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I am absolutely astonished at my weight loss so far.  I never thought it would come off this fast!  I've lost 20 pounds in 21 days, and when added to what I lost pre-op, I am just about halfway to my goal of losing 120 pounds!!  I'm so excited that I can't stop smiling.  I bought a new pair of jeans a couple weeks ago and I just can't stop looking in the full length mirror every time I put them on!!  They actually fit me, no sagging butt or baggy legs!!  I went back to work this week and everyone at work has noticed a big difference. I've never had so many compliments!!  God has really blessed me with this surgery.   Our 21st wedding anniversary is tomorrow.  I can't go out for a nice fancy dinner right now but I thank God every day for my wonderful husband who has been behind me all the way on this journey and was my greatest source of support. 

I did it!  I made it through my surgery and I feel so good about myself.  I LIKE being on this loser's bench!  They kicked me out of the hospital on Wednesday.  It was a tough night last night because I kept waking up and I had a lot of pain in my lower back.  I'm pretty sure that's from lying/sitting down too much while in the hospital.  I'm still waiting for it to feel like they did surgery on my stomach!!  I have almost no pain.  One of my incisions is a little tender, but that's it!  This is unbelievable!  I never expected it to be like this.  Of course, I always think the worst, so this is such a pleasant surprise.  They already took me off 2 of the 3 BP meds I was on, which I thought was pretty cool!  I had a fun time crushing my other stuff that I have to take.  Boy, will I be glad when we can swallow pills again, some of that stuff is downright nasty when crushed!!  I am just so happy to now be a "post-op" and can't wait for the results to start showing!

Well, it's REALLY official now.  In yesterday's mail was my approval for the surgery from Harvard Pilgrim.  They are the best insurance company we've ever had.  Exactly one month from today I will be laying in a hospital bed and will be on the losing side.  I can't believe it.  I feel so blessed because I did not have to wait very long for many things to happen.  I started this journey last December and have read so many horror stories about insurance companies, appeals, doctors who weren't supportive, etc.  So, on September 18th, I start the 2 week liquid diet.  I called my mom last night and asked for a beef stew dinner my last weekend of eating.  I hope September just flies by!

WOO HOO, I HAVE A DATE!!  The call came today.  They still are waiting for insurance approval, but I don't think it's going to be a problem.  October 2, 2006 I will be on the losing side.  I was so excited I could barely work this afternoon!!  I called my parents and my sister and told everyone on the floor who has been waiting for me to get the date.  Words can't express how happy I am right now.  I am so ready to have this done and start losing. 

Today is the day I've been waiting for.  I finally got to have my appointment with the surgeon, which means that within a couple of weeks they should be calling me with a date that they tell me will be approximately 4-6 weeks from today.  It's almost here and I'm so excited!!  I've lost 21 pounds since starting this diet, just cutting way down on calories and exercising more than I've ever exercised before.  It's so good to get this weight off and I can't imagine how good it will feel to get another 80-100 pounds off of me.  I'm actually starting to feel good about myself whereas in the past, I just thought of myself as fat and ugly.  I can't wait to get my new "birthdate"!!

Well, guess I should update on stuff from above.  I had my cardiac catheterization on June 26th.  I was petrified but everything was fine, no blockages.  A week later I went for the CT scan of my kidney to find out what the spot was that they saw on my gallbladder ultrasound.  That turned out to be nothing as well.  I ended up rescheduling my June 30th knee surgery.  It took them 4 tries and lots of pain to get the IV in for the cardiac cath 4 days earlier and I absolutely refused to go through that twice in the same week.  Now, though, I really wish I'd kept the surgery date as my knee is killing me and I just want it done.  The doc was on vacation for 2 weeks in July so my surgery was rescheduled to August 4th. Two more weeks of this pain, not sure if I can stand it!!  My 45th birthday came and went.  Didn't feel any different.  My boss made me a cheesecake with Splenda and replaced the graham cracker crust with a walnut crust to lower the carbs.  It was fantastic!!  I had one small piece and normally I would've gone back for seconds but I controlled myself!!  I've done so well on this pre-op diet that there's no way I'm going to put any of the 20 that I've lost back on.  I'm just sitting here waiting for August 8th when I get to see the doc at the sleep lab.  It's my very last appointment before seeing the surgeon.  I had a sleep study done 4 years ago but didn't get a machine because I cannot sleep with something attached to my face.  The surgeon wants a followup visit with the sleep lab, but I'm not sure what he can possibly tell by meeting with me for 15-20 minutes, after I saw him once in the past 4 years, and I'm not even sure it's the same doc I saw 4 years ago.  I hope to God he believes me when I tell him that my husband told me that since I've lost the 20 pounds, I don't snore like I used to and I don't stop breathing.  In addition, whenever I would try to sleep on my back, I would wake up gasping for air.  Since losing the 20 pounds, I am able to sleep on my back with no problems.  I also sleep through the night now, which I never did.  I woke up constantly.  I'm praying he doesn't want another sleep study as they are booking months out right now and my surgery will be delayed by that long.  I'm praying he takes my word for it, but I have my doubts.  Nothing ever goes simply in my life!!

Well, I'm really bummed right now.  It has been a whirlwind of tests for the past 2 weeks and I'm exhausted, but it's not over yet. Beginning June 12th, I had an MRI for my knee pain, and it was as I expected, a torn meniscus, like I had in the other knee 2 years ago.  They scheduled me for surgery on June 30th.  Wednesday, June 14th was my gallbladder ultrasound which was required by the bariatric program.  Thursday, my PCP's office called to say that my gallbladder was fine, but there is a spot on my kidney, which she thinks is just a cyst or a benign tumor, but she scheduled me for a CT scan on Monday, June 26th.  Then on Monday, June 19th, I had my stress test, also required by the bariatric program.  On Thursday, I had a call from my cardiologist's office to come in and discuss the results, which I knew could not be good.  Sure enough, the test came back abnormal and now I'm scheduled for a cardiac catheterization on Monday June 26th, which means my CT scan for the kidney is going to be rescheduled.  And to top off my week, my PCP's office has been calling the sleep lab where I had my sleep study done 4 years ago because the program wants me to have a follow up with the doctor.  They called every day for a week and left messages and no one would return the calls.  Finally, on Friday they reached them and they told my PCP that they couldn't fit me in until August 8th.  Well, I already had my appt. with the surgeon for the WLS scheduled for July 13th, but he will not see me until I've had this followup.  I would have received a surgery date after my surgeon's appointment, so now everything is pushed out by a month, which really pissed me off.  I know that it's a good thing that these health problems were discovered so that there will be no problems with the surgery, but I was so happy that I completed all the program's required testing and lost the required 10 pounds (I lost 19 actually!) in a record amount of time, and now this happens.  I was so hoping for an August surgery date.  After all this, they're getting to know me on a first name basis at the hospital!!

Today I had my appointment with the surgical nurse, Susan.  She was very pleased at how quickly I had accomplished everything on my To Do list, but as I expected, things went much too smoothly up until this point.  She asked me if I still had my gallbladder and when I said yes, she asked me why I hadn't had an ultrasound yet, and the answer was because it was not checked off as being required.  She apologized and said that was her fault because she should've caught that.  Oh well, that won't delay things too much.  I called my PCP's office to set it up and as always, they called me back within an hour of my calling to schedule it.  I swear I have the greatest PCP ever!!  So, that is scheduled for next Wednesday.  I did get my appointment scheduled with the surgeon, for July 26th.  I'm very excited about that, because after the surgeon's appointment, I get a surgery date.  We're looking at August hopefully, assuming Harvard Pilgrim quickly sends an approval.   I also lost 2 more pounds when they weighed me since I was there last week, so I've dropped a total of 19 pounds so far.  This is good because they only require you to lose 10 pounds so if I should gain a pound or two, I still have those extra pounds to play with and it won't go against me.  I certainly am hungry though!  Everyone keeps asking me why I can't just keep doing what I'm doing to lose the weight.  I told them that they have no idea how badly I want to buy a supersized bag of potato chips and just eat the whole thing!!!  I couldn't possibly live like this with a regular sized stomach!  Eventually, I would get so hungry that I would go on a binge and undo everything I've done.  I really need this surgery to help me in my weight loss and it looks like it will be coming soon.

Well, this was a really, really good day!  Our monthly meeting at DHMC was held today.  I was very excited to get to this meeting because I was pretty sure I'd lost the 15 pounds, or darn close to it, required by the program.  In addition, this was my third meeting and you are required to attend a minimum of 3 meetings before you can meet with the dietician and surgeon, AND I got a call from DHMC on Thursday that the rest of the requirements on my checklist were done.  So, I really wanted to get on that scale.  At the last 2 meetings, I was weighed at the end of the meeting.  I arrived a little earlier than usual and they were weighing people before the meeting started, so I hopped on. To my great disappointment, I had lost only 11 pounds on their scale.  So, I just told myself that it was only 4 more pounds and I could do that pretty quickly.  I sat down for the meeting and as always it was very informative.  They started with a presentation of what is involved before having your surgery and they went over their program requirements.  I almost jumped out of my seat when up on the screen it said "10 pound weight loss requirement" and the speaker proceeded to tell us that they changed the requirement from 10 to 15.  I couldn't believe it.  I was so happy that I went home and called everyone I could think of after the meeting!!  I am now ready to meet with the dietician, then the surgeon and then I'll get a date.  I can't believe how quickly all of this has happened.   There's a good possibility I could have this surgery sometime in July and my birthday is in July.  Wouldn't that be something to start my new life on my own birthday!!

This was a pretty good week.  I was able to get my psych eval scheduled for May 2nd.  I was surprised to get an appointment that soon, I thought sure it would be weeks until I could see someone!  Then on Friday, I had my 6 month checkup with my cardiologist, who treats me for hypertension.  I wasn't sure what to expect from him.  He's been seeing me for over 10 years and I've been overweight all that time.  He really pissed me off a couple of years ago.  I had become very sedentary and did not do much exercise at all.  I decided to join Curves and was having a good time there and I was so proud of myself for getting off my butt and getting some exercise.  I saw him after I'd started at Curves and the first words out his mouth were "none of my patients have done very well at Curves".  Geez, thanks for the encouragement, huh???  Well, I told him about the surgery on Friday and he was ecstatic about it.  I don't think I've ever had such a good appointment with him as this one.  We discussed it for a long time and we joked and laughed.  He's usually a very jovial doctor anyway, but this time I came out of that appointment feeling really good, AND I scheduled the stress test.  So, once those 2 things are out of the way and I lost the 7 pounds I have left to lose of the 15 I'm required to lose, I'll get to meet with the dietician and then the surgeon at Dartmouth Hitchcock.  I just get more and more excited about this surgery every day!  I bought a pair of pants for work that were a size smaller than I usually wear, and that really made me happy too!