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           To God Be The Glory
           By: Toni W. Ingram
           Sunday, May 02, 2010

I told God that If He would open the door for me to get my weight loss surgery, I will give

Him all the Glory because it truly was only Jesus Christ that made a way for me to pay

for it.  The most out standing thing of all this, is, I had A Piece of mind, and, spirit going

in the operating room. I just quoted the scripture that God put in my heart: Yea, though I

walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.

(Ps.23)
Many people kept at me asking questions like, are you scared?, are you going to be able

to do the life style and stick to your "diet"?, What are you going to do when you get fine

and sexy?, how are you going to act?, and many more foolish questions that shouldn't be

even thought upon. All I know is that I am mature enough to handle my newness in body

because what I truly desire is to be a soldier in the army of the LORD Jesus Christ. My

focus is on my Fathers business,and how I might please Him. All that other stuff has no

value or purpose in it, the bible calls such actions vain, distruction,or, death. I just

quoted the Word of God, because when you look at such petty thoughts as those I just

mention you will find out where you flesh lye's.
The way it all happened for me is a miracle at best, because things just fell in to place. I

had a 10,000 dollar surgery and To the Glory Of GOD ALMIGHTY, I only had to pay

700.00. Wow, If you can't see the miracle in that, then you have no sense of seeing your

blessings. I can explain even more; about 1995 my life went way off course, I was living in

a project in south Dallas, and had Two baby boys, being foolish and ignorant I tried to fit

in my environment, instead of setting an example. Just to keep it real I was living a life

style of destruction,shame and doing no good at all, I developed a disease called  hypothyroidism,

and I started gaining weight, having depression, uneducated, living on the government,

housing, food stamps, afdc, ect. I tried to go to school and doing alright in a school called

the Mary Crawley program, paid for by the housing authority, but I stopped. I was more

interested in being kool, down, what ever. I started having break downs, mentally and

had to go into the hospital for depression, anxiety, and any thing else that was trying to

jump on me, cause at the time I wasn't covered under the blood of Jesus like I am now.

Many times I should have been dead, But, GOD said, Not So.
I was diagnosed with borderline personally dis-order, by-pol or,depression, all kinds of

things that the psych. doctor can think of just to put me on medication that really took

me on a psychological melt down. I was gaining more and more weight, and being

hospitalized more often than not. For ten years of my life I was on a ride that I couldn't

get off of, so I tried taking several hand fulls of pills that should have killed me called

Hydrazine. 10mg. can knock you out, but GOD said, Not so.
I had no idea that I would ever come back from that, so I lost hope, gave up, and just

waiting to die.I would sleep my life away, cry, feel worthless,and even thought that God

made a mistake making me. I question God on why I was here in this world if all I was

going to get was hurt,abused, abandaned,neglected, or just punished for being alive.
WOW, Who I am today, is totaly different from that unhealthy, and unstable person.  I

didn't even know who I really was. I tried to find me, but,where do I start.I thought how

can I find some one I never had a change to really know. The only way I could was to

FIND MY FATHER GOD. I asked myself, What are you like Toni, and who are you? I find

me liking things that I never thought would be me, like, writing poetry, writ ting my first

song, writ ting more and more. Falling in love with Jesus Christ of Nazareth is the best

move I could have ever done. I like school and learning, I love my job a career I can build

on. I love who I am in Christ Jesus and who He made me to be. I love being a woman after

GODs own Heart, And I love forgiveness, mercy,grace, understanding, wisdom that only

comes from above.I Love the Word Of GOD, and the way He opened my eyes to life. Do I

still need work!      OH Yea, you can trust me on that, However, I believe I am off to a good

start.

 

I was just sitting here and thinking about my surgery, well it's been on my mind for a while now. I was thinking stuff like what if this surgery doesn't work for me and I'm not one of the success stories out there? Be cause I can honestly say all I'm thinking about is food, how am I going to buy the vitamins, the protein drinks, what if I can't do it?  I tell myself say a prayer because that is just the enemy talking and this too will pass.  And yet I still have questions? When do I start my liquid diet my operation is just next week?  WHAT IF,  WHAT IF, WHAT IF?   (AAAAAHHHH)  Am I the only one like this that has these type of questions and doubts about my self?