Amanda M.
Got my surgery date - yeah!!!
Oct 17, 2012
Last Friday I found out my appeal went through and my insurance company overturned their denial. I was so excited!!! I called up the insurance handler at my surgeon's office and she got me into see my surgeon for my pre-op consultation right away this Monday. I scheduled my surgery for December 21, first surgery of the day! I feel so impatient, but yet completely calm at the same time. I am excited and scared and 76 other things all at once.Now that the surgery is scheduled, it feels more real to me. I am starting to feel a bit nervous and scared. Not so much that I can't give up the food or whatever, but I am just worried that I will be one of the people that has a miserable life afterward. I have this fear that if I don't sit or walk in a certain way, or if I jump or do anything active, my body will just open up and my intestines will fall out! LOL. I know it is ridiculous. But I feel like I should baby my incisions, internal too, after surgery forever and ever. It's just a really extreme surgery and that is kind of scary to me.
I also worry about what my husband is going to think. I am scared he will be grossed out by me. What if I vomit a lot? What if I have a lot of excess skin? What if I have stretch marks (even worse)? What if all my hair falls out? Will he still love me? Or on the other hand...what if I lose weight and look fantastic...will he get jealous, or uneasy with my new appearance? Will he feel forgotten, since we often had pig out sessions together? Eating was a common bond we had, sadly, and I worry that he will have resentment towards me. And what if he seems more interested in me? What if he pays more attention to me and compliments me more? How will I feel? I sometimes worry that he will see me smaller and think that I look so much better. And since I have always been obese with him, it might make me feel like he never liked me the way I am now or that he always wanted something better.
Anyone else have these really intense thoughts after getting a surgery date? Or am I nutty?
