mslenamaria

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Well I am still feeling good. Real good. I have been working out everyday except sunday. I now can walk a mile. woo woo.. so happy. I weigh 270 now. WOW I am so excited to type that number. I am eating better and more variety. I am also really doing well on liquid. I now can drink 70 ounces of water/liquid in a day with no problem. I drink 32 ounces just during my morning workout. 

I am ready to go back to work. I start back on November 1st. Its almost time to get into that uniform and get back. I am excited.

I am getting around better and feeling great!

I have been feeling good. No more throwing up. 6 times since my surgery is plenty. I am having a problem eating slowly. I do not get enough water in. But still I am feeling good. I have been going to the gym 3 times a week or more. Makes me feel more productive. I cant wait to get back to work. I am going back on November 1st. Excited but fearful that I will not eat right or drink right. Ugh graveyards are difficult. I have lost pretty good these last weeks. I am happy but getting very loose arms ewww. so gross. I hate that they arent tightening up. I am really working them hard but not much changes. 

Flappy arms flappy arm why are you taunting me.. (sung to smelly cat song) lol 

My fiance' has been so supportive. He is very happy to see me losing weight. Our sex life is not suffering any that is for sure!!  woo woo.

My family is doing so well they are all so very happy for me. I love it.

No more depression. No more crying and yelling. Just happier. 

I had my 6 week check up yesterday. I hadnt weighed myself in over a week since I was getting very frustrated. I have been 304 for 3 weeks up two pounds down one pound down two up one.. ugh! so I quit weighing. So I was looking forward to being UNDER 300 at this appt. Well no such luck. I stood on that stupid ugly piece of metal and it said 3 0 0. 0. DAMN it! I cried. I was very upset. My bestest told me that without the jeans I was wearing I would probably be under 300. but that doesnt make the number on that paper change now. UGH so disappointing. The PA told me to check at home because sometimes the scales are different and may make me feel better. So at home I am 296.4. woo woo. Still wish it would have said at least 299.

Okay.. Since my surgery we, my fiance and I have taken over full custody of his nine year old.  Wow what a change in my life. I am doing all the mommy duties. School shopping, making lunches, breakfasts, dinners, setting out clothes and homework. I am trying to still focus on me, but, that is difficult when our lives revolve around him. He is the best little guy I feel very lucky. But I have slacked off on the Water and Protein I also find myself biting or eating stuff I shouldnt.  I get up so early and not sleeping very good not eating enough and then not drinking nearly the amount of water i should have. Okay I am going to get back on track for me and that is it.. 

Thanks  for all the support from all of you. 

It happened... ugh. Yesterday I ate a chicken breast well about 1/4 of one and no problem. No nausea nada.  Well today last night I thought cool I will have a piece of broasted chicken, tear it apart and eat it. BAD idea. I took about two bites. and it felt awful like it was stuck. That feeling sucks. I chewed gum and tried to wait it out. Well I spit out the gum and then ewwwww. it happened I yacked big time. Not fun. My nine yr old stepson just stood there as I puked in the trashcan. UGH. I felt so gross. I didnt eat anything else just water for the rest of the day. 

Today i am scared to eat i tried a shake and i will try some cottage cheese later  scary

Everyday It does seem to be getting easier. I still have insane cravings when we are driving I just want to jump from the vehicle and grab the drive thru girl and shake her til a double cheeseburger falls out. lol I really want popcorn at the movies. UGH. But it is getting easier. I think getting to puree's has really helped. but I still was not getting the protein in. I bought some stuff at Costco. Body Choice Liquid protein 20 grams of protein in 3 oz of liquid. ??? ehh give it a try. I am eating better still have trouble drinking enough water, except tonight soooo thirsty so I am drinking every 5 mins exactly. I really have been all over this site people are so helpful. Oh yeah and today my boyfriend and I bought a membership to 24 hr fitness. DANG expensive but I hope worth it. As soon as I can walk I will be on that treadmill. Until then I will be in the pool as much as possible. YEAH. I am actually excited about working out lol that cracks me up. I am looking forward to loosing more weight only 6 pounds until under 300 YES!! cant wait.

    I am just two days short of two weeks. I am starting to feel better but seriously mourning food and my old lifestyle. I went to the movies oh my that was a stupid idea. The popcorn smelled slapped me in the face. I sat there wanting to just kill someone. I wanted that popcorn NOW! It was bad. then my fiancee wanted to go out I was so not feeling it. We had a big fight over the old me the new me... UGH. so hard to deal with all these feelings. I am sad and hungry for something that tastes good. This all liquid is not cutting it. Just keep telling myself it is going to be better someday.

Okay. . . I have been told I should tell my "story" to help others and myself.  So here goes.. Well how far do you start back.

I guess it would be when I actually started to feel overweight. It was not until high school. I was in tall flags and rifles band auxillary. I was told I should not tryout since I am SO FAT. I was shocked. I turned around and made Captain the next year. (hah so there)  The little skirts in size 18 were unheard of but I made it work. 

I never let my weight bother me.  During my high school years and younger I had lots of problems with my menstrual cycle. It was awful I went to the hospital more then once with severe hemmoraging. Several doctors told me it was my weight. All the problems were due to my obesity. WRONG! I had cancer. Endometrial Cancer that was not detected until I was 19 years old. I prob had it for several years. It was overlooked because of my weight. My Doctor tried to save my fertility by using aggressive hormone therapy. 500 mg of estrogen three times a day. I gained 80 pounds in four months. On top of already being overweight. It was devastating. After one year of this garbage they determine that it didnt work. I had a hysterectomy at 20 years old.  I survived!

I began working as a police/fire dispatcher/911 operator. It is a great career. It is high stress and alot of sitting on your butt. I started gaining More weight. I also am a Karaoke host. I have been hosting for years and I love it. I have met most of my friends doing karaoke. We love singing it is good for the soul. I never thought about my weight (except for the occasional not fitting in the booth or something). I always performed on stage and had a great time. I even won Karaoke host of the year 2005! It was a great honor. 

In November.. Well November 21st to be exact. I was involved in a horrible car accident. My best friend was driving and we were hit head on multiple times. I lost my best friend. She passed away. She was...is my angel. She wanted me to have this surgery long ago.  I was injured pretty bad. I was airlifted and spent more than nine weeks in the hospital. Broken ribs fractured sturnum compressed lung 85% bruised over my body, DVT, and broken femur in two places. I am still rehab'ing the leg. I had this surgery so that I CAN walk soon. With my weight and the injury my healing has been slow. 

I am looking forward to walking, loosing weight and spending my life with my friends, family and fiancee.