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I haven't posted in a while but, wanted to stop by to give a little encouragement to those who may be just starting their journey or those who are newly post-op.  I am 2 years and 4 months post-op and I feel great.  I have met people since my surgery who are hoping to have wls and I never keep it a secret that I have had wls.  I would like to admit that sometimes it gets hard but, I try to remember that wls should be your last resort and that the surgery is a tool for me to use to stay healthy, not a magic wand.  I got away from exercising because I had lost a little too much weight at one point but, my new year's resolution is to get back into exercising/toning at least times a week.  I've started by purchasing an elliptical and I'm looking for a treadmill so that my husband  and I can exercise together.  Good luck to those of you starting out and keep on track those of you who are already living the life.

I'm 13 months out and past my personal goal and less than 10lbs. away from my doctor's goal. This has been an amazing journey.  Though it hasn't ended I feel that I've reached a monumental place on my journey to physical, mental and even spiritual transformation.  I still have some issues of body image and though everyone compliments me on my weight loss and tell me I look good'. I can see so many things that I'm unhappy with.  I have spent many years on the up and down weight roller coaster.  I had clothes in my closet which ranged from size 26 to size 9.  I am now a size 7! But I'm still so afraid to throw out those bigger sizes.  I have not attended support group meetings but, with all the issues I have now I'm trying to find a group closer to my home.  I think I may even upload some pictures of myself finally.  I can't wait to see what's in store for me on the next leg of my journey.

I am enjoying my new smaller self but, I'm feeling a little self conscious about some of the sagging skin.  My once full breast are now wrinkly and hanging low.  I love to show cleavage but, I find myself covering it more.  I'm looking for some creams or something that can help to tighten the skin.  I make a point to get in as much water in a day as possible.  Being well hydrated help the skin to plump but, I need something to help tighten the skin.  I hope I don't sound unappreciative but, I'm just going through a thing because I have lost the weight before and I didn't have this problem so I just was not expecting this part of the weight loss journey.  All in all I can tuck push up and conceal the areas I'm not so happy about, I'm just glad that 79lbs. of unhealthy fat is gone for good.  Be healthy my fellow deflating friends and take it all in stride.

I'm finally in onederland!  I treated myself, as promised to a beauty day.  Only I had to nix the pedi because it was so darn cold that day.  I promised myself that I will reschedule though.  I feel great.  I'm glad I have my OH community to express my feelings to because my husband is starting to have issues with my weight loss.  He's becoming very insecure.  Always looking at me funny and asking who's calling me.  It is so frustrating.  I'm happy to look and feel better but, I'm not looking for or interested in anyone outside of my marriage.  It's making me feel like I have to pull back a little on what I wear and that makes me angry with myself.  This is something I didn't expect.  I won't continue to alter who I'm becoming inside and out just to appease him. 

I went in for my blood work and check up with the surgeon.  Just like always, I was chatting with the other patients in the waiting room.  You know, which surgery did you have?. how far out are you?, how much have you lost?.  One woman asked my weight before surgery, I told her, I have no problem sharing.  She then said," If I was 265lbs. I wouldn't have even had surgery."  What the...!  First of all, just because I'm not as obese as you, I am still obese at 5'4" and 265lbs.  Second, let's see if when she gets down to 265 she'll be happy enough or feel good enough to just stay there.  I understand that everyone sees a weight lower than their current weight as a healthier weight but, in no way should you make someone feel that they were not in need of weight lose surgery.  We get enough negative talk and vibes from those who are not obese.  We shouldn't have to hear negative comments from each other.  I made the decision to help myself become healthier before I continued to gain weight.  I shouldn't be made to feel uncomfortable about my decision or unworthy of the surgery that has saved my life.  People please, think before you speak.

My first big short term goal is to reach 199.  I plan to celebrate, not by eating out, but by treating myself to a mini-spa day.  I'm sure many of you understand how big a deal it is to be under 200lbs.  As you can all see by my avatar, I did not like the person I had become and didn't want anyone to see her.  At 265lbs., I didn't think I looked good in any way or any thing.  I'm now starting to get my confidence back about my outward self.  I'm liking the way my body is changing and I feel great.  I may have to post those before and after pictures after all.    

I'm just a few days shy of 8 weeks post-op and I think I'm starting to get adjusted to my new lifestyle.  I'm down 50+ pounds and I'm working out Monday through Friday.  I'm doing 45 minutes on the treadmill at 3mph, which comes to a little over 2 miles.  I'm so proud of myself.  I feel so good after I complete my 45 minutes.  I've heard people say that exercise gives you energy but, it's hard for a sedentary person to believe.  I also switched to syntrax nectar protein drinks.  This has made all the difference.  I'm now getting in atleast 69 grams of protein from shakes alone but, I'm also eating protein rich meats and veggies.  I've finally gotten to a point that I know how much food my pouch can take and I don't end up 'over filling' and throwing up anymore.  I'm even able to drink more water.  I hadn't been able to drink really cold water since I had surgery.  I feel great and I'm so excited that I can almost see 199.    

Today will be my first day back in a gym in about 2 years.  I'm a little apprehensive because I'm not sure what the crowd at this gym is like and I'm going alone.  I'm not the type of person that needs a partner to work out but, today I wish I had someone to give a little support.  I'm excited about beginning a work out regimen though.  I know that I'll look better if I help the weight come off while toning.  Well here I go......

I'm 1 month post-op today.  I'm in a strange place right now.  I'm having trouble keeping almost everything down.  Sometimes I feel like the surgery has turned me into a bulimic.  Although I should be transitioning to a softer regular diet, everything I try seems to come back up.  I'm trying not to get discouraged but, it's hard.  I have those thoughts in my head that say, "now you'll never be able to eat like a normal person".  I know this is just negative self talk but, I'm struggling.  It's not like I'm craving fatty foods or 'bad' foods but, I would like to eat a good chicken salad and not see it in the toilet a few minutes later.  I have to keep trying different foods and keep plugging away at it, I'm certain things will be okay in a while.  I just can't wait until 'a while' gets here.

I feel pretty good.  My only complaints are having some pain at my larger incision site and feeling a little dry because I'm not able to get in enough liquids.  I'll should be moving on to a regular diet with soft foods in a week and I can't wait to get a good salad in.  It's really funny that my friends and family all focus on what I won't be able to eat.  I'm trying to explain to them that there is still so much that I will be able to eat.  Things that are good tasting and nutritious.  I've always heard that many people go through a sort of depression because they mourn the food they can no longer have.  I guess that's what it is for my people.  I'm also looking forward to getting clearance from Dr. Wood to exercise
I've lost a lot of weight before and I looked great because I consumed a lot of water, which helped my skin retain it's elasticity and I also exercised while I was losing weight.  My boobs are already deflating and I just want to exercise so that I can tone my muscle in the process.  I'm so excited about my new life.  I feel like I can finally live the life I sat on the sidelines of.