reneemonique

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I feel stuck.. I have acheived a great weight loss and have surpassed my orrigional goal.... Why do i feel this isnt good enough. I have been bouncing up and down 5 pounds or so for the past two months. My household composition has changed dramaticaaly from myself and my two young children adding two teenagers and a grown man. I no longer an in control of the food that comes into my house and it makes it harder to make the right decisions about what goes into my mouth. I am having to remind myself that i need to put myself and my health first.... This is how I am starting that... getting back to me and my supports...

I am almost at my goal weight. Of course now i want to loose more but i am excited to be where i want to be for the first time since god knows when!

I have started to reach some goals. I have lost over 50 lbs! I am almost in the 230’s which I haven’t been since before my children!!!! I can’t wait to see those numbers again. A whole lot of little things have started to hit me, like not having to lift my leg to tie my seatbelt or having to use the grab bar to get into my friends huge jeep!   I was going through clothes the other day and put on a shirt I haven’t worn since my son was born (he turned 5 yesterday) I looked in the mirror and felt like I recognized myself again! It felt so good to see me for me. Life is looking up and I am feeling great!

I am starting to feel much better. The light headed feeling is starting to regulate itself and i am less and less tierd. I am able to walk for longer periods of time before i feel dizzy and am looking forward to getting more fresh air. We are getting a dog. I think this is the perfect time for me to aquire a walking partner.

Starting to broaden the types of full fluids in taking in and trying to increase my "food" intake to 4-5 times a day instead of just protein shakes. Have found some pretty yummy puddings out there... my own little peice of heaven. Funny thing is i can no longer taste chocolate! Its funny the puddings and protein shakes taste that are chocolate taste creammy to me but thats all.... I guess this can be seen as a blessing! :)

Overall things are looking good. 13 days until im back to work!

I feel like i have been drinking the same liquids forever. I started my opti fast on January 14th and have been drinking liquid since then. Surgery was on January 29th and have now added boost diabetic to my liquid diet (which taste and smells like baby vomit).

I still have three weeks left of this fluid diet and i think i may go crazy! I need a little variety and am having such a hard time keeping my mind set.

I just keep remembering the pouds lost are worth it.... :S

My range of motion is improving and the pain is different than it was in the beginning, not gone but different. I am getting the itch. ... My incisions are driving me crazy.... I know its a good sign that they are starting to heal but lord is it hard not to scratch!

I am now down 16 lbs since i started the process of optifast 18 days ago! This is a great feeling for me. I have always been the type who plateaus fast and easy when loosing weight and i know this will be a challenge i will have to overcome in order to stay motivated!

My mind is racing thinking about he next few weeks. I need to get out of the house so i am planning a trip to a shopping centre for a nice walk. (to much snow outside in Niagara right now to be able to walk with these incisions.)

Looking forward to what tomorrow will bring!

I am so excited to have had my surgery and am learning new things about my new body every day. The dont lye when they say even your tast buds change.... i went from only liking chocolate shakes to cringing when i see chocolate and grabbing vanilla or strawberry..... It will be interesting to see the other changes as my diet progresses through the next few months.

Every day is a new discovery.... lets see what day six brings....

A few more sleeps 5 to be exact... Optifast is going well enough. I weighed myself the day i started optifast and was at 298 lbs. Last night i was down to 287lbs. I cant wait to have the surgery but i feel like i have already started my weight loss journey. A journey to the real me.... someone i have never met but am lookign forward to getting to know!

I received a call yesterday stating that my surgery was set for January 29th! I have started my Optifast today and coulnt be more excited! I feel like one journey is finally comming to an end and a whole new one is beggining! Cant wait for this new journey to beggin!

 Contemplating my next year, going over before and afters, i have realized something about myself. I have been extremely prejudice. Not against race, religion or status but against "perfect people". I have always looked at those skinny beautiful girls and thought it was all handed to them, hated them deep down for not having to work for it. I assumed that none of them could possibly understand my life.

Today i want to try and reverse my mind set. Looking at all of the before and after pictures of other members made me see that many people have to work, and work hard to get to and maintain that healthy weight and self love. And of course they look happy and like life is amazing because they are enjoying their new found love for life.

So to all those i may have mentally thought negatively against, my sincere apologies!

And here's to knowing that soon i will be one of those "perfect people" and will love myself on the outsdie just as much as on the inside!