Pre-op today, 7 more days until surgery!!!

Nov 03, 2009

Hi all.  I've been trying to keep myself busy lately and not focus on husband gone and surgery on 11/10. The excitement of the surgery is actually helping with missing my husband though.  I am also busy trying to keep my son straight as his daddy is gone.  I don't know what or why it is, but he gets out of line in school when his daddy is away.  I discipline him, I show him extra attention...I don't know how to solve it.  I just know I need to get a hold of it now, because being a military family daddy being gone is a constant throughout the year.  It's weird, today I tried the act up in school so no outside, no tv, video games and you do more homework and chores and I made him take a nap when he got home after his snack....well he is still asleep.  Imagine that...I kep checking on him to make sure he is ok, but I guess he needed it.  The Lord knows what he is doing, so I will pray for peace and let it go.

As for my pre-op appt, it went smoothly.  I dont know why but I am always expecting other ppl to be so excited.  They are excited for me thats for sure, then I think "so you think I am fat?".  But you know I was thinking today.  No one has ever treated me wrongly around me since I have been an adult about being overweight.  It's weird b/c we think all is staring and talking about you and my self esteem has def suffered due to obesity...but all in all I have not been mistreated by anyone.  So then I began to realize I am the one who has mistreated myself.  I am the one who has degraded myself to thinking everyone is staring and talking about me  Now these thoughts also went along with me thinking I need to also get "behind" the obesity in a mental/emotional way along with the physical changes I am making.  They say the mental/emotional is the hardest.  I dont want to go to a therapist so I am going to use this OH blog as an outlet.  I believe it will help.

So again with the pre-op appt...there was a bit of a mix up with my surgery date.  They told me 11/10, but they had me down for 11/5...yes 2 days away!!!! Sounded good, but I have been organizing everything for the 10th, the 5th just would not work.  As much as I want the skinny to start, I have to not rush this and put everyone, includng myself, in a mad rush. I still need to finish spring cleaning my house before my friend comes to watch over me for a week.   So with that fixed, I did some bld work so they could know my bld type incase of a transfusion is needed, took a UA with a preg test (i was praying I wasnt) and I did an EKG.  They said that was normal.  I also met with the Anesthesiaolgist who was really acted like he was very overworked and uninterested.  I didnt let it bother me though, not everyone is going to be excited in this journey.

Oh yeah I got a call from my grandma today.  Grandma doesnt call anyone.  I wasnt so surprised she called, but I knew it had to do with the surgery.  My mom, aunts and uncle are all against me having it.  I must admit it didnt even phase me too much to hear them say " no you shouldnt have it".  Thats the good thing about being grown.  I'm grown now.  I listen and I evaluate and I pray...and I go bout MY way.  What got me though was they were against it, but not a one did any research on the procedure, they didnt even ask me about the procedure or the journey. And get this, they are all obese 300+. I just smiled and changed the subject.  I love them to death, but I dont want it to be my death...you feel me.

Luv ya'll...Niki

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