msnikky

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Ok so I sure have not been on here for quite some time.  At least not posting anything for a while.  I have to admit, I am so glad I had this surgery.  I have had the most amazing time so far.  It has been so great.  I went for my surgery on October 26th 2009.  It was a breeze  Well not quite a breeze.  I don't mean that in a bad way.  Lets just face it surgery is surgery.  It's never a breeze.  Well anyway,  I came in at 5:00 in the morning.  I had to get a IVC filter put in so that was my first stop.  I went up to have it put in.  I thought to my self as I laid there on the table and the doctor was shaving my "cookie"; I was so embarrased.  They had to cut into my main artery in my groin to put the filter in my Vena Cava.  It was over pretty fast though.  I was happy with that.  They took me back to the surgical procedure area with my family in tow.  We waited for a few more minutes.  I was kinda out of it.  I guess from the little bit of medicine they gave me for the filter.  Then they took me up to the surgery prep & holding area.  When it was my turn they wheeled me into the OR and the nurses were all nice.  They slid me over onto a little bitty ass table.  Sorry for the language.  I thought I was going to fall off the table or that it would break or something.  I did like the soft gel stuff they had on the arms and legs part of the table.  The next thing I know a nurse came over and said Dr. Irgau would be right in and boom I was out.  That medicine must have been the bomb diggity.  There wasn't even any notice.  It was just like I was talking and then thats it.  Now to even further tell you how great the medicine was; I don't even remember coming out of surgery.  The next thing I remember is about 9:00 pm that night.  My surgery was at 5:00 that morning yall.  That's a hot mess.  That was some really good medicine.  So I felt like I had been ran over by a semi when I finally came out of that medicine.  I couldn't believe it was over.  I had a drill seargant with me named Tess   my sister.  She kept yelling at me to get up and we are going to walk.  The darn nurses had told her that it was best for me to walk once I wake up.  Boy why did they tell her that.  It seemed like every couple of hours I either was getting up to use the bathroom because the had so much fluids running in me or my sister was saying get up and walk.  OOOHHHHH she got on my nerves.  It was cool though.  I think it was because of her making me walk that I am here where I am now.  I stayed in the hospital for 2 days and when I left the hospital I was walking really great.  I only took the pain medicine for 2 more days after that.  When halloween came along 3 days after getting out of the hospital I was able to walk 2 miles with my kids trick or treating.  It was wonderful.  So now I've lost 59 pounds it's not 3 months yet and I only have 57 pounds to make it to my original weight of 130 lbs.  The only problem is I don't want to be that little.  I was thinking it would look nice and I would technically be still over weight but now I'm 187 and I wear a small womens top and size 14 pants.  I guess a size 8 pants and small top would be nice.  I got a size medium scrubs and the pants were able to fit but I would rather them be a little baggier.  It's just a smigden to tight in the thighs.  I have always carried my weight well and now it doesn't look like I am the size that I am.  Every body keeps saying it doesn't look like I'm 187 pounds.  I should not be in a medium clothes but the sizes don't lie. 

OK so I haven't posted anything on here for some time now.  I guess I was still upset about that DARN   psychologist.  Well let me give y'all an update.  I saw the therapist because of  the Darn  psychologist; and you know what,  it wasn't half bad.  She is a darling of a lady.I really enjoy talking with her.  For some reason she has a nack for making you feel so good when you walk out the door.  It's not one of the stuffy sessions where you do all the talking and they just listen.  She actually talks back to me.   So I've been seeing her now for about 4 weeks.  Just in case anybody needs a good therapist.  Her name is Jacque Cowen-Hughes.  She's in the Omega Professional Center, building J suite 25 above Women's Imaging.  That's across from the Christiana Hospital.   Since then i started my life skills classes.  The very first one was on August 12Th.  Let me tell you I was so nervous.I actually made myself sick.  Part of my problem was I had gone commando on this weight loss stuff and had lost 8 pounds before life skills.  Then i find out that I have to either loose or maintain my weight during this class.   I was worried that I would not be able to loose any more weight because the last couple of days I kept going back and forth a pound or two.  What if, when it was time to get weighed again I was up the two pounds, will they kick me out and all of this has been for nothing???  I was an emotional wreck and totally paranoid.  I must say though once I got over the initial weigh in I did feel a little better.  To my surprise I was 234 pounds.  Y'all I started off at 244.    I lost 10 pounds just by eating the way I'm supposed to eat after the surgery.  Now, in the back of my mind I'm thinking don't gain, don't gain, don't gain.   I did meet a wonderful guy there and I think we will be good friends.  He's so funny.  Chris if your reading this; Thanks,  you really helped me through these classes, I'm sure more than you know.   So now we are in class.  I'm sure this happens in every class.  There was this guy.  I swear he could not shut up.  I'm sitting there thinking, please.......please.....please....somebody say something.   He talked so much even the speaker for the day was getting annoyed.  The problem is he didn't even realize it.  I felt so bad for him on one hand then the other I was so annoyed  Have you guys ever been around someone who just can't stop them selves from talking.  The speaker would say something and you can best believe he had a comment.  Yeah a comment.  Not a question but a comment or some story about what ever the speaker said.  I thought OMG I have 3 of these classes to go.  Any way that was very grueling.  But I MADE IT .  It actually turned out to be a great experience.  So the last class was upon me.  I took the dreaded elevator up to the second floor, stood in line.  My turn was up to step on the scale.  I slowly took off my sneakers and told the girl my name. .............WHAM!!!!!  It hit me like a ton of bricks.....230.....And the crowd cheered.   I was soooooo siked....230.... how could anything end any better. I passed my life skills test with an awesome 100 .   My menu planning paper came back absolutely correct along with the food diary that I had handed in the week prior.  I left that class with my chest poked out so far I couldn't even see my feet.  Oh well maybe that's because I'm fat,  but...... not for long baby!!  I can't wait.   I MADE IT!   Now just an easy coast to October 26Th,  and I'm sort of home free.  That is until I wake up in the hospital and my surgery is done.  Then the real work starts.      Oh yeah and about that DARN psychologist.....    She did at least give me my MD clearance date.....soooooo I guess she isn't so bad after all.

I went to see the psychologist and the Nurse Practitioner on Wednesday.  The appointment with the Nurse Practitioner went very well.  I was upset because she talked about my weight.  Then she said she would get the psychologist for my next appointment.  I sat with her and she started talking about all kinds of things.  Really touchy family situations.  I just broke down crying.  I was so upset I didn't know what to do.  Once it was all over she said she was not going to give me the appointment for the endocrinologist.  I was devastated.  I have to see a shrink and possibly get on medication before she will refer me on.  She also said I would not be able to get my surgery until October instead of September.   I was so upset I left there crying.  Then something amazing happened.  I got on OH and put up a post, I hate the Psychologist.  I had some very nice replies to the post and my OH family made me feel better about what was happening.  I actually left the site feeling much better and thinking it was probably the best thing for me.

06/09/09 - I'm about 3 months out from surgery.  I've gotten approval from the cardiologist, pulmonologist and the vascular doctors since I have a history of blood clots.  I have 3 more nutrition classes to take and I have to see the endocrinologist and the psych doctors.  I hope all goes well.  I am so looking forward to getting this surgery.  I think it will really help me.  I am so depressed.