Rachelq

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Well here I am -- embarking on my six year post op. I actually don't have a lot to say this time 'round. I've been maintaining my weight between 150-155 for quite a while now, but it is the flabbiest I've ever been. Haven't been exercising much. I'm going to school and in a new job (preschool teacher -- yeah!) On top of being a wife and mommy of two boys one of which is heavily into basketball (by choice...I'm not one of those plug them into everything kinda moms). So for the first time in a long time I can say...I don't have time (or energy) to exercise. DH bought me a treadmill for Christmas, my class ends in a few weeks (last one for a while), back to the grind then!

Let see...Oh I went to one post op meeting through lite dimensions for those a year out or more. I ended up not going back 1) She wanted us to get in touch with our hunger by not staying on an eating plan but by listening to our bodies. She had some neat exercises, but I gained six lbs in one month and freaked. If I listen to my body, it says "I'M HUNGRY...FEED ME!"
2) Most of the folks were just a year out...no offense...but post op life changes exponentially as time moves forward.

So what can I say, I'm not ready to figure out why I still overeat given the chance. One day I'll head back to a therapist, but right now is not the time. What I'm doing is working (good enough) right now. At my 5 year anniversary, I'm still considered over weight by the charts, but I'm healthy. I'm doing a job that I KNOW I couldn't have done 6 years ago. I can jump on a treadmill and run three miles if I feel like it.  I can go to amusement parks with my kids and not worry about fitting on rides or tuckering out too fast! Not to mention I'm still co-morbid free! Life is good...thank you Lord!

Photos to come...

 

Home made tamales, cookies, ham, wine, champagne, cocktails...

So I'm up to 155. I'm not too freaked out yet. My head is in a good place, and I got a treadmill for christmas. I started the 5dpt. Well see if I get the pounds before my demons get me!

I've been contacted by several folks since posting my 4 year update and possible wls failure. I thought I'd share my reply to one of these folks, because it helped me realize (and be thankful) that things have changed.

Here you go!

Hi...
Nice to hear from you. First let me say, don't panic; it can get better. Second, let me say, it seems like a lifetime ago I posted last in terms of where my head is, yet it has only been two months.

So what's different you might ask. Well, 'coming out' as a food addict and a possible wls failure was a good start on the road to change. I've also been posting my ups and downs on the California board with as much honesty as I can muster. Living my life 'out loud' has brought be back to a place of accountability. And finally, I'm trying to get over the fact that I may never have a normal relationship with food. Whether it’s in my head or my biological make up, I respond differently to food than most of the people I know that do not have an obesity issue. So instead of fighting it (and wasting energy on that effort followed by resentment), I'm learning to live with who I really am.

That self acceptance seems to flip a switch for me. I've been trying to eat 'normally' all this time. Well I'm not normal in terms of food. What I've known all along is I'm an all or nothing type of person. I realize it is something I need to work on, but trying to work on that doesn't mean I can't address my food issues in the mean time.

For me to lose or even maintain my weight right now, I have to live within the confines of my current all or nothing mentality. So, I've discovered the 5 day pouch test diet (see 5daypouchtest.com). This program is designed to get you back to basics in terms of protein first, eliminating 'slider foods' (see the site), no drinking with meals, portion control (in terms of WLS), and the biggy the possible reduction in the size of your pouch.

I've been doing this diet every other week. I lost 12lbs...then went to Hawaii for two weeks, but only gained back 4 of the 12 (the pouch shrinking aspect has really helped me with my portions, but I couldn't resist the mai tais. Already, my mental state is better because I feel I have another weapon in my arsenal of controlling my weight (at least until I get my all or nothing head together). 

I've been back home since Saturday, and started the diet again on Monday. I have no doubt that the 4lbs will be gone by this time next week. What a great feeling huh? 

All that being said, IT IS REALLY HARD TO STAY ON THE PROGRAM! But I sustain myself by reaching back to the memories of fighting for my surgery, the realization that I'm alive and healthy and not willing to give it up, the memory of my many friends who did not make it through this surgery, and most importantly I reliance on God and the peace and strength that only He can give. So as of last Saturday, I was at 155. 10lbs lower than I was two months ago, even after a two week vacation. Is it the healthiest way I can do this, no, but I have a sickness (food addiction) that needs to be treated with extreme measures. 

My long term hope is that I will get my head and body together...what a dream that would be!

Sorry to ramble on, but I'm in such a place of self discovery right now. I pray some of what I'm saying will help you too! If not, I hope you find your way. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this, and your plans for the future!

Wishing you wellness,
Rachel

 

I've added info regarding my trials and tribs of this journey...read if you care to! Thanks for stopping by!

I updated 'My Story' today with my 3 year update. Feel free to read and comment if you'd like!

Ta,
Rock