penthilisea

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The fibromyalgia has been a real trial but I was working hard to lose the weight until... I fell off my horse and fractured my L1. So all summer I sat on my butt and watched dvd's and bad tv and played online. It tripled my pain level, and I had to deal with docs who didn't get that.
I've been throwing up pretty regularly since June when I stopped my cymbalta and switched to lexapro. On the plus side, the lexapro worked from day 1, no more suicidal thoughts etc. Hurray!
But the vomiting is intolerable. Its random. No dependant on what I eat, or when, or when I takle OTC ulcer meds, nada. So tomorow I am scheduled for an colonoscopy/endoscopy. So today is surgery prep. Drinking a gallon of cold boring liquid. It doesn;t taste nearly as bad as I expected. Or maybe I didn't mix it well enough and the end stuff will be horrid. We shall see.

My mom had her her lap band, she's doing great, just needs more exercise. She also hurt her back, so she just finished PT, so now she can use that time to walk or join a gym or whatever.

The end. Wish me luck.

Ok, confession first: I weight 183 right now.

I hate seeing that number on the scale. I hated seeing 173 and 163. I had been hovering between 145 and 153 for ages, and then WHAM!

I got hit with the Fibromyalgia stick. In other words, I felt exhausted all the time, had incredibly bad PMS that left me crying and screaming at people, and in constant pain. In addition I changed jobs from a standing walking one to an adminsitrative desk job. Although the desk job brings benefits and salary (wwoooo!!), I can definetly say it has hurt my ability to stay fit.

Oddly enough, I weighed and ate LESS when I worked at my last job, a coffee shop, surrounded by goodies and stuff. Now at the car dealership I tend to skip meals, or snack too much.

But since my fibro diagnosis I have been working on getting my health back on track. I started Cymbalta, which is helping me regain energy, and I am on a low maintence dose of opiates before bed to help combat pain and insomnia.

What I would really like is a membership to a 24/7 gym near my work, where I could go after work.

Because of the fibro and other life issues (I'm still poor, even on salary) I decided to take a break from my PhD program. I wasn't making the progress I wanted to be, and it seemed like I was going in a different direction then others in my cohort. So a break it is.

What else? My boyfriend is moving in, at long last. My ex husband still contributes to the mortgage, and my mom lives with me as well (and contributes!) My stepfather stays rent free, because he is poor. He would be homeless if we didn't have him with us. It irritates me that my mom won't just divorce him, but I understand she feels bad for him.

My two horses are having a good old time living outside 24/7 in a big 8 acre field about a mile from my house. The barn owner is very nice and understanding when I can't go out for a week or so to see them. The boys don't mind, so long as I bring treats when I show up.

I've been working on learning to cook more. Mostly chicken and high protein pastas, with cheese and veggies. I do ok with carbs, sugar is my nemesis. Luckily I still dump if I eat the wrong stuff!

Well thats my novel, but I figured it was better to tell the truth. I wouldn't say I'm struggling with my weight, just that I have experienced a health set back, and I am working to make changes to reverse the situation.

Yeah. Happy 09!

I weigh 160.8 right now. I wear a size L, 14/16. Healthy aside from unrelated back problems.
Still losing 20-40% of my excess weight per month, so I am happy. I'll reach my goals as time goes by!

Well, I am at 177 and change now. I was stalled for almost two weeks. Was going nuts too. I was excercising, and doing everything right. So instead I stopped protein, stopped exercise, and ate some bad stuff and broke the stall. Bad bad. So today I am back on track with protein ( i never stopped my water or vitamins) and I will try and get the eating back on track tomorow. Been working like crazy, so very tired and cold which makes me want to eat.

11/22/06
Wooo! BMI of 30! I am no longer obese, just overweight! I am down to 180 lbs in 7.75 months, lost 116. I am wearing size 16's, and XL tops from the normal people dept. However I have bought very very few clothes. $$$ issues, even though I have two jobs for a total of 50 hours a week. Still haven't finished the substitute teacher app. What a shocker there.  Saw my Nut the other day, and he siad I was doing amazing but I should supplement my B12. So now I have to find and buy some B12 becuase I can't find the stuff I bought 8 months ago. I found the calcium! Yuck. I am taking the viactiv chewable multivitamin 2 per day, the benefiber + calcium two per day and 78 oz. of water a day, PLUS 2 protein shakes.
I am trying to keep my calories right around 1000 so hopefully I can blow through these last 30 pounds in another three months. I also need to exercise more. I ride 2-3 times a week, but I need to mix it up some and do more cardio I think.  We shall see!

10/5/06
Well 6 months out exactly. Not quite in the century club, but under the 200 mark in Onederland at 199! I am losing about 10 lbs a month now, which is fine with me. My skin is behaving and shrinking away like it should so i am happy with a moderately slow weight loss. I still do 2 protein shakes a day (as my snacks) but I have trouble getting in my three meals.

I spoke at a convention in Piscataway last weekend and I hope to have some pics soon, I wore my contacts and new shirts from LB and looked AWSOME! I am planning a barn wide trail ride for the 22nd, and hopefully a rental horse trail ride with my friend for the 15th. I am ALMOST done with my PhD application- just need to send transcripts. And I am working on my substitute teacher application too. Hopefully I can finish that by the next update!

I have def. lost breast sizes, my shirts are all humongus, but I am not in a financial place to buy new ones. So I wear big shirts. Alas.

9/12/06
Sorry so long since I updated. Today I weighed at 208, thats down 90 lbs in 5 months and change. Once again I am looking for a better job, that pays me the minimum I need. Also in the process of buying a new to me car with AWD so I can get around safely this winter.

I am wearing a size 18 now. I did buy some cute new tops at Lane Bryant for the convention I am speaking at in the end of Sept. I have a lot of pants suddenly- I NEVER had enough pants. I guess I never had enough that all fit at the same time.

Aside from some constipation I am nothaving any issues, getting in all protein, vitamins and liquids. I don't always eat enough, or the right foods, but I try every day to make better choices.

10 lbs to the century club! I had hoped to make it by Oct. 5th, but I am not sure. I have been doing the Leslie Sansone Walk Away The Pounds DVD's, so that might help.

Wish me luck!

7/6/06
It's been a month since I updated here. All is going ok. Problems with my husband, but those aren't WLS related. At leats not much.
New job is going well, aside from flooding out for a few days and having too many employee's = not enough hours.

Had my first few rides and riding lesson, complete with cantering. Boy my leg is too far back and my muscles are GONE but Harvey was very happy to be ridden by me.

I have now lost 59.5 lbs in 3 months, ahead of the expected weight loss curve so far. I weigh 238.5 today, BMI of 39.6- under 40! Yay!

Haven't noticed a tremendous change in my clothes- only in some of my pants from my heaviest weight. I donated about 8 bags of plus sized clothing tothe Fat Girl Flea Market in NYC and this coming weekend I am going to go and buy new to me used clothes there. Seems like a good idea since they won't fit for too long!

That is all.

6/9/06
Well, I offically weight my get back on the horse weight of 250 lbs. All is going well I guess. I am also starting ym new job on Tuesday as a coffee barista. ON my feet all day should def. help my overall activity level - no more desk jobs!

I'm also all set up as an Avon rep. Oh my! Just another excuse to buy more stuff really. It's been really nice working part time or less lately, and just sleeping in and taking it easy. Since I haven't had a vacation since my honeymoon in Jan. of 2005 this is my mini break.

MY BMI by the way has gone from 49.5 (extrmely obese) to 41.6. Still extremely obese, but MUCH MUCH better!

5/29/06
Well, yesterday was my 25th birthday.
We saw two movies (x-men 3 and davinci code) and played badminton.

The day started out very yucky when I tried to mix my protien powder into my soy milk and granola breakfast. I guess I ended up with too much sugar all at once because ti all came back out. Yuck.

So I napped on the couch for a bit, then went out and played badminton with my husband for 20 minutes in the heat- we were both sweaty and gross after that, and puffing, But it was good clean fun exercise! I played the day before too and hopefully when I get home today. Only issue is today I am SO sore! Ouchy.

Between the two movies we snuck over to Ruby Tuesdays for dinner. I had the salad bar, some chopped hard boiled egg, a few cucumbers with bleu cheese dressing and a tiny bite of potato salad.

The heat is really affecting me- I feel pretty nausaus every time I eat. And worst of all, I am at work today.

Ah well, since I figured out my protein shake daily and added the exercise my weight loss had been excellent, Yay.
I am now down to 257 even. Thats 41 lbs down in less then 8 weeks for those of you keeping score at home.

5/17/06
Doing better over all. Not much to report. Current weight is 265.5. As you can see thats 5 lbs in about 2 weeks. I have been losing a LOT on the weekends and nothing during the week. I don't really know why. I am doing ok on protien and liquids and calories and low in refined carbs.

I've been trying lots of new recipes and failing a lot. The best so far is masher cauliflower (very comfort food!) and hi fiber biscuits. I made them too round, more like donut hole shapes. I cut them up and use them as round/crackers for tuna etc. I also realized I am totally lactose intollerant now. SInce I cut all dairy out I haven't had ANY discomfort, so thats good I guess. It is harder to get enough protein in, without cheesey goodness. I did discover the joys of granola so my treat for the day is a half cup. It has 7 grams of protien!

What else... I am back at work full time. Doing ok here, aside from my boss's penchant for browsing explicit websites at his desk, which are totally visable to everyone. So far the hardest part is between 10 and 11 pm. Thats my craving time- I want to stuff my face. I usually let myself have a hi protien snack then, like sliced deli roast beef, or chicken with italian dressing.

I'm frustrated that I'm not losing faster, But I am losing and I don't feel hungry. Mostly cold. My husband says he can tell what days I lose the most weight on because it's nearly impossible to get me out of bed in the AM.

I still weigh obsessively every morning. Maybe if I didn't and only saw the net loss each week I'd be happier. My first WOW moment happened last Saturday. I was able to wear my work button down shirt- BUTTONED! I have been wearing it open over a long sleeve tee shirt for about 6 to 8 months. I buttoned it, tucked it in and looked very well put together! Yay!

5/3/06
Blech. Last night my husband made me a protien shake with a scoop of peanut butter and also SF vanilla ice cream. BAD IDEA! Half hour of misery for me. Later found out i was Lactose intolerant- hence the dumping!
And in good news, although I weighed the same today as yestersay according to my home scale my OBGYN's scale said 3 lbs less so that was nice even if not true.

5/2/06
Well today was a good day so far. Weighed in at 270.5 for a total loss of 27.5 lbs in just under 4 weeks. Thats fine by me! I'm losing steadily again, so long as I'm not stalled I'm happy.

I'm having a really hard time eating enough food/protien. I'm back at work on about 3/4 of the time and eating every 2-3 hours just isn't feasible. Sigh.

4/25/06
I had my Lap. RNY on April 5th at St. Francis in Trenton NJ.
My nurses were incredible, especially Renee.

I lost 18lbs very fast (in the first week) and now it has been almost 3 weeks and I am stalled because I have been having trouble eating and drinking enough. I moved to mush and puree's today and did a lot better so hopefully i'm turning the corner. Flirting with the same 3 lbs. is a MAJOR bummer, between 279 and 276, back and forth!

I do see my body shrinking. My boss and coworkers are obessed with my surgery because my boss almost had it a few years ago and backed out. Now his uncle and cousin ( owner and co- manager) want him to follow my good example. As a result I feel a lot of pressure at work to make everything sound ok.

The only problem I am having is trouble falling asleep, and being very tired. I'm sleeping about 12 hours a day right now, luckily I can do a lot of my work from home. My husband and mom have been fairly supportive, both of them were VERY scared for me. I'm kind of bull headed so I just did it my way. I also have a very supportive psychiatrist, Dr. Helen Jones, who helped me get from a big depressed lump back on track. I have experienced depression since I was in grammer school.

I'm a person who always has to have a plan. After high school I went right to college and then right on to grad school. (Phi Beta Kappa etc). I wanted to go right onto my PhD but I don't have the money. So right now the plan is to recover from surgery, get a better job, get my PhD, have 2 kids, and get a job teaching college and generally live happily ever after.

I'm really involved in my local equestrian community, lots of big names and olympians etc. I ride mostly dressage and hunters but I also do some driving. I have an OTTB who I adore and I am an absolute expert on equine arthritis. I have also been involved in therapueetic riding and mounted patrol. I am hoping to someday purchase a 2nd horse for more recreational riding and trails as my TB isn't so good at that part.

I'm crazy about my cats, and I like dogs too. I worked for a dog groomer for a long time so I know a lot about household pets too. I think cows are dumb, but good scenery. Likewise sheep. Oh and I like and know a fair amount about alpaca's too.

Apperantly I don't have PCOS but I do have most of the side effects and have had cysts previously. Go fig. Major family history of breast cancer, diabetes, strokes, and heart problems as well as addiciton issues. I don't smoke, I drink rarely on social occasions and thats it. I'm a little boring for my age.

I'm not religious, but I was raised, bat mitzvahed and confirmed as a reformed jew. My kids will self identify as jewish since I believe it is a genetic thing to some degree, and respect and celebrate the holidays, but I don't know about anything else. My husband is a pagan and then some.