Love my Band, Hate to eat!

Jul 13, 2009

I love my band.....I really really really love my band. Another 2 pounds this week and I feel completely satisfied and thankful that this is exactly what I wanted. BuT....you know there always has to be a but! But, I really don't enjoy eating anymore. I used to look so forward to what I was going to eat. I would get excited about eating at a certain place or a certain food. But now, its almost a chore. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am still trying to take too big of bites and eat too fast. And the fact that I really have to concentrate..on small bites, on chewing, on OMG am I stuck?  The days of mindless eating, of shoving food in my mouth, of not realizing I had eaten the entire plate before I actually knew it....those are over. I might even miss them a bit. I used to eat at my desk at work while answering emails or searching the internet or reading something. And now, if I do that, for sure, I will lose track, take a big bite and the next thing you know I am like, Oh CRAP!!! But even with all that. I am learning. I am getting better and better at this eating thing. I am learning that food is an activity that does not need to dominate my entire life...but that for a season, I NEED TO PAY ATTENTION. Because NOT paying attention, is what got me to 365. 

Next weekend, since I met my 50 pound goal, is the reward. My first tatoo. Me and 4 other women are heading to the tatoo parlor to get our first tatoos!!! I am soooo excited...I am learning to do the things for me that really matter. Not that a tatoo really matters....but to me, it is a milestone, and a doorway, to a completely different me. ONe that I have hidden for such a long time because I did not want anyone to look at me, or notice me, or call attention to myself. So....hey world!!! I AM GETTING A TATOO!!! Will post pics of it when I finish. 

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