everyone else sees. Anywho, have a great weekend!
9/21/06
HAPPY NINE MONTH ANNIVERSARY!! 112lbs down and still moving. Its funny but my weight loss picked up this month go figure. I have dedicated myself to a promise for the next 30 days I will do no less than 30 hrs in the gym. I started on 9/20 1 hr down, 29 to go, I want to be extremely hot on my 25th birthday which happens to fall on my 10 month anniversary, plus I will have my first birthday date ever this year. I am so excited me and NYPD are having dinner so this should cool. Eitherway, wish me luck I want to be down another 8lbs by my birthday.
9/24/06
The picture above if from my nephew's wedding yesterday. When he saw me yesterday he was like OMG!! I didn't know it was you until you took off your sunglasses, you look great. I gotta keep you away from all my male friends. I just laughed my sister was like you look wonderful and she could tell that I was really hitting the gym hard that it showed. I am so glad that my hardwork is showing. When I saw that picture I was like OMG!! That's how I look to people when they see me??? It was a shock, cause I still don't see myself like that, but I guess pictures tell the truth. Its funny, before when I saw pics it was like damn, I didn't know I was that big, now its the other way around, isn't life funny.
Ladies and Gents I have manage to drop another five pounds!! WOOOHOOO!! Its funny, when I actually "eat" I seem to drop weight its crazy, may be I slow my weight loss down trying to deeply concentrate on the food that I am eating. I dunno, its weird. I still hit the gym 4-5 times a week, that is a habit that I don't think will change at this point. I like not being the biggest person in the room anymore. I still have self esteem issues, I won't lie, but you know what overall I am starting to feel better about Ebony. I still talk to my friend I met in NY, NYPD as he is so lovingly called, actually we talk to each other everyday on IM. We talk on the phone as well, but what I like about IM is if I have nothing really to say I can make it short and sweet. I still say damn, why did he have to live in NY and I live in FL. I still have no social life, but I am trying to work on that. I dunno, I'm still trying to make my life what I hope it to be, but its just doesn't seem to be easy. I finally put on a bathing suit. It was strange being I hadn't put one on for so long, 10 years to be exact. I was actually surprised, I looked good. I need to buy my own since I have a cruise coming up. I think I may take up a couple of personal trainer sessions, I need someone to help me with these thighs, I know they will never be hard as a rock, but may be there is something I can do with them, but it seems lipo may be in my future. Anywho, I'll holla back.
9/14/06
Well, the weight loss is doing its thing I am down 109lbs now!! WOOHOOO. Your girl is trying to do the damn thing!!! I am going to try something new with my hair. I am still going to braid it, but not the small micros that I normally get. Right now I am rocking my wig, oh you know the kid doesn't do her real hair. So yesterday I was rocking my Calvin Klein heels I bought in NYC, come to find out I have been rocking 5 INCH HEELS!!! OMG! I walked around NYC for hours in those shoes and my feet didn't even hurt, that is crazy, I didn't realize they were that high. Shoot! your girl is doing the damn thing!! I remember when all I would wear is flats b/c anything else was uncomfy. I enjoy these little moment like this! Yesterday I had dinner with a college buddy that hadn't seen me since graduation. She was like wow you have slimmed down A LOT since college. I just graciously accepted the compliment, I didn't feel I had to say of I had the surgery this time. Its like I have accepted that I had the surgery and the novelty of it, but I don't have to advertise it anymore. I guess I felt I had to validate my surgery, but I am getting more comfortable with it. I did however take a big step, I seeked out therapy. THIS WAS HARD. The first two sessions I left the office and cried all the way home and all night. This week we uncovered why I am single, at least for the most part. I have a severe wall up and I am afraid to express my feelings to a man b/c of my fear of rejection. My therapist challenged me to step out my comfort zone. He said the reason I was so comfortable with NYPD is b/c he wasn't in Florida and I feel safe b/c of the distance. In a way he is right, so he challenged me to use my friendship with NYPD as a way to overcome my fear of men. I dunno, but we shall see. None the less, I am learning that you can lose all the weight in the world, it still won't change being emotionally jacked up. Unfortunately I thought it would have.
9/15/06
I had a really big wow moment I had to share. Last night I was in Publix picking up some things to make my low carb meatloaf. The deli clerk a very nice black lady and I had become very friendly over the past two years. I hadn't seen her in a while so she happen to be working in there last night. When she saw me and realize who I was she was like OMG LOOK AT YOU!!! You look great. She just couldn't get over how much weight I had lost, she made such a big deal about it even patrons in the store were like damn how much did you lose? When I said 109lbs, everyone was stunned! This one guy was like I couldn't even imagine you that big, I am like baby if you only knew....lol! It was embarrasing, but at the same time made me feel good b/c she had known that I had been trying to lose weight for almost two years. I swear sometimes I wish I saw what everyone else saw. I know I am smaller, but I just don't see the "small" person that everyone else sees. Anywho, have a great weekend!
9/21/06
HAPPY NINE MONTH ANNIVERSARY!! 112lbs down and still moving. Its funny but my weight loss picked up this month go figure. I have dedicated myself to a promise for the next 30 days I will do no less than 30 hrs in the gym. I started on 9/20 1 hr down, 29 to go, I want to be extremely hot on my 25th birthday which happens to fall on my 10 month anniversary, plus I will have my first birthday date ever this year. I am so excited me and NYPD are having dinner so this should cool. Eitherway, wish me luck I want to be down another 8lbs by my birthday.
9/24/06
The picture above if from my nephew's wedding yesterday. When he saw me yesterday he was like OMG!! I didn't know it was you until you took off your sunglasses, you look great. I gotta keep you away from all my male friends. I just laughed my sister was like you look wonderful and she could tell that I was really hitting the gym hard that it showed. I am so glad that my hardwork is showing. When I saw that picture I was like OMG!! That's how I look to people when they see me??? It was a shock, cause I still don't see myself like that, but I guess pictures tell the truth. Its funny, before when I saw pics it was like damn, I didn't know I was that big, now its the other way around, isn't life funny.
August 2006 Entries - What an interesting month!
Jul 31, 2006
8/4/06
I felt the need to update because I am going thru a very tough period right now, I am ashame to admit this but I have started drinking. Cranberry and Vodka is my drink of choice. Doesn't take much for me to get tipsy, but what I have slowly realized is that I have lost 97lbs and I still feel incomplete. I am so sad all the time all I do is cry. I am able to hold it together long enough in public places, but I am so sad, I sit here at school in the computer lab and all I want to do is cry. It's not that I regret this surgery at all, but I am starting to realize that my unhappiness stems from years of anger and bitterness that not even losing weight can fix. I am so unhappy, I have contemplated and tried suicide so many times over the past month its crazy, I know I am slowing killing myself with the alcohol, but so many days I don't even feel the need to get out of bed. I took a vacation last week because I was just so sick of everything. I'm so tired of fighting, I'm tired of people telling me it will get better, or you have to pray about it, or stop having self pity, or you have so much you should be grateful what are you sad about, or that wanting to kill myself is nonsense and I shouldn't say that. At this point I am so done with life. I am suppose to go to NYC with BAF board next weekend, and to be very honest, I don't want to go, even after buying my ticket, paying my credit card off so its free for the trip, I don't want to go. I just want to drink and sleep. I am still trying to figure why I go to the gym every morning, sometimes I truly have a hangover on the treadmill, go figure but now I am running at 5.5mph for 15 minutes. My mind is so messed up, I don't know what to do, I don't want to live life so lonely and sad anymore, if I have to keep living like this I might as well die.
8/7/06
Well, surprisingly enough I had nothing to drink this weekend. Today made day nine straight at the gym. I found out on Saturday that "the girls" have went down another size, I am now a 40C. And let me say whomever thought low rider jeans were a good idea should be shot! Who are these pants made for, definately not a sista with a big booty. I ended up having to go to the Avenue to get some jeans that fit the way I wanted, I always liked Avenue jeans, thank God they make size 14, the only concern is that they are kind loose already, but dammit I will have to shrink them. Anywho, my friend in GA thinks I need to move may be that will improve my situation, I agree, but gotta have a job. Saturday, this dude that I was suppose to go out with months ago decided to call me and ask if I wanted to go to the movies, I was like hell its better than sitting in the house so I went, Lady in the Water is DUMB! FYI! He is a nice guy, but he just doesn't do it for me. He didn't do it for me before, but because someone embarrassed me in front of him and had him give me his number I called him, but what I am looking for, I just don't think he will be the one to give it to me. I am so over this male/female thing its not even funny. I'm over everything, I am back at work today and so don't want to be there. Friday can't get here fast enough.
8/8/06
Well, Just when I thought no one read this thing, I got some emails of concern. One was very heart felt, on the other hand one states that "However, I really think that right now, you need a friend with benefits.. cuz every girl needs some good dick.. ;) and to work on you... Emotionally, you are going thru a TREMENDOUS amount" Ok while yes I am going thru a lot emotionally, letting someone use me for sex is suppose to make me feel better? Am I missing something? This pissed me off so bad, this started me back on my drinking. I was fighting it so hard last night, but that statement just rubbed me the wrong way. If I just wanted to get laid that wouldn't be an issue, hell I was asked last night by someone could they come over and I said no. That's not what I want. Its easy for someone thats already married to make a dumb statement like that. Is it so wrong for me to want to be loved and to love somebody? Apparently so. I guess I am just meant to be alone, or just accept casual sex right, I can't wait to go home I need something to drink. Life is so depressing right now, I did make it to the gym this morning, hangover and all. Anyway, I'm out, I'll holla.
8/14/06
WHAT A WEEKEND! The BAF board is off the chain! I had so much fun with them in NYC!!! I met so many wonderful people at different stages in their WL journey, and it was amazing to finally put faces with the names of so many people that I have talked to online for so many months! They truly know how to party hardy! If you have never been to a meet and greet, You HAVE TO GO! But, shhh!! It's a secret! What happened in NYC, stays in NYC, but this is what I needed to bring me out of the funk I have been in. I have been remind that life extends outside of Orlando FL. I am so glad I took this trip, I really needed it. Spent too much money, but that is NYC. If you would like to see pictures - check out photos.yahoo.com/ebonydaley
8/15/06
Wow, Monday makes 8 months since my surgery. I have still been working out like crazy. I hope I finally have broken 100lbs. Still reflecting on NYC, I had so much fun! Thank you Miss 203 and Sassy Sista for working that Meet and Greet out, I really needed sometime to heal my soul and NYC, shopping, and the wonderful people I met so helped me do that. THANK YOU!
8/17/06
Ok, messin' around with the BAF board I am going to be broke. I am going to the Walk for Obesity in Washington DC then after that we are going to party. I can't belive it! I just got back from NY, where I had a MARVELOUS TIME! So I booked my flight this morning, so here I am again, getting ready to travel one more time....lol. Im excited to be honest with you, but after this I MUST sit my butt down I have my cruise at the end of October.
8/20/06
I can't believe tomorrow makes 8 months since my surgery. I am so excited. Tonight I met one of my long time BAF buddies Jamming James, he is in town on business. It was so cool to see my him. And he is still trying to get me to ask Mr. Poiice Officer to Washington DC, I am thinking about it. I am just shy thats all. Anywho, I was in the gym for like two hours today and will be back bright and early tomorrow, anywho let me take my butt to bed. Good night.
8/21/06
HAPPY EIGHT MONTH ANNIVERSARY! Well, we finally made it! I finally lost 100lbs, it took forever and a day, but I am here!!! My faith has been restored, for a while I was starting to get concerned am I going to make goal. Its funny how people tell me now that you do not look like you need to lose almost 60lbs, I guess to everyone I look just fine the way I am. Sometimes I really try to see whatever everyone see. I stood in the mirror this morning while I was getting dressed and I can tell I am a smaller person, but I just don't see myself as small as everyone else sees me. None the less, I am very happy with my physical health, my emotional health is an ongoing process, but its getting better. I am actively seeking employment elsewhere, in state and out, I am so sick of this job, it just messes with my mood. Anywho, I am going to DC next month and my goal is to be down AT LEAST another 10lbs by then, so as you know I will be hitting the gym harder than what I am already doing, I will have to get up earlier so I can get in an hour of cardio. Anywho, let me pretend like I want to work now.
8/24/06
"Don't lose any more weight" OMG!!! I am so so so tired of hearing this statement. Ok, folks I am 237lbs at 5'9, while I know its a far cry from 337lbs I am still a big girl! Per Dr Overcash's goal I still have 57lbs to lose, and I intend on dropping these pounds, I have not come this far to stop now. Now truth be told, people are just not use to seeing me this small I know this, but its like how many times am I going to hear,"You don't need to lose anymore weight", "what you trying to look like Beyonce", "Don't start looking like Star Jones", "Where are you gonna lose 57lbs from" I am like damn, 100lbs I was hearing other issues, "you not that big" (bullshit) or "you can try other things besides surgery" blah blah blah, people talk too damn much! All my life I just wanted to be a 14 and now that I have made here and some 14's I have are loose, I mean I am going into new territory and I like it! I will never be a size 6, but I wouldn't mind being a 10/12 top 12/14 bottom, will all this booty and thighs that ain't never going away. I always laughed when I use to read that women lost their boobs, which I did, 44DD to a 40C and there butts, I haven't lost mine, so we shall see how these last 57lbs shape up my body. And yes still hitting the gym 4 to 5 times a week.
I felt the need to update because I am going thru a very tough period right now, I am ashame to admit this but I have started drinking. Cranberry and Vodka is my drink of choice. Doesn't take much for me to get tipsy, but what I have slowly realized is that I have lost 97lbs and I still feel incomplete. I am so sad all the time all I do is cry. I am able to hold it together long enough in public places, but I am so sad, I sit here at school in the computer lab and all I want to do is cry. It's not that I regret this surgery at all, but I am starting to realize that my unhappiness stems from years of anger and bitterness that not even losing weight can fix. I am so unhappy, I have contemplated and tried suicide so many times over the past month its crazy, I know I am slowing killing myself with the alcohol, but so many days I don't even feel the need to get out of bed. I took a vacation last week because I was just so sick of everything. I'm so tired of fighting, I'm tired of people telling me it will get better, or you have to pray about it, or stop having self pity, or you have so much you should be grateful what are you sad about, or that wanting to kill myself is nonsense and I shouldn't say that. At this point I am so done with life. I am suppose to go to NYC with BAF board next weekend, and to be very honest, I don't want to go, even after buying my ticket, paying my credit card off so its free for the trip, I don't want to go. I just want to drink and sleep. I am still trying to figure why I go to the gym every morning, sometimes I truly have a hangover on the treadmill, go figure but now I am running at 5.5mph for 15 minutes. My mind is so messed up, I don't know what to do, I don't want to live life so lonely and sad anymore, if I have to keep living like this I might as well die.
8/7/06
Well, surprisingly enough I had nothing to drink this weekend. Today made day nine straight at the gym. I found out on Saturday that "the girls" have went down another size, I am now a 40C. And let me say whomever thought low rider jeans were a good idea should be shot! Who are these pants made for, definately not a sista with a big booty. I ended up having to go to the Avenue to get some jeans that fit the way I wanted, I always liked Avenue jeans, thank God they make size 14, the only concern is that they are kind loose already, but dammit I will have to shrink them. Anywho, my friend in GA thinks I need to move may be that will improve my situation, I agree, but gotta have a job. Saturday, this dude that I was suppose to go out with months ago decided to call me and ask if I wanted to go to the movies, I was like hell its better than sitting in the house so I went, Lady in the Water is DUMB! FYI! He is a nice guy, but he just doesn't do it for me. He didn't do it for me before, but because someone embarrassed me in front of him and had him give me his number I called him, but what I am looking for, I just don't think he will be the one to give it to me. I am so over this male/female thing its not even funny. I'm over everything, I am back at work today and so don't want to be there. Friday can't get here fast enough.
8/8/06
Well, Just when I thought no one read this thing, I got some emails of concern. One was very heart felt, on the other hand one states that "However, I really think that right now, you need a friend with benefits.. cuz every girl needs some good dick.. ;) and to work on you... Emotionally, you are going thru a TREMENDOUS amount" Ok while yes I am going thru a lot emotionally, letting someone use me for sex is suppose to make me feel better? Am I missing something? This pissed me off so bad, this started me back on my drinking. I was fighting it so hard last night, but that statement just rubbed me the wrong way. If I just wanted to get laid that wouldn't be an issue, hell I was asked last night by someone could they come over and I said no. That's not what I want. Its easy for someone thats already married to make a dumb statement like that. Is it so wrong for me to want to be loved and to love somebody? Apparently so. I guess I am just meant to be alone, or just accept casual sex right, I can't wait to go home I need something to drink. Life is so depressing right now, I did make it to the gym this morning, hangover and all. Anyway, I'm out, I'll holla.
8/14/06
WHAT A WEEKEND! The BAF board is off the chain! I had so much fun with them in NYC!!! I met so many wonderful people at different stages in their WL journey, and it was amazing to finally put faces with the names of so many people that I have talked to online for so many months! They truly know how to party hardy! If you have never been to a meet and greet, You HAVE TO GO! But, shhh!! It's a secret! What happened in NYC, stays in NYC, but this is what I needed to bring me out of the funk I have been in. I have been remind that life extends outside of Orlando FL. I am so glad I took this trip, I really needed it. Spent too much money, but that is NYC. If you would like to see pictures - check out photos.yahoo.com/ebonydaley
8/15/06
Wow, Monday makes 8 months since my surgery. I have still been working out like crazy. I hope I finally have broken 100lbs. Still reflecting on NYC, I had so much fun! Thank you Miss 203 and Sassy Sista for working that Meet and Greet out, I really needed sometime to heal my soul and NYC, shopping, and the wonderful people I met so helped me do that. THANK YOU!
8/17/06
Ok, messin' around with the BAF board I am going to be broke. I am going to the Walk for Obesity in Washington DC then after that we are going to party. I can't belive it! I just got back from NY, where I had a MARVELOUS TIME! So I booked my flight this morning, so here I am again, getting ready to travel one more time....lol. Im excited to be honest with you, but after this I MUST sit my butt down I have my cruise at the end of October.
8/20/06
I can't believe tomorrow makes 8 months since my surgery. I am so excited. Tonight I met one of my long time BAF buddies Jamming James, he is in town on business. It was so cool to see my him. And he is still trying to get me to ask Mr. Poiice Officer to Washington DC, I am thinking about it. I am just shy thats all. Anywho, I was in the gym for like two hours today and will be back bright and early tomorrow, anywho let me take my butt to bed. Good night.
8/21/06
HAPPY EIGHT MONTH ANNIVERSARY! Well, we finally made it! I finally lost 100lbs, it took forever and a day, but I am here!!! My faith has been restored, for a while I was starting to get concerned am I going to make goal. Its funny how people tell me now that you do not look like you need to lose almost 60lbs, I guess to everyone I look just fine the way I am. Sometimes I really try to see whatever everyone see. I stood in the mirror this morning while I was getting dressed and I can tell I am a smaller person, but I just don't see myself as small as everyone else sees me. None the less, I am very happy with my physical health, my emotional health is an ongoing process, but its getting better. I am actively seeking employment elsewhere, in state and out, I am so sick of this job, it just messes with my mood. Anywho, I am going to DC next month and my goal is to be down AT LEAST another 10lbs by then, so as you know I will be hitting the gym harder than what I am already doing, I will have to get up earlier so I can get in an hour of cardio. Anywho, let me pretend like I want to work now.
8/24/06
"Don't lose any more weight" OMG!!! I am so so so tired of hearing this statement. Ok, folks I am 237lbs at 5'9, while I know its a far cry from 337lbs I am still a big girl! Per Dr Overcash's goal I still have 57lbs to lose, and I intend on dropping these pounds, I have not come this far to stop now. Now truth be told, people are just not use to seeing me this small I know this, but its like how many times am I going to hear,"You don't need to lose anymore weight", "what you trying to look like Beyonce", "Don't start looking like Star Jones", "Where are you gonna lose 57lbs from" I am like damn, 100lbs I was hearing other issues, "you not that big" (bullshit) or "you can try other things besides surgery" blah blah blah, people talk too damn much! All my life I just wanted to be a 14 and now that I have made here and some 14's I have are loose, I mean I am going into new territory and I like it! I will never be a size 6, but I wouldn't mind being a 10/12 top 12/14 bottom, will all this booty and thighs that ain't never going away. I always laughed when I use to read that women lost their boobs, which I did, 44DD to a 40C and there butts, I haven't lost mine, so we shall see how these last 57lbs shape up my body. And yes still hitting the gym 4 to 5 times a week.
July 2006 Entries
Jun 30, 2006
7/8/06
Well, I am 6lbs from breaking 100lbs lost, finally, its almost here. I weighed myself this morning after I left the gym, of course it doesn't help that my period is on right now, but I need to know how close I am am to coveted century club. Today I was in Walmart looking for a new sports bra and I saw this sponge bob loungewear in the lingerie section I picked up the pants they were a juniors 15 and the biggest shirt was a juniors L, I was like I am playing myself, but I am going to buy them, ladies and gents I proud to say that I am wearing them right now. I am so excited, I can't believe it, the last time I wore this size I was 17 years old. Anyway, I have lots of homework, just wanted to update you guys, And hopefully by July 21st, I can say 100lbs down, 57 to go!
7/17/06
Well the past few weeks have been very interesting. I am definately toning and my hips and thighs are firming up thanks to the weigh lifting. I am able to run on the treadmill at 5 mph for 13 minutes without being winded, that feels so awesome. I found myself in the shower this morning having to really get a reality check. I am complaining that I haven't lost 100lbs yet, but I am in the best physical shape I have ever been in my life. I am able to sleep at night, no more high blood pressure, and I can shop in places I could never shop before, and I am not going to even talk about how I can actually wear heels now something I had to give up when I was 337lbs. So while I am still striving for 100lbs + I have to be grateful for the improvements in my life already, 94lbs ain't nothing to sneeze at! Anywho, Friday is my anniversary, 7 months WOW! So I guess I will weigh in Friday to see what I am working with. One thing I need to work on is eating! I wrote down everything I ate last week I am really am not eating enough, but I just really have no appetite, but I know not getting enough calories can hinder my weight loss as well. Anywho! Happy Monday!
7/21/06
HAPPY SEVEN MONTH ANNIVERSARY! Well today makes seven months since my surgery. I weighed yesterday still at 94lbs loss, but I can wear clothes I couldn't before like the dress I have on today, so I am going to assume that I am in the losing inches mode and keep rolling. I have been hitting the weights and cardio 5 times a week now. I complain the numbers aren't moving, but my body is getting toned I guess its a catch 22. There was a guy that use to work in my department before I had surgery has since come back, and he speaks to me more now than he ever did before, its almost scary, and even after almost 2 years I still have the biggest crush on him, but I won't even do it. More than likely he has someone, the employed, good ones are always taken. Anyway, to say that the emotional garbage that is in my world has gotten better is a joke. Its a daily struggle everyday. It hurts a lot, but I have no friends, the so called friends I had I realized these people were not what I thought they were. I have basically had to isolate myself, whats the point of having people in your life that cannot be a positive resource. I have given and given for so long and I am sick of it. At this point I am honestly relearning who I am. I am not the same person I was 7 months ago. They are right, I have changed, I won't be talked to any kind of way anymore and I won't put up with bullshit, so if that makes me so bad then I say FUCK IT! I am tired, I have spent my whole life trying to please others to be accepted and never was, so now I am doing it my way whether its liked or not. Anywho, Happy Friday all!
Well, I am 6lbs from breaking 100lbs lost, finally, its almost here. I weighed myself this morning after I left the gym, of course it doesn't help that my period is on right now, but I need to know how close I am am to coveted century club. Today I was in Walmart looking for a new sports bra and I saw this sponge bob loungewear in the lingerie section I picked up the pants they were a juniors 15 and the biggest shirt was a juniors L, I was like I am playing myself, but I am going to buy them, ladies and gents I proud to say that I am wearing them right now. I am so excited, I can't believe it, the last time I wore this size I was 17 years old. Anyway, I have lots of homework, just wanted to update you guys, And hopefully by July 21st, I can say 100lbs down, 57 to go!
7/17/06
Well the past few weeks have been very interesting. I am definately toning and my hips and thighs are firming up thanks to the weigh lifting. I am able to run on the treadmill at 5 mph for 13 minutes without being winded, that feels so awesome. I found myself in the shower this morning having to really get a reality check. I am complaining that I haven't lost 100lbs yet, but I am in the best physical shape I have ever been in my life. I am able to sleep at night, no more high blood pressure, and I can shop in places I could never shop before, and I am not going to even talk about how I can actually wear heels now something I had to give up when I was 337lbs. So while I am still striving for 100lbs + I have to be grateful for the improvements in my life already, 94lbs ain't nothing to sneeze at! Anywho, Friday is my anniversary, 7 months WOW! So I guess I will weigh in Friday to see what I am working with. One thing I need to work on is eating! I wrote down everything I ate last week I am really am not eating enough, but I just really have no appetite, but I know not getting enough calories can hinder my weight loss as well. Anywho! Happy Monday!
7/21/06
HAPPY SEVEN MONTH ANNIVERSARY! Well today makes seven months since my surgery. I weighed yesterday still at 94lbs loss, but I can wear clothes I couldn't before like the dress I have on today, so I am going to assume that I am in the losing inches mode and keep rolling. I have been hitting the weights and cardio 5 times a week now. I complain the numbers aren't moving, but my body is getting toned I guess its a catch 22. There was a guy that use to work in my department before I had surgery has since come back, and he speaks to me more now than he ever did before, its almost scary, and even after almost 2 years I still have the biggest crush on him, but I won't even do it. More than likely he has someone, the employed, good ones are always taken. Anyway, to say that the emotional garbage that is in my world has gotten better is a joke. Its a daily struggle everyday. It hurts a lot, but I have no friends, the so called friends I had I realized these people were not what I thought they were. I have basically had to isolate myself, whats the point of having people in your life that cannot be a positive resource. I have given and given for so long and I am sick of it. At this point I am honestly relearning who I am. I am not the same person I was 7 months ago. They are right, I have changed, I won't be talked to any kind of way anymore and I won't put up with bullshit, so if that makes me so bad then I say FUCK IT! I am tired, I have spent my whole life trying to please others to be accepted and never was, so now I am doing it my way whether its liked or not. Anywho, Happy Friday all!
June 2006 Entries - Six Months Out!
May 31, 2006
6/11/06
Yesterday I went to the beauty salon, for the most part she said my hair was in good shape, but there was one section where it broke off, when she pointed out to me, I remember pre-surgery I had problems with that exact same spot, so I really cannot say whether it is related to the surgery, but my hair had not shed or fell out in clumps, I feel fortunate, but I had her sew in extensions. I don't like my real hair, so I always find someone else's hair to compliment it...lol. I also got my blood work results back and everything is normal!! That was good to hear, VERY happy about that. So I definately plan on keeping that up. Anywho I got finals this week so I am on the grind. I'll holla back.
6/19/06
Yesterday I went to see my mom for Father's Day, my dad is deceased so I figured I would honor her. I walked in the room and she looked at me and then kept talking to someone else, I was like ma? She looked again, she was like Ebony? OMG I didn't even recognize you. Ok that is scary when your own mother looks you dead in the face and has no idea who you are. I kinda was insulted at first, because I saw her in April and I didn't think it was that big of a change, but when I think about it, I weighed almost 30lbs more than what I do now, so I guess it may be that big of a change, people around me say it is, but I think I look the same. Go figure, well I will be back on Wednesday to celebrate my six month anniversary.
6/21/06
HAPPY SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY! I can't believe it!! I have made it this far. Tomorrow I go see Dr. O, so hopefully he will be happy with my progress so far. I know I am. I want him to ok me starting a serious weight training program. I have been very limited on it because I don't want to mess up and hurt myself, but I am ready to kick my work out into high gear. Anywho, its funny, I can wear regular 11's even some 10.5 shoes, something I havent been able to do in years. Its funny I have on my three inch heels today and my feet don't even hurt, something that almost 100lbs ago I know that I couldn't do. This feels so wonderful. Its funny, this guy that hadn't seen me in a while today saw me and he was like damn, he had to call me and tell me you look good and he could tell I have have been working out because I have a "defined" waist, what the hell is that. Never heard that said to me before....lol. Anyway, I will give you the Dr Overcash update tomorrow. I go see Toni Braxton tomorrow night so needless to say, new pictures. I am going with the guy I met about 6 weeks ago, hopefully we will have a good time. TTYL
6/23/06
Well Dr Overcash was happy, phew what a relief. He was very happy with my progress so far. He was like wow look at you, you look hot! I couldn't help but laugh. He ok'd me to start weight training and crunches, I was nervous to do that but now that I know its all good I am going to hit it hard. He asked me how men were responding to me now, lawwwwdd it has been a trip, but overall it was a good visit. It was nice to see the "human" side of my surgeon. He told me I don't have to come back for 6 months, so I set my date on my 1 year anniversary 12/21/06. So I am really striving to be down 60 to 70lbs by then. So I just wanted to fill you in the on the visit with Dr O. Since I have no life I went to the gym tonight, yeah ain't that fabulous, but whatever, its better than eating myself to oblivian, something I can't do anyway so it doesn't matter. Anyway I am taking it to the bed, good night.
6/30/06
Well, let me just say the kid is NOT having a good week! If it hasn't been one thing, its been another. I am so physically and emotionally drained its not even funny. And I start another semester of Grad School tonight. Anyway. I finally did it, I joined a coed gym. I have really been nervous about that, but my coworker convinced me to finally do it and they had a 10 sign up fee 10 dollars a month with no contract, so I guess you can't beat that. I have been very fortunate not to have the skin issue so far and I am trying to continue the path. I have 70bs to lose to be at my goal of 175 only 65 to be at the Dr's goal of 180. I want to be there or damn near close by December. I am impatient I know. I have decided starting Monday, I am going on extreme protein, no more than 20 carbs a day for at least two weeks. I know this may seem extreme to some, but I am extreme. I need to get my confidence back. I have decided at this point in the game I am going to throw myself into school and working out, after all, nothing else seems to be going right. Go figure. Anywho. Happy 4th. Talk to you soon.
Yesterday I went to the beauty salon, for the most part she said my hair was in good shape, but there was one section where it broke off, when she pointed out to me, I remember pre-surgery I had problems with that exact same spot, so I really cannot say whether it is related to the surgery, but my hair had not shed or fell out in clumps, I feel fortunate, but I had her sew in extensions. I don't like my real hair, so I always find someone else's hair to compliment it...lol. I also got my blood work results back and everything is normal!! That was good to hear, VERY happy about that. So I definately plan on keeping that up. Anywho I got finals this week so I am on the grind. I'll holla back.
6/19/06
Yesterday I went to see my mom for Father's Day, my dad is deceased so I figured I would honor her. I walked in the room and she looked at me and then kept talking to someone else, I was like ma? She looked again, she was like Ebony? OMG I didn't even recognize you. Ok that is scary when your own mother looks you dead in the face and has no idea who you are. I kinda was insulted at first, because I saw her in April and I didn't think it was that big of a change, but when I think about it, I weighed almost 30lbs more than what I do now, so I guess it may be that big of a change, people around me say it is, but I think I look the same. Go figure, well I will be back on Wednesday to celebrate my six month anniversary.
6/21/06
HAPPY SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY! I can't believe it!! I have made it this far. Tomorrow I go see Dr. O, so hopefully he will be happy with my progress so far. I know I am. I want him to ok me starting a serious weight training program. I have been very limited on it because I don't want to mess up and hurt myself, but I am ready to kick my work out into high gear. Anywho, its funny, I can wear regular 11's even some 10.5 shoes, something I havent been able to do in years. Its funny I have on my three inch heels today and my feet don't even hurt, something that almost 100lbs ago I know that I couldn't do. This feels so wonderful. Its funny, this guy that hadn't seen me in a while today saw me and he was like damn, he had to call me and tell me you look good and he could tell I have have been working out because I have a "defined" waist, what the hell is that. Never heard that said to me before....lol. Anyway, I will give you the Dr Overcash update tomorrow. I go see Toni Braxton tomorrow night so needless to say, new pictures. I am going with the guy I met about 6 weeks ago, hopefully we will have a good time. TTYL
6/23/06
Well Dr Overcash was happy, phew what a relief. He was very happy with my progress so far. He was like wow look at you, you look hot! I couldn't help but laugh. He ok'd me to start weight training and crunches, I was nervous to do that but now that I know its all good I am going to hit it hard. He asked me how men were responding to me now, lawwwwdd it has been a trip, but overall it was a good visit. It was nice to see the "human" side of my surgeon. He told me I don't have to come back for 6 months, so I set my date on my 1 year anniversary 12/21/06. So I am really striving to be down 60 to 70lbs by then. So I just wanted to fill you in the on the visit with Dr O. Since I have no life I went to the gym tonight, yeah ain't that fabulous, but whatever, its better than eating myself to oblivian, something I can't do anyway so it doesn't matter. Anyway I am taking it to the bed, good night.
6/30/06
Well, let me just say the kid is NOT having a good week! If it hasn't been one thing, its been another. I am so physically and emotionally drained its not even funny. And I start another semester of Grad School tonight. Anyway. I finally did it, I joined a coed gym. I have really been nervous about that, but my coworker convinced me to finally do it and they had a 10 sign up fee 10 dollars a month with no contract, so I guess you can't beat that. I have been very fortunate not to have the skin issue so far and I am trying to continue the path. I have 70bs to lose to be at my goal of 175 only 65 to be at the Dr's goal of 180. I want to be there or damn near close by December. I am impatient I know. I have decided starting Monday, I am going on extreme protein, no more than 20 carbs a day for at least two weeks. I know this may seem extreme to some, but I am extreme. I need to get my confidence back. I have decided at this point in the game I am going to throw myself into school and working out, after all, nothing else seems to be going right. Go figure. Anywho. Happy 4th. Talk to you soon.
May 2006 Entries
Apr 30, 2006
5/16/06
I am so bad at updating this and I visit this site EVERYDAY!! Well, nothing new has happened. I am still exercising and getting in the protein. I know a lot of people hate protein bars and shakes, but I swear that is how I make it thru to be honest. The Vitamin Shoppe is pissing me off because my RTD 51 shake is on back order AGAIN!!!! I really need them to get that together, that is my breakfast in the morning, I am lost without it. It's funny I tried to eat one morning instead of the shake and my stomach, so was not having it. So I know that I must drink in the morning, or may be its a mental thing, who knows :D. Anywho, I am still Striving towards 100lbs by June 21, I go see Dr. Overcash on June 22, hopefully, this time I won't have any road debris in my way.
5/21/06
HAPPY FIVE MONTH ANNIVERSARY!! I can't believe its been five months since my surgery. It's amazing to me that time has past so quickly. I decided not to weigh in today, I am just going to wait until I go see Dr. Overcash and see what the six month total is. I just came back from sweatin' at the gym in my complex. The only reason I think I will join a real gym is because the complex doesn't offer a variety of weight training and that is important. Im trying to decide between a coed or an all women's gym. I dunno. Anywho wish me luck as I go into the home stretch trying to reach my 100lbs mark. Im only 18lbs away from it. Anywho, smooches.
5/22/06
Hello again, well today I am a little sore today, because I worked out hard for the last 4 days, I did squats yesterday and LAAAAWWDDD, the back of my thighs are hurting like whoooaaaa. Well, this weekend I actually had my first official "date" since surgery. I had a great time. I actually met him a week ago and we have already made plans to go out again. When went out for drinks, well he drank and I had water so I guess he thought that was a good time to ask questions about the surgery. I have always been open and honest about it and why I did it, but like any dude he is like, that really will make you a cheap date huh? I couldn't help but laugh, but its true, I mean I barely eat and at 5 months out I surely cannot do alcohol. *shrugs*, anywho, Surprisingly to me, I didn't have the negative view I thought I would have had about him. I realized, this guy didn't know me 82lbs ago, I can't hold that against him. I mean I am still a good sized woman and he even was like well how small will you get, because he likes his women "thick" oh brother, but the truth is who knows. I was talking to my brother last night and he is like for me 180 to 200lbs is good. I agree. My goal from the surgeon is 180, I think that is attainable and maintainable for me. Anywho, holla back.
5/24/06
I had a WOW moment today. Yesterday I walked thru Sears and I saw this skirt in the misses section that caught my eye, today I went back with my trusted wardrobe consultant, my coworker that is and she approved a similar selection, but she made me pick up the skirt in a 14 and a L top. I cannot believe it, but it fits, the L top and the Misses 14 skirt, *faints* Its amazing the sales you catch in the misses department. I got 5 complete outfits for 131.00 try doing that in Lane Bryant, not a chance!!!! I tell you I finally packed up my 22/24 clothes and sent them to a friend of mine who could use them, so I basically got rid of half my clothes, so I was able to replenish. It felt good not to have to shop in a plus size store anymore!!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!!
I am so bad at updating this and I visit this site EVERYDAY!! Well, nothing new has happened. I am still exercising and getting in the protein. I know a lot of people hate protein bars and shakes, but I swear that is how I make it thru to be honest. The Vitamin Shoppe is pissing me off because my RTD 51 shake is on back order AGAIN!!!! I really need them to get that together, that is my breakfast in the morning, I am lost without it. It's funny I tried to eat one morning instead of the shake and my stomach, so was not having it. So I know that I must drink in the morning, or may be its a mental thing, who knows :D. Anywho, I am still Striving towards 100lbs by June 21, I go see Dr. Overcash on June 22, hopefully, this time I won't have any road debris in my way.
5/21/06
HAPPY FIVE MONTH ANNIVERSARY!! I can't believe its been five months since my surgery. It's amazing to me that time has past so quickly. I decided not to weigh in today, I am just going to wait until I go see Dr. Overcash and see what the six month total is. I just came back from sweatin' at the gym in my complex. The only reason I think I will join a real gym is because the complex doesn't offer a variety of weight training and that is important. Im trying to decide between a coed or an all women's gym. I dunno. Anywho wish me luck as I go into the home stretch trying to reach my 100lbs mark. Im only 18lbs away from it. Anywho, smooches.
5/22/06
Hello again, well today I am a little sore today, because I worked out hard for the last 4 days, I did squats yesterday and LAAAAWWDDD, the back of my thighs are hurting like whoooaaaa. Well, this weekend I actually had my first official "date" since surgery. I had a great time. I actually met him a week ago and we have already made plans to go out again. When went out for drinks, well he drank and I had water so I guess he thought that was a good time to ask questions about the surgery. I have always been open and honest about it and why I did it, but like any dude he is like, that really will make you a cheap date huh? I couldn't help but laugh, but its true, I mean I barely eat and at 5 months out I surely cannot do alcohol. *shrugs*, anywho, Surprisingly to me, I didn't have the negative view I thought I would have had about him. I realized, this guy didn't know me 82lbs ago, I can't hold that against him. I mean I am still a good sized woman and he even was like well how small will you get, because he likes his women "thick" oh brother, but the truth is who knows. I was talking to my brother last night and he is like for me 180 to 200lbs is good. I agree. My goal from the surgeon is 180, I think that is attainable and maintainable for me. Anywho, holla back.
5/24/06
I had a WOW moment today. Yesterday I walked thru Sears and I saw this skirt in the misses section that caught my eye, today I went back with my trusted wardrobe consultant, my coworker that is and she approved a similar selection, but she made me pick up the skirt in a 14 and a L top. I cannot believe it, but it fits, the L top and the Misses 14 skirt, *faints* Its amazing the sales you catch in the misses department. I got 5 complete outfits for 131.00 try doing that in Lane Bryant, not a chance!!!! I tell you I finally packed up my 22/24 clothes and sent them to a friend of mine who could use them, so I basically got rid of half my clothes, so I was able to replenish. It felt good not to have to shop in a plus size store anymore!!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!!
April 2006 Entries
Mar 31, 2006
4/14/06 Lord where have I been? I know its been awhile since I have updated. Things are going well. Yesterday I was able to fit into a Misses XL, that was SO exciting for me! It feels so good to try on clothes and not be disgusted at the size. I agreed to go to church with my mom on Sunday and my current church clothes look like big blobs on me now, so I was really excited to find some good deals in Kohl's. My mom hasn't seen me since late February so I am curious as to what she may say. My mother is not one of the most supportive people in the world, so more than likely she will find something negative to say knowing her. She has one time to piss me off and I am gone, I am so not trying to hear the negativity. Anywho, next Friday is my four month anniversary. I can't believe its been that long since my surgery. I recently saw a guy who hadn't seen me since October and he was stunned. He was like wow you were beautiful then, but it crazy how much weight you have lost. I just accepted the compliments, but dammit it felt GOOD to hear him of all people say it and notice. Anywho, next Friday is weigh in and a new picture to add to the journey. Talk to you soon.
4/17/06
Well yesterday I went to see mom and to my surprise she wasn't negative. Her first response was wow, you looking fine! I was shocked, then she said something that made no sense she was like your legs have even changed shape you look even more like your sister when you walk. When I saw my pictures from yesterday I was stunned. I really started to realize that the weight is coming off. I am impatient and I wanted to be down 8lbs pounds by Friday, I know more than likely I won't make it, but thats only 9 more lbs I should make that by the first part of next month. Eitherway, its going to come off, and I have been working out really hard I am trying to tone and tighten as much as I can. My legs went from extremely jiggly to starting to firm up so that is a great thing. I told a friend of mine yesterday I think this month I lost more inches than weight and that is fine with me, the weight will come down, but I want the inches to go and I am trying to avoid as much of the hanging skin as possible. Ok ya'll, holla back.
4/21/06
HAPPY FOUR MONTH ANNIVERSARY! Wow, time has flown by. Let me first say that I am so grateful everyday for the gift of WLS! Life has been going well for me. I am down 73lbs as of Monday, so I decided not to weigh again until I see Dr. Overcash on 4/25. I see my PCP on 4/24 to check my B-12 and Iron Levels. I want to make sure that everything is ok with that. I am going back to my old college this weekend to see some friends of mine graduate. I am so excited that the dress I wore two years ago myself not only fits again, but its loose. It was a Misses 18 so I am very VERY excited. I will say that as the days go by adjusting to my new life has been easier and easier. I will say its amazing how men have come at me left and right now, its disgusting to be quite honest. Anywho, I will holla back after I see Dr. Overcash with what he has to say about my current statistics..lol
4/28/06
This has been a crazy week! On the way to the Doctor I had an accident, so I have yet to truly know what my four month loss was so I am going to take the 73lbs and roll with that! I am so excited, I pray by June 21st I will be down 100lbs! I had to give an update on my pre surgery goals, so lets see how I am doing.
1. Walk up stairs without feeling like I am going to pass out (done, I can run up the stairs)
2. Cross my legs (done)
3. Wear stiletto shoes (not yet)
4. Shop at NY & Co, Express, Gap, Victoria�s Secret & Banana Republic (Haven't went to any of them yet, but I can fit in the Misses XL at Kohls)
5. Finally rock a short haircut (I am still rocking the braids)
6. Wear a skirt that is above my knees (Not there yet)
7. Finally a own a �little black dress� (Not there yet)
8. Enjoy sex better, stop being afraid to explore my sexuality (I recently did this on Monday, and it was unbelievable, he flat out told me that I was not like this before I lost weight.) *will address this in detail in a minute*
9. Go to my college homecoming in 2006 and shock the hell out of folks. (Went to the 2006 graduation and already shocking the hell out of folks)
10. Not being the biggest woman in the room (So far so good)
11. Stop hearing you�re pretty to be a �big girl� (Now I hear you were always pretty even when you were bigger *shrugs*)
12. Walking with my head up when I walk pass a nice looking man (Still working on that)
13. Wear a belt without feeling uncomfortable (Hell my belt is too big)
14. Take Salsa lessons (Working on my rhythm first)
15. Discover other colors for my wardrobe besides, black, blue, and brown as base colors. ( I actually bought a shirt in rose pink and beige pants)
So far, things are going well. I know the sex thing can be taboo, but I have to admit, one I didn't know I was the flexible..lol. Two, its a great workout. Three, now that I am more comfortable with my body I am not afraid to enjoy myself, even with a scar on my stomach, it didn't bother me as much as having 75lbs more on me. And even my partner was like damn girl, I like this, he even said it felt better was easier to get "buck wild"...lol I will say this, in my entire sexually active life, I have NEVER had sex like I did Monday. it was definately a difference. Well, hopefully my 5 month anniversary will bring me closer to 100lbs, I would like to lose at least 15lbs in the next month. I will see Dr. O in June, and hopefully this time there will be no pieces of 2 X 4's on the interstate.
I did see my PCP this week and she is like you are looking great, she made sure my eating was ok and I am going to get my labs on my B12 and Iron to make sure I am ok, I don't feel bad or anything, but I just want to make sure that everything is all good. My blood pressure was 108/72, which a far cry from 163/120. THANK GOD!
4/17/06
Well yesterday I went to see mom and to my surprise she wasn't negative. Her first response was wow, you looking fine! I was shocked, then she said something that made no sense she was like your legs have even changed shape you look even more like your sister when you walk. When I saw my pictures from yesterday I was stunned. I really started to realize that the weight is coming off. I am impatient and I wanted to be down 8lbs pounds by Friday, I know more than likely I won't make it, but thats only 9 more lbs I should make that by the first part of next month. Eitherway, its going to come off, and I have been working out really hard I am trying to tone and tighten as much as I can. My legs went from extremely jiggly to starting to firm up so that is a great thing. I told a friend of mine yesterday I think this month I lost more inches than weight and that is fine with me, the weight will come down, but I want the inches to go and I am trying to avoid as much of the hanging skin as possible. Ok ya'll, holla back.
4/21/06
HAPPY FOUR MONTH ANNIVERSARY! Wow, time has flown by. Let me first say that I am so grateful everyday for the gift of WLS! Life has been going well for me. I am down 73lbs as of Monday, so I decided not to weigh again until I see Dr. Overcash on 4/25. I see my PCP on 4/24 to check my B-12 and Iron Levels. I want to make sure that everything is ok with that. I am going back to my old college this weekend to see some friends of mine graduate. I am so excited that the dress I wore two years ago myself not only fits again, but its loose. It was a Misses 18 so I am very VERY excited. I will say that as the days go by adjusting to my new life has been easier and easier. I will say its amazing how men have come at me left and right now, its disgusting to be quite honest. Anywho, I will holla back after I see Dr. Overcash with what he has to say about my current statistics..lol
4/28/06
This has been a crazy week! On the way to the Doctor I had an accident, so I have yet to truly know what my four month loss was so I am going to take the 73lbs and roll with that! I am so excited, I pray by June 21st I will be down 100lbs! I had to give an update on my pre surgery goals, so lets see how I am doing.
1. Walk up stairs without feeling like I am going to pass out (done, I can run up the stairs)
2. Cross my legs (done)
3. Wear stiletto shoes (not yet)
4. Shop at NY & Co, Express, Gap, Victoria�s Secret & Banana Republic (Haven't went to any of them yet, but I can fit in the Misses XL at Kohls)
5. Finally rock a short haircut (I am still rocking the braids)
6. Wear a skirt that is above my knees (Not there yet)
7. Finally a own a �little black dress� (Not there yet)
8. Enjoy sex better, stop being afraid to explore my sexuality (I recently did this on Monday, and it was unbelievable, he flat out told me that I was not like this before I lost weight.) *will address this in detail in a minute*
9. Go to my college homecoming in 2006 and shock the hell out of folks. (Went to the 2006 graduation and already shocking the hell out of folks)
10. Not being the biggest woman in the room (So far so good)
11. Stop hearing you�re pretty to be a �big girl� (Now I hear you were always pretty even when you were bigger *shrugs*)
12. Walking with my head up when I walk pass a nice looking man (Still working on that)
13. Wear a belt without feeling uncomfortable (Hell my belt is too big)
14. Take Salsa lessons (Working on my rhythm first)
15. Discover other colors for my wardrobe besides, black, blue, and brown as base colors. ( I actually bought a shirt in rose pink and beige pants)
So far, things are going well. I know the sex thing can be taboo, but I have to admit, one I didn't know I was the flexible..lol. Two, its a great workout. Three, now that I am more comfortable with my body I am not afraid to enjoy myself, even with a scar on my stomach, it didn't bother me as much as having 75lbs more on me. And even my partner was like damn girl, I like this, he even said it felt better was easier to get "buck wild"...lol I will say this, in my entire sexually active life, I have NEVER had sex like I did Monday. it was definately a difference. Well, hopefully my 5 month anniversary will bring me closer to 100lbs, I would like to lose at least 15lbs in the next month. I will see Dr. O in June, and hopefully this time there will be no pieces of 2 X 4's on the interstate.
I did see my PCP this week and she is like you are looking great, she made sure my eating was ok and I am going to get my labs on my B12 and Iron to make sure I am ok, I don't feel bad or anything, but I just want to make sure that everything is all good. My blood pressure was 108/72, which a far cry from 163/120. THANK GOD!
March 2006 Entries
Feb 28, 2006
3/7/06
Well, here we are in March, wow how time speeds by, exactly two weeks from my three month anniversary! I am happy to say an outfit that I haven't been able to wear since 2004 fit beautifully this morning. The shirt is a 14/16, the bottoms 18, me and all that booty. Anywho, when I looked in the mirror this morning I was amazed. I could really see the physical change even more in my body. The last time I wore this outfit and it looked like this I was 270 - 275, so I must not be too far off from that. I don't weigh myself on a regular basis, one I don't want to become a scale ho and two because I know I am doing what I am supposed to do so the weight will come off when it is good and ready. Anywho I am going to try to get a picture of the accomplishment today. And here I thought I would never fit back into this outfit again! PRAISE GOD!
3/21/06
HAPPY THREE MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!! I am proud to say that as of 30 minutes ago, (1:08p EST currently) I am down 64lbs!!!! I am so excited. That means I have 17lbs to go to be half way to goal! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited right now. I really am on my way now. I will have a new picture soon, but did I say how EXCITED I AM! YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe the rollercoaster ride that I have been on so far. I am so happy right now! I will try to update more often, with finals and moving I have been so so busy. I hope all is well.
Well, here we are in March, wow how time speeds by, exactly two weeks from my three month anniversary! I am happy to say an outfit that I haven't been able to wear since 2004 fit beautifully this morning. The shirt is a 14/16, the bottoms 18, me and all that booty. Anywho, when I looked in the mirror this morning I was amazed. I could really see the physical change even more in my body. The last time I wore this outfit and it looked like this I was 270 - 275, so I must not be too far off from that. I don't weigh myself on a regular basis, one I don't want to become a scale ho and two because I know I am doing what I am supposed to do so the weight will come off when it is good and ready. Anywho I am going to try to get a picture of the accomplishment today. And here I thought I would never fit back into this outfit again! PRAISE GOD!
3/21/06
HAPPY THREE MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!! I am proud to say that as of 30 minutes ago, (1:08p EST currently) I am down 64lbs!!!! I am so excited. That means I have 17lbs to go to be half way to goal! I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO excited right now. I really am on my way now. I will have a new picture soon, but did I say how EXCITED I AM! YAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe the rollercoaster ride that I have been on so far. I am so happy right now! I will try to update more often, with finals and moving I have been so so busy. I hope all is well.
February 2006 Entries
Jan 31, 2006
2/2/06
Well, hello all! Just to bring you up-to-date. I haven't been on the scale again :). This morning I decided to venture to the back of the closest and try on a size 18 outfit I haven't been able to wear since last summer. I was really nervous. I looked at the skirt and said there is no way I am able to wear this yet, so I pulled out a back up outfit. So I tried on the skirt and OMG it fit, I tried on the shirt and OMG it fit too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am back in my size 18's!!! This is great. Once my 18's get to big I am screwed, because that's the smallest size in my closet. Either way, I am very VERY happy that I can wear this outfit again. It feels SO good to fit back into my clothes. Anywho, I just wanted to share my happy moment. I woke up early today so I worked out this morning and I plan on working out tonight too. Anyway, Tuesday I go for my six week follow up, so I am hoping to drop four more pounds by then. Wish me luck.
2/3/06
Today was a WOW day. This afternoon, one of my coworkers as we were going to meeting said, "dang it seems like you are losing weight everyday" I felt so good that someone that see me everyday and is male noticed a change, and then I had another male coworker tell me you can definately see the change in your face, you look so much smaller. Talking about wanting to blush, but I felt so good to get two compliments in one day. Well, thats all I had to say, hopefully Tuesday will be a good day. I'll holla back at you later.
2/9/06
Well, lets update shall we, I went to see Dr O on 2/7 and I was down 37lbs, awwww I really wanted to be down 40, but either way, atleast I am going down and not up. He was very pleased with my progress and I don't have to see him again until 4/25. That gives me a little over 2.5 months to drop 44lbs to reach half of my goal which is 81lbs. I KNOW that I can do this. I just have to keep up the exercise, water and protein. So I will keep you updated with my progress. I now seem to have an issue with eating on time, I really REALLY need to a rountine down so I can keep up on everything. I ventured to the back of the closest again today and I am wearing an outfit I haven't been able to rock since like mid summer last year. This really makes me feel good, right now I am sitting at my desk full as I can be right now. I had some taco seasoned lean ground beef with cheese and fat free sour cream. OOHHHH WEEE Im sleepy. The big plus is I found someone to be my roommate on the BAF cruise so I am very excited about going on a cruise for the first time in my life, this is so cool. I cannot wait for October to get here. By then I should be fine :) Anyway, talk to you later.
*** I came back to edit because I just had to say, I am SO happy right now. I know that I am not at goal, but dropping 37lbs has made me feel like a completely different person. I am excited about life for the first time. I can't wait to enjoy my new life.
2/15/06
Well yesterday was the dreaded day to make single people feel bad, I did get candy, but gave it away or threw it away. I didn't have a bite. I was so proud of myself, but the consequences if I did just wasn't worth it. I can't believe Tuesday will make my two months, I am sad because I won't hit my mini goal of an additional 30, but I have revised my mini goal, I want to lose 81lbs by 4/21, that is my four month anniversary. I haven't stopped my exercise or proper eating, but I am not going to demand so much because the weight is going to come off, I just have to have patience. The BAF board starts a "Serious Protein Train" so tonight I am going to go shopping and plan all of my meals for the next two weeks. I am looking forward to it I know I will be successful. Well, on 2/21 I will weigh again, wish me luck.
2/19/06
Well, Tuesday makes 2 months since my new birthday! Because I knew that my monthly would be on by then, which I was right its already here (sorry guys) I weighed myself on Friday, I was down another 8 which brings my total to 45lbs! Which also FINALLY got me out of the 300's THANK GOD I am official 292. I never thought I would be happy to see that number, hell I never thought I would get back to it on the path I was going. Its not the number that I wanted it to be, however, when could I have ever lost 45lbs this fast? So I have stopped complaining and started rejoicing that I am doing the damn thing. I would like to thank the BAF board for the love. I tell you having online support has made this journey a little easier, being able to talk to people who have taken this road before me and reading/hearing their experiences I think has eased a lot of my fears. Anywho, I have just finished prepping all of my food for the week. I start the serious protein train with the board tomorrow and I am ready to take it to the next level. Talk to you soon.
2/21/06
HAPPY TWO MONTH ANNIVERSARY! I made it and I haven't killed anyone or fell by the way side. I am celebrating my 45lb loss and embarking on the next 36lbs to get me half way to goal. I am on the BAF protein train right now and I am doing well. Staying under 20g of carbs a day for the next two weeks, lots of water and exercise! I think I will really boost my weightloss, looking forward to the end result. Anywho, I have to take my two month pic today, I took one this morning, but my dress is so big iI had to have it safety pinned in the back to keep the dress looking half way decent. Anywho I am very pleased so far and I am looking forward to what March will bring. Talk to you soon.
2/27/06
I am down 53lbs ya'll!!! The protein train has helped me out so so so much! It kicked my weight loss into high gear and I am so so so so so happy. I just wanted to share! One more week on the protein train wish me luck!.
2/28/06
Today is the last day of February and what a month it has been. I went from 300lbs on 2/7 to 284 as of 2/26. I am very happy. I am able to fit in size 14 shirts again. The one I bought for 4.99 in Ross it fits and buttons, but I want to loose may be 5lbs more before I will wear it out, my boobs are too big and I hate the "pop out" effect. I can wear 18 pants and some 16's. Let me just say I feel SO good right now. I look at my body and it just doesn't even seem like this could be the same person from 2.5 months ago. I can't believe my three months is almost here. I really think I will make 70lbs, wow, 70lbs in three months I would have never thought that would be possible. Anywho, talk to you soon.
Well, hello all! Just to bring you up-to-date. I haven't been on the scale again :). This morning I decided to venture to the back of the closest and try on a size 18 outfit I haven't been able to wear since last summer. I was really nervous. I looked at the skirt and said there is no way I am able to wear this yet, so I pulled out a back up outfit. So I tried on the skirt and OMG it fit, I tried on the shirt and OMG it fit too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am back in my size 18's!!! This is great. Once my 18's get to big I am screwed, because that's the smallest size in my closet. Either way, I am very VERY happy that I can wear this outfit again. It feels SO good to fit back into my clothes. Anywho, I just wanted to share my happy moment. I woke up early today so I worked out this morning and I plan on working out tonight too. Anyway, Tuesday I go for my six week follow up, so I am hoping to drop four more pounds by then. Wish me luck.
2/3/06
Today was a WOW day. This afternoon, one of my coworkers as we were going to meeting said, "dang it seems like you are losing weight everyday" I felt so good that someone that see me everyday and is male noticed a change, and then I had another male coworker tell me you can definately see the change in your face, you look so much smaller. Talking about wanting to blush, but I felt so good to get two compliments in one day. Well, thats all I had to say, hopefully Tuesday will be a good day. I'll holla back at you later.
2/9/06
Well, lets update shall we, I went to see Dr O on 2/7 and I was down 37lbs, awwww I really wanted to be down 40, but either way, atleast I am going down and not up. He was very pleased with my progress and I don't have to see him again until 4/25. That gives me a little over 2.5 months to drop 44lbs to reach half of my goal which is 81lbs. I KNOW that I can do this. I just have to keep up the exercise, water and protein. So I will keep you updated with my progress. I now seem to have an issue with eating on time, I really REALLY need to a rountine down so I can keep up on everything. I ventured to the back of the closest again today and I am wearing an outfit I haven't been able to rock since like mid summer last year. This really makes me feel good, right now I am sitting at my desk full as I can be right now. I had some taco seasoned lean ground beef with cheese and fat free sour cream. OOHHHH WEEE Im sleepy. The big plus is I found someone to be my roommate on the BAF cruise so I am very excited about going on a cruise for the first time in my life, this is so cool. I cannot wait for October to get here. By then I should be fine :) Anyway, talk to you later.
*** I came back to edit because I just had to say, I am SO happy right now. I know that I am not at goal, but dropping 37lbs has made me feel like a completely different person. I am excited about life for the first time. I can't wait to enjoy my new life.
2/15/06
Well yesterday was the dreaded day to make single people feel bad, I did get candy, but gave it away or threw it away. I didn't have a bite. I was so proud of myself, but the consequences if I did just wasn't worth it. I can't believe Tuesday will make my two months, I am sad because I won't hit my mini goal of an additional 30, but I have revised my mini goal, I want to lose 81lbs by 4/21, that is my four month anniversary. I haven't stopped my exercise or proper eating, but I am not going to demand so much because the weight is going to come off, I just have to have patience. The BAF board starts a "Serious Protein Train" so tonight I am going to go shopping and plan all of my meals for the next two weeks. I am looking forward to it I know I will be successful. Well, on 2/21 I will weigh again, wish me luck.
2/19/06
Well, Tuesday makes 2 months since my new birthday! Because I knew that my monthly would be on by then, which I was right its already here (sorry guys) I weighed myself on Friday, I was down another 8 which brings my total to 45lbs! Which also FINALLY got me out of the 300's THANK GOD I am official 292. I never thought I would be happy to see that number, hell I never thought I would get back to it on the path I was going. Its not the number that I wanted it to be, however, when could I have ever lost 45lbs this fast? So I have stopped complaining and started rejoicing that I am doing the damn thing. I would like to thank the BAF board for the love. I tell you having online support has made this journey a little easier, being able to talk to people who have taken this road before me and reading/hearing their experiences I think has eased a lot of my fears. Anywho, I have just finished prepping all of my food for the week. I start the serious protein train with the board tomorrow and I am ready to take it to the next level. Talk to you soon.
2/21/06
HAPPY TWO MONTH ANNIVERSARY! I made it and I haven't killed anyone or fell by the way side. I am celebrating my 45lb loss and embarking on the next 36lbs to get me half way to goal. I am on the BAF protein train right now and I am doing well. Staying under 20g of carbs a day for the next two weeks, lots of water and exercise! I think I will really boost my weightloss, looking forward to the end result. Anywho, I have to take my two month pic today, I took one this morning, but my dress is so big iI had to have it safety pinned in the back to keep the dress looking half way decent. Anywho I am very pleased so far and I am looking forward to what March will bring. Talk to you soon.
2/27/06
I am down 53lbs ya'll!!! The protein train has helped me out so so so much! It kicked my weight loss into high gear and I am so so so so so happy. I just wanted to share! One more week on the protein train wish me luck!.
2/28/06
Today is the last day of February and what a month it has been. I went from 300lbs on 2/7 to 284 as of 2/26. I am very happy. I am able to fit in size 14 shirts again. The one I bought for 4.99 in Ross it fits and buttons, but I want to loose may be 5lbs more before I will wear it out, my boobs are too big and I hate the "pop out" effect. I can wear 18 pants and some 16's. Let me just say I feel SO good right now. I look at my body and it just doesn't even seem like this could be the same person from 2.5 months ago. I can't believe my three months is almost here. I really think I will make 70lbs, wow, 70lbs in three months I would have never thought that would be possible. Anywho, talk to you soon.
About Me
Chicago, IL
Location
35.4
BMI
Surgery
12/21/2005
Surgery Date
Oct 31, 2005
Member Since
