rinadizzle
so...now what?
Feb 23, 2009
I'm not a blogging person, really. i make lots of typos and its hella late so bare with me...
when i first started meeting with Dr.Higa he gave me the statistics and about how much people normaly lose after surgery and keep off yadda...yadda...Well, he also had a goal in mind for me. he wanted to see me get down to 139. when he told me this at 271lbs i was like, i dont even remember seeing that weight on a scale! i was just stupified. well, after a few times seeing him i changed my goal to like 150ish, i just couldnt even imagine being 139 at all!!
so i got down to 160 and flat-lined for quite a while. it was so fustrating, being right there...and....you....j..u.s.t CANT!!! but then i tried the 5 day pouch test and, (if you read my previos blog you'll see i still have a"bad habbit" of starving my slef aka 5 day pouch test!) i didnt even make it to day 5 and i lost those last 10lbs! i was so stoked, and i kept it off too! yeah, i would fluctuate 150...155..153...159...
(oh no!)...154...
just peachy keen!
But then i took a look in the mirror and said to my self, "YOU CAN DO BETTER!" but it was hard, really hard, i got back up to 165 one week and its just all the damn easy, get up, and GO fast food! but i handled my self and did what i new i had to do...ditch it!
no not all the way, its all about portion control and i think that week i was dealing with some marital problems. any way...
so along comes my WLS aniverssary and im still at 150ish..eh...but not ok...then somthing happens...my body kicks back in to gear and im down 145...and a few weeks later...
B A M ! ! !
139 bitches!!!!
WLS and Coworkers
Feb 08, 2009
-First, a little about me. I work for Safeway in the Deli and I have been there for a little over 2 years. I had my RNY in January 2008, and most of my coworkers knew that I was getting cut. Some of them, but not many, didn't agree with my decision. One of my close coworkers in my dpt. suggested that I go on the show The Biggest Looser. Well, you know what? Congratz to all of you people who did lose weight with hard work, excercise and preserverance. I'm not going to talk down about your decicision to go on national television, go through a series of trial and error, and potentionally fail their test. I cannot do that. Every weight loss surgery patient has a fear of failing because, chances are, we have dieted, lost it, and gained it right back and then some. I thought, what if even with this life altering surgery, I still cant lose .Some of us have eating disorders; a rough love-hate relationship with food. When I made the decision to have gastric bypass I wasnt too optomistic. I figured that if I was going to fail, I was going to fail in the privacy of my own home and I am just going to be a BIG FAT LOSER the rest of my life!
Ok, phew-enough of that! While I was "in waiting" (6 months to be exact) I went on little missions, poked, and pried into people's lives, interviewing everyone I could. In the process to expand my education, I would communicate the things I learned from other people. I have been told that I encouraged people to take back controle of their lives.
Oh! About that^, I hadnt even turned 20 when I made up my mind that I was never going to be fat ever again. People have told me that I was so young to be making such a life changing decission and then once I said what I had to say about WLS, I would often find them rather impressed of how knowledgable I was.
*WARNING!* Bad behavior is docummented in this section. oops!
So, now you know that I was under 21 when I made up my mind to have surgery. Before I even had that idea I was a typical partying teenager. I smoked, drank alcohol, "experimented" there I said it!!!! I was a "wild child". I am not a great gastric bypass patient. I had my first drink 6 months out of surgery and started smoking again...yadda yadda, ok? I eat fast food, drink soda, make myself sick off of carbs, eat candy, well...I eat whatever I damn well please when my stomach will alow it. I am a Cheater! Because in the beginning everything is all peachy keen, your not getting hungry yeah, but you want to snak on the bad stuff, I would snack on the bad stuff and because I wasnt getting hungry I would starve off the few pounds I gained the day before. I would go on a liqued diet for 3 days to lose an extra 10lbs. Take a look at my tracker, ha, lmfao! I only weighed myself when I lost weight and I would plateu for like 3 months, go on the First 3 days of the 5 day pouch test and yeah.
Well, it has been a little over a year and I have lost 121lbs. Some coworkers didnt know how to "deal" with my rapid weight loss, others became jelouse and began dieting and making comments like, "Eat a damn sandwich!" or "So...when are you gonna stop losing weight?" and I even had a coworker I got along with really well ask me my pant size and when I told her she responded with a seriouse "STFU" because I was smaller than her. Never in my life had I ever expereinced jelousy where "other people" were jelouse of me!!!!
There is this one lady checker that used to encouage me and we were nice to each other, friendly. Let's call her "Pam". Well, Pam is obese. She has recently started her "journey" for the Lap-band. Pam had some gastro-intestonal problems years ago, nearly died, and she has had to change the way she eats. One day while I was passing through the break room somthing was said at some time between Pam and I and she asked me in a sarcastinc tone, "Well, didnt your surgeon tell you not to eat junk food?" and I replied, "Well yeah, but I got this surgery to be 'normal' not a health freak. Normal people eat junk food, normal poeple have a drink, its called moderation." Sometimes I dont want to buy a pack of smokes when shes the only checker up front because I dont want to hear her judgemental comments. Pam likes to say, "You still... blah... blah... blah..even after 'ALL' you've been through?" Sometimes I'm like, what do you know about anything, ANYTHING I've been through? She just makes me so mad!!! Because, no, she doesnt know what it is like when its that time of the month and you have a craving for chocolate that you just cannot satisfy because it has WAY too much sugar and will make you sick and the craving always comes when the See's in the mall is already closed.she doesnt know what it was like for me to come home crying every day from school, because the other kids just made up a new name for me.
My whole world changed the day I got kicked off a roller coaster because I was too big. That was the day that I decided I was never EVER going to be fat again!
Undies and shirts and pants! Oh my!
Apr 14, 2008
Oh, my god! i went to Walmart tonight and found some pants that fight awsome. A little tight, but im not muffing topping or gushing out of them, and even better, they were on clearance for $9, whoo!! My 18s have been fitting my baggy and i was like "hm...I think I'm ready for a 16 streach" and sure enough I was, it was like magic. I'm so happy, I wanted to cry in the changing room, and better yet, they make my butt look fine! I have never been this happy about my body in my life. Its so insane!!!!
About Me
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
